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3:17:57
Transcript
0:01
Joe Rogan podcast. Check it out.
0:04
>> The Joe Rogan Experience.
0:06
>> TRAIN BY DAY. JOE ROGAN PODCAST BY
0:08
NIGHT. All day.
0:12
>> Let's go. We're back.
0:15
>> We're back.
0:16
>> We are back.
0:17
>> We're Comedy Oasis.
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0:19
>> That's right.
0:20
>> What's [laughter] the story? Morning
0:21
Glory. It's been almost a year.
0:23
>> Wow. It's flying by. What are we 12 now?
0:26
Is this 12 episodes?
0:27
>> I think we're way 16. 40.
0:30
>> Damn, that's a lot of drink.
0:31
>> How many times have we played Fle
0:32
freeird?
0:33
>> Oh, we're playing it again. [laughter]
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0:37
>> The exact same episode we always do.
0:38
>> Yeah, we're going to [laughter] talk
0:39
we're going to talk about coming out of
0:40
the closet.
0:41
>> Play Metallica.
0:43
>> Yeah, play Metallica.
0:44
>> R. Kelly.
0:45
>> So, it turns out that that lady that
0:47
that was a scam that was fake. The lady
0:48
who uh forced the guy to [ __ ] her. It
0:51
was it JP Morgan.
0:53
>> What?
0:53
>> Yeah. Wasn't real.
0:54
>> She was hot.
0:55
>> I know.
0:55
>> Was that in the last one we did?
0:57
>> Jamie said it's fake, right? It's fake.
0:59
Yeah, the news is going around that it's
1:00
like there was like a the lawsuit is not
1:03
accurate apparently. It's like a
1:04
retaliatory lawsuit.
1:06
>> So, he just claimed that she said all
1:08
those things and she made him [ __ ] her.
1:10
>> Damn. What a [ __ ]
1:11
>> Wait, is he an Indian guy?
1:12
>> I believe so.
1:13
>> Yeah. Gross.
1:14
>> It does read like an Indian guy now that
1:16
I'm thinking about.
1:17
>> Like the horniest guy ever. [laughter]
1:19
>> Just coming up with the hottest scene.
1:23
[laughter]
1:23
>> She called him cannons. When she once a
1:26
lady calls her tits cannons. Who have
1:28
you ever heard of a girl call her kids
1:30
cannons?
1:31
>> 18year-old, 16-year-old boy [laughter]
1:33
thing.
1:33
>> I've never heard cannons.
1:35
>> Cannons. Gazongas.
1:36
>> I've heard guys talk about a girl's
1:39
cannons when she's nowhere near them.
1:40
>> I've heard cans. Can torpedoes?
1:44
>> I've heard cannons. I think I'm pretty
1:46
sure I've heard jugs.
1:47
>> Nick cannons. [laughter]
1:50
>> Jugs.
1:52
Sweater puppets. Fun bags. Knockers.
1:54
>> They're just boobs and tits. But a lady
1:56
saying that
1:57
>> that's no lady.
1:58
>> I'm sure she said she did. She said I'm
2:00
sure you fish head Asian wife doesn't
2:04
have [laughter] cannons like this.
2:06
>> Fish head.
2:07
>> That's what he said.
2:08
>> That's what he said. She said damn.
2:10
>> What's that to me more movies? He
2:12
claiming it's that
2:13
>> strip tease.
2:14
>> No. No. Well, she was the boss and she
2:15
made the guy [ __ ] her.
2:16
>> Disclosure.
2:17
>> Disclosure.
2:18
>> Oh, I used to yank it to that one.
2:20
>> Oh god. Article almost made me yank it
2:22
this morning.
2:23
>> I know, right? laying in bed seeing
2:24
[laughter] that Twitter fish.
2:26
>> This is hot as hell.
2:27
>> She's hot.
2:28
>> Indian guy should write more stuff.
2:29
>> This guy's a writer. Yeah.
2:30
>> So if she if he got fired and he made up
2:33
that story like what should the
2:35
repercussions be?
2:36
>> Jail.
2:37
>> Yeah.
2:37
>> You can't just do that.
2:39
>> Especi Well, for sure. It was a guy the
2:43
guy would be f if it was a guy and a
2:45
woman claimed that the guy said these
2:46
terrible things. The guy would be fired.
2:49
He would be shamed. But no one's mad at
2:51
that lady.
2:52
>> No. No. No, they were like mad at that
2:54
lady for making him [ __ ] her.
2:55
>> No, he loved the lady.
2:56
>> Even in the moment before he was came
2:58
out as a hoax when they thought it was
2:59
true, her boss was like, "Come on, I
3:01
can't be doing that."
3:03
>> That's about as bad as it got.
3:04
>> Boy pulled her into the office and go,
3:06
"Let me see them.
3:07
>> Let me see these cannons. [laughter]
3:09
>> Bust out the missiles."
3:10
>> We just got to do our research, due
3:12
diligence. I just got to see the
3:13
cannons. [laughter]
3:14
>> Which also
3:16
>> just to
3:18
He might He might be telling the truth.
3:20
Is it Are we sure it's fake yet? I'm
3:22
sure you can a boy dream.
3:24
>> What a great What a great way to have no
3:26
one believe you is if you intentionally
3:27
use words like that. Like I [laughter]
3:29
would never speak that way.
3:32
>> There's been a string of middle uh
3:33
middle-ag horrors going around lately.
3:35
Have you noticed that?
3:36
>> Love it. It's back.
3:36
>> It's back. Like the the reporter chick
3:38
who's been banging the football coach.
3:40
Uh Christy Gnome was cheating on that
3:43
guy with the tits.
3:44
>> That guy with the tits was [ __ ] the
3:46
tits rock. Those are
3:48
>> crazy. the chick who wrote the RFK
3:50
article that had a deeply emotional
3:52
relationship with him.
3:53
>> Oh, really?
3:53
>> Yeah. Then and then that was the second
3:55
one. I It was crazy. Then there was a
3:57
second one she had like that. She
3:59
>> She likes to get to know her subjects.
4:01
>> The text the texts were wild though.
4:03
>> Deeply emotional.
4:04
>> Pull them up
4:05
>> both back and forth.
4:06
>> His version was
4:08
>> Wait, this is a while ago, right?
4:09
>> Yeah, it was a couple years ago.
4:10
>> Yeah. Something that like let my river
4:11
flow into your It was It was odd.
4:14
>> It's like a Dave Matthews song.
4:16
[laughter]
4:17
>> Damn.
4:19
Does he does he text like he talks? Is
4:20
it all jumbly?
4:22
>> But see, for a lady, it's like a free
4:24
shot. You never have to worry about
4:25
[laughter] getting in trouble. Like, no
4:27
one's even going to be in tr No one's
4:29
going to be mad at her as a journalist
4:30
even.
4:31
>> It's not like she's discredited.
4:33
>> No,
4:34
>> the husband was like, um, this is kind
4:35
of lame.
4:36
>> The husband husband didn't love it.
4:38
>> Oh, she's married, which a freak.
4:40
>> Yeah.
4:41
>> The reporter [snorts] with RFK
4:43
>> alleged.
4:44
>> He was a heroin addict, too. He's a fun
4:46
dude. fun. Got after it.
4:49
>> I like him.
4:49
>> Lived his life.
4:50
>> I like him a lot.
4:51
>> Didn't used to stutter.
4:52
>> That's true.
4:53
>> It's not a stutter. It's a It's a
4:54
vaccine injury. [laughter]
4:56
>> Oh, really?
4:56
>> Yeah.
4:57
>> He didn't used to talk that way.
4:58
>> No. From the flu vaccine. Yeah. You see
5:00
videos of him from the the '9s. He had a
5:02
great voice.
5:03
>> Great. Black hair.
5:04
>> Are you reading the text? They're
5:05
hilarious. It's like Prince Charles. Any
5:07
dude who tries to be like romant like
5:09
they don't know how to do it.
5:10
>> It's a poem.
5:12
>> Oh. As soon as you're writing a lady a
5:14
poem, it's over. How do we know this is
5:15
true? Uh,
5:16
>> I think it was it was verified. [snorts]
5:18
From what I remember, it was verified.
5:20
>> Olivia Nuzy.
5:21
>> Nuzy.
5:22
>> She sounds like a freak.
5:23
>> Yeah, she she's sharing it. So, I mean,
5:25
it could be from anybody.
5:26
>> She sounds like Staten Island trash.
5:28
>> You're awaiting my harvest.
5:31
>> Hey, there we go.
5:32
>> She looks like fun.
5:33
>> Not too shabby. [laughter]
5:36
>> Don't spill a drop. Oh,
5:37
>> your open Y R. Who writes Y R for your
5:41
>> Come on. Really?
5:43
Your open mouth is awaiting my harvest.
5:46
That doesn't even make sense.
5:47
>> You think he eats ass cuz that's
5:49
processed.
5:50
>> This is my favorite one. I mean to
5:52
squeeze your cheeks to force open your
5:53
mouth. I'll hold your nose as you
5:55
[clears throat] look up to me [laughter]
5:56
to encourage you to swallow.
5:58
>> Whoa.
5:59
>> Don't spill a drop. I am a river. You
6:01
are my canyon.
6:03
>> Wow. Baja, baby.
6:05
>> Wow. My love.
6:06
>> I'm not buying this. That sounds like
6:08
literature.
6:09
>> But I can't have a Pop-Tart.
6:11
[laughter]
6:13
You can't have Froot Loops with the good
6:14
colors.
6:16
>> Dizzing in her mouth.
6:17
>> I [laughter] love these great Froot
6:18
Loops, dude.
6:23
>> You ever seen Canadian Froot Loops?
6:24
They're bland and dim and dull.
6:27
>> That's what they're going to sell here
6:28
now.
6:28
>> Oh god, it's over.
6:30
>> We used to be a country.
6:31
>> It's over.
6:32
>> But is this got to be a way to make them
6:33
prettier?
6:34
>> Yeah.
6:34
>> Without giving you ass cancer?
6:36
>> There's got to be some way,
6:37
>> bro. A lot of people getting ass cancer
6:40
lately. I had that.
6:41
>> Really?
6:42
>> That dude is like in his early 30s. He's
6:44
got stage three ass cancer. [laughter]
6:46
>> Yeah.
6:47
>> But he also took four shots.
6:49
>> Four of them.
6:50
>> Uhhuh.
6:51
>> Four what shots? Ask shots.
6:52
>> Vaccines.
6:53
>> And that gives you ass cancer.
6:54
>> He can give you cancer. Allegedly.
6:57
>> Did he boof the shots? [laughter]
6:59
>> That's the way to do it. If you really
7:00
want to get
7:01
>> Don't tell me how to take the vaccine.
7:03
[laughter]
7:04
>> Stuck the actual needle right into the
7:06
hole. in West Hollywood. They just got a
7:07
plunger and it's like
7:09
>> Jimmy Boofing.
7:11
>> You got the booofer.
7:14
[laughter]
7:16
>> Well, Trump almost got a shot the other
7:18
day.
7:18
>> Is that crazy?
7:19
>> What happened? That's the third
7:21
assassination attempt on that dude. The
7:22
[ __ ] guy run ran
7:26
mentioned in passing.
7:27
>> Assassination attempt at the White House
7:29
press correspondents dinner
7:31
>> where Reagan got shot.
7:32
>> Was it Michelle?
7:34
>> Same hotel.
7:34
>> Oh, really?
7:35
>> Oh, wow. So that must then trip advisor
7:37
must be rough on that one.
7:38
>> A correspondence dinner. Did was
7:39
[clears throat] there a comedian there?
7:40
>> No.
7:41
>> Oz the mentalist.
7:42
>> The menalist. Yeah.
7:43
>> Oz the mentalist.
7:44
>> You think he would have saw it coming?
7:46
>> You think [screaming]
7:48
>> he probably kept his mouth shut. He's
7:49
like, I think [snorts] we're going to go
7:51
attack two more Arab countries.
7:52
>> You know what's [laughter] hilarious?
7:53
Meer goes, did you see the fake
7:55
assassination attempt?
7:57
>> Don't you know? Don't you know
7:58
[laughter] about Gilgamesh?
8:00
>> Like what?
8:02
>> He always brings in his references,
8:03
right?
8:03
>> The Rothschilds. What are you saying? I
8:05
don't know. You don't need the
8:06
references. [laughter]
8:07
>> Oh, you don't know?
8:08
>> If Mezer can't get it up, he's like
8:09
Israel.
8:12
>> Everything's Israel. [laughter]
8:14
>> Israel.
8:19
>> Pretty good excuse. I'm going start
8:20
[laughter]
8:22
Kanye clips you showed me were [ __ ]
8:24
wild. He's the best. He's so fun.
8:26
>> What's nice with the shooter was mixed
8:28
race.
8:28
>> That's nice.
8:29
>> Is that nice?
8:29
>> That's nice cuz you, you know, you're
8:30
always like, "Don't be white. Don't be
8:32
white or don't be black
8:34
>> and don't be a combo.
8:36
>> Don't be an Arab. Just a American
8:38
liberal.
8:39
>> Wow.
8:40
>> Just a standard American liberal
8:42
>> has had enough of the uh uh whatever you
8:45
want to say he is
8:46
>> dictator.
8:48
>> Oh, right. Right. Fascism, the whole
8:50
thing.
8:50
>> Fascism, pedophile,
8:52
>> you know.
8:53
>> He was like a smart guy, valadictorian.
8:56
He was like a scientisty guy.
8:57
>> I think he was a teacher. Must be extra
8:59
tough for those guys cuz they're like so
9:01
like you haven't gotten into a fight
9:02
since you were seven
9:03
>> and then you're going to get a gun and
9:05
try to like kill a highle person. It's
9:07
like what a step up.
9:08
>> Well, he he shot a secret service guy.
9:10
You see him in the vest?
9:11
>> Yeah.
9:12
>> They don't know who shot who.
9:13
>> Oh, really?
9:14
>> Yeah.
9:14
>> Oh, okay.
9:15
>> You're saying the Secret Service guy
9:16
shot himself?
9:17
>> Not himself. [laughter]
9:18
>> It might have been Friendly Fire.
9:19
>> Trying to get out.
9:20
>> It might have been Friendly Fire.
9:21
>> Is it that lady again?
9:23
>> Yes, I think she
9:24
>> The lady was [laughter] there.
9:25
>> The one that looks like me. We were
9:27
joking around about it in the green
9:28
room. Imagine if she was like, "I know I
9:30
[ __ ] up way back in July, but look
9:32
guys, I'm better. I've been working
9:34
out."
9:35
>> Yeah.
9:35
>> And then this is their second
9:36
assignment.
9:38
>> We didn't talk about this part yet. The
9:40
tweet.
9:41
>> This guy.
9:42
>> Yeah. The weird the time machine tweet.
9:44
Yeah. This is nuts. So the Cole Allen
9:46
guy tried to kill Trump. It's not inside
9:48
the White House though, right? It was at
9:49
a hotel.
9:50
>> Yeah. Yeah.
9:50
>> Okay. An exac account for 2023 wrote a
9:53
single tweet with that name.
9:54
>> What? So just wrote Cole Allen from
9:57
2023. The profile belongs to Henry
10:00
Martinez, a NASA scientist who's
10:01
missing. The background image from a
10:03
website called Time Machine. If you
10:06
ddigitize it, the 2024 assassination
10:08
attempt photos appears but with a hole
10:11
in the head instead of the ear.
10:13
>> The profile picture is a green toad in a
10:15
tuxedo with a glass. Exactly like Trump
10:18
in the assassination attempt. Either
10:20
it's the most elaborate scop in history
10:22
or someone from the future is leaving
10:23
clues in the past that only make sense
10:26
once the events happen.
10:27
>> Okay.
10:28
>> Why do time travelers keep trying to
10:29
kill me? I'm just [laughter]
10:31
>> Wait a minute.
10:32
>> How is that picture the same? That is
10:33
not the same. That's just a bunch of
10:35
colors and you could decide it's the
10:36
same.
10:36
>> No, you got to decode it.
10:37
>> Oh, it's like a decode.
10:39
>> You got squeeze your eyes together.
10:41
>> I'll try.
10:42
>> It appears if you squeeze your eyes
10:43
together.
10:44
>> Trying sailboat. What do you like one of
10:46
those things where you could see like
10:47
words in a
10:48
>> Yeah, it was always a sailboat or
10:49
guitar.
10:50
>> Always is up there.
10:52
>> Mats,
10:52
>> do you think that makes sense, Jamie?
10:54
>> This picture part of it does not
10:56
[snorts] make a lot of sense, I don't
10:57
think. But
10:58
>> but it's weird that the guy is strange
11:00
enough.
11:00
>> The tweet is nuts.
11:00
>> Yeah, the tweet is strange enough
11:02
>> from two years ago. So, he's trying to
11:03
work up the courage for years.
11:06
>> 23. Yeah.
11:07
>> Yeah. And then the fact that it's a
11:08
frog. It's one of those kek guys,
11:11
>> those nutty [ __ ] pranksters. It's
11:13
funny if he was just he tried to search
11:16
somebody's name. [laughter]
11:18
>> He just got it right.
11:20
>> He was just like a cool guy.
11:22
>> Is that the only tweet this guy ever
11:23
made?
11:23
>> I think so.
11:25
>> Weird.
11:26
>> There is a bunch of random Twitter
11:28
accounts that have tweeted random names
11:30
just one time. So, I don't know like
11:31
what the odds of that happening are are
11:34
pretty slim.
11:35
>> I believe these are the eight guys we
11:37
have trying to like work with mentally.
11:40
So, like one of them will be activated
11:41
and try to kill somebody. So let's get
11:43
insurance. So that guy really was Is
11:46
that factual though that the guy really
11:48
was a NASA scientist? Henry Martinez.
11:50
>> But well, so when the people were
11:52
looking up his [snorts]
11:53
history, they he had a brief I think
11:55
like an internship at JPL
11:58
NASA, you know, Jet Labs or something.
12:01
>> Yeah.
12:01
>> And I think the other guy did too. That
12:03
I don't know that anybody knows more
12:04
than that. It is weird where you find
12:06
out a lot of these guys have these weird
12:07
ties like that guy who tried to shoot
12:10
Trump in Pennsylvania was in a Black
12:12
Rockck commercial.
12:13
>> Oh yeah.
12:15
>> It's all connected.
12:16
>> I did a lot of commercials when I was
12:18
coming up and I Black Rockck never I
12:20
didn't get an audition for any
12:21
[laughter] of those.
12:22
>> Yeah, right.
12:22
>> I don't know how you get that
12:23
commercial. Love to get that gig.
12:24
>> It's got to be non-union.
12:25
>> Not only that, like you definitely get
12:27
brought into the fold.
12:29
>> Mhm. He was teacher of the year this
12:30
guy.
12:31
>> So, did this guy get a shot off? Was he
12:32
close enough to get a shot off?
12:33
Allegedly. Jamie said allegedly he shot
12:36
a Secret Service guy.
12:37
>> How are these guys getting so close?
12:38
>> But it might have been that lady. The
12:39
fat lady shot him.
12:41
>> Maybe trying to get her gun out.
12:43
>> Oh [laughter] [ __ ]
12:45
>> P320 might have shot himself.
12:47
>> She's handsome.
12:50
>> It's It's just crazy that they don't
12:52
have better security.
12:53
>> Yeah. What the hell?
12:54
>> How' the guy get in the hotel with a
12:55
gun? Like, how are you not checking
12:57
every room? How you not like checking
12:59
everyone's bags if you know that the
13:01
president and all Marco Rubio all these
13:03
[ __ ] people are going to be there and
13:05
you don't and Oz the mentalist and you
13:07
don't have someone checking guns.
13:08
>> Why is there better security at the
13:10
Improv on Black Comic Night? [laughter]
13:14
>> Yeah. Throw up a metal detector.
13:16
>> Yeah. It's just crazy that they don't
13:18
check for guns.
13:19
>> That's wild.
13:20
>> On a day where it's like the president
13:22
is going to be there. You didn't check
13:23
for guns.
13:24
>> I get it if it's like a UFC sniper or
13:25
something. It's like we can't check
13:26
everybody like that. That's like 20,000.
13:28
But like this is so small.
13:30
>> They're saying he did shoot him, but I
13:31
don't that's this was the first
13:32
>> Secret Service agent did not shoot
13:34
himself. I don't think there's any
13:35
question what happened here.
13:36
>> That video they're playing is the AI
13:38
video.
13:38
>> Yeah, that's
13:39
>> Well, no. This is the real video which
13:41
is blurry and then AI they enhanced it
13:44
because this [ __ ] hotel is shitty old
13:46
cameras
13:47
>> which is crazy.
13:50
By the way, guy's putting in some
13:51
[ __ ] work there. There's some speed.
13:53
>> He's got wheels.
13:54
>> Yeah, he moves. That guy can move. Half
13:56
black, half black, [laughter] half
14:02
>> teacher. He can shoot. Teachers, you
14:04
know, they work at a school.
14:05
>> I mean, what did he think was going to
14:06
happen? He was going to get past all the
14:08
secret security guys, get through the
14:09
crowd, find Trump behind the stage, and
14:12
shoot him. Like, how did he think he was
14:13
going to get to him?
14:14
>> I think these guys don't think it. I bet
14:15
they go like, I'm going to shoot him,
14:17
then everyone's going to love me.
14:18
>> Yeah. They're going to be Luigi or some
14:20
[ __ ]
14:20
>> It might be schizophrenia, too.
14:22
>> Yeah.
14:23
>> Yeah. He might be out of his [ __ ]
14:24
mind,
14:24
>> but he lived, right? Right. He's in
14:25
jail.
14:26
>> Yeah, he lived.
14:26
>> The guy who shot Reagan was like, "Taxi
14:29
driver told me to do it."
14:30
>> Well, he rules. So, it's like all
14:32
>> I think he's out. Hankley Hankley's out.
14:35
>> He's playing music.
14:35
>> Yeah, he plays music.
14:36
>> I think we've covered this on [laughter]
14:39
terrible Manson songs.
14:41
>> Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. [laughter]
14:44
>> Yeah. He was inspired by Jodyie Foster.
14:47
>> Jodie Foster made him shoot. There it
14:49
is. I will be your man. Oh, that's a
14:52
threat. Oh yeah.
14:53
>> 2023 recent recent release. Can't we get
14:56
Let's hear 2023.
14:57
>> I like his job title.
14:58
>> Let's hear criminal.
14:59
>> I want to hear I will be your man. Let's
15:01
hear what Hinkley's what his jams are
15:03
like.
15:04
>> Pay for this.
15:05
>> We have to pay for that. No,
15:06
>> we have to edit that. We'll see.
15:08
>> Okay, we'll see.
15:08
>> Oh man,
15:09
>> he's got his name on the guitar. Just in
15:11
case you don't know who shot Lincoln,
15:13
[laughter and clears throat]
15:17
[music and singing]
15:19
>> shoot him.
15:25
[music]
15:26
[singing]
15:32
>> Oh yeah, he's trying to
15:33
>> MK Ultra.
15:34
>> I misunderstood.
15:35
>> That's what MK Ultra does to a man.
15:37
>> Yeah, he looks like his brain's been
15:38
washed.
15:39
>> Yeah. Like they just poured bleach in
15:41
his ears.
15:42
>> Yeah,
15:42
>> they're going to release MK Ultra files
15:43
this week, I think.
15:45
>> Yeah, I bet. [clears throat]
15:48
>> They were supposed to release UFO files.
15:49
>> A lot of Black Lines coming in that one.
15:51
>> Yeah. Whatever happened to the [ __ ]
15:52
UFO files?
15:53
>> Did he do Kennedy yet? Did Kennedy out?
15:56
>> No.
15:56
>> What? He
15:58
>> What? JFK?
15:59
>> Yeah.
15:59
>> Yeah. Turns out there's some stuff in
16:00
there that we couldn't see.
16:02
>> CIA.
16:04
>> Yep. Maybe some other ones.
16:07
Congresswoman Anapolina Luna Lanc's
16:09
house hearings on MK Ultra next month.
16:12
>> What is that? A gang?
16:14
>> No, I did seek.
16:16
>> You don't know what that is? That's the
16:17
mind control experiments that the CIA
16:19
did in the 1960s.
16:21
>> People going to hookers. Good honest
16:22
people going to hookers and they took
16:24
advantage of them.
16:25
>> That's one part of it. Yeah, that was
16:26
Operation Midnight Climax. They ran bro.
16:29
>> What a good name.
16:30
>> Great name. What a good name.
16:31
>> Solid name. Yeah, that's that's per
16:33
that's absolutely proven. That's
16:36
[clears throat] all from a Freedom of
16:37
Information Act request and from some
16:39
documents that they found.
16:40
>> What was the guy's [clears throat] name
16:41
that was like the head of MK Ultra?
16:43
>> Jolly West.
16:44
>> Yeah. And then he went and saw Jack Ruby
16:45
and
16:46
>> Yeah. Jack Ruby went crazy. Started
16:47
saying they're they're lighting Jews on
16:49
fire in hell. Like they gave him acid.
16:52
He's also was connected to Manson.
16:54
>> Yeah.
16:55
>> Like this guy was running mind control
16:57
operations all throughout the country.
16:59
>> Wow. They ran brothel where they gave
17:01
the John's uh acid and the the ladies
17:04
would come out and give the John's acid
17:05
and they would wash through a two-way
17:06
mirror and then film them.
17:08
>> Whoa. [ __ ] hell of a night at the
17:10
brothel, [laughter]
17:11
>> right?
17:12
>> So sick.
17:13
>> This ladies out
17:15
>> talking to me trying to get laid and
17:17
next thing you know you're [ __ ]
17:18
seeing Jesus.
17:21
>> Jesus is a candle.
17:22
>> You lean into it. [laughter] That's a
17:24
good night.
17:25
>> Trying to get a hooker you go.
17:27
If you lean into it,
17:29
>> Meanwhile, your wife's at home waiting
17:30
for the milk and bread to come back for
17:33
30 minutes. [laughter]
17:34
Just trying to get a hand. [ __ ] is he?
17:36
>> It's the worst lie ever. The CIA, they
17:38
drug me. What do you want?
17:40
>> How many marriages would completely
17:41
dissolve if prostitution was totally
17:43
legal?
17:46
>> It'd be a lot easier to do.
17:47
>> Are they talking? That's the thing.
17:49
>> Are the the hookers talking?
17:50
>> No, but guys are bad at covering up.
17:52
>> It's like Uber ratings, you know?
17:54
>> Oh, that would be
17:54
>> You know what I'm saying? Like some Uber
17:56
drivers, they won't shut the [ __ ] up.
17:57
They won't
17:58
>> want to see my passenger score.
17:59
>> Yeah. I don't want an XL either.
18:02
[laughter]
18:02
>> [ __ ] it.
18:04
>> For prostitutes,
18:05
>> you know, but I mean if they if they
18:06
made prostitution completely legal and
18:09
then they had scores.
18:10
>> Do you don't think gals would do it?
18:12
>> I think they would. I think there'd be
18:13
plenty of gals that would sign up.
18:15
Plenty of
18:16
>> prostitution was only And it's illegal.
18:19
>> How so? Oh, yeah. They are.
18:21
>> Of course, if you took down the
18:22
barriers,
18:23
>> they would keep doing it. Isn't it legal
18:25
in New York City now?
18:27
>> Kind of.
18:28
>> I've never been caught.
18:29
>> What is the [laughter]
18:30
>> How many guys are you blowing,
18:32
>> [ __ ] I WAS A GUEST IN this
18:35
right there.
18:35
>> Yeah, it was a lab [clears throat] in
18:37
that beard.
18:37
>> Right there. Um, but they did do
18:39
something where they like decriminalized
18:41
sex work in New York.
18:42
>> Yeah, I think you're right. Yeah,
18:44
>> let's find out. J,
18:46
>> sex work. I love when they rename that.
18:49
>> They always have unhoused sex.
18:51
>> It's sex work until one of them is
18:52
[ __ ] your husband, then it's a
18:53
hooker. Exactly. And if you call a girl
18:55
a [ __ ] she gets mad. Like, which one
18:57
is it?
18:58
>> Sex worker.
18:59
>> Call a girl sex. You're a [ __ ] sex
19:01
worker. Hey, that's a legitimate
19:02
profession.
19:03
>> That it's a pretty funny way to do it.
19:04
[clears throat]
19:05
>> Prostitution is illegal in New York
19:06
City, but enforcement and politics
19:07
around sex work are in flux.
19:11
>> Active debates about decriminalization
19:14
and new protections for sex workers and
19:16
trafficking survivors.
19:18
>> Anyone else?
19:18
>> Well, that's kind of crazy, isn't it? if
19:20
you have protection for the survivors.
19:22
So, you're saying that they're victims,
19:24
but then you're also decriminalizing it.
19:26
>> So, you're making it okay to do, but
19:28
you're saying that they're victims.
19:30
>> No. And and like when it's where it is
19:32
legal, they go like no one's going to
19:34
abuse you cuz you can go you don't need
19:35
a pimp in public here. Probably should.
19:38
>> That's Well, listen, if you can give
19:40
someone a massage, you should be able to
19:42
jerk them off, which doesn't make any
19:43
sense. Got that right, Robert.
19:46
[laughter]
19:46
>> Poor guy. Old bastard.
19:48
>> I met that guy. You can't help think
19:50
about that when you're shaking his hands
19:51
like [laughter] I'm sorry they got you,
19:53
sir.
19:55
>> Sorry they got you. Just a normal thing.
19:57
>> It happened to so many people.
19:58
>> 100%. They set him up.
20:00
>> He wasn't even getting laid.
20:01
>> No, it's handy.
20:02
>> And he's like,
20:04
>> I never got a massagey.
20:05
>> Me neither.
20:07
>> Every single massage I got, I've been
20:08
like,
20:08
>> you should have responded to those empty
20:10
emails.
20:11
>> There's an app for it now called uh Tug
20:13
or something. [laughter]
20:14
>> I don't think so.
20:15
>> Don't ruin it for everybody else on
20:17
TugU.
20:17
>> Get on it. Somebody told me how to
20:19
figure out which one of the hand job
20:20
places which one are real. Epstein told
20:22
me he goes uh
20:23
>> you know no a no guy Epste. Yeah. And he
20:28
[laughter] goes you know the ones with
20:29
like locks on the door. He goes that
20:30
there's no business doesn't want you in
20:32
there.
20:33
>> If you have to buzzed in they're like
20:35
hold on stop jerking. There's a cop
20:36
there.
20:37
>> My friend goes on a lunch break. Like
20:39
it's pretty popular in New York.
20:40
>> People are totally When I moved to
20:42
Philly, every single person was like
20:43
yeah that's normal.
20:44
>> Totally normal.
20:44
>> So are the girls gross?
20:46
>> They're Asian. There's there's I think
20:48
there's a range
20:49
>> and sometimes you get like a Ukrainian
20:51
skank.
20:53
>> Nice. [laughter]
20:54
>> [ __ ]
20:56
Could you imagine though skank you are?
20:58
Have some respect for yourself. [ __ ]
20:59
>> How many relationships would just
21:01
completely dissolve if prostitution was
21:02
100% legal?
21:04
>> I think I'll tell you in Thailand it
21:05
pretty much is. And girls [ __ ] on the
21:07
first date.
21:09
>> Date. You taking them out?
21:10
>> No, not those regular girls. Cuz like if
21:12
I make you wait, you're just going to
21:13
get a hooker.
21:14
>> Really?
21:15
>> So like I better put out.
21:16
>> Wow. I like that competition. They seem
21:18
a little looser sexually anyway in
21:21
Thailand, you know, with the whole lady
21:23
boy thing and
21:24
>> they're pretty chill with everything.
21:25
>> Yeah, they're pretty relaxed except for
21:27
kicking the [ __ ] out of people. They're
21:29
really good at that.
21:30
>> They're really good at that.
21:31
>> They're really It's weird weird like a
21:32
laid-back society is so good at [ __ ]
21:34
people up with martial arts.
21:35
>> You ever look at lady boys using their
21:37
training
21:38
>> like before they turn into full lady
21:40
boys?
21:40
>> Pull it up.
21:41
>> They train kickboxing.
21:42
>> What? Lady boys do Muay Thai too
21:44
>> when they were younger.
21:44
>> God damn. There was one famous one who
21:47
transitioned to a woman but kept
21:48
fighting men and started getting [ __ ]
21:50
up
21:51
>> because now she didn't have any hormones
21:53
anymore or balls
21:55
>> and so she's just getting the [ __ ]
21:57
kicked out of her as a girl when she was
21:58
dominating as a guy.
22:00
>> Wow.
22:00
>> Kind of sad. Like the one thing that
22:02
you're really good at
22:03
>> other than sucking guys dicks
22:05
>> is uh [ __ ] people up.
22:07
>> No, you can't do that.
22:09
>> No, I meant [clears throat] on the
22:10
streets.
22:10
>> See, that's a guy by the way.
22:11
>> I mean on the streets. Oh,
22:13
>> is it?
22:14
>> Yes, that's a guy. I'm right. That's a
22:16
guy. That's a guy dressed like a girl.
22:18
>> No, I meant on the streets. Like if you
22:19
pick on one of the streets, they all
22:21
come after you, but then they use their
22:22
training.
22:22
>> Oh, yeah. They gang up and kick the box
22:24
the [ __ ] out of you and you're like, I
22:26
just wanted to beat up a hooker.
22:28
[laughter] Why are these half men coming
22:30
at me?
22:31
>> These dainty, dainty men. [laughter]
22:33
>> All right, you need a drink.
22:34
>> I got one.
22:35
>> Oh, okay. Sorry, boys.
22:37
>> Hey, we're backd
22:41
>> all over Latin America. Anytime I got
22:43
recognized, they'd be like they'd be
22:45
like, "When are we going to get another
22:46
projectile park?" I'm like, "I'm not
22:48
really in the area right now. [laughter]
22:50
As soon as I'm out of Uruguay, I'll I'll
22:51
let them know."
22:53
>> Yeah. I would get questions from people.
22:55
It was always that.
22:57
>> When's the next Protect Our Parks?
22:59
>> Anytimes I run into someone somewhere
23:01
>> globally, too. Australia, I got it. New
23:03
Zealand, I got it. It's all over.
23:05
>> It is fun though when somebody like last
23:06
week somebody's like, "When's the next?"
23:07
I was like, "April 30th." And they're
23:09
like, "What?"
23:11
>> I'm like, "Keep it quiet." Yeah,
23:12
[laughter]
23:13
>> I did that. Yeah, it's very fun.
23:16
>> The world needs us.
23:17
>> Oh yeah, it's good to be back.
23:19
>> Goofy ass fake [ __ ] world out there.
23:22
>> Can't believe how many we've done.
23:23
>> Cannons.
23:24
>> Can we [clears throat] got that going
23:26
for us?
23:26
>> I wonder I want to talk to that guy. I
23:28
want to find out what really happened.
23:30
>> Interview that Indian fell. So
23:31
apparently they're saying he got fired.
23:33
Is that what the story is, Jamie? He got
23:34
fired then he just made up.
23:36
>> You can't just make a public post that
23:37
your your boss tried to [ __ ] you
23:39
anymore?
23:39
>> Not anymore. It all changed.
23:42
>> I think like it was a lawsuit that was
23:44
filed. I don't I'm not saying that the
23:46
lawsuit is fake. Like he But they're
23:47
just saying that it's horseshit is what
23:49
people are saying.
23:50
>> Does the lady still work there?
23:52
>> I [clears throat and snorts] believe
23:52
what I read was that JP Morgan
23:54
investigated, didn't find it credible,
23:56
and she still works there. Yeah.
23:58
>> That doesn't seem a guy.
24:00
>> If it was a guy, I don't
24:02
>> We're going to put you on leave while we
24:03
look this.
24:04
>> 100%. Interesting.
24:06
>> 100%.
24:06
>> And then like Trevor Bower like, "Oh, he
24:08
found out it's fake. Like, can I get my
24:09
job back?" They're like, "Nah, Trevor,
24:11
>> he works for the Long Island Ducks."
24:12
>> Trevor Bower is a Sai Young, the highest
24:15
award for a pitcher. He got some chick
24:19
>> pretty much told all our friends like,
24:20
"I'm going to go get money out of that
24:21
guy."
24:21
>> Yep. We got the text messages.
24:23
>> Yeah, he kind of proved it all. But
24:25
Dodgers, was it Dodgers? I don't
24:27
remember. Was like, "Hey, you can't work
24:28
here anymore."
24:30
>> Brewers.
24:31
>> Brewers.
24:31
>> No, I don't remember.
24:32
>> Moved to Japan.
24:33
>> Moved to Japan. Try to pitch there. And
24:34
he's like, "I'm good." But he told MLB,
24:36
he goes, "I'll pitch for free and I'm a
24:38
SA young winner." And everyone's like,
24:40
"Ah,
24:41
>> that's crazy.
24:41
>> Lost 300 million."
24:42
>> Yeah.
24:43
>> Now he's playing for the miners in Long
24:45
Island.
24:45
>> He loves playing.
24:46
>> Oh my god.
24:48
>> Yeah.
24:48
>> And what happened to her?
24:50
>> I think she got like a slap on the
24:52
wrist.
24:52
>> Yeah. I think she was like he was like,
24:53
"Don't come after me anymore. Don't come
24:54
after anybody else anymore."
24:55
>> That's it.
24:56
>> She did photos with black eyes. She got
24:58
makeup done. He beat me up. He beat the
25:00
[ __ ] out of me. It was all made up.
25:02
>> Crazy story.
25:03
>> Monsters out there. Crazy.
25:05
>> But the crazier thing is like if you are
25:07
the if it is a Dodgers say it is to not
25:09
go, "Hey dude, we were fooled. I'm
25:11
sorry. Here's your contract back."
25:13
>> He should sue them for that.
25:14
>> How old is he now, though? He's lost
25:15
years of his career.
25:16
>> Yeah,
25:17
>> it's probably over, right?
25:18
>> Yeah,
25:19
>> he's still great. He just pitched a no
25:21
hitter. I mean,
25:21
>> really?
25:22
>> Playing against nine year olds.
25:23
>> That's exciting. [laughter]
25:25
>> In the minor leagues.
25:27
>> Um,
25:27
>> so how old is he, Jamie?
25:29
>> 35
25:31
private lawsuit that just happened.
25:32
That's crazy because like when it all
25:34
happened with him.
25:35
>> Yeah. He's 35.
25:36
>> He's 35 now.
25:37
>> It was about It was about eight or nine
25:38
years ago, wasn't it?
25:39
>> 20 uh
25:40
>> 2020.
25:41
>> 21 is when he was suspended.
25:43
>> 5 years ago was suspended. So he lost
25:45
his prime to 35.
25:46
>> That's prime.
25:47
>> Ruined his life.
25:47
>> He had just won the Sai Young.
25:49
>> He's just won it.
25:51
>> Brutal. God.
25:53
>> Oh my god.
25:54
>> So all she gets is a slap on the wrist.
25:57
>> Crazy.
25:58
>> Pretty much like go away.
25:59
She violated some part of the settlement
26:01
and had to pay him 300 grand.
26:04
>> Oh, great. That'll cover his [ __ ]
26:06
monthly whatever.
26:08
>> Yeah, the zen.
26:10
>> Jesus Christ.
26:11
>> That's a couple zins out of it. She only
26:13
She only got fined 300 grand. She cost
26:15
him 300 million.
26:16
>> Exactly.
26:17
>> Oh my god, that's crazy.
26:19
>> You whatever you accuse someone of if
26:20
it's fake, you should get that
26:22
punishment trying to
26:23
>> No, I completely agree. Yeah,
26:25
absolutely. That's never the case
26:27
though. Well, she can't play for the
26:28
Dodgers.
26:31
>> Who was he with? That's the thing that
26:32
bothered me about this. It was the
26:34
Dodgers.
26:35
>> When that happened, it was fake sports
26:36
fan.
26:36
>> Been on a bunch of teams, though.
26:37
>> Why did I think it was the Brewers?
26:38
Because of his last name,
26:39
>> Bower Bower Brewer. [laughter]
26:41
>> So, if he went to jail for it, that's
26:43
what she should go to jail for. Cuz if
26:45
she's accusing him of sexual assault,
26:47
>> he was uh I think she was just suing
26:49
him. Suing him and then public public um
26:52
>> whatever.
26:53
>> Destruction of reputation.
26:54
>> Yeah.
26:55
>> Oh my god, that's so awful. Poor guy.
26:57
You should have him on.
26:58
>> I would.
26:59
>> That'd be a great convo. Have me, son.
27:01
>> He's also He's also, I think, pretty
27:03
funny.
27:03
>> I bet he is, bro. You got to get a sense
27:05
of humor after that. If you survive
27:07
that,
27:07
>> you survive that, I bet you have a
27:08
wicked sense of humor.
27:09
>> Plan in Japan where they all have tiny
27:11
strike zones.
27:11
>> Yeah, that's one thing I think we could
27:13
all attest to.
27:14
>> It's not the only thing.
27:15
>> You survive a cancellation, you come out
27:17
on the other end just a little bit more
27:19
>> funny. A little funny. Nothing really. A
27:21
>> little more pop. A little more pop to
27:23
the punch line. [laughter]
27:25
He's throw He's throwing 102 in Japan.
27:27
[clears throat]
27:29
>> How many kilome an hour is that?
27:31
>> Kanye recovers from getting cancelled to
27:33
have the biggest concerts in human
27:34
history. [laughter]
27:35
>> Yeah. So,
27:36
>> standing on top of the world with
27:38
clouds.
27:39
>> Bill Cosby must be amazing right now.
27:42
>> He's blind though. He can't read his
27:43
notes.
27:43
>> Ah,
27:44
>> it's tough to read off a teleprompter.
27:46
Blind comic.
27:47
>> Well, I don't think he ever read anyway.
27:48
I think it was all in his memory anyway.
27:50
But
27:50
>> he I I don't even know if he writes if
27:53
he or if he just like sits down and
27:55
comes up with his stories cuz he's like
27:56
a story guy.
27:57
>> Yeah,
27:58
>> he is pretty good. I heard an album it
28:00
was like it really paints a picture but
28:01
then you're like then you listen to like
28:02
Kenisonson and you're like, "Oh, this
28:03
guy Cosby is very slow."
28:06
>> It's a different style. It's like
28:08
listening to, you know, John Denver
28:10
versus Metallica. You can't, you know,
28:12
>> solid comparison.
28:13
>> Yeah. You got to be in the mood.
28:15
>> Yeah.
28:16
>> Rocky Mountain High.
28:23
blast blasting it last night,
28:25
>> bro. That [ __ ] concert in Moscow.
28:28
>> Yeah, it's the best ever.
28:28
>> That is the greatest [ __ ] thing.
28:33
>> [ __ ] yeah. Norman, don't be scared of
28:35
the
28:35
>> be a loop of of that.
28:37
>> Fine.
28:38
>> That's fine. People haven't listen to
28:39
the song in a year. [laughter]
28:41
>> It's a yearly reminder.
28:42
>> We're going to close out with a live
28:44
freeird from 77. [ __ ] you. [laughter]
28:47
Uh,
28:49
>> did you get me a beer?
28:50
>> Here it is. Look at this.
28:52
>> Oh god,
28:52
>> we're doing it again.
28:54
>> Why'd you do that?
28:58
>> Imagine how pumped these people are.
28:59
Communism is dead for a little bit and
29:01
then Metallica's on stage.
29:03
>> It's so sad that rock is dead. It's all
29:05
>> We were talking about that.
29:06
>> Yeah, it's all queefy now.
29:07
>> When was the last time Where's the new
29:09
rock bands? The new Zeppelin's been
29:12
around for a while. Those smaller bands,
29:15
>> but where's the big ones? It used to be
29:17
Van Halen. It used to be the biggest
29:18
part of music. Rolling Stones,
29:22
>> AC/DC,
29:23
>> I know.
29:24
>> I mean, Aerosmith. It used to be the
29:26
biggest part of music was rock and roll.
29:29
What the [ __ ] That's kind of crazy.
29:32
>> Nice
29:32
>> bodega cat, ladies and gentlemen. Arrow
29:34
bullet. Fine. Bodeas all across
29:36
Manhattan.
29:36
>> You got that right, Fatty. Get a bottle.
29:38
But yeah, now it's country. Country is
29:40
huge now, which is fine. But what
29:42
happened to rock? I have no problem. I
29:44
love country. I have no problem with
29:46
country getting huge.
29:46
>> Yeah. What happened to rock?
29:47
>> What happened to rock?
29:48
>> Who are the biggest?
29:50
>> They said garage bands are coming back
29:52
with kids, which is kind of means nature
29:54
is healing. [laughter]
29:56
>> Yeah,
29:57
>> that's a good sign.
29:58
>> Yeah, kids are tired of playing video
29:59
games. Want something real. But the uh
30:01
the the thing about the that doesn't
30:04
make sense about rock music is everybody
30:05
still loves it,
30:06
>> right?
30:07
>> Everybody still plays covers it.
30:09
>> Oasis is doing giant arenas all over the
30:11
place.
30:12
>> I took I took acid at that Oasis
30:14
concert. Really?
30:15
>> We're fun. We're chill.
30:17
>> Chicago. Chicago.
30:18
>> I got MK Ultra.
30:20
>> Yeah. I was just watching the concert
30:21
like, "Oh,
30:21
>> how fun is this gone acid? It's the
30:24
best."
30:25
>> See, I haven't done acid since college.
30:27
I go shroom now.
30:28
>> Acid.
30:30
It'll get away from me.
30:31
>> Grateful Dead's entire career.
30:33
>> I see how it worked.
30:34
>> I mean, apparently, if you listen to the
30:36
dead on acid, it's a totally different.
30:38
>> They were playing to acid.
30:40
>> Yeah.
30:40
>> Like, they weren't playing for you to
30:42
not like it on acid. You're supposed to
30:43
like if hey you guys are on acid let me
30:44
entertain you for a second.
30:45
>> Yeah you're supposed to be on acid. It's
30:47
like those uh Iaska eco you listen to
30:50
them normally they're not that
30:51
interesting but if you jumping on DMT
30:53
they're pretty [ __ ] incredible.
30:54
>> I got some Roger W. We were doing a
30:56
podcast here me score and Bert and you
30:58
and you're like what are you doing
30:58
tomorrow? You want to stay? Roger Waters
31:00
is playing. I was like oh I got to this
31:01
is so funny. He's like I was like I got
31:03
to leave. He go why? I'm like uh yeah I
31:05
don't know but I'm like but my hotel I
31:07
have to check out tomorrow. goes
31:09
extended [laughter]
31:11
personal guest Roger
31:12
>> Waters change Ari's flight to the next
31:14
day and I was like yeah all right but
31:15
then it was like I got to find acid on
31:17
one day's notice
31:19
>> you got to shout out Roger Waters cuz he
31:21
was way ahead of everybody calling out
31:24
the genocide way ahead of everybody
31:26
doing it a long time ago
31:26
>> a long time ago calling out how they're
31:28
treating the
31:29
>> he really got kicked up
31:30
>> he's a little frosty with the heaves
31:32
though is he not
31:32
>> he got frosty with me
31:33
>> oh there you go [laughter] he got frosty
31:35
with you
31:35
>> he was living at me
31:37
>> that was We were [ __ ] with him. He
31:39
was on acid and he was [ __ ] with them
31:41
after the show. We were all hanging out
31:43
and Roger was drinking.
31:44
>> This was uh it was sober October.
31:47
>> We We had a one day permission to do one
31:49
thing. [laughter]
31:50
>> Exactly. Exactly. Exactly. Come on,
31:52
guys. I'll give you guys each a drink if
31:53
you let me do one one piece of paper.
31:55
>> I chose the devil's cabbage. I was
31:57
scared of the acid cuz who knows where
31:58
it came from. I'm like, "All right, I
32:00
got a business to run. I can't go crazy
32:01
right now."
32:02
>> I did some. Tony's ex did some. And I I
32:05
remember we were back at the hotel and I
32:07
was looking at this picture and I was
32:08
like, damn, this [clears throat] is a
32:09
crazy video.
32:10
>> Is full on weeping in the middle of the
32:12
concert.
32:13
>> Full on this is amazing.
32:16
>> This is amazing.
32:17
>> He came up and sat next to me and I'm
32:18
like, what's wrong with Arian
32:21
[laughter]
32:22
freaking out? I'm like, dude, are you
32:24
okay?
32:25
>> I was not okay.
32:26
>> He didn't even know what the dose was.
32:28
He just took whatever the guy gave him.
32:29
>> It was fresh. I had to let it dry in the
32:31
AC of the car over there. I'd hold it on
32:33
my bed and let it dry some
32:35
>> blotted.
32:37
Yeah,
32:39
>> it was so good.
32:40
>> See, that's the thing with that. You
32:41
don't know when it's going to end. You
32:42
don't know where it came from.
32:43
>> Also, you don't really know when it's
32:44
going to start. I took a little I took a
32:45
little and I was like, this shit's not
32:46
working. Give me another one.
32:49
>> That old move.
32:50
>> Oh boy. That old move.
32:51
>> I stared at a painting in my hotel room
32:53
for 12 hours.
32:55
>> Ruined their [ __ ] entire life by
32:57
doing that with edibles.
32:58
>> Yeah.
32:58
>> Gotten that second one. I don't feel
33:00
[ __ ] They take that second one and then
33:02
they can't escape.
33:03
>> This is how those stories start. Every
33:04
time you're like, maybe I'll take the
33:05
other half
33:06
>> and they roll right into schizophrenia
33:08
land. Hey,
33:09
>> in my early
33:10
>> Maybe your mom's not really your mom.
33:12
>> Early years of comedy, I pitched a show
33:14
and and Lionsgate picked it up
33:17
>> and I flew out they flew out to LA to
33:19
pitch the show to Netflix and Amazon. It
33:20
was the biggest deal of my life. And the
33:22
night before I did Tripoli show and he
33:25
gives you a bag of weed stuff, you know,
33:27
and I was like, I can't do weed. I'm a
33:29
wuss. I'm a lightweight. And he goes,
33:30
"Well, take some CBD." And I go, "Oh,
33:32
okay. I'll do that. I want to get some
33:34
sleep." So, I chugged a bottle of CBD.
33:36
And it was THC.
33:37
>> Oh.
33:38
>> I woke up. The bed was vertical. I was
33:40
hanging on to the the post. [laughter]
33:42
>> It felt like the carpet was sinking with
33:44
me. I was going to chair. I had to I
33:46
skipped it.
33:47
>> I couldn't go. It was too high. I was
33:49
high for like 14 hours.
33:50
>> Oh, yeah.
33:52
>> My manager's like shaking me like, "You
33:53
got to go." And I'm like, "I can't do
33:55
it. I can't face him."
33:56
>> Like,
33:57
so funny. You should have went.
33:59
>> I Oh god, I would have sold shoved my
34:01
hand up your ass and operated you like a
34:03
puppet. [laughter]
34:04
>> I would have made you go.
34:06
>> I would have sold like Duncan Trussell
34:07
show if I showed up. [laughter]
34:10
>> But I couldn't face him and he would
34:12
like I think they dropped me after.
34:13
>> Doug Duncan is the absolute best at
34:15
saying like [ __ ] around like he he
34:17
was going, "Hold on, I just got a text
34:18
from my wife's boyfriend. [laughter]
34:21
>> How's he doing?" Not good. Turns out
34:23
he's got syphilis. Poor guy. I hope he
34:25
gets better. just casual.
34:28
>> There's nothing worse than getting that
34:29
high though. Like McCusker McCusker used
34:31
to make weed gummies when we lived
34:33
together. He would make homemade
34:35
>> Wow.
34:35
>> He would like try to make it was crazy.
34:37
And then I'd just be sitting there
34:38
playing Xbox and he'd be like, "Here,
34:40
take some of these." And I'd just try
34:41
them out.
34:42
>> Uh, but one time he left, I did a show
34:44
at a casino outside of Philly. He gave
34:46
me a bag of gummy bears. Obviously, I
34:49
got [ __ ] hammered and I was just in
34:50
my hotel room just I ate them. I just
34:53
ate as many as I Did you know that they
34:55
were pot gummy bears or did you just
34:56
think
34:56
>> I did? I was hammered. I was like, "No,
34:59
I don't give a [ __ ] [laughter]
35:00
>> They're so good."
35:01
>> I just killed that [ __ ] hotel lobby.
35:03
That was great.
35:04
>> And then uh I woke up and it was in a
35:06
casino with no my room had no windows.
35:08
It was in the [ __ ] basement.
35:10
>> And I didn't know my buddy was also I
35:12
was like, "You sleep in my room." He was
35:13
on the floor. He was this kid that
35:14
opened for me in the [laughter] morning.
35:17
I woke up and I was still high as [ __ ]
35:18
And I was just like
35:21
[laughter]
35:22
in the darkness. I hear somebody like
35:24
Shane. I was like
35:28
something waking up to me is wild.
35:29
[laughter]
35:29
>> Wake up.
35:30
>> I was like who's there? Who's in here?
35:32
>> You remember the days where Joey Diaz
35:34
would have people in the church or
35:35
what's happening now and he would swap
35:36
out the 25 bills for 250s.
35:40
>> He did it to me. There's like a package
35:42
like this whatever and I see it. It says
35:44
25. I'm like, you [laughter] know what?
35:45
I'm a 10 guy, but when I'm with Dios,
35:48
I'll go 25. And then I ate it. But then
35:50
something nags in your head. You're
35:51
like, why was it 20? It was like,
35:53
>> why was it open? Why was it tilted a
35:55
little?
35:55
>> And then I was just like I kept talking
35:56
and I was like picked it off and you
35:58
just SEE 250.
35:59
>> OH,
35:59
>> LIKE JOEY,
36:01
>> YOU killed me.
36:02
>> Oh, you would give Leat 500s. We give
36:05
him two 500.
36:06
>> We just got Lee again on We did a 420
36:08
episode and Lee was like, "Oh yeah, back
36:10
to that
36:11
>> indie 500."
36:12
>> 500 milligrams.
36:14
>> It's crazy, dude.
36:14
>> Blows.
36:15
>> You know what's crazy? Jamo. Jamie can
36:17
do a,000 and it barely hits him.
36:18
>> Shut up.
36:19
>> Is that true? You have no body fat.
36:20
>> No, no, no. He's got some weird enzyme.
36:22
>> You got to go with a slice of pizza or
36:24
something, man.
36:25
>> Wow. Okay, fair.
36:26
>> Damn.
36:27
>> Yeah, it just doesn't work with his
36:28
spectrumy.
36:29
>> Yeah. Anything more than some brain, his
36:31
superb brain just shuts it off. Like,
36:33
nope, not interested. Bye.
36:34
>> Wow.
36:35
>> Mine does not, dude. If I take 10
36:37
milligrams, I'm like, "Oh, we're in it."
36:39
>> Same.
36:39
>> Well, the UFC's are always great. We
36:40
take like 50 in just [clears throat]
36:41
like 6 hours.
36:42
>> Well, you guys took acid in the UFCid.
36:44
[laughter]
36:45
>> We were up in the bat seat, so we took
36:47
acid and me, Red Band, and Diaz. And
36:49
then Rogan, it was kind of early on and
36:51
Rogan's like, "Where are you guys?"
36:52
We're like, "We're up there." And he's
36:53
like seeing us like, "Are you guys
36:54
flying?" We're like, "We're [ __ ]
36:55
dude." [laughter] He's like, "Where?" He
36:56
goes,
36:57
>> "Half of my day was thinking about them
37:00
being on acid watching these crazy
37:01
fights." So, it made me jealous.
37:04
>> It felt like fun. Forest Forest Griffin
37:07
came in and everyone's cheering. I'm
37:08
like, "Why are you cheering? You might
37:09
get hurt." Animals.
37:10
>> This is like 2005 then. This is early
37:13
days.
37:14
>> Imagine seeing Brock Lesnar on acid.
37:16
Terrified. She's a warrior. That guy,
37:19
>> bro.
37:19
>> Like a Viking.
37:20
>> You ever see his daughter?
37:22
>> His daughter's a champion shot putter.
37:24
>> What?
37:25
>> Bro, what' you say?
37:26
>> She's a [ __ ]
37:28
athlete.
37:29
>> Oh, shot put.
37:31
>> She throws that iron block. You think
37:33
>> he thought I was shooting a gun,
37:34
>> bro? She's a [ __ ] You got to see her.
37:38
>> Definitely related.
37:39
>> Watch [laughter] her. Yeah, 100%. Look
37:40
at those. But watch the video. So go to
37:43
get to say
37:44
>> see if you can find a video of her
37:46
talking [ __ ] Mark
37:47
>> she's a beautiful sturdy lady. Mark's
37:50
talking [ __ ]
37:50
>> I agree with Shane. I I have nothing but
37:52
respect for you and your family.
37:53
>> Is she albino
37:56
woman? I know you look at this pale
37:58
honky
37:59
>> bro. That's crazy. Imagine blowing your
38:01
shoulder out trying to [ __ ] throw
38:02
that thing.
38:03
>> Imagine her grabbing your balls.
38:05
[laughter]
38:07
>> Machi over the line.
38:09
>> Make a warrior with those jeans.
38:11
>> Yes. You're prop buffalo.
38:12
>> What's the mom look like? Huh? A dup.
38:15
>> She's just a
38:16
>> She's a She's a pro wrestler.
38:18
>> She's a [ __ ] Transformer. [laughter]
38:20
>> She's a bulldozer.
38:24
>> He's She's Optimus Prime.
38:25
>> Get the mom.
38:26
>> The mom is hot.
38:28
>> He got all She got all Brock's jeans.
38:30
THAT'S THE MOM.
38:32
>> Sable
38:34
W.
38:34
>> That's right.
38:35
>> Whoa. Sable was so hot.
38:37
>> That's what I'm talking about.
38:38
>> The puppies.
38:39
>> But bro, look at his jeans. Those jeans
38:41
dominate.
38:42
>> Nice cannons.
38:43
>> Those are Viking jeans. That's why
38:44
Iceland looks the way it is.
38:46
>> Viking jeans.
38:47
>> Oh, is that them now?
38:48
>> Yeah.
38:48
>> Oh, hell yeah.
38:49
>> She's 10 years older than them. She
38:50
looks stable.
38:51
>> She looks great. She's got a bit of a
38:52
bulge though on the right.
38:54
>> That's her hands are never really
38:57
risking it with
38:58
>> I love you, Brock.
38:59
>> Brock's going [laughter] to [ __ ] kill
39:00
you. Doesn't care.
39:02
>> Rock and roll. He's writing your name
39:03
down with crayons right now. [laughter]
39:08
>> He's got that sword tattoo right here.
39:10
just a real warrior.
39:11
>> Yeah. He said he got drunk and didn't
39:13
remember it and woke up. I was like,
39:14
"What the [ __ ] did I do?"
39:16
>> Yeah, right. You just regret it.
39:18
>> That's a lame tattoo. You just regret
39:20
it.
39:20
>> For sure.
39:21
>> For sure. Well, Steo's got a dick on his
39:23
forehead.
39:23
>> Yeah, but that's for fun.
39:25
>> Yeah.
39:25
>> He's got tattoos on a on an ATV.
39:28
>> He was on the podcast and it was like
39:30
first couple of minutes and I was like,
39:32
"Do you have a dick tattooed above your
39:34
eyebrow?" I said, "Yeah, what?
39:36
>> I've done his pod. I didn't notice
39:37
that."
39:38
>> Good impression. [laughter]
39:40
It must be new. I missed it.
39:41
>> It's pretty new. He was on He was on a
39:43
few months ago.
39:44
>> J Mo,
39:45
>> not even new jackass coming next month.
39:47
>> YEAH. LOOK.
39:48
>> OH, WOW. MAN,
39:49
>> what a lunatic.
39:51
>> Wow.
39:51
>> Yeah, I wouldn't recommended him.
39:54
>> Postalone tattooed tattoo artist.
39:58
>> Well, I don't think you have to be
39:59
trained.
40:00
>> Dick's got a quite a curve.
40:02
>> Are there rules?
40:03
>> Actually, he might he might actually
40:04
know.
40:04
>> Are there any rules as to like who can
40:06
do a tattoo? Yeah,
40:08
>> I don't think so. Or whatever and like
40:10
have a business. Yeah, but
40:12
>> you could just do it though.
40:14
>> Do one to your friends.
40:15
>> I saw fear. You could just do it with
40:17
pen.
40:17
>> Interesting.
40:18
>> Huh.
40:19
>> Interesting.
40:20
>> Steo's a good egg.
40:21
>> He's a fun dude.
40:22
>> Steo rules.
40:23
>> He's a fun dude.
40:23
>> Jackass rules.
40:24
>> New Jackass. I was so excited when I
40:26
heard it was like,
40:27
>> "Oh, they're doing another one."
40:28
>> June, bro.
40:29
>> He played a bunch of the scenes where in
40:31
Knoxville did too them all getting
40:33
concussions. And I was like, how I asked
40:36
Knoxville, "How many times you've been
40:37
out?" He's like, "At least 16."
40:39
>> Wow.
40:39
>> 16 times out cold.
40:41
>> It's funny when one of them gets like
40:43
Reddit wrapped for not going hard
40:44
enough. Like Knoxville did once, and he
40:46
goes, "Fine." That I'll step up and I'll
40:48
literally blow a ball off.
40:50
>> And then like and like Danger had one
40:52
where he's like, "I'll be the one this
40:53
time."
40:53
>> Knoxville always went so hard.
40:56
>> Yeah. It was It was bad. It was bad
40:57
feedback, but they were like, "You're
40:59
protecting your face too much." He was
41:01
like, "All right, I'll show you." I
41:02
asked I asked we man. And I was like,
41:03
"Who got PTSD this time?" He was like,
41:05
"England. England's [ __ ] forever now."
41:07
>> Oh, yeah.
41:08
>> What? Why? Cuz they put him in horrible
41:10
situations. I don't know. I'm waiting to
41:13
find out.
41:13
>> What, Jamie?
41:14
>> I'm talking about this one cuz the last
41:16
one they got him. I thought
41:17
>> No, they got danger last time. Bad with
41:18
the bear and [ __ ] where you could tell
41:20
he's like, "This is never going to
41:21
leave."
41:21
>> And the [ __ ] donkey in the one. That
41:23
was terrifying. Donkey kick.
41:25
>> He just walked up behind one. The goal
41:27
was to get him [ __ ] nuts.
41:30
>> He had to stand behind him.
41:31
>> Yeah. He's just behind him like shaking
41:32
and they're all making fun of him
41:34
>> and the donkey kicked him.
41:34
>> Yeah. Got him right in the ball.
41:36
>> Oh my god, dude.
41:38
>> They get into a room. He obviously knew
41:40
something was happening.
41:41
>> He knew something's up. He's He just
41:42
can't be
41:43
>> He looks great.
41:44
>> He does look pretty good.
41:45
>> Nice skin.
41:46
>> Handsome devil.
41:47
>> He's a handsome guy.
41:49
>> So he's in the room strapped to a table
41:51
like electric chair.
41:52
>> They're shocking him. He's like, "Come
41:53
on, stop. It's annoying, but I get it."
41:56
>> And then what happens?
41:57
>> They cover him in honey.
41:58
>> Oh, no. No, no, no, no, no, no. And he's
42:03
like, "What
42:03
>> is that? Meat?"
42:04
>> Yeah.
42:05
>> What are you doing? [laughter]
42:07
>> Relax.
42:09
>> THE [ __ ] HONEY'S IN MY EYE.
42:13
>> OH [ __ ]
42:13
>> Oh god. [laughter]
42:14
>> I love this. Oh [ __ ] That something's
42:16
opening.
42:21
[groaning]
42:22
>> Oh my god.
42:23
>> He's got a chain on the bear.
42:25
>> Uh uh. Keep watching it. [laughter] The
42:27
chain is probably just so they could
42:29
pull him off.
42:29
>> Stay calm.
42:30
>> Yeah,
42:31
>> stay calm.
42:32
>> Oh, he's going to lick him.
42:36
>> The chain is not attached to anything.
42:38
>> That's a good point. Chain's free.
42:40
>> Talk to it, Aaron. Try to calm it down.
42:42
Oh.
42:42
>> Oh, this is wild.
42:44
>> This is crazy.
42:44
>> Oh no.
42:46
>> Bear.
42:47
>> Are you really allergic to bees, Aaron?
42:50
>> Oh, he's trembling. [laughter]
42:54
>> And they shock him. little shocking.
42:56
>> I didn't even get the answer. [laughter]
43:00
>> No.
43:01
>> All right, we can't really watch.
43:03
>> Oh, is that like salmon?
43:04
>> Oh my god.
43:07
>> Yeah, I think so.
43:10
>> Oh, this is crazy.
43:12
>> HE'S SO FRIGHTENED.
43:14
>> OH, HE'S GOT THE PAW.
43:16
>> There's nothing more in there.
43:18
>> There is though.
43:18
>> There's nothing more in there.
43:20
>> That's not so bad.
43:21
>> What if you just
43:24
Uh, you see his pants get wet.
43:26
>> They [ __ ] with him real bad though.
43:28
This was
43:30
>> Get him out. Get him out.
43:31
>> So, it's a trained bear
43:32
>> sort of though. But it's a bear.
43:34
>> Yeah.
43:35
>> Yeah.
43:35
>> You know what's nice is Bam. They let
43:37
Bam back in the group.
43:38
>> Oh, good.
43:38
>> Oh, really?
43:39
>> He's in the next one.
43:40
>> Heard skating again.
43:41
>> Yeah.
43:42
>> Yeah. It's It's getting there.
43:44
>> So, what happened to him? He just went
43:45
off the rails. Drugs, pillows, pills,
43:48
>> Philly stuff.
43:49
>> Now he's back.
43:50
>> He's back. Come back. Let's go.
43:52
>> Bam rules. There's a video there's a
43:54
video I saw and it was like uh asking
43:56
all the jackass people who can skate and
43:57
people like oh we man's pretty good and
43:58
then someone's like no danger's pretty
44:00
good and it just starts the Ky scoring
44:02
it's BAM
44:03
>> and then John Knoxville was like I can
44:04
go to Ali like it's Bam
44:06
>> I met him I met him a bunch when I was
44:09
going to college
44:09
>> really yeah I went to college in
44:11
Westchester where they all were
44:13
>> so like yeah you'd see him around town
44:15
he was just the nicest
44:16
>> Yeah
44:16
>> he was always just the man
44:17
>> he owned that town huh
44:19
>> yeah purple Lambo you'd see it be it'd
44:22
be at the [ __ ] Waw wa. You'd be like,
44:24
"Holy [ __ ] Bam's here." [laughter] Holy
44:26
[ __ ]
44:26
>> Holy.
44:27
>> With his eyeliner.
44:28
>> Yeah. I drove by uh Castle Bam. This I
44:31
You know the house they have?
44:32
>> It was right where I lived when we were
44:33
filming tires. I lived right next to it
44:35
and I would
44:35
>> occasionally just drive over and look at
44:37
it.
44:37
>> Yeah.
44:38
>> Damn.
44:38
>> Every kid's dreams skateboard [ __ ] in
44:40
the back.
44:41
>> Some trick that was off a bridge onto a
44:43
moving bus and then off the bus on the
44:45
road.
44:46
>> I think you're thinking of the video
44:47
game.
44:48
>> Oh, I love the game.
44:50
>> Maybe, but no, this was real. Bam's dad
44:53
got [ __ ] pretty hard though.
44:54
>> What happened?
44:54
>> Well, he would just punch him in the
44:56
face. Phil,
44:58
>> he would just wake him up and just start
44:59
punching him in the face.
45:01
>> It was great.
45:02
>> Sweetest man on the planet.
45:03
>> Come on, man. Cut it out. I'm sleeping.
45:04
CKY [ __ ]
45:05
>> crazy that those guys did that for so
45:08
long.
45:08
>> Oh, yeah.
45:09
>> Like that seemed like a thing you could
45:10
only do like once.
45:12
>> Hell, they're still going.
45:13
>> One of the first the first places I ever
45:15
did stand up and hosted my own show was
45:17
his bar in Westchester.
45:18
>> Wow.
45:19
>> The note.
45:20
>> Like, how old are they? Like how old is
45:21
Steo?
45:23
>> He's got to be 50.
45:24
>> Yeah.
45:25
>> 50.
45:26
>> Here. Look with a
45:30
>> What are you going to do to him?
45:31
>> Oh,
45:32
>> oh, the dad finally gets his revenge.
45:34
>> He He's hiding behind the door.
45:38
>> I thought he was going to beat him up.
45:39
>> Yeah,
45:40
>> that's all right. Yeah, Jackass rules.
45:41
>> Yeah, Jackass is the best. It's the best
45:43
comedies.
45:44
>> That was a It's
45:46
>> just crazy that those guys made a career
45:47
doing that.
45:48
>> Yeah. became famous just [ __ ] each
45:50
other up.
45:50
>> We all copied them. I Me and my friends
45:52
were outside filming us jumping into
45:54
trees off the roof and [ __ ]
45:56
>> It was We all were like, "This is the
45:57
coolest thing ever."
45:58
>> They all had to be They were the first
45:59
ones to be like, "Don't do this."
46:01
>> Anyway, that's the legal part. No, watch
46:04
it.
46:04
>> This shit's fun.
46:06
>> We're having a blast, though. You should
46:07
try it, but don't do it legally.
46:09
>> Yeah. How is the new Fear Factor? I know
46:12
Fear Knoxville's hosting.
46:14
>> I haven't seen it.
46:15
>> Knoxville. Yeah. He came on to promote
46:17
it.
46:17
>> Yeah. hosting the new Fear Factor. It's
46:19
very nice. I love Jackass [laughter] so
46:21
much.
46:22
>> Yeah, me too.
46:22
>> He's a good dude. Johnny Knoxville is a
46:24
really nice guy.
46:25
>> Coolest.
46:26
>> Yeah.
46:26
>> Although his dick is broken. That sucks.
46:28
>> I think it's fixed.
46:29
>> Oh, great.
46:30
>> I think they fix that nowadays.
46:31
>> Just a pumpkin up stem cells.
46:33
>> [ __ ] everyone's getting them.
46:34
[laughter]
46:35
>> I got him.
46:36
>> Everyone's getting dicks these days,
46:37
dude.
46:37
>> Wait, you got stem?
46:38
>> Yeah.
46:39
>> Whoa. What does that mean?
46:41
>> Well, I don't know. It's been one day. I
46:42
don't know.
46:42
>> How do you feel?
46:43
>> Feel fine.
46:44
>> Did you see that thing that I sent you
46:45
today?
46:45
>> No.
46:46
>> I sent you an article there. this where
46:48
this video this ladies are saying that
46:49
the the one operation that has the least
46:52
amount of success and is the most
46:53
unnecessary is meniscus operations.
46:56
>> I had one too.
46:57
>> I couldn't walk though. What do you
46:58
mean? I had to do it.
46:59
>> They said rehabilitation is better. Like
47:01
keeping the tissue in there and
47:03
rehabbing it is better than having it
47:05
removed.
47:06
>> Interesting.
47:06
>> Yeah. I don't know.
47:08
>> I had I had mine removed on my left leg.
47:10
>> Yeah.
47:11
>> But it does [ __ ] with me more than my
47:12
right leg.
47:13
>> And what' you have on the right leg?
47:14
Just I have a tear, a miniscus tear, but
47:16
I just stem cellled. Yeah, it
47:19
>> I to I tore it doing a kicking contest
47:21
with Joe Schilling.
47:23
>> Whoa. With jeans on.
47:25
>> You're a jackass. [laughter]
47:26
>> Jeans. Totally jackass.
47:28
>> We were He just wanted to see who could
47:29
kick harder. Like he heard I kick really
47:31
hard. He's a world champion kickboxer.
47:33
So he wanted to kick this thing and he
47:34
wanted me to kick it. I did it with
47:35
jeans on.
47:36
>> What did you do? The bag of the
47:37
>> RTO. We have this machine in the bag.
47:40
You hit it and it shows you like
47:41
>> to throw your miniscus on that cuz you
47:42
[ __ ] rocked that thing
47:44
>> with no warm up at all at 52 years old.
47:47
[laughter]
47:48
>> Just [ __ ] slammed it.
47:49
>> Joe Shelly came in 3 hours early and
47:51
stretching.
47:52
>> No, he didn't. He did no warm up either.
47:54
>> That would be a great jackass. Joe Rogan
47:56
kicks you.
47:58
>> He had Butterbean punch him. It's the
48:00
hardest thing to watch, too, cuz he was
48:01
already rocked and [ __ ] up and then
48:03
Butterbean put him out
48:04
>> and they're in like a target or
48:05
something. [laughter]
48:06
or something.
48:07
>> They have the crazy the extra level
48:09
though is like it's not just somebody,
48:10
it's Butterbean punching you or it's not
48:12
just taking a slapshot. It's somebody
48:13
from the Predators [ __ ] slapshotting
48:15
it out your face. [groaning]
48:17
>> Oh, that's right. He had Francis and
48:19
Ghano punch him in the balls.
48:21
>> The cup test.
48:22
>> Guys, this kept telling him like like a
48:24
fighter's going to come today and they
48:25
didn't tell him it was Francis.
48:26
>> Oh my god. Hilarious.
48:28
>> Oh my god. Oh, there he is.
48:31
>> This is This is bean. I This is too far.
48:34
Oh, I can't watch that.
48:35
>> Yeah, you can. Watch it. Let's watch it.
48:36
Watch this.
48:37
>> And Francis doesn't even hold back.
48:41
>> OH, I MEAN, THAT'S GOING TO RUIN your
48:43
junk.
48:44
>> Oh, dude, that kind of pain is crazy.
48:47
>> That's a terrible cup. That's a shitty
48:49
cup.
48:49
>> No [clears throat] one should ever doubt
48:51
danger ever again.
48:52
>> WATCH THIS ONE MORE TIME.
48:54
>> OH MY GOD. He put all of his 265 lbs in.
48:58
>> The realization on his face when he when
49:00
he's like, "It's worse than I thought it
49:01
was going to be." And it's real,
49:03
>> bro. It's like getting hit by a car
49:05
right on your dick.
49:06
>> That's brutal.
49:07
>> Right. Look at the eyes change.
49:09
>> And the thing about those shitty cups is
49:10
sometimes those shitty cups hit your
49:12
nut. Like [laughter] the cup actually
49:14
your balls are kind of like poking out
49:16
the side a little bit and the cup slams
49:18
into your
49:18
>> It's also It's not They just got this at
49:20
Target on the way to this.
49:21
>> Yeah. Like it was fitted. They were just
49:23
like just give me one.
49:24
>> Real solid cup with a compression
49:26
shorts.
49:29
>> See, Gen Z or Gen Alpha will never have
49:31
a jackass.
49:32
>> You don't think so? No, I think those
49:34
but what about these streamers that keep
49:35
getting beat up?
49:36
>> Yeah, they're came up.
49:36
>> Oh, is that is that a thing?
49:37
>> Yeah, these streamers like picking
49:38
fights at people and getting [ __ ] up.
49:40
All right. All right. Yeah.
49:42
>> Yeah. There's a lot of streamers that
49:43
are getting that [ __ ] beaten out of them
49:45
>> in a good way.
49:46
>> Well, I mean they're getting they're
49:47
provoking people and occasionally they
49:49
provoke the wrong person.
49:50
>> They fight club it until somebody picks
49:51
a fight back with them.
49:52
>> There's this one with uh Tikki. Tikki
49:54
fought for the UFC. He's like a top
49:56
level trainer, manages fighters and this
49:59
uh streamer kid is in his face telling
50:00
him he's going to [ __ ] him up. And Tiki
50:02
Tikki's like, "Oh, really?" And he's
50:03
like, "Yeah, I'll [ __ ] you up for sure."
50:05
And then he like moves too close to him
50:06
and Tikki just cracks him.
50:08
>> Is that the elbow?
50:09
>> No, I think he punched him. I don't know
50:10
if he elbowed him or punched. It's so
50:12
hard to tell cuz it happened so fast.
50:14
>> Mhm.
50:14
>> But it's like the dude's in his And this
50:15
is a dude that this guy, watch this. And
50:17
he's got a drink in his hand.
50:20
>> Is it an elbow? Slow that down a little
50:21
bit.
50:22
>> That was right on the jaw.
50:23
>> That's It either is a punch or an elbow.
50:25
It's hard to say cuz it happens so fast.
50:26
Yeah, it's an elbow.
50:28
>> Drink. What did he say to him?
50:29
>> Nice elbow. You sure that was an elbow?
50:31
He said he was gonna [ __ ] him up.
50:33
[snorts]
50:33
>> Why?
50:34
>> He said he's gonna slap him. I'll slap
50:35
the [ __ ] out of you. Something like
50:36
that.
50:37
>> No. Is that just cause the Yeah, I
50:39
thought he's the wrong guy to [ __ ] with,
50:41
>> right?
50:41
>> Like Tikki is really good.
50:43
>> Tikki Masala.
50:44
>> He's big. I wouldn't even if he didn't
50:46
do UFC, I wouldn't walk up to him and be
50:48
like, "What are you going to do?" [ __ ]
50:49
>> Exactly. [laughter] Crazy.
50:50
>> He knew to drop it. He was like whiskey.
50:54
>> Well, that's probably why so calm until
50:55
the second. But he dropped it. He let it
50:57
go.
50:57
>> Drop and elbows.
50:59
>> Nice technique, too. One more time on
51:00
that. J.
51:02
>> That was a hook. The kids was like
51:03
really bad.
51:04
>> Well, the elbow's just as powerful,
51:05
dude. That's Especially coming out of
51:07
Tiki.
51:08
>> So, let's see what he says to him. He
51:09
said a bunch of [ __ ] to him.
51:12
>> I said straight up.
51:13
>> Are you the guy that got slapped on
51:15
video?
51:15
>> I did. But I'll slap the [ __ ] out you
51:16
though.
51:16
>> Oh, you were.
51:18
>> I'm going to show you the inside of the
51:20
house.
51:20
>> Make No, I'm making another clip.
51:23
>> Don't do that.
51:24
>> Seriously, don't do that.
51:26
Oh,
51:29
[laughter]
51:29
>> there's your
51:31
>> But these some of these streamers, man,
51:33
they make their whole [ __ ] career out
51:35
of doing stuff like that. He got up.
51:37
>> Who's that guy?
51:37
>> Wow, he got up.
51:38
>> It's hard to say what's going on.
51:40
>> Or is that the bouncer?
51:42
>> It's hard to say what's happening.
51:44
>> It is hard to say. It's not him that got
51:46
up. It's some other It's a girl or
51:47
something.
51:47
>> Well, I think he probably got up, too,
51:49
because I see the black jacket. It's But
51:51
it seems like he ran in there. That's
51:53
him. ran ran there after him and threw a
51:55
couple punches at him.
51:56
>> I mean, the fact that he took that is
51:57
pretty impressive.
51:59
>> I would have gone night night.
52:01
>> Yeah, but you wouldn't you wouldn't have
52:02
been there.
52:03
>> I wouldn't have been going, I'll [ __ ]
52:04
knock you out.
52:05
>> Never done that in the first place. The
52:07
whole thing is crazy.
52:08
>> I would be like, hey, he was talking
52:08
more [ __ ] on the way up.
52:09
>> But there's so many of these guys that
52:11
are picking fights. They're just doing
52:12
anything they can to get attention to go
52:14
viral.
52:14
>> Damn,
52:15
>> it's like a nightmare walking down the
52:17
street and someone's like, "What's up,
52:18
bitch?"
52:19
>> Oh boy.
52:20
>> Well, I'm going to look like a [ __ ]
52:22
I'm not going to do
52:22
>> I hate those. It's some guy with his
52:24
girlfriend at like at like Target and
52:26
they just start mocking him and mocking
52:27
the girl in front of him, forcing his
52:29
hand and dude, I'm just trying to shop.
52:31
>> I don't want to fight you. Who are you?
52:33
>> That's how people get shot.
52:34
>> Yeah, for sure.
52:35
>> Yeah. You do it in the wrong place. It's
52:37
terrible.
52:38
>> But it's just these kids today, like
52:40
there's so many of them that are just
52:41
trying to get famous. Like the number
52:42
one thing that kids want today is to get
52:45
famous. You know, they used to like do a
52:46
list, what do you want to do when you
52:47
grow up? What are your goals? Like a
52:49
giant percentage of them are get famous.
52:51
>> That's true. What's up with that
52:53
clavvicular homo? You know what I'm
52:55
talking about? [laughter] That guy.
52:56
[clears throat]
52:56
>> I think he's the opposite of a homo. I
52:58
think his whole thing is looks maxing to
53:00
get chicks.
53:00
>> That sounds gay to me.
53:02
>> What is looks maxing?
53:04
>> Well, one of the things he does
53:05
apparently hits his face with a hammer
53:07
to put micro micro breaks in his face to
53:10
make his jaw trans. You're just mantoman
53:12
trans.
53:13
>> There you go.
53:14
>> Oh, manto man trans.
53:15
>> Yeah. You've just altered your looks to
53:17
make yourself more abender.
53:19
>> Wow.
53:19
>> Yes.
53:20
>> Interesting. Gender affirming.
53:22
Le tits then. Is that trans for girls?
53:24
>> Yeah,
53:25
>> let's do it. Absolutely.
53:26
>> I like it.
53:26
>> No, don't take fake tits.
53:28
>> All right, leave fake tits. But you
53:29
can't [ __ ] make us You can't be It's
53:30
gender affirming. If you're like men
53:32
look this way, then you're like, "All
53:34
right, so there's a [snorts] separate."
53:35
It's like you can be something you're
53:36
not.
53:38
[sighs]
53:39
>> He gets laid though.
53:40
>> I'm sure. [clears throat]
53:40
>> Oh, I'm sure he does. He's a handsome
53:41
fellow.
53:42
>> He's very handsome. He's handsome, but
53:43
he's like apparently he does meth and he
53:45
Yeah, he talks about it because like he
53:47
finds it better than Adderall for
53:48
controlling his appetite. [laughter]
53:51
That'll do it. Like this is the thing
53:53
like they want to be lean.
53:54
>> The wheels are going to come possible.
53:56
You can't do meth but
53:58
>> entertaining. It's better than aderall
54:00
for control. How about just self-will?
54:02
>> I don't overdosed the other day on
54:04
stream.
54:05
>> Easy. [laughter]
54:07
>> What do you overdose on?
54:08
>> I don't.
54:09
>> Which one is he?
54:10
>> They don't say.
54:12
>> That's him. Yeah, he is handsome.
54:14
>> It's a longer clip.
54:14
>> He's pretty handsome. So, what did he
54:16
just fall apart?
54:16
>> Oh, they took it off the camera, but
54:18
yeah, he's just like falling down a kh.
54:20
could be about.
54:20
>> You know what? I I actually saw this and
54:22
he was What was cool about was how nice
54:23
he was to everybody.
54:24
>> Oh,
54:25
>> like even while he's like
54:26
>> overdosing
54:27
>> overdosing, he's like people are coming
54:28
up. Can I get a picture? He's like,
54:29
yeah, yeah, yeah.
54:31
>> Molly
54:33
Molly.
54:33
>> He looks like he's having a good
54:34
>> definitely Molly. It could be Molly.
54:36
That may maybe why he's so nice to
54:37
everybody.
54:38
>> Yeah, that's not a Khole. I bet one of
54:39
those. You don't smile.
54:42
>> Oh [ __ ]
54:43
>> But is that overdosing or is he just on
54:46
it? That's why it's the clips are going
54:47
around saying overdosing again.
54:50
>> It's not overdosing.
54:51
>> Gesture maxing is so funny.
54:53
>> These terms look like a boy band mocking
54:56
and streamer. Everything is toxic and
54:58
dangerous. Look at that. Streamer looks
55:00
maxing culture is tough and culture.
55:03
>> What is culture?
55:04
>> What is gooning?
55:05
>> Gooning is a thing. We've had this
55:07
argument. What's gooning?
55:08
>> It's
55:10
masturbating to just really obsessing
55:11
over anything.
55:13
>> It's hilarious.
55:14
>> Okay.
55:14
>> Yeah. So like a stalker is gooning.
55:16
>> Could be.
55:18
>> I don't know if you're getting that
55:19
right. Double goon.
55:20
>> It just means like you obsess over
55:21
something which is like like
55:23
masturbation all the time. And that that
55:24
has become like obsession.
55:27
>> But I think it stayed with masturbation.
55:28
>> It's definitely just masturbating. It's
55:30
It's all It's basically just being as
55:31
horny as you can [ __ ] be. And it's
55:33
very funny.
55:33
>> All right. It is.
55:34
>> I've quite a bit in my day.
55:36
>> Yeah. Oh yeah. You're a gooner.
55:38
>> I'm a gooner.
55:39
>> Yeah.
55:39
>> All right.
55:41
>> What?
55:41
>> Can I get one of them beers?
55:42
>> Yeah. It's beer time. Feel like one of
55:44
those.
55:44
>> JOE ROGAN'S BACK.
55:45
>> YEAH.
55:46
>> EIGHT MONTHS off the sauce.
55:49
>> M moderation.
55:50
>> He went on a He went on moderation is
55:51
the key.
55:52
>> He went on a drink back in a drinking uh
55:54
withdrawal until Trump said he could do
55:56
mushrooms as well. And then he goes,
55:57
"Okay, [laughter] fine. Fine. I'll drink
55:58
it."
55:59
>> What was that like beating the oval off?
56:01
>> Pretty [ __ ] strange. The whole thing
56:03
was strange. How about sending him a
56:04
text message explaining everything to
56:06
him and him saying, "Let's do it."
56:07
>> Wow,
56:09
>> dude. Let's do it. And then the next
56:10
day,
56:10
>> I think that's his problem. He keeps
56:12
saying, "Yeah, let's do it." [laughter]
56:14
>> He's getting texts from BB. He goes,
56:15
"Yeah, [ __ ] it."
56:17
>> It always works out for me.
56:18
>> Shut down the straight. He gives a [ __ ]
56:21
>> He showed up at the UFC event. He shakes
56:24
my hand. He goes, "It's done."
56:25
>> What?
56:25
>> And then a week later, we were in the
56:27
White House with all the vets. All those
56:28
vets that had taken Iberane and saved
56:31
their life.
56:31
>> You should have had Okay, it's missed
56:33
opportunity. You should have had all
56:34
those vets and then a couple like
56:35
dreadlocked white guys who are also
56:37
like, "This is going to help me a lot,
56:39
too.
56:39
>> This is going to [ __ ] rule. I should
56:41
have had Duncan.
56:42
>> I should have had Duncan.
56:43
>> Duncan [clears throat] dressed like a
56:43
shaman. [laughter]
56:46
>> Everyone's going to benefit from this
56:47
>> with a hat on like you're wearing.
56:49
[laughter]
56:50
>> We should have wore that [ __ ] hat
56:52
with a suit behind the
56:54
>> president. Well, I had a suit jacket and
56:56
everything. I was prepared, but it was
56:57
in the other room, but he goes, "Come on
56:58
in the Oval Office." So, he brought me
57:00
in the Oval Office early.
57:01
>> You were not wearing a suit? I didn't
57:02
see
57:02
>> I had a jacket, a suit jack. I didn't
57:04
have a I was going to wear a tie, but I
57:05
hate ties. I said, "Let me just dress
57:07
like I dress at the UFC. It looks fine."
57:09
I wore my UFC [ __ ] outfit.
57:10
>> You were like Zillinsky in a tracksuit.
57:12
>> No, I had a nice button-up shirt, nice
57:14
pair of pants, nice dress shoes. I was
57:17
respectable, but I just wasn't wearing a
57:19
tie. And but I did have a suit jacket,
57:20
but it was in the other room. But he
57:22
dragged me into the Oval Office. Come
57:23
over here. Look at this. It looks so
57:24
beautiful. Now he's like showing me all
57:26
the new gold work. The Oval Office has
57:28
like gold everywhere now. It's like all
57:30
gold leaf everywhere. It's pretty
57:32
impressive.
57:33
Him.
57:34
>> Oh, he loves gold.
57:35
>> Definitely not the Persian.
57:36
>> Bin Laden loved gold. He loves it. He He
57:39
like loves doing up the Oval Office.
57:41
>> Shane and I took a tour in Oklahoma. We
57:44
took a tour of the White House
57:45
>> when
57:46
>> two years ago.
57:47
>> No, a year.
57:48
>> A year.
57:49
>> DC. No.
57:50
>> No. Trump years. He wasn't there. So we
57:51
got in, but they're like you can't go
57:52
into the Oval Office. We're like craning
57:54
our head in with like our feet just on
57:56
the outside like hold my hand like in
57:58
there. Saw the big Gulf of America post.
58:01
>> Oh, this is back. Yeah. He had literally
58:02
just had a map next to his desk that
58:04
says Gulf of America. You're like, damn,
58:05
[laughter]
58:06
>> it's a map of water.
58:07
>> God damn. Especially cuz you're like
58:09
walking through and you're like, damn,
58:10
Lincoln.
58:10
>> There's a lot. Look at all these cool
58:12
things. And then you see Gulf of America
58:13
next to the desk. You're like,
58:15
>> hey, [laughter] what is that really
58:17
gross bill that they just passed,
58:19
though? What is that FISA bill that they
58:21
just passed, Jamie?
58:22
>> Uh,
58:23
>> yeah. Something just happened where
58:24
every people are freaking the [ __ ] out.
58:27
Bill,
58:27
>> it's something
58:29
it has something to do with uh them
58:31
being able to look into all your private
58:33
communications without a warrant. Oh, I
58:35
don't like that.
58:35
>> Is there a new one? Someone told me that
58:37
every new car is going to have AI
58:39
testing to see if you're drunk or not.
58:41
And then they also won't abuse it
58:42
>> in 2027.
58:43
>> Bad news. Look at you while you're
58:46
driving to make sure that you're not
58:47
hammered to get video of you.
58:50
>> No more smoking joint drive.
58:52
>> Get an old car.
58:54
>> Get an old Mustang.
58:55
>> Is that a real thing?
58:56
>> Senate's likely to reject the House
58:57
pass.
58:57
>> Good.
58:58
>> Thank God. We should force him to reject
59:00
it. Jesus Christ. This is crazy. um
59:02
three-year extension of section 702
59:04
foreign intelligence surveillance act
59:06
that allows federal government to
59:07
collect communications of non-citizens
59:09
outside the US though it's often
59:12
includes communications with American
59:14
citizens
59:15
>> but then if they suspect you of it like
59:17
with Tucker Tucker was communicating
59:20
with uh Putin's people to do an
59:22
interview through signal
59:24
>> so they took his encoded is like so it's
59:27
all encrypted they took his encrypted
59:30
signal and They decrypted it. Someone
59:33
who knows this stuff explained it to me.
59:35
Said it cost about $600,000 to do that.
59:38
They said they can decrypt encrypted
59:41
messages. They just have to get the
59:43
data. So somehow or another, they got
59:44
the data off of his phone. They
59:47
unencrypted it and then they contacted
59:49
him said, "We know that you're meeting
59:50
with Putin." He's like, "How the [ __ ] do
59:51
you know?" They're like, "We read your
59:53
signal." And he's like, "What?" Like,
59:55
>> but he's like, "Yeah, I mean I am
59:56
meeting with him. I'm doing an
59:56
interview. I'm a journalist."
59:58
>> Yeah. Well, that was his position. But
59:59
it was also his position that he's using
1:00:01
an encrypted app. Like they unless
1:00:04
they're suspecting him of a crime, they
1:00:06
shouldn't be able to look at his
1:00:07
encrypted messages.
1:00:09
>> So like this idea that, you know, you're
1:00:10
sending things on signal and no one can
1:00:12
read them. I think that's [ __ ] I
1:00:14
think it's more difficult to read them.
1:00:16
>> So local cops are not going to do it if
1:00:18
you're just buying Molly, right?
1:00:19
>> That's not worth 600 grand.
1:00:21
>> Exactly.
1:00:22
>> Didn't Heg Seth [ __ ] get leaked too on
1:00:24
Signal? Remember that like a year ago? I
1:00:26
think that was because th those people
1:00:28
accidentally included a journalist.
1:00:31
>> So it was like a giant group of like 10
1:00:33
people or something like that and one of
1:00:35
them was a [ __ ] journalist,
1:00:36
>> these knuckleheads. And the journalist
1:00:39
just released all the text me. So they
1:00:40
were sending emojis after we bombed
1:00:42
Iran.
1:00:42
>> Here's a fun story today.
1:00:43
>> Wait, that guy
1:00:44
>> suicide note purportedly written by
1:00:46
Jeffrey Epstein weeks before his death
1:00:47
in jail has been kept secret for years,
1:00:49
locked up in a courthouse. That means
1:00:50
investigators scrutinizing his death
1:00:52
lacked what could have been a key piece
1:00:54
of evidence. last hour they're saying
1:00:55
there's a a note they found that just
1:00:58
>> there's a brand new note
1:00:59
>> just all of a sudden exists. No one's
1:01:01
just they haven't shown it or said what
1:01:02
it says. They're just everyone's not
1:01:04
reporting.
1:01:05
>> Well, how about the [ __ ] autopsy that
1:01:07
says that his prostate was unremarkable.
1:01:10
But meanwhile, he had his prostate
1:01:12
removed.
1:01:12
>> Oh boy.
1:01:14
>> There's a lot of people that don't even
1:01:14
believe he died.
1:01:15
>> I think he's alive. I think they just
1:01:17
face off him
1:01:18
>> and [snorts] he's living a good life
1:01:20
somewhere.
1:01:20
>> You just think changed him?
1:01:22
>> Yeah. I think that all the people that
1:01:23
all go to that stuff like don't worry if
1:01:24
we kill you then we're all worried about
1:01:26
ourselves. We're just going to relocate
1:01:27
you.
1:01:28
>> Israel.
1:01:28
>> Israel maybe.
1:01:29
>> That's what I heard from Mezer.
1:01:31
>> For Mezer. [laughter] It wouldn't be
1:01:33
Israel. He'd live somewhere like
1:01:34
>> Why would he live in Israel? That's a
1:01:35
place where he's most protected.
1:01:36
>> Be like Cambodia. True.
1:01:38
>> No, they'll kill him in Cambodia. You
1:01:40
got to live in Israel.
1:01:41
>> No, there's parents in Israel.
1:01:42
>> Of who?
1:01:43
>> People.
1:01:44
>> Yeah, but you know that's like the
1:01:45
number one place where like sex
1:01:46
offenders [laughter] go from America
1:01:48
that are Jewish that are in trouble.
1:01:49
Yeah.
1:01:50
>> Take anybody in. I didn't know that.
1:01:52
>> Yeah,
1:01:52
>> they take anybody in.
1:01:54
>> Especially Jewish people. They'll just
1:01:55
take you.
1:01:56
>> Wow. Jews have had a run. You get maid
1:01:58
off Weinstein. Thank you. Hell yeah.
1:02:00
Thank you.
1:02:01
>> The other guy.
1:02:02
>> Nice.
1:02:02
>> Hell of a run. You guys are
1:02:04
>> Cosby.
1:02:05
[laughter]
1:02:08
>> Yeah. Kind of proves Kanye's point a
1:02:10
little bit.
1:02:10
>> I don't love the uh the Kimmel [ __ ] is
1:02:12
annoying. Like the fighting with Kimmel
1:02:14
over the jokes. Like come on, man.
1:02:16
>> I mean, here's the thing about Adam
1:02:18
Collo had a really good point. He said
1:02:20
that joke. He said that joke on a
1:02:22
Thursday. On Friday, nobody gave a [ __ ]
1:02:24
because the Kimmel. He said a joke about
1:02:27
Melania. He made his own mock White
1:02:29
House press correspondents dinner and he
1:02:31
said Melania has the the glow of a woman
1:02:34
who's recently widowed.
1:02:35
>> Okay.
1:02:36
>> Just that's it.
1:02:37
>> It's an old guy joke like he's going to
1:02:38
die soon.
1:02:39
>> Yeah, it could be. Or an assassination
1:02:41
joke if you want to take it that way.
1:02:42
But he is old after the attempt.
1:02:45
>> No, before. So it's on Thursday. And
1:02:47
this is Caro's point. It's a really good
1:02:49
point. He said no one gave a [ __ ] on
1:02:50
Friday. It came out It came out on
1:02:52
Thursday. No one cared on Friday. No one
1:02:54
cared on Saturday until Saturday night
1:02:55
when the assassination attempt and then
1:02:57
all a sudden everyone's blaming Kimmel.
1:02:58
>> It's so funny that the right-wing turned
1:03:00
into the same [ __ ] [ __ ] [ __ ] and
1:03:02
the leftwing are the same [ __ ] It is
1:03:05
the same.
1:03:05
>> It's human behavior patterns. You could
1:03:08
call them left or right. I mean, this is
1:03:09
why the left supports war in Ukraine.
1:03:13
It's like the why the left supports
1:03:15
censorship. It's like the same patterns.
1:03:17
It's control. Control and power.
1:03:19
>> You want your side to win?
1:03:20
>> Yeah, 100%.
1:03:20
>> That's where they found the note.
1:03:22
>> Where?
1:03:22
>> Nicholas Tartagalone FOUND IT.
1:03:24
>> AH,
1:03:25
>> WHO'S THAT?
1:03:26
>> The guy who killed him. The [ __ ]
1:03:27
super jacked
1:03:30
>> contract killer cellmate that he had.
1:03:32
>> You know that story?
1:03:33
>> No. His cellmate was a [ __ ] super
1:03:35
jacked cop who killed drug dealers.
1:03:38
>> Yeah. Dude was a gorilla. I mean, [ __ ]
1:03:40
Show Ari a picture of the guy.
1:03:42
Tartagleon is this [ __ ] huge evil
1:03:45
corrupt cop. Yeah. Super Guinea. He's
1:03:48
like a roided up guinea.
1:03:49
>> Damn.
1:03:50
>> Get an image.
1:03:51
>> I'd like to see this cat.
1:03:52
>> Look at Damn,
1:03:53
>> bro. Imagine that guy's your [ __ ]
1:03:56
cellmate and sucks.
1:03:57
>> And he's killed four guys, four drug
1:03:59
dealers and contract killers.
1:04:01
>> What's he in jail for?
1:04:02
>> Murder.
1:04:03
>> Oh,
1:04:03
>> quadruple slaying.
1:04:04
>> He was in there for [ __ ] dogs.
1:04:06
>> No,
1:04:08
the picture. [laughter]
1:04:09
>> Dogs are all his buddies.
1:04:11
>> Cute dogs.
1:04:11
>> Cute little doggies.
1:04:13
>> He's a pretty good dog.
1:04:14
>> I told you he was kissing those dogs.
1:04:15
He's [ __ ] murdering people and then
1:04:18
they put him in the sale with with
1:04:20
Epstein and then he said Epstein tried
1:04:21
to kill him 18 days before he died. He
1:04:23
complained or excuse me he said
1:04:25
Tartagleion uh tried to kill Epstein.
1:04:28
Epste complained tried to kill him.
1:04:30
Yeah. But we tried to strangle him to
1:04:32
death.
1:04:32
>> Whoa.
1:04:33
>> And he found him they found him
1:04:34
unconscious and unresponsive.
1:04:36
>> McGra to break out of it. McGra say
1:04:39
[laughter]
1:04:40
whatever they do.
1:04:42
>> Whatever they do.
1:04:43
>> Yeah.
1:04:44
Crab mega hat. [laughter]
1:04:48
>> That whole Epstein thing is so crazy
1:04:50
that no one's gone to jail for that.
1:04:51
>> It's pretty surprising that they're
1:04:52
still not releasing it.
1:04:53
>> Here's crazy. No arrests. No, no, no
1:04:57
one's like being brought in. Meanwhile,
1:04:59
Comey is getting arrested for a photo of
1:05:02
seashells that say 8647.
1:05:04
>> He's getting arrested for that.
1:05:06
>> Yeah. What's 86?
1:05:07
>> What's 8647?
1:05:08
>> 86 get rid of President 47.
1:05:11
>> But you could say kill. But 86 is if you
1:05:14
get fired, what happened to Mike? He got
1:05:16
86, right?
1:05:17
>> It doesn't mean you got killed.
1:05:19
>> But this is a crazy thing to arrest
1:05:20
someone for.
1:05:21
>> Of course,
1:05:21
>> FBI arrested in Virginia, appears
1:05:24
briefly in court.
1:05:25
>> Well, they already like had it out for
1:05:27
him.
1:05:27
>> I know excuse a cra This is the problem
1:05:30
with these guys is it sets a crazy
1:05:33
precedent
1:05:36
precedent.
1:05:37
>> That's already That's the worst. Like
1:05:39
that's crazy. FBI like, "Oh, you went
1:05:42
after me." Well, now we're going after
1:05:43
you for nothing. It doesn't matter.
1:05:45
>> It's nuts. It's nuts. Like, you're going
1:05:46
after someone for something that's just
1:05:48
silly. 8647 is get rid of 47,
1:05:52
>> right? Speech,
1:05:53
>> but it's just like arresting a guy for
1:05:55
that is nuts.
1:05:56
>> Come don't play that.
1:05:58
>> Yeah. I mean, it's one thing like if you
1:06:00
have like a photo of him, like an AI,
1:06:03
you post an AI photo of him dead,
1:06:05
>> you know, with bullet holes in him.
1:06:07
Like, wouldn't that be nice?
1:06:08
>> I guess. But also,
1:06:09
>> but even that,
1:06:10
>> but even that's okay.
1:06:12
>> FBI director, not as a FBI director,
1:06:14
>> right? But he's a former FBI director,
1:06:16
so he's a private citizen at that point.
1:06:18
He'd already left the office.
1:06:20
>> It's crazy. Trump could take a shot, but
1:06:22
not a joke.
1:06:23
>> It's just retaliation for going after
1:06:24
Trump.
1:06:25
>> Well, it is, but it's like they're just
1:06:27
looking for any reason. But it just
1:06:29
doesn't seem It seems like there should
1:06:31
be other reasons. Like if the guy really
1:06:32
was dirty, you should have something on
1:06:34
him other than this seashell picture.
1:06:36
>> It's not. He just hates him and he's
1:06:38
using that.
1:06:39
>> I [clears throat] know, but it sets such
1:06:41
This was my thing when people weren't
1:06:43
upset about ICE people in the street
1:06:44
with masks on and no identification. I'm
1:06:47
like, this sets a crazy precedent. Yeah,
1:06:49
I understand you want the undocumented
1:06:50
criminals out of the country. I agree.
1:06:53
However, you're setting a precedent for
1:06:56
militarized people with seven weeks
1:06:58
training to be walking around with
1:07:00
[ __ ] weapons of war and flack jackets
1:07:03
with no ID and masks on. That's all I'm
1:07:06
saying. Like this is a slippery [ __ ]
1:07:08
slope you're going down.
1:07:09
>> Yeah, it's no bueno.
1:07:10
>> But then also they wouldn't have to be
1:07:12
there like that if there wasn't these or
1:07:14
there wouldn't be any conflict if it
1:07:15
wasn't organized paid for protests. They
1:07:18
paid people to protest. They paid people
1:07:20
because they had the [ __ ] all that
1:07:22
fraud in Minnesota. The reason why it
1:07:24
was in Minneapolis why the [ __ ] the
1:07:26
protests were strongest in Minneapolis
1:07:28
and organized cuz that's where all the
1:07:30
fraud was. That's where all the people
1:07:31
were getting caught. So they said,
1:07:32
"Let's diffuse this." and Mike Benz.
1:07:35
>> But it's not it's not you don't just
1:07:37
give Rando guns and go, "All right, they
1:07:39
went over they overstep. So here you're
1:07:41
seven weeks training. Go ahead, go
1:07:43
guns." They gave him $50,000 signing
1:07:45
bonus. So yeah, you get a $50,000
1:07:48
signing bonus. Joy. And by the way, a
1:07:50
lot of them lot of them Mexican. A lot
1:07:53
of them Mexican,
1:07:55
>> including the two guys that shot that
1:07:57
dude in Minneapolis. Both Mexicans. Got
1:07:59
to make my note. Excuse me. Hispanic,
1:08:02
Latino, had Latin names.
1:08:04
>> Oh, interesting.
1:08:05
>> I was at the airport in Philly and a ICE
1:08:07
agent was like, "Yo, my man, what's up?"
1:08:09
And I was like, "Yo, chill." [laughter]
1:08:12
What the [ __ ] Don't ask me for a
1:08:14
picture.
1:08:14
>> Do you see that Trump renamed it instead
1:08:16
of ICE? Now it's nice.
1:08:17
>> I saw that.
1:08:19
>> It's nice now instead of ICE.
1:08:21
>> So now you're protesting nice.
1:08:22
>> It's National
1:08:24
Immigrations, Customs Enforcement.
1:08:26
>> He's done it again.
1:08:28
>> Never mind. [laughter] Oh yeah, man. Our
1:08:30
leader.
1:08:31
>> That's funny.
1:08:31
>> He's a wild boy.
1:08:32
>> Still funny.
1:08:33
>> That is funny calling it nice.
1:08:35
>> Did you Is your thing about to go off?
1:08:36
Is that why you stop it?
1:08:37
>> I just realized I left my kid in a
1:08:38
Somali daycare.
1:08:40
>> I got to go pick him up.
1:08:41
>> He'll be fine.
1:08:42
>> Nice while I was gone. Did they go nuts?
1:08:44
>> No.
1:08:45
>> Yeah.
1:08:45
>> Well, you don't know about Alex.
1:08:47
>> Executed two citizens.
1:08:48
>> Good for you.
1:08:49
>> Boy, you've been gone, huh? [laughter]
1:08:51
>> But
1:08:51
>> killed two citizens.
1:08:52
>> Well, there's one lady that got killed
1:08:54
in a car because she was they were
1:08:56
trying to tell her to stay put. She was
1:08:58
protesting and [ __ ] with them and
1:09:00
then she drove when the cop tried to
1:09:02
step in front of her car. She's clearly
1:09:04
turning her wheel away from him. She's
1:09:07
not trying to run him over and he just
1:09:09
>> a cop or ice.
1:09:10
>> Ice guy.
1:09:10
>> Ice.
1:09:11
>> Yeah.
1:09:11
>> And he said [ __ ]
1:09:12
>> an American born citizen.
1:09:14
>> Oh yeah. Yeah. Fat lady. A crazy lady
1:09:16
who say anyone but Yes.
1:09:18
>> Yeah.
1:09:19
>> Lesbian
1:09:20
>> allegedly. Yeah. I mean the girlfriend
1:09:22
was there.
1:09:23
>> Do you believe in them though for real?
1:09:25
>> Oh yeah. She looked like a lesbian.
1:09:28
You don't think?
1:09:28
>> No, they seemed legit. [laughter]
1:09:30
>> She had a kid. She looked like Brock
1:09:32
Lesnar.
1:09:32
>> She She's a newly lesbian lady.
1:09:36
>> Okay.
1:09:36
>> Newly lesbian.
1:09:37
>> What was the backlash on that?
1:09:38
>> It was pretty bad. Yeah, pretty bad
1:09:41
backlash. And then this Alex guy that
1:09:44
did manage that one. The Alex Freddy guy
1:09:46
was not the Alex Prey guy was carrying a
1:09:48
gun and so he was open carrying or
1:09:52
concealed carrying and like phys
1:09:54
physically pushing cops
1:09:56
>> like it was kind of crazy. And then they
1:09:58
tackle him. They found out he's a gun.
1:09:59
This is where it gets crazy. One of the
1:10:01
border protections agents grabs the gun
1:10:03
and is taking it away. And unfortunately
1:10:05
the gun accidentally goes off. The gun
1:10:07
that he was carrying is called a SIG
1:10:09
P320 and it's notorious for accidental
1:10:13
discharges. So, this is confusing
1:10:16
because it's hard to tell because the
1:10:17
video is a little grainy, but most
1:10:19
people who are experts look at it say
1:10:21
that that at least that videos that I've
1:10:23
watched say that that gun accident
1:10:26
accident accidentally went off without
1:10:27
the guy touching the trigger. So, the
1:10:29
cop has the gun. The cops moving away
1:10:31
with the gun. They say he has a gun for
1:10:34
the ICE people.
1:10:34
>> The cops say he it's border protections.
1:10:37
It's not even ICE. It's a different
1:10:39
organization. So the border protections
1:10:41
guys are moving away with the gun. The
1:10:45
gun goes off and these guys think the
1:10:47
guy has another gun and then they start
1:10:49
shooting him and they shoot him and kill
1:10:50
him while they have him down. Right.
1:10:51
>> It's a rough video.
1:10:52
>> This is all my interpretation based on
1:10:55
videos. I I might not be accurate, but
1:10:57
I've seen the video. It does look like
1:10:59
the slide moves. It does look like the
1:11:01
sound of a gun going off corresponds
1:11:03
with that slide moving. And that gun is
1:11:05
notorious. Like if you look up Sig P320
1:11:08
online, accidental discharge, you'll see
1:11:11
tons of videos of these guns
1:11:13
accidentally go off
1:11:13
>> discharge.
1:11:17
>> I haven't had one of those in a long
1:11:18
time. I used to have them when I was
1:11:19
kid. The wet dreams
1:11:22
too early [laughter] been there.
1:11:24
>> That's why [ __ ] sick. Sorry.
1:11:28
>> [ __ ]
1:11:29
>> Let's talk for 20 minutes. Get back to
1:11:31
it in a second. [laughter]
1:11:34
>> Yeah. So, you missed all the ice, all
1:11:35
the fun.
1:11:36
>> Good for you.
1:11:37
>> But it's like the only reason why there
1:11:38
were violent people in the streets
1:11:40
protesting is because it was an
1:11:41
organized, paid for protest. They
1:11:43
actually physically paid people to be
1:11:45
there and protest. They gave them signs.
1:11:47
>> How do you get on that list to to get
1:11:49
paid for that?
1:11:49
>> You got to get on some wacky left-wing
1:11:51
newsletter. I don't know.
1:11:53
>> Still like,
1:11:55
>> yeah, you don't just put random people
1:11:56
in charge of people.
1:11:57
>> I mean, you do have to get rid of all
1:11:59
the cartel members and all the criminals
1:12:00
that came across the border. I mean,
1:12:02
they let more than 10 million people
1:12:04
into the country over four years.
1:12:06
>> America has a great way of like
1:12:07
overreacting to stuff. They're like,
1:12:09
"Oh, Saddam Hussein's a problem. Let's
1:12:11
go in there and kill a million people."
1:12:12
>> Yeah, America does that.
1:12:13
>> Yeah,
1:12:14
>> we we're like not the best people to
1:12:15
handle stuff and we're like still like
1:12:16
we should handle it.
1:12:17
>> You know who else does that?
1:12:18
>> Who?
1:12:19
>> Israel.
1:12:19
>> Blame everything on Israel.
1:12:22
>> I'm not blaming everything.
1:12:24
>> Yeah,
1:12:25
>> they're they're a part of it. It is
1:12:26
amazing how many high-profile Jewish
1:12:29
people just they have a opinion about
1:12:31
everything. But when it gets to this
1:12:33
like
1:12:36
>> Yes. [laughter]
1:12:37
They just avoid that or come up with
1:12:39
some random way to justify annihilating
1:12:43
an entire city.
1:12:44
>> Yeah. It's just funny to me when
1:12:45
Americans are like, "Hey, this other
1:12:48
country's overstepping."
1:12:49
>> Yeah, we bumped the twice.
1:12:51
>> Yeah, we were pretty a second.
1:12:53
>> Afghanistan, Iraq. These [ __ ] had it
1:12:55
really coming
1:12:56
>> twice.
1:12:57
>> The second one was just going, "Hey,
1:12:59
check this out. Russia."
1:13:00
>> Yeah, [laughter]
1:13:01
>> I guess so.
1:13:02
>> But yeah, whatever. Well, that was a
1:13:04
long time ago.
1:13:05
>> That's true.
1:13:06
>> Everybody did That's dead. But based on
1:13:08
today,
1:13:09
>> oi ve [laughter]
1:13:13
like Lebanon, bro, what they're doing in
1:13:14
Lebanon right now is crazy.
1:13:16
>> Well, they're looking for Hezbollah.
1:13:17
>> They got to look under rubble.
1:13:20
>> Barney rubble.
1:13:22
One more time with that lighter there.
1:13:26
>> Thank you. There we go.
1:13:29
>> It's a wild time to be alive, kids.
1:13:30
>> It's wild.
1:13:31
>> But at least we're going to have drugs
1:13:32
soon.
1:13:32
>> That's pretty nice.
1:13:33
>> Well, at least all those people that are
1:13:35
hooked on pills are going to get off of
1:13:36
them. A lot of them are. At least it's
1:13:38
going to at least give them something
1:13:39
that works.
1:13:41
>> How come we can't get free healthcare?
1:13:43
>> Yeah, right.
1:13:44
>> Why don't we do that?
1:13:45
>> I'm paying out the ass.
1:13:46
>> Why can't we do that? I bet if they took
1:13:47
all the money from fraud, it would pay
1:13:49
for healthcare 10 times more
1:13:51
>> or in Ukraine or Israel.
1:13:52
>> Oh yeah, why not?
1:13:53
>> Right.
1:13:54
>> Well, that's what's annoying. All these
1:13:55
politic like if we get this much money,
1:13:56
we can cure this handle this money. What
1:13:59
are you doing?
1:13:59
>> I think 100% free healthcare would be an
1:14:02
awesome thing. But you also want doctors
1:14:05
to be incentivized to be really good at
1:14:07
their jobs.
1:14:07
>> For sure. But also you want like Dr.
1:14:09
Gman, the guy that did your knee and did
1:14:11
my knee. That's a he's a bad Why can't
1:14:14
we have universal healthcare and private
1:14:15
doctors? We should be able to have both
1:14:17
of those things.
1:14:18
>> Like public school and private school,
1:14:19
right? Public defenders. You're allowed
1:14:21
to have a public defender.
1:14:22
>> Dude, the ease at which I got treated in
1:14:23
third world countries was like
1:14:26
>> Yeah. You just go in.
1:14:27
>> Yeah. You go to a pharmacy,
1:14:28
>> see somebody like here's your pills you
1:14:30
need. Here's your here's your drops you
1:14:31
need.
1:14:32
>> Dirty needles and weird equipment over
1:14:33
there.
1:14:34
>> No.
1:14:34
>> No.
1:14:35
>> Really?
1:14:35
>> It's Harvard trained doctors.
1:14:37
>> Come on.
1:14:37
>> Yeah. There just no upsell for
1:14:39
>> universal healthcare system in America
1:14:40
would cost approximately 3.0 to 3.2
1:14:43
trillion annually. Oh,
1:14:45
>> that's a lot.
1:14:46
>> Which is actually less than the current
1:14:47
system that costs around 5.3 trillion
1:14:49
per year. So, you're talking about a
1:14:51
savings of almost 50%.
1:14:53
>> Why don't we get why don't we get free
1:14:55
healthcare?
1:14:55
>> So, a savings of 450 billion annually
1:14:59
while providing coverage to all
1:15:01
Americans. According to Perplexity, our
1:15:03
AI sponsor, which is never wrong, the
1:15:05
United States currently spends about 5.3
1:15:07
trillion in healthcare, $15,474
1:15:11
per person as of 2024. Even when
1:15:14
something goes wrong and you have
1:15:15
insurance, it's not paid for. You got to
1:15:17
spend five grand to get anesthesia and
1:15:19
then another five grand to go downstairs
1:15:21
for the surgery.
1:15:22
>> So, what do you think is the problem?
1:15:24
What is it? What is causing
1:15:27
the money insurance companies trying to
1:15:29
make you president?
1:15:29
>> Oh, thanks. It's insurance companies.
1:15:32
>> When I read a Jew,
1:15:33
>> I got my I got my teeth checked in in
1:15:35
Ecuador and they were like, "You have
1:15:36
impacted gums." I was like, "All right,
1:15:37
I was about to go home in a week." I was
1:15:38
like, "When I go home, I'll do I'll fix
1:15:40
it." And they're like, "Are you nuts?
1:15:42
>> Do it." People fly here to get that
1:15:44
surgery.
1:15:44
>> Mhm.
1:15:45
>> Cuz it's so much cheaper. Flight,
1:15:46
hotels, all that
1:15:48
>> is much cheaper than doing it there.
1:15:50
>> And like we have a surgeon and I was
1:15:52
like, "Is he like trained?" And they're
1:15:53
like, "Yeah, he went to Yale Medical
1:15:55
School."
1:15:55
>> Dude shows up, sacrifices, [laughter]
1:16:00
>> why they clip Bernie, cuz he was trying
1:16:02
to do this. So they got rid of him.
1:16:04
>> That was one thing he was trying to do.
1:16:05
>> It kind of blows. It's embarrassing.
1:16:07
>> All right, let's put it this way. How
1:16:08
much would it cost if uh school like
1:16:11
higher education was was free?
1:16:14
>> Oh, there's too much money in that. They
1:16:15
won't do it.
1:16:16
>> Well, that's the same exact thing with
1:16:17
healthcare.
1:16:18
>> Yeah.
1:16:18
>> Yeah.
1:16:20
>> That's where we're at as a country. It's
1:16:22
all
1:16:23
>> the same reason we're doing wars.
1:16:24
>> Yeah.
1:16:25
>> Money to make money.
1:16:26
>> Of course, nothing else. Not even just
1:16:28
oil, but defense contracts. They need
1:16:31
>> raing it in.
1:16:32
>> I thought it was just
1:16:33
>> I mean, the war has already cost how
1:16:34
much? Let's find out that. How much is
1:16:36
the war? Let's just say globally. No,
1:16:38
no, let's just let's just look at how
1:16:40
much Iran has cost us.
1:16:41
>> There we go. That's what I mean. Wait,
1:16:43
take a guess. Shut down the [ __ ]
1:16:44
Ukraine,
1:16:45
>> right? But I mean just us spending money
1:16:48
to bomb Iran. Just that the simplest
1:16:51
lowest run without the economic impact,
1:16:53
the oil impact.
1:16:54
>> What about the hormuz and all that cuz
1:16:56
all that's a
1:16:57
>> Well, that's that's a factor. But let's
1:16:58
just find out how much the raw money
1:17:00
spent on the bombs.
1:17:01
>> 25 billion.
1:17:02
>> 25 billion.
1:17:03
>> Ah, that's dropping the bucket. 60 days
1:17:05
into the war.
1:17:06
>> How much is Ukraine?
1:17:08
>> That's a lot more.
1:17:09
>> So, what what concerns me, not just
1:17:12
well, all of it concerns me. One of the
1:17:13
things that someone told me was that
1:17:15
we've kind of depleted our weapon
1:17:16
supplies
1:17:17
>> cuz we b we don't have that many of
1:17:20
those [ __ ] missiles. We gave them all
1:17:22
Well, we gave them all to Ukraine. We
1:17:23
gave them all to Israel, and then we
1:17:24
gave them Now we're [ __ ] using them.
1:17:26
>> But Zillinsky's a mooch. He just keeps
1:17:28
wanting more.
1:17:29
>> I don't think it's
1:17:31
>> Oh, you think it's his?
1:17:32
>> No, I think it's us. It's us. It's the
1:17:35
US.
1:17:36
>> It's money. But it's all it's all
1:17:37
together. Every It's all big scam. Ponzi
1:17:41
scheme. Everybody's making money.
1:17:43
>> We should get Trump on here. [snorts]
1:17:45
>> We're doing great. Don't let anybody lie
1:17:47
to you. [laughter]
1:17:49
>> Maybe maybe next time we smoo them into
1:17:51
free healthcare.
1:17:52
>> Maybe next time we smoo him into a
1:17:53
protect our parks
1:17:56
in here,
1:17:56
>> brother. Let's do free.
1:17:57
>> Come on, dog. Yeah.
1:17:59
>> It's crazy too because I've gotten there
1:18:00
was a pill I had to get like three of
1:18:02
when I went to Asia or something and it
1:18:04
was like I got two here. They cost me
1:18:05
like 400 each and then the same it's the
1:18:07
same drug in Myanmar. It's like $40.
1:18:09
>> Well, that's one thing that he has
1:18:10
fixed. One thing that Trump is working
1:18:12
on is making whatever the low price is
1:18:15
internationally the price that people
1:18:17
pay in America. And he he told he's
1:18:19
[ __ ] hilarious. He was telling guy
1:18:21
I've got a friend. I don't want to say
1:18:22
his name. Very successful. He's a big
1:18:24
guy. He took the fat pill. It didn't
1:18:27
work.
1:18:28
>> [laughter]
1:18:28
>> But he was going on about how his friend
1:18:31
went overseas. He forgot his fat pill.
1:18:33
He went overseas and he was in Europe
1:18:35
and he got it for like a hundred bucks.
1:18:37
And he's like, "This is like $1,300 in
1:18:39
America." He's like, "It's not right.
1:18:41
It's not right." And so he made it so
1:18:44
that whatever the low cost is in these
1:18:46
other countries, that's the low cost in
1:18:47
America. That's what it costs here now.
1:18:49
>> Is that right?
1:18:49
>> Yes.
1:18:50
>> Everybody's on it.
1:18:51
>> It's like you're not going to get all
1:18:52
good
1:18:53
>> any drug,
1:18:53
>> you know? You're not going to get all
1:18:54
good with any president either, you
1:18:56
know? you you're going to get a lot of
1:18:58
bad [ __ ] because all these people are
1:19:00
surrounded by demons. They're surrounded
1:19:02
by war hawks and demons and defense
1:19:05
contractors and scam artists in the
1:19:07
pharmaceutical industry. There's all
1:19:08
these [ __ ] people that are trying to
1:19:10
make sure that they can make the most
1:19:11
amount of money possible. Just all coke
1:19:13
snorting demons
1:19:15
>> allegedly.
1:19:16
>> I was watching this documentary on uh
1:19:18
the homeless here in Austin and they're
1:19:20
talking about how like I was on
1:19:22
schizophrenia medicine. I can't afford
1:19:24
it anymore. Ah,
1:19:25
>> and they're out there just sprinting.
1:19:27
>> What happens if you take schizophrenia
1:19:29
medicine and you don't have
1:19:30
schizophrenia?
1:19:31
>> Oo, that's I think I did that at
1:19:34
[laughter]
1:19:35
>> I think I took some antiscychotics and
1:19:37
slept for 4 days. [laughter] Huge
1:19:39
mistake.
1:19:40
>> It helps you expired [ __ ]
1:19:42
antiscychotic. He was like, you're take
1:19:43
this. Does he take it? I don't know if
1:19:46
he takes it. Was expired, so I guess
1:19:47
not.
1:19:48
>> Jesus Christ.
1:19:49
>> It helps.
1:19:49
>> Yeah, but expired medication, I was just
1:19:51
reading this thing about that. Like most
1:19:52
expired medication is actually still
1:19:54
usable like up to 300% longer than they
1:19:57
say it.
1:19:57
>> Yeah. It's like a little bit less
1:19:58
effective but still good.
1:20:00
>> Yeah.
1:20:01
>> Yeah. But I don't even know if it's less
1:20:02
effective. This this thing was saying
1:20:03
that it's 100% effective for a long
1:20:05
period of time after the expiration
1:20:06
date.
1:20:08
>> I don't know why they have an expiration
1:20:09
date. It's not like milk,
1:20:11
>> right?
1:20:11
>> You know.
1:20:12
>> Yeah. The healthcare thing is really
1:20:13
embarrassing to be honest.
1:20:15
>> Institutions and some free healthcare
1:20:16
for these fellas outside. I don't know
1:20:19
how to I don't know how to obviously no
1:20:20
one knows how to do something a giant
1:20:23
percentage of those people are addicted
1:20:24
to drugs right a giant fentinel zombies
1:20:27
you need I gain for all those people
1:20:29
mental health facilities you need to get
1:20:31
them on whatever medication to fix their
1:20:33
schizophrenia
1:20:34
>> and it's also it's not even like a
1:20:35
[ __ ] goodwill thing it's also like we
1:20:38
need to [ __ ] clean
1:20:41
it's for everybody so what are we doing
1:20:43
why whatever
1:20:44
>> skid in Los Angeles
1:20:45
>> [ __ ] hold up
1:20:46
>> skid row in Los Angeles is 50 blocks.
1:20:49
>> 50 blocks. Five zeros.
1:20:51
>> When I last time I looked, it said
1:20:53
American health. Americans pay more than
1:20:56
two times the next country for
1:20:59
healthcare and we get the 17th best
1:21:00
coverage.
1:21:02
>> And we're the sickest.
1:21:03
>> We're the sickest.
1:21:04
>> Yeah. It's nuts. We spend the most
1:21:05
money. Once in Toronto, it was clean.
1:21:07
>> Yeah. You just go right to a doctor.
1:21:09
Even just driving around, I was like,
1:21:10
"This is crazy. How did How are we
1:21:12
getting Why is America dog shit?"
1:21:14
>> I know. And our [ __ ] is locked up at the
1:21:15
CVS. They don't have that. Everybody's
1:21:18
stealing.
1:21:18
>> Wow. There's a lot of stealing me the
1:21:21
most.
1:21:21
>> Yeah. Yeah. I love to steal.
1:21:22
>> Yeah. You steal. [laughter]
1:21:24
>> Why you locking it up?
1:21:26
>> Call. You got to do this before you're
1:21:27
about to steal.
1:21:28
>> I got a problem. Just in like airports
1:21:30
and stuff.
1:21:31
>> Movie theaters. You do everywhere. Come
1:21:33
on. Don't sell yourself short.
1:21:34
>> Watch.
1:21:40
A little bit of a thrill. Can I get the
1:21:41
Winona Rider thing?
1:21:42
>> It's cheaper, too.
1:21:43
>> Yeah, it's cheaper. Mark, the last time
1:21:45
I saw I saw Mark Steel was we're in a
1:21:47
movie theater and I got some popcorn and
1:21:50
[laughter] it's I'm sure it's closed by
1:21:52
now. And then the lady turned around and
1:21:53
got my popcorn and then he just had beef
1:21:55
jerky in the movie.
1:21:57
>> Yeah, they were selling it.
1:21:58
>> How did you get that? [laughter] He goes
1:21:59
most expensive item. I just reached for
1:22:00
it.
1:22:01
>> Oh boy.
1:22:03
>> Too they up the prices. It's
1:22:04
>> up the prices.
1:22:05
>> I mean, you get you get a Hudson News
1:22:07
Cliff Bar, it's eight bucks. Not on my
1:22:09
watch.
1:22:09
>> It's ridiculous.
1:22:10
>> Not on my watch.
1:22:11
>> Once you're on the plane, you're home
1:22:12
free. You know,
1:22:13
>> you're raising the cost for the rest of
1:22:14
us.
1:22:14
>> Yeah, you are. You are. That's why I say
1:22:16
goddamn cliff bars.
1:22:17
>> They put that in. They they factor the
1:22:19
the theft in.
1:22:19
>> You're a successful person. [laughter]
1:22:21
That's outrageous.
1:22:22
>> Habits die hard.
1:22:23
>> Yeah. You don't No one's going to be
1:22:24
sympathetic towards you. You have money.
1:22:26
>> I'm not asking you to. I'm just saying
1:22:28
it. It's [laughter] a fun ride.
1:22:29
>> I don't want it.
1:22:31
>> The beef jerky tastes better when it's
1:22:32
stolen.
1:22:33
>> Everything tastes better when it's
1:22:34
stolen.
1:22:35
>> That's so weird. Diaz one time at the at
1:22:37
the uh airport, he just comes off from
1:22:39
one of those bodeas and he comes out, he
1:22:40
just shows me tic tacs and it was like,
1:22:41
"What is that for?" He goes, "Yeah,
1:22:43
right. I got some." And they just threw
1:22:45
in the garbage.
1:22:46
>> Wow.
1:22:46
>> And I was like, "What are you doing?" I
1:22:47
was trying to stay sharp.
1:22:49
>> That's a steel. It [laughter] rattles.
1:22:52
>> That's a hard steel.
1:22:52
>> That's a hard steel.
1:22:53
>> That's right. Sharp is hilarious.
1:22:56
>> What? [laughter]
1:22:57
>> I don't throw it out. I
1:22:58
>> I don't throw it out. Yeah. Yeah.
1:23:00
>> Joey's going in for surgery today.
1:23:01
>> Uhoh. Tits me. He's getting some.
1:23:04
[laughter] He's getting cannons.
1:23:06
>> Cannon cannon reduction surgery.
1:23:08
>> He's getting top surgery.
1:23:10
>> He's getting his tits removed.
1:23:12
>> He's getting that big scar
1:23:14
>> about him. Shirtless is rough.
1:23:16
>> How many times have you seen it?
1:23:17
>> Just once and it's burned in. [laughter]
1:23:21
>> I've seen it. Joey Karate.
1:23:23
>> Joey. Yeah. Joey Karate's great. Yeah.
1:23:26
That [ __ ] guy is such an animal. High
1:23:29
kicks and he's got his leg up to about
1:23:30
his knee height.
1:23:31
>> He's pretty good, dude.
1:23:34
Is he around? Did he move here yet?
1:23:36
>> No, but he's coming back and forth all
1:23:37
the time. There he is.
1:23:39
>> Look at that thing. That looks like AI.
1:23:42
>> That's crazy.
1:23:43
>> Jesus [laughter] Christ. How's he alive
1:23:45
>> without context of a background? It's
1:23:47
wild, bro. That belly is crazy.
1:23:49
>> You got to have a decent hog if you're
1:23:51
going to have that gut. Got a hell.
1:23:52
>> Is he grubbing or boozing? What's that?
1:23:54
What is that? Food.
1:23:55
>> Food. He's grubbing. Oh, yeah. Joey
1:23:57
can't stop beating.
1:23:58
>> He doesn't really drink. He doesn't
1:23:59
drink at all. I go to eat with Joey.
1:24:01
It's It's a scene. It's a fun time.
1:24:03
>> He loves it.
1:24:03
>> Oh, that poor ghee.
1:24:04
>> He goes off. He eats. He eats. He
1:24:08
[ __ ] loves food. But he's just
1:24:10
>> Oh, we got a new Chinese place by my
1:24:11
place. You got to come.
1:24:12
>> He's the most fun human.
1:24:14
>> Sucks. [laughter]
1:24:15
>> He's the most fun human that's ever
1:24:17
existed.
1:24:17
>> Yeah.
1:24:18
>> No one's more fun.
1:24:19
>> It's good egg.
1:24:20
>> He's barely a real person. He's a human
1:24:22
cartoon.
1:24:22
>> Barely real. He's so funny.
1:24:24
>> So, he's still getting up on stage. He's
1:24:26
still doing sets.
1:24:27
>> Oh, he killed He killed. He was here. He
1:24:29
did an hour. He's He's running out.
1:24:31
Yeah. He's got all these great stories.
1:24:32
It's really, really good. Really well
1:24:34
done.
1:24:35
>> All right.
1:24:36
>> Is the man.
1:24:36
>> Good to have him back.
1:24:38
>> That's the thing about comedy. We're
1:24:40
kind of losing the uh the wildness. You
1:24:43
know, when I when I started comedy, it
1:24:44
was like Geraldo and all these guys are
1:24:46
all dead now.
1:24:47
>> Drugs.
1:24:47
>> I think it's kind of coming back now,
1:24:49
though. I think it's coming back because
1:24:51
TV is going away. So, it's like it gets
1:24:53
down to the root of what is really
1:24:55
effective in comedy. It's wildness is
1:24:57
more effective. It's It's more fun if
1:24:59
you're sitting there drunk in a crowd
1:25:01
and some dude's on stage going off
1:25:03
saying crazy [ __ ] It's more fun.
1:25:05
>> Yeah,
1:25:05
>> it is more fun. But I don't know if
1:25:07
that's actually here. I think there's a
1:25:08
lot of [ __ ] guys with jobs.
1:25:10
>> Sober. A lot of sobriety.
1:25:12
>> Got to get up early for a podcast
1:25:13
tomorrow.
1:25:14
>> These young guys though, these young
1:25:15
guys aren't like that. A lot of these
1:25:17
young guys coming up are doing drugs.
1:25:19
>> Oh, good.
1:25:20
>> Well, they're doing clips, but they're
1:25:21
they're still wild boys.
1:25:22
>> Some people are still giving it.
1:25:23
Bringing it.
1:25:24
>> You hope so. used to be late night at
1:25:26
the cell used to be so much fun when
1:25:28
Mackie was drinking when it was just a
1:25:30
drinking crowd.
1:25:30
>> It was a lot of go a lot of whiskey.
1:25:32
>> They There's There's that here.
1:25:34
>> Here.
1:25:34
>> Here for sure. Yeah, here
1:25:36
>> like last night.
1:25:37
>> Yeah, last night was nice.
1:25:37
>> We did it last night.
1:25:38
>> Yeah.
1:25:39
>> Oh, what did I miss?
1:25:40
>> We just some boozy.
1:25:41
>> Just had a couple drinks.
1:25:42
>> Just some Bruley and Bros.
1:25:43
>> I was begging him to I was I've changed
1:25:45
my new uh
1:25:46
>> He has a new tattoo. He's like, "Oh,
1:25:48
come on. Drink." I'm like, "No, I got to
1:25:49
get up early tomorrow." He's like,
1:25:50
"Dude, I'm like, "Oh, you're going to
1:25:51
call me gay
1:25:52
>> and lame, bro. I've been gone. I've had
1:25:54
time to ruminate on this.
1:25:55
>> You can peer. You can peer with the
1:25:57
best.
1:25:57
>> I got to do peer pressure.
1:25:58
>> No, I'm just saying like I want to drink
1:26:00
and I don't want to be alone. If you
1:26:01
were friends, it's like you such a homo.
1:26:04
>> I was like, "Tomorrow is going to be
1:26:05
tough for me. I'd like it to be tough
1:26:07
for somebody else. Do me a favor. Chug
1:26:09
that [ __ ] drink." [laughter]
1:26:11
>> Yeah, dear one.
1:26:13
>> He always comes in. He has no idea what
1:26:14
your count is. He just comes in. He
1:26:16
goes, "You could do more." I'm like,
1:26:17
"Yeah, I could have done one or seven
1:26:18
and you would have no clue." Like, you
1:26:20
got to go more.
1:26:21
>> D Rose is up there. Doris is the worst.
1:26:23
>> Give him a shot. It's my birthday month.
1:26:25
>> Yes. [laughter] Yes. He's like a chick.
1:26:28
>> He's the biggest pig in comedy. He is a
1:26:30
pig, dude. I hate him.
1:26:32
>> He'll he'll pour shots in your mouth. He
1:26:34
doesn't care. He'll tilt your hand.
1:26:35
>> He'll also go like, "Come on, don't be a
1:26:37
[ __ ] Do a shot." And then you do. And
1:26:39
then 10 minutes later, he's gone. And
1:26:41
he's at KFC. [laughter]
1:26:44
>> He's so funny how he shits on weed
1:26:46
people, too. It's hilarious.
1:26:47
>> He hates weed.
1:26:48
>> It's so weird.
1:26:49
>> I like his classic drinker. I'm with
1:26:51
him, dude.
1:26:52
>> He's classic drinker.
1:26:53
>> I think he was just around a lot of all
1:26:55
the New York comics got sober and then
1:26:56
just smoked weed constantly
1:26:58
>> got
1:26:59
>> and then they're like, "Oh, you're
1:27:00
drinking again." It's like, dude, you
1:27:02
haven't had a thought in [ __ ] seven
1:27:04
years. So, what are you [ __ ] talking
1:27:06
to?
1:27:06
>> It's all munchies.
1:27:08
>> Ah,
1:27:08
>> yeah. There's some I mean, everything
1:27:10
could be abused.
1:27:11
>> There's only a couple people in comedy
1:27:12
that do weed like real good like Soder
1:27:16
Jay where they're like they're just the
1:27:17
same. They're just happy.
1:27:19
>> Chappelle.
1:27:20
>> Chappelle. Cuz yes, most people go in on
1:27:22
weed. They still are out in fun.
1:27:25
>> It's a personality thing. Totally.
1:27:27
>> They're still still active a lot. Yeah,
1:27:29
most people.
1:27:29
>> It's also I think it's a biological
1:27:31
thing cuz I think it affects people very
1:27:33
differently. Definitely.
1:27:34
>> Can you get high when you smoke?
1:27:35
>> Yeah, Jamie gets smokes.
1:27:37
>> Okay, cool.
1:27:37
>> Edibles just don't work on the kid.
1:27:39
>> That's wild.
1:27:40
>> Young Jamie shrugs him off. That's
1:27:42
crazy.
1:27:42
>> You try to dose him up, he'll smile
1:27:43
right in your face.
1:27:44
>> Jamie, I'd like I'd like you to have a
1:27:45
bruski. What's going on?
1:27:46
>> It'd be nice. Give it.
1:27:48
>> We talked about this earlier and I'd
1:27:49
like I'd love for you to get involved
1:27:50
today.
1:27:51
>> You talked to me. I didn't really
1:27:54
put on the beer. Put on the beer.
1:27:55
>> All of a sudden, I'm talking. Well, it
1:27:56
worked. He's drinking.
1:27:59
>> It works. He said he said something
1:28:01
nasty and that's fine.
1:28:03
>> You for that. You talked at me. I'm
1:28:05
trying to include you and have it. Let's
1:28:06
have fun.
1:28:07
>> J's a sassy [ __ ]
1:28:08
>> He's just being just clarifying.
1:28:10
>> He's an assassin.
1:28:11
>> He talked at me. I didn't talk at you.
1:28:12
How did I talk [laughter] at least was a
1:28:14
discussion. I mean, it was one.
1:28:15
>> Yeah, a little discussion. And I said,
1:28:16
"Let's go watch Sixers Celtics. Let's
1:28:18
have a couple beers."
1:28:19
>> That's a great night.
1:28:19
>> Go to a bar, watch the Celtics.
1:28:23
>> Peer pressure.
1:28:25
>> Upload the podcast.
1:28:26
>> Fun times.
1:28:26
>> You can upload it with four beers.
1:28:28
>> You're Pierce Morgan.
1:28:30
>> Yeah. Leave it till Monday. We don't
1:28:31
care.
1:28:32
>> When are you getting that car?
1:28:34
>> Tomorrow.
1:28:34
>> Yeah.
1:28:35
>> A a tree fell on his car.
1:28:37
>> Crash my car.
1:28:38
>> Really? From what? The wind's here.
1:28:40
>> They were doing some [ __ ] road work
1:28:41
right in front of my house. And the the
1:28:43
vi the vibrations. [laughter] Oh, they
1:28:46
they building savage your your your car.
1:28:49
>> You got second [laughter] tower.
1:28:50
>> Wow.
1:28:50
>> I I really did, dude.
1:28:53
>> The house I live in, I'm renting this
1:28:54
house. It's like a one of those new
1:28:57
prefab [ __ ] or whatever those things.
1:28:58
These new Austin houses, which are all
1:29:01
the exact same, which I kind of don't
1:29:02
[ __ ] like at all. Is it the same one
1:29:05
you've been in?
1:29:05
>> Yeah. It's like a 15t ceiling for no
1:29:07
reason. It's one floor.
1:29:09
>> It looks It has this type of wall that's
1:29:11
like standard.
1:29:12
>> It's a beautiful house.
1:29:14
>> It is very nice. And I've The last house
1:29:15
I was in was a [ __ ] queen's
1:29:18
apartment, but
1:29:19
>> that had more soul than this place.
1:29:21
>> More soul for sure. But when I first
1:29:23
walked into the house I'm in now, I was
1:29:25
like, "Holy [ __ ] this is incredible."
1:29:27
>> Yeah.
1:29:28
>> It's not a [ __ ] piece of [ __ ] house.
1:29:31
>> It looks like a house from a porn.
1:29:32
>> It's an Airbnb, too. It is an Airbnb.
1:29:35
Yeah.
1:29:35
>> It is weird how money changes you.
1:29:37
>> Yeah.
1:29:37
>> Like it changes what you're accustomed
1:29:39
to.
1:29:40
>> Mhm.
1:29:40
>> You get a little accustom to
1:29:42
>> I was thinking about this. Yeah. You get
1:29:44
accustomed to the nice things, but I I
1:29:45
keep trying to change and I'm just not
1:29:48
really changing.
1:29:49
>> What do you mean?
1:29:49
>> As a human. No. Yeah. The cement is dry.
1:29:52
You're always mechanicsburg.
1:29:53
>> Yeah. It's Mechanicsburg. It's light
1:29:55
beers. It's like all of a sudden I
1:29:56
realized I'm just getting drunk at
1:29:57
higher places,
1:29:59
>> right?
1:29:59
>> Like I'm just in a taller building
1:30:01
getting drunk.
1:30:01
>> Yeah. With more expensive beer.
1:30:02
>> The exact same.
1:30:05
Everybody at Deep Creek.
1:30:06
>> It's the same beer, but the prices Yeah.
1:30:08
Everybody at Deep Creek was like poor
1:30:09
white trash in like Maryland. And then
1:30:11
they like got rich and like when they
1:30:12
were poor like we could just barely
1:30:14
afford one Bud Light and now they're
1:30:15
rich like 10 Bud Lights.
1:30:17
>> What is it? [laughter]
1:30:17
>> Deep Creek.
1:30:18
>> Deep Creek Lake is where pontooners go
1:30:20
to party.
1:30:21
>> Where is that?
1:30:22
>> It's like deep almost by West Virginia.
1:30:25
>> Manade giant lake. It
1:30:27
>> rules.
1:30:28
>> Same with New Orleans. We'd go out to
1:30:29
the boga and tube all day. Remember
1:30:31
tubing? You sit on a river with a beer
1:30:34
and a float in a circle.
1:30:35
>> You just jump down, walk a long way down
1:30:37
the [laughter] water.
1:30:38
>> I think it's good that you're not
1:30:39
changing. It's a good sign. It'd
1:30:41
>> be nice if I could.
1:30:43
>> No, I mean, you change a little. You
1:30:45
know, you got some good stuff going on.
1:30:48
>> Literally, if you said this to Shane
1:30:50
yesterday, if you go, you've changed.
1:30:51
He'd be like, "What the [ __ ] is that
1:30:53
supposed to mean?"
1:30:54
>> Well, it's just wrong.
1:30:55
>> I know.
1:30:56
>> And I'd go, "God damn, I wish I could."
1:30:57
>> He dressed the same,
1:30:58
>> but you're not going to stay in a
1:30:59
Holiday Express.
1:31:01
>> Sure.
1:31:02
>> You've handled a nice hotel.
1:31:03
>> You've handled fame very well. You've
1:31:05
handled it pretty well. You haven't
1:31:06
gotten weird at all. Now, some people
1:31:07
get weird just from the pressure of it.
1:31:09
Almost everybody.
1:31:10
>> Yeah,
1:31:11
>> almost everybody. 98% get like
1:31:14
different.
1:31:14
>> I'm thinking of eight comics in my head
1:31:16
right now who have gone full diva.
1:31:17
>> Yeah, they get weird. It's very strange.
1:31:20
>> Shane, I know you have not changed.
1:31:21
>> Oh, the bottom. [laughter]
1:31:23
>> You've changed, bro. You [ __ ]
1:31:25
changed. What the [ __ ] Wait,
1:31:28
[ __ ] [laughter] You work for
1:31:30
Israel.
1:31:30
>> Now, this is this is taste of aluminum.
1:31:34
Some people like the aluminum taste.
1:31:36
>> Bottle beer taste in a can. commercial.
1:31:37
I remember when I was little.
1:31:38
>> What?
1:31:39
>> It was some It was It was some out some
1:31:40
beer and they go bottle beer taste in a
1:31:42
can. I was like, "Is bottle beer
1:31:44
better?"
1:31:45
>> People like the aluminum flavor.
1:31:47
>> Yeah.
1:31:48
>> I like Give me a glass bottle a lot.
1:31:52
>> What's this?
1:31:53
>> Bottle beer tone.
1:31:54
>> That's what it was.
1:31:56
>> In a can.
1:31:57
>> What? My memory served
1:31:58
>> bad beer across those Keystones.
1:32:01
>> This is a commercial from 1948.
1:32:03
>> That's what I remember. grain.
1:32:05
>> I remember Israel got independence and I
1:32:06
was watching this commercial. [laughter]
1:32:08
>> Yo, you guys you guys watch the Hogan
1:32:10
doc?
1:32:11
>> It's good. It's great.
1:32:12
>> I [ __ ] cried. Good.
1:32:14
>> Really? So good.
1:32:15
>> When he's getting sued for taking down
1:32:16
Belzer,
1:32:17
>> he rules.
1:32:18
>> And he's like, I was making 3500 a month
1:32:20
and I'm getting sued for 500,000. I was
1:32:22
famous but not rich.
1:32:24
>> And they're like, "What are we going to
1:32:25
do?" Oh, he rules.
1:32:26
>> I didn't even know he got sued for that
1:32:28
>> to go into MSG. I mean, he choked the
1:32:30
guy unconscious.
1:32:32
drop too far.
1:32:34
>> He did. He could have Jon Jones used to
1:32:36
do this all the time, but at least it
1:32:37
was soft matte. This was like hard
1:32:39
floor. He just just like threw.
1:32:40
>> Yeah, but Jon Jones was doing it in a
1:32:41
UFC fight against Machito.
1:32:44
>> Someone who agreed. Yeah, [laughter]
1:32:46
>> he does it and then he he if he just
1:32:47
laid him down, it'd be like point
1:32:49
proven,
1:32:50
>> right?
1:32:50
>> But he had to bring it. He's on TV.
1:32:53
>> Drunk and on steroids and on Coke.
1:32:56
Someone's like, "Yo, your shit's fake."
1:32:58
You take it off. Is that what Bowser
1:32:59
said that he's fake?
1:33:00
>> It's so funny to him cuz he's like cuz
1:33:02
he's like, "Oh, you think I'm fake? Is
1:33:03
that fake?" You're like, "No, but you
1:33:04
don't do that when I'm talking." It is
1:33:07
fake.
1:33:07
>> Do you remember when John Staceil
1:33:08
confronted that wrestler backstage and
1:33:10
the wrestler just [ __ ] slapped him a
1:33:12
bunch of times? Slapped the [ __ ] out of
1:33:14
him. I think that ruined that guy's
1:33:15
career though. I think
1:33:16
>> Staceel the wrestler.
1:33:17
>> The wrestler.
1:33:17
>> Yeah.
1:33:18
>> Uh I never heard of this.
1:33:19
>> I don't know. I think Who was the
1:33:20
wrestler?
1:33:21
>> Staceel's still around.
1:33:22
>> Staceel's still around. But I think it
1:33:23
ruined the wrestler's career.
1:33:24
>> Whoa.
1:33:25
>> Cuz he beat the [ __ ] out of He looks
1:33:26
like I feel like he in my head he looks
1:33:28
like Sid Vicious or
1:33:29
>> Well, he's a giant dude and he [ __ ]
1:33:31
slapped him open palm to the ear, which
1:33:33
could definitely make you go deaf.
1:33:35
>> But I mean, if you told BJ Penn in his
1:33:37
prime or or or or or anybody like, "I
1:33:39
think what you do is fake." They'd be
1:33:40
like, "It's not."
1:33:42
>> John Stace was slapped twice by WWF
1:33:44
wrestled Dr. D. David Schultz backstage
1:33:46
Madison Square Garden after calling pro
1:33:48
wrestling fake during a 2020 expose. The
1:33:51
incident left Stacele with pain and
1:33:53
ringing in his ears leading to a lawsuit
1:33:55
against WWF.
1:33:56
>> Jewish wrestling.
1:33:57
>> You think he made money? Oh, you slipped
1:33:59
right out.
1:34:00
>> [ __ ] It was like bad.
1:34:01
>> At least he's not pissing in a kombucha
1:34:02
jar.
1:34:02
>> He probably is.
1:34:03
>> Give it on.
1:34:04
>> But here it is. So, he's grabbing him.
1:34:06
He gets him in this sleeper hold and he
1:34:08
go he slumps and then he just drops him.
1:34:11
>> Head hit the hit the floor.
1:34:12
>> How professional is he though when he
1:34:13
gets
1:34:14
>> incident is from a 1985 episode of
1:34:16
>> What the [ __ ] H.
1:34:19
So Bzer was talking [ __ ] saying it was
1:34:21
fake.
1:34:22
>> Great host, though. He pops right up and
1:34:24
goes commercial.
1:34:24
>> All right, we'll be right back.
1:34:25
>> Yeah, heads bleeding and everything.
1:34:28
>> That is crazy. Oh, wow. Look at the
1:34:30
blood on the back of his head.
1:34:32
>> You know who.
1:34:32
>> It's spurting out onto his jacket. Look
1:34:34
at that.
1:34:35
>> What a pro.
1:34:36
>> Yeah, that is
1:34:37
>> Chris Rock could have learned that.
1:34:38
>> Quite professional. He seems happy.
1:34:40
>> Look at Mr. T. That
1:34:42
>> he doesn't seem upset at all. And then
1:34:43
he sued.
1:34:45
>> Yep. But you got to be a pro,
1:34:47
>> but also you got to be,
1:34:50
>> you know,
1:34:51
>> that makes head look like Kennedy.
1:34:54
>> $400,000 settlement. Famously used the
1:34:57
money to buy a home in France. Jokingly
1:34:58
named it Chezza Hogan.
1:35:01
>> That's fun.
1:35:01
>> He bought a house in France. He lived in
1:35:03
France for a while and then he was a
1:35:05
Jew. He's had to be.
1:35:06
>> Sounds like got a lawsuit for that.
1:35:08
>> Latigious.
1:35:10
>> Yeah. He didn't used to pay medical
1:35:11
bills. He bought a house. It's like that
1:35:13
means that's a bonus in France.
1:35:15
>> It's a Jew move. And I think he was
1:35:17
still doing that Law and Order show and
1:35:18
just flying back and forth to France.
1:35:20
>> Met him once. It's the funniest thing
1:35:21
cuz I saw him in like early early like
1:35:23
doing those late night shows, you know,
1:35:25
as a kid.
1:35:25
>> Mhm.
1:35:26
>> And it was like, "Oh, that's a
1:35:27
comedian." And then he's done a lot of
1:35:28
comics have this trajectory. Do nothing
1:35:30
comedic.
1:35:31
>> Yep.
1:35:32
>> It's like comedic, coded, serious.
1:35:34
>> Well, he was a comic. He did a lot of
1:35:36
comedy. I saw him do standup in Boston
1:35:38
in the 80s.
1:35:40
>> Then he became like just serious. It's
1:35:41
just a funny guy in serious roles and
1:35:43
not even that funny.
1:35:44
>> No. And then drop standup.
1:35:46
>> Well, I think it's just money and ease.
1:35:48
>> It's so easy.
1:35:49
>> It's that velvet prison. They start
1:35:51
giving you money. You start showing up.
1:35:52
You service. You're eating.
1:35:55
>> Stand up is a blue.
1:35:56
>> Also, his coworker is a guy who made a
1:35:59
song called Cop Killer. Like, he's like,
1:36:00
"All right, I'm rich. I'm rich now, too.
1:36:02
We're both rich. Don't even worry about
1:36:03
who we used to be.
1:36:04
>> Maloney."
1:36:04
>> Yeah.
1:36:05
>> That's interesting.
1:36:06
>> Chris Maloney. [laughter]
1:36:09
>> Just kidding.
1:36:09
>> Yeah. Eventually they go, "I'm just not
1:36:10
that. I'm not 25 anymore."
1:36:12
>> I know, but I mean it's still like
1:36:13
Carlin did it till he died.
1:36:15
>> Was the real one.
1:36:16
>> Yeah. Rickles. Rickles did it till he
1:36:18
died. Rivers was like
1:36:19
anti-establishment. Never changed who he
1:36:22
was. And it was
1:36:22
>> Tell us what Bzer was beginning in the
1:36:24
beginning.
1:36:25
>> He was kind of very conspiracy theory.
1:36:27
He wrote a book on Elvis, Bigfoot, and
1:36:30
flying saucers, I think, was the book. I
1:36:32
read it back in the day. It's a
1:36:33
conspiracy theory book by Belzer.
1:36:35
>> Five different conspiracy books.
1:36:36
>> Did he really?
1:36:37
>> What the [ __ ] UFOs, JFKs, and Elvis.
1:36:40
Conspiracies you don't have to be CRAZY
1:36:41
TO BELIEVE.
1:36:42
>> WOW.
1:36:43
>> Dead wrong. Straight facts on the
1:36:44
country's most controversial cover-ups.
1:36:46
Hit list. An in-depth investigation to
1:36:48
mysterious deaths of witnesses. The JFK
1:36:50
assassination.
1:36:51
>> Wow. He's ahead of his time with that
1:36:52
[ __ ]
1:36:53
>> Yeah, he's he was an interesting guy.
1:36:54
>> Juvenon.
1:36:56
>> Very interesting guy.
1:36:58
>> Wow. He people loved him. He was a
1:37:00
respected comedian. He was a crowdwork
1:37:02
guy. He was like the host. He was always
1:37:04
the host. Crowd work for SNL FOR FIVE
1:37:06
YEARS. OH,
1:37:08
>> REALLY?
1:37:08
>> Crowd warm-up.
1:37:10
>> Back in the day, he was, you know, like
1:37:13
a comics comic.
1:37:14
>> Yeah.
1:37:14
>> But there was a bunch of those like like
1:37:16
Leno was the comics comic. Totally.
1:37:18
>> Back in the day.
1:37:19
>> When I started, they were like the
1:37:20
second best. They also prior, but like
1:37:22
the second best comic. Who is who is
1:37:23
that going to be? And a lot of people
1:37:25
were like, it was Leno. I'm like, isn't
1:37:26
>> that nuts?
1:37:27
>> Yeah.
1:37:27
>> What?
1:37:28
>> Apparently in the 70s was a [ __ ]
1:37:30
animal.
1:37:31
>> Like you get that for a reason.
1:37:32
>> Yeah. You get you don't just some open
1:37:34
micer who gets a Tonight Show.
1:37:36
>> Yeah, but it's that thing. The Tonight
1:37:38
Show was just the golden thing. Oh, he's
1:37:41
got the [ __ ] He's got glasses on now.
1:37:44
[laughter]
1:37:45
>> Eagles.
1:37:47
The 70s was like the golden era for
1:37:50
those kind of comics.
1:37:52
>> Yeah. I mean, you had Carlin was he got
1:37:54
I think four heart attacks from Coke.
1:37:56
>> Whoa. Really?
1:37:57
>> Something like that. Yeah.
1:37:59
>> Maybe Prior was four and he was three,
1:38:00
but they were both up there. Jesus
1:38:02
Christ. I didn't know Carlin had that
1:38:04
many heart attacks.
1:38:04
>> I mean, give it a go, GMO. I could be.
1:38:07
>> How many heart attacks did Carl He had?
1:38:09
Three heart attacks. Cocaine.
1:38:11
>> Yeah.
1:38:11
>> We also had a pill problem for a while.
1:38:14
He had to get off pills. This is like
1:38:15
later in his life,
1:38:17
>> right?
1:38:17
>> Like late late in his life, he was
1:38:19
hooked on the pills.
1:38:19
>> Oh, yeah.
1:38:20
>> Carlin. Yeah. Late in his life. Deep
1:38:23
into his 60s and 70s. I think
1:38:24
>> he was the coolest of all the old
1:38:26
amazing guys I met. Up there for sure.
1:38:29
But like I had to go get him a sandwich
1:38:32
in the door.
1:38:33
>> What?
1:38:33
>> He did like a month at the store.
1:38:34
>> Shut up.
1:38:35
>> Yeah. Month of main room shows.
1:38:36
>> Oh yeah.
1:38:37
>> Year.
1:38:38
>> Uh 20
1:38:39
>> 2001 2002 2003.
1:38:41
>> Wow.
1:38:41
>> And I got him a green blast. I go here
1:38:43
go. He gave me 20 bucks. I was like,
1:38:45
"Oh, no, no, man. They covered it." He
1:38:46
goes, "I know. It's for [laughter] you."
1:38:49
I was like, "Oh, all right. Sorry, Mr.
1:38:50
Carly." Go, don't call me that.
1:38:52
>> He was cool. He was very unassuming. He
1:38:55
was hanging out in the back area by the
1:38:56
parking lot. He would also sit in the
1:38:58
back in Mitsy's chair, you know that.
1:39:00
And and if you did well, he stayed over
1:39:02
mic sometimes. But only if you did well,
1:39:04
he'd be like, "Good job, man."
1:39:05
>> Wow.
1:39:06
>> And then other people didn't. And he'd
1:39:07
be like, "Hi."
1:39:08
>> Yeah.
1:39:09
>> Wow. He zing me pretty good once. Comic.
1:39:11
>> I I did a he did a book signing cuz he
1:39:13
had all those books. And I brought like
1:39:15
four books to meet him at Borders on
1:39:17
Wall Street. And I waited in line and
1:39:19
all these people are going like, "I love
1:39:20
you in Jersey girl. I love you in Bill
1:39:21
and Teds." I was like, "Ah, these people
1:39:23
don't know comedy." So I went up and I
1:39:24
was like, "I love this this special.
1:39:26
Back in town, amazing, whatever." And he
1:39:28
goes, "What do you do?" I go, "I'm a
1:39:29
com." He goes, "Yeah, you got a real
1:39:31
talent for jacking around." That's what
1:39:33
he said.
1:39:34
>> Jacking around?
1:39:34
>> I don't even know what that means.
1:39:35
What's jacking around mean?
1:39:36
>> It seemed like he hated me. [laughter]
1:39:39
>> You got a real talent for jacking
1:39:41
around.
1:39:42
>> He goes, "You sound like a comic." I go,
1:39:43
"Oh, yeah." He goes, "Yeah, you got a
1:39:44
real talent for jacking around."
1:39:46
>> Jacking around.
1:39:47
>> I don't know what that means, but I I'll
1:39:48
take it.
1:39:49
>> 70s lingo.
1:39:50
>> Yeah. I mean, he was around in the day
1:39:52
when Lenny Bruce was around. Oh yeah, he
1:39:53
got arrested at his show.
1:39:55
>> Did he really?
1:39:56
>> He got arrested with Lenny Bruce.
1:39:57
>> Yeah, they were in the same cop car.
1:39:58
Really? That's a big story.
1:40:00
>> That was his hero.
1:40:01
>> Cara came in shoplift.
1:40:04
>> What?
1:40:05
>> Delete that, Jamie.
1:40:06
>> No. [laughter]
1:40:06
Jamie.
1:40:07
>> Jamie, delete that, please.
1:40:08
>> That was a Keep it dry.
1:40:10
>> Jamie, delete that, please. [laughter]
1:40:12
>> I didn't catch it out. We didn't even
1:40:15
know you were joking.
1:40:16
>> We all tried to sort it out like what am
1:40:18
I messing up?
1:40:18
>> What does he mean by Leave it to Israel
1:40:20
to bomb? [laughter]
1:40:27
Oh, those guys paved the [ __ ] road.
1:40:29
>> Mhm.
1:40:30
>> Tell you that.
1:40:30
>> Getting arrested for jokes. Forget a
1:40:32
heckler or some blogger.
1:40:34
>> What? Ruined
1:40:35
>> going to jail.
1:40:36
>> Ruined Lenny Bruce's life. Like at the
1:40:38
end of his life, he was just reading off
1:40:39
court transcripts on stage and the
1:40:40
people get so bummed out. They're like,
1:40:42
"Hey, tell some jokes."
1:40:43
>> Yeah. Like we're here for you to do the
1:40:45
thing.
1:40:45
>> There's video of it. I bought video back
1:40:47
in the day, VHS tapes of his recordings,
1:40:50
and one of the recordings was him on
1:40:53
stage in this small club like just
1:40:55
reading off court transcripts.
1:40:57
>> Oh.
1:40:57
>> And it was just terrible.
1:40:58
>> It's like guys who get canceled and
1:40:59
that's all they talk about,
1:41:01
>> right?
1:41:01
>> That's what happens.
1:41:02
>> Yeah.
1:41:03
>> Becomes their thing. It's so crazy. You
1:41:05
did an off-handed thing and then now
1:41:07
it's your everything.
1:41:08
>> You got beaten one race by a chick and
1:41:10
now that's your whole life
1:41:12
>> by a trans chick. That one, she went
1:41:14
nuts. That girl who lost who came in
1:41:16
fifth at a [ __ ] race by a trans
1:41:18
>> Hold on a second. That one's kind of
1:41:19
fair.
1:41:19
>> Yeah, that's a different she go. Why the
1:41:21
[ __ ] is this allowed?
1:41:22
>> Not 10 years later.
1:41:24
>> What are you talking about? [snorts]
1:41:24
>> She still made her life.
1:41:25
>> What are you a comic? Got beaten in a
1:41:27
race.
1:41:27
>> Not a comic.
1:41:28
>> He's talking about like your analogies.
1:41:30
Female athlete who lost to a trans
1:41:32
athlete.
1:41:32
>> She's going we should have laws about
1:41:34
this.
1:41:34
>> Which one? Oh, that's Riley Gains.
1:41:36
>> It's her whole [ __ ] personality now.
1:41:38
She didn't go to school for that. She
1:41:39
was on a track. One thing happened and
1:41:42
that she's like completely changed. Same
1:41:44
as when comics get cancelceled. It's
1:41:45
like, "Oh, it's all beautiful."
1:41:46
>> She actually had a good point because
1:41:47
not only did she not lose to that
1:41:49
person, the Leah guy, but tied. And then
1:41:53
the Leah guy got the trophy and not
1:41:55
>> No, no, but there's more to that.
1:41:57
>> No, they tied for fourth.
1:42:00
>> Yeah.
1:42:00
>> Fourth and fifth. And they go, "Hey, we
1:42:02
only have four trophies. We're going to
1:42:03
get killed if we don't give it to the
1:42:05
trans lady. Can we just send you one
1:42:07
later?"
1:42:07
>> Do you know how crazy that is, though?
1:42:09
Do you know how crazy that is? Get it.
1:42:10
Give it to a guy who pretended.
1:42:12
>> I'd be mad if that was at a [ __ ]
1:42:13
comedy competition that no one saw.
1:42:15
>> No, they'll say, "We'll send it to you
1:42:17
next week."
1:42:17
>> Well, wait. Why is the guy coming in
1:42:18
fourth? He should be one.
1:42:20
>> Yeah, for sure.
1:42:21
>> This guy sucks.
1:42:22
>> All of them lost.
1:42:22
>> Well, he sucked.
1:42:24
>> First, second, and third. And none of
1:42:25
these people involved came in first,
1:42:27
second, and third. First, second, and
1:42:28
third nobody cares about.
1:42:29
>> Fourth, and fifth is what they're
1:42:31
arguing about.
1:42:32
>> Wait, I I don't understand what your
1:42:34
argument is, though. Is like who cares?
1:42:36
is like, "Yeah, obvious."
1:42:37
>> No, no, no. To make it your whole life
1:42:38
after that is what you're saying about
1:42:40
cancelled comics where they they become
1:42:41
that thing.
1:42:41
>> I understand, but
1:42:42
>> she was going to school for not that and
1:42:46
now that's her job.
1:42:46
>> Here's what they're going to school for.
1:42:48
>> You're saying it changed your whole
1:42:49
trajectory.
1:42:50
>> What'd you go to school for, [ __ ]
1:42:51
>> English, literature, breaking down
1:42:53
analysis of life and stuff.
1:42:54
>> Are you doing well on that right now?
1:42:56
>> Yeah, pretty much.
1:42:57
>> Yeah, you're doing terrible. [laughter]
1:42:58
This moment right here that's failing
1:43:00
you.
1:43:01
>> No, you say these cancel comments go and
1:43:02
they can make that their whole life.
1:43:04
This chick is not doing that. She tied a
1:43:07
race for fourth and fifth and now that's
1:43:08
all she does for a living.
1:43:09
>> What is an example of a canceled comic
1:43:11
that's made it their whole life.
1:43:13
>> Like who what I don't want to name
1:43:15
anybody,
1:43:15
>> right?
1:43:16
>> But you we've just talked about that.
1:43:17
There's a lot of
1:43:18
>> I understand I understand what you're
1:43:19
saying.
1:43:20
>> Sort of.
1:43:20
>> Jew is on Netflix.
1:43:22
>> Jew's on Netflix.
1:43:22
>> It's on Netflix now. That is pretty cool
1:43:24
that Netflix bought it out on YouTube.
1:43:26
>> They didn't buy it. THEY'RE JUST PUTTING
1:43:27
IT UP.
1:43:29
>> [ __ ] JESUS.
1:43:32
It was already on YouTube.
1:43:34
No, I'm totally happy with it.
1:43:35
>> Can you keep it on YouTube as well or
1:43:36
you have to take it down? Hey, that's
1:43:38
very How many views did it have on
1:43:39
YouTube?
1:43:40
>> Millions.
1:43:41
>> 8 million.
1:43:42
>> 8 million. It should have been six.
1:43:44
>> That would have been great.
1:43:45
>> Shane at the creek is like 50.
1:43:47
>> That's insane.
1:43:48
>> Yeah. There's a Indian guy that broke
1:43:50
the record in a week.
1:43:53
>> Wow.
1:43:53
>> Oh, is that Indian comic put it up and I
1:43:56
somebody sent it to me and they're like,
1:43:57
he broke your record in a week.
1:43:59
>> Dang. 55.
1:44:00
>> Is it in Indian? Is it in Hindu?
1:44:02
>> Yeah. Is it the Canadian guy?
1:44:04
>> 50 languages.
1:44:05
>> Yeah, he's going crazy. So, there's
1:44:08
billions of them.
1:44:09
>> But how do you know with the This is a
1:44:11
thing with views these days, though.
1:44:13
There's companies that will jack your
1:44:15
views up.
1:44:16
>> Yeah, but that's
1:44:16
>> Sure. You got to pay for that.
1:44:17
>> Yeah, but you could pay for it, but you
1:44:19
could get millions of views that way.
1:44:20
>> You can see the difference in like we
1:44:22
always do this when we talk [ __ ] about
1:44:23
people who do it.
1:44:23
>> Engagement.
1:44:24
>> Yeah. They're like they're like 5
1:44:26
million views, 30 comments.
1:44:28
>> Right. What's up, bro? What's that
1:44:30
about? Right. Right. Right.
1:44:31
>> And what is a view? How much of you do
1:44:33
you have to watch for a view to count?
1:44:34
>> I think it's just a click and click off
1:44:36
counts as a view.
1:44:37
>> That's a good question.
1:44:38
>> The best is when you send someone uh
1:44:39
like an agent or something like a clip,
1:44:41
you know, for them to see and they go,
1:44:43
"We watched it. We're not happy with
1:44:44
it." And you look at it like, "It still
1:44:45
has zero views."
1:44:47
>> It's a private clip.
1:44:49
>> You definitely didn't watch it.
1:44:50
>> We liked it. We're not happy with it.
1:44:52
[laughter]
1:44:52
>> Or or more embarrassing when someone
1:44:54
sends you something like I just did.
1:44:57
That guy sent me something and I've
1:44:58
watched it 30 times. Oh, over and over.
1:45:00
>> And it's just me and he's going to see
1:45:02
all the views are just me [laughter]
1:45:04
going private private.
1:45:05
>> Oh, that's so sick.
1:45:07
>> Oh, that's so sick.
1:45:08
>> I feel bad for Young Comics. Everything
1:45:10
is about views, shares, number,
1:45:12
followers. How many followers do you
1:45:14
have? It's not even about funny.
1:45:16
>> Yeah, it's not. I still think it is
1:45:17
though.
1:45:18
>> It is.
1:45:18
>> I think eventually the cream rises, but
1:45:20
managers will literally be like, "We got
1:45:21
to hire this guy."
1:45:22
>> They don't know [ __ ]
1:45:23
>> Well, yeah.
1:45:24
>> It's kind of like the industry in
1:45:25
general. They're like, "How much money
1:45:26
did your movie make?" And then if they
1:45:28
don't mind getting an Oscar nomination,
1:45:30
but that's not what they're really in it
1:45:31
for.
1:45:33
>> I just with the comics today being
1:45:35
worried about you got to put out click
1:45:37
or clips, you got to do that. It's like
1:45:39
sure. Yeah. It's like do it, but it's
1:45:41
like
1:45:42
>> build an act.
1:45:43
>> I don't know. I comedians always have
1:45:45
excuses for why they're not successful,
1:45:47
which is fine. I did the exact same
1:45:49
thing,
1:45:49
>> but they're all like, "Well, this guy,
1:45:51
yeah, he's only got it cuz he put all
1:45:53
those clips out and did all It's like I
1:45:54
don't I don't know.
1:45:55
>> Whatever works. try to be funny and
1:45:57
>> yeah, who gives a [ __ ] why someone's
1:45:59
doing well? Who gives a [ __ ] of a
1:46:00
YouTuber selling out a comedy club? Who
1:46:02
[ __ ] cares? It's about you. What are
1:46:03
you doing
1:46:04
>> exactly?
1:46:04
>> Just do your [ __ ]
1:46:05
>> And I understand. Again, by the way, I
1:46:07
understand.
1:46:07
>> I [ __ ] loved that thing that you did
1:46:09
where you did that documentary showing
1:46:11
all the leading up to Boulder, the new
1:46:13
thing that you did. Did you watch that?
1:46:14
>> Yeah, it was great. The background.
1:46:16
Thanks.
1:46:17
>> It's great. And it's a great insight as
1:46:19
to like the development of bits. I
1:46:21
really enjoy it.
1:46:22
>> Appreciate it. I wish you were my dad,
1:46:24
>> by [laughter] the way. I could be your
1:46:25
dad.
1:46:26
>> Mark, I want you to know he told me that
1:46:27
behind your [clears throat] back
1:46:28
earlier.
1:46:29
>> Whoa.
1:46:29
>> Me and him were just sitting out there.
1:46:30
He was like, "You see that thing?" I was
1:46:32
like, "Fuck no, I'm not watching Mark's
1:46:33
shit."
1:46:33
>> Yeah, it's an hour long. [laughter]
1:46:34
It's good. I watch.
1:46:36
>> It's really good.
1:46:37
>> What on the way to the special?
1:46:38
>> Yeah, I did a 10 sold out at the Dallas
1:46:40
Improv and the special taped like a week
1:46:43
or two later. So, I was just tweaking
1:46:44
and fine-tuning and I filmed all the
1:46:46
bombs and all that [ __ ]
1:46:48
>> It's really great.
1:46:48
>> Cool. is really great because it's like
1:46:50
him in a bodega going over the bits like
1:46:52
reading drinking coffee reading over his
1:46:54
lines and then tweaking them and
1:46:56
changing them.
1:46:57
>> Yeah.
1:46:57
>> Yeah. Hour and 12 minutes.
1:46:59
>> Uh oh. Not the gay quote.
1:47:01
>> Gay. It's really good.
1:47:03
>> So yeah, go back.
1:47:06
>> The quote is relevant.
1:47:07
>> Struggle itself towards the heights is
1:47:08
enough to fill a man's heart. One must
1:47:10
imagine syphus.
1:47:15
The boulder boulder.
1:47:17
>> Did you do this? I didn't do that part.
1:47:18
>> Who did the director Pet
1:47:23
is a little pretentious for what this is
1:47:25
>> a little bit
1:47:28
sheath underwear.
1:47:29
>> Come back to Earth. Yeah.
1:47:30
>> Oh god. Mark, [laughter] why you have a
1:47:32
nice ass, you [ __ ] homo.
1:47:36
>> I'm clvicular.
1:47:37
>> Why you have [laughter] nice legs, you
1:47:38
[ __ ]
1:47:39
>> He micro fractures his butt cheeks.
1:47:41
>> I was deadly hung over there.
1:47:42
>> That's hilarious.
1:47:43
>> Just [ __ ] it out. But it's a great
1:47:45
uh it's really great for comics to see
1:47:46
especially young guys coming up like
1:47:48
what the process is like you know to see
1:47:50
a guy like you who's been in the game a
1:47:52
long time is really good. Yeah. See a
1:47:54
bunch of specials already see you
1:47:55
bombing and tweaking and showing
1:47:57
everybody the bits not working well and
1:47:58
then working really well.
1:48:00
>> Thanks. I appreciate it.
1:48:01
>> Yeah. There's this idea that
1:48:02
everything's magic
1:48:04
>> when you show them like their struggle.
1:48:05
They're like, "Oh, okay.
1:48:06
>> Just trial and error." Like I How many
1:48:08
times seen Louis bomb and you're like
1:48:09
this guy's the best ever. Why? Chris
1:48:12
Rock used to come to the store and the
1:48:14
the crowd would go nuts and he would
1:48:15
say, "Relax. It's not going to be that
1:48:16
funny."
1:48:17
>> Right. Right. Low.
1:48:18
>> He would tell them that because he was
1:48:19
just running material and trying to find
1:48:22
every possible angle and get laughs
1:48:24
occasionally and sometimes not and then
1:48:26
tweak it afterwards.
1:48:27
>> Yep. Yep. That's part of it. Bomb.
1:48:29
That's why Eddie Murphy can't come back
1:48:31
cuz I don't think he's willing to bomb.
1:48:32
>> I don't think he's willing to bomb.
1:48:33
>> Uh, you know, six months.
1:48:34
>> It's not even six months. It's years.
1:48:36
We've had this discussion on this
1:48:37
podcast. Play. Kelly. It's also it's the
1:48:40
velvet prison, the movies, the [ __ ]
1:48:43
craft service, getting picked up in a
1:48:45
limo.
1:48:46
>> It's like the grind of writing your own
1:48:48
material, putting it all together,
1:48:49
everything riding on your back. Like
1:48:51
that is a warriors game and some people
1:48:53
don't want to do that anymore.
1:48:54
>> It's also like you got to do a Tuesday
1:48:56
at the stand where there's 19 people.
1:48:58
>> I also understand older comics back in
1:49:00
the day not wanting to do it cuz movies
1:49:03
were so much more lucrative.
1:49:05
>> Oh yeah. And stand up now. Standup is 10
1:49:07
times more lucrative. Good point. And
1:49:09
it's like, dude, do standup.
1:49:11
>> Yeah.
1:49:11
>> Like just do stand. I mean,
1:49:14
>> a couple people back then go, I would
1:49:15
take a pay cut if I did a sitcom. And it
1:49:17
was like a couple people. And now it's
1:49:19
like kind of everybody.
1:49:20
>> Yeah.
1:49:20
>> You'd have to make Seinfeld money like
1:49:22
season 7 and beyond to go, I'll take off
1:49:25
the road for this guy.
1:49:26
>> And now there is no Seinfeld money. It
1:49:29
doesn't exist. Miss Pat is the only
1:49:31
person with a sitcom right now.
1:49:32
>> No. What about this guy?
1:49:33
>> BT.
1:49:34
>> Oh, that's right. But you have Tires is
1:49:36
different though cuz it's a single
1:49:37
camera. Like Tires is like a show. It's
1:49:40
a show. It's a great funny show. But
1:49:43
it's like there's a difference between
1:49:45
the the the thing that everybody wanted
1:49:47
was the live audience for camera. You do
1:49:50
it on NBC, CBS, you get residuals. That
1:49:53
was like the golden carrot that they
1:49:55
hung over your head.
1:49:56
>> Stand up. Stand up couldn't pay.
1:49:58
>> No, nobody did anything but clubs back
1:50:00
then. It was like dice clay and weird
1:50:03
and then afterwards it was Dane Cook.
1:50:04
>> We saw a billboard of a poster. His
1:50:06
thing's like a museum and a poster for
1:50:08
Evening of the Improv with him and Chris
1:50:10
Rock.
1:50:10
>> Who's that?
1:50:11
>> Uh David Spade.
1:50:12
>> Oh wow.
1:50:13
>> And uh I was there with Nate. And and he
1:50:14
goes, "Uh you did like club for this."
1:50:16
And he goes, "Bro, we only did clubs.
1:50:19
None of us ever did theaters back then.
1:50:20
If we were really good, you do six days
1:50:22
at a club." But
1:50:22
>> Carlin did theaters. Yeah. Legends did
1:50:25
theaters.
1:50:25
>> Dice did MSG once.
1:50:27
>> Yeah. Steve Martin a couple times. Oh,
1:50:29
Dice did MSG many times. He did Nassau
1:50:31
Coliseum. Dice did Dice was doing two
1:50:34
nights in a row actually [clears throat]
1:50:36
places when no one was doing it. Dice
1:50:38
was the original stadium act.
1:50:41
>> But then it was no one until Dane,
1:50:43
>> right?
1:50:43
>> Between Dice and Dane. There was nobody.
1:50:46
>> And now people are playing at De Mo.
1:50:47
They're playing the arenas.
1:50:49
>> Yeah, it's not that many guys.
1:50:50
>> I mean, it's probably at least 20
1:50:52
>> compared
1:50:53
>> arenas. Margotsi, Kevin,
1:50:55
>> Sebastian, Tom
1:50:56
>> regularly,
1:50:57
>> Hinchcliffe, Lou.
1:50:59
>> Well, hold on, fellas.
1:51:01
>> Let's not diminish it. [laughter]
1:51:02
>> No, you Sebastian. Gabriel, Gabriel.
1:51:06
>> Gabriel doing giant Joe Koy. Giant
1:51:09
places
1:51:10
>> Matt Matt Rfe giant places
1:51:15
doing arenas.
1:51:16
>> I met a guy I met a guy Indian kid
1:51:17
outside New York comedy club.
1:51:18
>> Indian kids will do something.
1:51:19
[laughter]
1:51:19
>> And I was like, "Oh, what are you doing
1:51:20
in town?" He goes, "Go doing comedy."
1:51:21
He's like, "Oh, it's cool, man. What are
1:51:22
you playing?" And he goes, "MSG,
1:51:24
>> that doesn't count."
1:51:25
>> I was like, "What?
1:51:26
>> Indians don't count?
1:51:27
>> Congratulations." [laughter]
1:51:28
Indians don't count. Indians count as
1:51:29
much as Christian movies counts in the
1:51:30
box office.
1:51:31
>> Yeah.
1:51:32
>> Like you'll be top 10 every time. It
1:51:33
doesn't removal.
1:51:36
>> That's hilarious. [laughter]
1:51:38
>> Yeah. There's pro how probably 10 10 12
1:51:41
you know
1:51:42
>> 10 to 20 arenas.
1:51:44
>> You see on it.
1:51:45
>> We're doing arena every once in a while.
1:51:46
>> Refe looks Matt Refe doing a lot.
1:51:49
>> Yeah. It's a matter of whether you want
1:51:51
to do arenas all the time.
1:51:52
>> The point is way more than no one
1:51:54
between Dne and Dice,
1:51:56
>> right? For sure. Yeah, for sure. Because
1:51:58
comedy is so big now.
1:51:59
>> Yeah. And there's a ton of guys doing
1:52:01
1500 seaters.
1:52:02
>> Yeah.
1:52:02
>> Yeah. A lot of them. Oh, Schultz, I
1:52:04
think, does arena. I don't know if he's
1:52:05
regular.
1:52:05
>> Oh, he does regular arenas. Yeah, he
1:52:07
does arenas regularly. Whenever he
1:52:09
wants.
1:52:09
>> Whenever he wants.
1:52:10
>> Bert.
1:52:11
>> Tom Bert. Yeah. Tom. Yeah, there you go.
1:52:13
>> Tony. There's a lot of people doing
1:52:14
arenas now.
1:52:15
>> Mostly guys from my storytelling show.
1:52:17
Oh,
1:52:18
>> which is also online behind a payw wall.
1:52:22
>> And these these three guys are on it.
1:52:24
Arena comic.
1:52:25
>> Nice.
1:52:25
>> Theater comic club almost sells out
1:52:27
Saturdays. [laughter]
1:52:30
>> Denver likable.
1:52:35
[laughter]
1:52:36
>> Yeah. Tony, Nate, who? We had a bunch.
1:52:38
You, Tony, Nate, Tom.
1:52:41
Four arena comics.
1:52:42
>> That's wild. The three private jets were
1:52:44
at that show. That's insane. And we got
1:52:47
paid 500 bucks.
1:52:48
>> I got a story. You can cut this out. You
1:52:49
can cut this out if you want. Cut back
1:52:51
in.
1:52:51
>> And we're back.
1:52:52
>> We're back. [laughter]
1:52:53
>> You shouldn't be mad.
1:52:55
>> It was It stunk.
1:52:56
>> I wouldn't want to do that.
1:52:57
>> It stunk.
1:52:58
>> Well, that last
1:52:58
>> We need a transition. We need a
1:53:00
transition.
1:53:00
>> Let's go back. That last 911.
1:53:03
>> Yeah.
1:53:04
>> What? What was that sound?
1:53:06
>> Go, baby. Go.
1:53:09
[ __ ] yeah.
1:53:10
>> Oh, look at the gay Ayatollah.
1:53:14
>> [ __ ] yeah. Freedom.
1:53:17
>> Freedom is the only way.
1:53:18
>> Stretch of hormones.
1:53:19
>> Iran needs to understand freedom is the
1:53:21
only way.
1:53:23
>> [ __ ] the regime.
1:53:24
>> We're coming back, brother.
1:53:26
>> We're bombing everybody, brother.
1:53:28
[laughter]
1:53:28
>> America, we need to bomb everybody. [ __ ]
1:53:30
healthcare. Homeless people.
1:53:32
>> Dude, I'll tell you, I met so many
1:53:33
people who [ __ ] on America when I was
1:53:34
traveling. It made me more
1:53:36
nationalistic.
1:53:37
>> I couldn't agree more, dude. If I go to
1:53:38
another country and somebody's like,
1:53:40
"Ah, you guys are blah blah blah." I go,
1:53:41
"Dude, you guys are doing nothing.
1:53:43
>> Me and you, we need healthare. We're
1:53:45
doing we're [ __ ] up. Somebody's like,
1:53:46
"Why don't you guys have healthcare?"
1:53:47
I'm like, "Why don't you shut your mouth
1:53:48
cuz we have stealth bombers, bitch."
1:53:50
>> All the Australians like, "You treat
1:53:52
your minorities bad." I'm like, "You
1:53:53
wiped yours out."
1:53:54
>> Yeah.
1:53:54
>> Yes. We have football. Blow me.
1:53:56
>> Yeah. [laughter]
1:53:57
>> Yeah. We have college football. We have
1:53:59
college points. Solid points by
1:54:01
everybody. Once you go to another
1:54:02
country, that's when you go.
1:54:04
>> Why don't you guys shut up?
1:54:05
>> Who's number two with standup comedy?
1:54:07
What country is number two?
1:54:08
>> England. England.
1:54:10
>> Jerves. Jimmy Carr. Those are two great.
1:54:12
Car is great.
1:54:12
>> Carr is a national international great.
1:54:15
Car is the best.
1:54:15
>> Steuart Lee
1:54:16
>> Carr is so good.
1:54:18
>> He was so good. He performed at the
1:54:19
mothership. He's running all these new
1:54:20
jokes. I was like, "This guy is a
1:54:22
[ __ ] dude. Great writer."
1:54:24
>> Just dominant and so calm.
1:54:26
>> So smart, man. Such a smart dude.
1:54:29
>> One of those bruskies. I'd like to get
1:54:30
involved with
1:54:31
>> What are you looking for this time,
1:54:32
>> man? Glass or can.
1:54:33
>> I would never waste a glass on a bong.
1:54:35
>> Shane Shane, [laughter] you haven't
1:54:36
changed at all.
1:54:37
>> I wish I could, brother. It's time to
1:54:39
change.
1:54:40
>> You don't want to change. I haven't
1:54:42
changed.
1:54:43
>> You have not. I don't think I have.
1:54:45
>> You can't go out as much.
1:54:46
>> You did change very little. You changed.
1:54:48
You changed. Yeah.
1:54:49
>> You changed in un unimportant ways.
1:54:51
You're more into hunting.
1:54:53
>> Well,
1:54:53
>> but like it's not like
1:54:54
>> archery. But that to me is like my way
1:54:58
of staying sane. You just got
1:54:59
>> I do a bunch of things like pool,
1:55:01
archery, martial arts. Those things just
1:55:03
keep me sane. I have to do some things
1:55:05
that keep me from going off the rails.
1:55:07
>> Yeah.
1:55:08
>> And staying off of Twitter.
1:55:09
>> Didn't you have a thing where
1:55:10
>> That's a big one.
1:55:11
>> Oh yeah. Did you have a thing where your
1:55:12
manager or business manager, one of them
1:55:14
was like, "Hey Joe, we got to when you
1:55:16
just started headlining, correct? I'm
1:55:18
wrong." We're like, "We got to have a
1:55:18
talk with you." And you're like, "What's
1:55:20
the matter?" And they're like,
1:55:21
>> "Buddy, we we don't want to get this out
1:55:22
of hand. We we know you have a gambling
1:55:24
addiction and we want to get you help."
1:55:25
And you're like, "What do you mean?"
1:55:26
Like, "You're blowing through money in a
1:55:28
way." And he goes, "No, I just love
1:55:30
lobster and steak."
1:55:31
>> Oh, I was eating steak and lobster every
1:55:32
night. [laughter]
1:55:33
My first my first development deal. My
1:55:36
manager thought that I had a gambling
1:55:37
problem cuz I was spending so much
1:55:39
money. And I'm like, "Bro, I'm eating
1:55:40
steak and lobster every night."
1:55:42
>> And he's like, "You're not worried at
1:55:43
all. You're going to run out of money?"
1:55:44
I'll go, "I'll make more money. We'll
1:55:46
figure it out." I'm like, "Once it
1:55:48
>> once we get in the gate?" Like, I I'm
1:55:50
one of those people that like if I
1:55:51
figured out how to get in the gate, I'm
1:55:53
going I'm going to keep my foot on the
1:55:54
gas. I'll be fine.
1:55:55
>> Joe, you brought so many openers with
1:55:57
you that we made more money than you.
1:56:00
[laughter]
1:56:02
>> We did the math once. Like, he's barely
1:56:03
making more than us.
1:56:04
>> But it was about fun.
1:56:05
>> It was so fun. It has to be about fun
1:56:08
because I did gigs with like local guys
1:56:10
and some of them were great. Like that's
1:56:12
how I got to meet Sabura, you know? I
1:56:14
mean, I met a bunch of guys who became
1:56:15
my friends that were like local guys,
1:56:17
but it was like one out of 10 and that
1:56:19
means nine times I'm in a town bored
1:56:21
watching TV, [ __ ] not enjoying myself
1:56:24
>> and them being sometimes they're mean.
1:56:26
>> Sometimes they they step on your
1:56:28
material on purpose.
1:56:30
>> Yeah. Sometimes they'll be like they'll
1:56:31
do the negging thing a woman will do
1:56:32
where she's like they'll like [ __ ] on
1:56:33
you on purpose like I don't know you
1:56:34
that I'm trying to be nice to you.
1:56:36
>> Well, there's a lot of weirdness cuz
1:56:37
you're the headliner and they're jealous
1:56:39
and they think they should be the
1:56:40
headliner.
1:56:41
>> You going to go do local material and
1:56:43
you're like all right.
1:56:43
>> Okay, buddy. [ __ ] [ __ ] [laughter]
1:56:45
>> There's a lot of
1:56:46
>> Hey, you should do this. Hey, let's
1:56:47
switch tomorrow.
1:56:48
>> You go on last.
1:56:50
>> But the gigs were always a party. We had
1:56:52
fun everywhere we went. We had fun.
1:56:55
>> Fun is key. Like I'll do fest and you
1:56:57
make what? $17. But you know, my
1:57:00
friend's like, "Ah, you make no money."
1:57:01
I'm like, "It's fun. It's a great
1:57:03
weekend."
1:57:03
>> We were I was trying to explain this to
1:57:05
guys in the [laughter]
1:57:08
>> one of Tony's agents was trying to pitch
1:57:10
this [ __ ] horrible idea. Not even
1:57:12
Tony's agent. [laughter]
1:57:13
>> Someone was trying to pitch this
1:57:14
horrible idea where Tony would take a
1:57:16
percentage of everybody's podcast that
1:57:18
was on Kill Tony. He was like, "No
1:57:20
[ __ ] way." Like and and I was like,
1:57:23
"That money, if you got it from them,
1:57:25
you wouldn't it wouldn't change the way
1:57:26
you feel. You would feel the same. You
1:57:28
wouldn't you wouldn't say, "I feel so
1:57:30
much better now that I have x more
1:57:32
dollars in the bank." But you would feel
1:57:34
like a piece of [ __ ] because you were
1:57:37
[ __ ] people over. It's you would pay
1:57:39
all that money back plus to not feel
1:57:42
that way.
1:57:42
>> To not feel bad. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Give
1:57:43
it all back.
1:57:44
>> You would to not be a piece of [ __ ]
1:57:46
It's like
1:57:47
>> there's nothing better than helping your
1:57:49
buddies.
1:57:49
>> Nothing better.
1:57:50
>> It's kind of the only nice thing.
1:57:51
>> Shane pays Shane pays people on the road
1:57:53
out of spite. [snorts]
1:57:56
>> What do you mean? I do it.
1:57:57
>> Like [laughter] Lev Lev was talking dumb
1:57:58
[ __ ] He was so [ __ ] couldn't get out
1:58:00
of his own fat way. And and he goes,
1:58:02
"No, clubs are better than arenas.
1:58:03
You're crazy." And Shane's like, "You've
1:58:04
never done an arena." He goes, "Dude,
1:58:07
you know how is all Jews?" He's like, "I
1:58:09
know what I'm talking about." And then
1:58:11
Shane out of spite, he goes, "I can give
1:58:13
you a a lot of cash to come over for me
1:58:16
on the road." And and Le's like, "Arenas
1:58:18
are better." And I I paid my rent for
1:58:20
the year.
1:58:22
[laughter]
1:58:23
>> Yeah, those those shows your crowds are
1:58:25
great. Those shows are so fun. You do 15
1:58:27
to 20. You just play the hits. It's a
1:58:28
great time.
1:58:29
>> Fun is fun. Fun is fun everywhere you
1:58:31
go.
1:58:32
>> And I play Xbox with a bunch of guys
1:58:33
from the NHL. [laughter]
1:58:36
>> Crazy. I I don't think I've had a woman
1:58:38
in my green room. It's just 15
1:58:40
[laughter] dudes.
1:58:41
>> Have a good time. We're
1:58:42
>> playing Xbox.
1:58:43
>> You can see the guy who owns Arena is so
1:58:45
disappointed, too. They come in thinking
1:58:46
it's going to be cool cuz stand up is
1:58:47
cool now. And they come in, it's me,
1:58:49
Soder, and Shane playing some [ __ ]
1:58:51
video game. It just smells like body
1:58:53
odor. And they're just like Chicken
1:58:55
nuggets and the rider. [laughter]
1:58:56
>> So my rider's chicken tenders in a case
1:58:58
of beer and an Xbox.
1:59:01
>> Second worst [laughter] pizza in town
1:59:02
and bring it.
1:59:06
>> But that video game you play brings
1:59:07
everybody in. It's a great icebreaker.
1:59:09
>> Yeah,
1:59:10
>> it's the hangout afterwards. I so many
1:59:12
memories of us like some town and just
1:59:14
going to anybody in the street like is
1:59:16
there a place to eat around here? Like I
1:59:17
don't know. Does it foc like what?
1:59:20
>> Yeah.
1:59:20
>> Well, all you need is us like in a green
1:59:22
room sometimes. I'm like I don't even
1:59:23
want to go to the bar. This is the best.
1:59:24
It's the hang. The hang is everything.
1:59:26
>> Yeah. At the at the mothership, it was
1:59:27
like whenever it was like, "We're going
1:59:28
under Mitsys." I'm like, "Nah, this is a
1:59:30
great place here. We got liquor right
1:59:33
here."
1:59:33
>> Yeah. But Mitsy's once once it clears
1:59:36
out is perfect.
1:59:37
>> Yeah.
1:59:37
>> Well, once the the regular people are
1:59:39
out. Yeah.
1:59:40
>> Yeah. Once the once the crowd leaves.
1:59:41
>> Well, that's the cool thing about
1:59:42
Mitsy's. It becomes a private club after
1:59:44
11.
1:59:45
>> That's nice.
1:59:46
>> Always lose my voice in there, though.
1:59:48
>> Oh, same. Well, Tonyy's chain smoking.
1:59:51
>> He's chain smoking. Everybody's drinking
1:59:53
music playing. [laughter]
1:59:54
>> He's like, I'll tell you.
1:59:57
>> Tony needs a cigarette extender.
1:59:58
>> Lesson may [laughter]
2:00:00
genius.
2:00:01
>> His ability to write roast jokes is
2:00:04
extraordinary. It's very weird.
2:00:06
>> I gave him an angle yesterday on the on
2:00:08
the
2:00:09
>> Can we say
2:00:10
>> what
2:00:11
>> is he on the roast?
2:00:12
>> Oh, yeah. I think I just gave him an
2:00:14
angle. I was like, "What about this?" He
2:00:15
goes, "Ooh." I'm like, "Something like
2:00:16
this?" He goes, "Yeah, but wittier than
2:00:18
that." Yes. And I'm like, "Yeah, I don't
2:00:20
know how to write a joke." Well, as soon
2:00:21
as you go like they're there.
2:00:22
>> Yeah, they're like, "Yeah, now you do."
2:00:24
You're like, "Those jokes are there."
2:00:25
[laughter]
2:00:25
>> He thinks in like that kind of joke like
2:00:28
roast joke form. Like that's how like
2:00:30
he's so fat he like that's how his mind
2:00:33
works. [laughter]
2:00:34
>> It's really fun to watch. It's like I
2:00:36
cuz I don't that muscle is a different
2:00:38
muscle.
2:00:38
>> It's a different muscle.
2:00:39
>> Both your guys was good yesterday.
2:00:41
>> It was funny watching them do a going to
2:00:44
be a massive thing ahead of time for a
2:00:46
crowd. The crowd's like this is so cool.
2:00:48
>> Yeah. Well, it's cool cuz they get to
2:00:49
see it worked out and they're going to
2:00:50
get to see it live. The jokes
2:00:51
>> and you get to see people go on that
2:00:54
one.
2:00:54
>> I'm very happy with the jokes
2:00:55
>> and you're going out cold, right? You
2:00:56
got to open it.
2:00:57
>> Yeah, that's tough.
2:00:58
>> I'm worried about uh I don't think I'm a
2:01:01
good host
2:01:02
>> as far as the Hey everybody, we're on
2:01:04
live on Netflix. Welcome to the I don't
2:01:06
think I'm going to be able to do that.
2:01:07
I'm going to go all right, [ __ ] that. Uh
2:01:09
>> just be my joke.
2:01:11
>> It don't matter once you start talking
2:01:13
it's all good,
2:01:14
>> dude. There's a video I saw Wayan
2:01:15
Jennings Jr. I think it was him and
2:01:17
they're doing a like a roast like a
2:01:19
barbecue and they're like we're here
2:01:21
waiting for him to show up and he's been
2:01:22
barbecuing into this thing for the last
2:01:23
you know 14 hours and then they they
2:01:25
come in some lady's like interviewing
2:01:27
like so we're ready for your roast goes
2:01:28
oh that's not mine [laughter] he was
2:01:30
like no she was like what do you mean go
2:01:33
no that's a TV thing [laughter] like
2:01:35
what goes no mine would be on the ground
2:01:36
and we'd have like moonshine and she
2:01:38
goes for the base thing no for fun while
2:01:40
we're waiting for the meat to come out
2:01:43
>> just like ruin the TV version of it like
2:01:45
no That's a lie.
2:01:47
>> Yeah, I got kicked off of Last Comic
2:01:48
Standing for that cuz they they they put
2:01:50
you in a room and they're like, they
2:01:51
want you to have drama. They're like,
2:01:52
"What do you think? Who are you going to
2:01:53
beat?" And I'm like, "I'm probably going
2:01:54
to lose." And they're like, "No, no, no.
2:01:55
You got to like talk shit." I'm like,
2:01:56
"Oh, they don't want me on here. I'm
2:01:58
going to bomb." And they're like, "What
2:01:59
are you doing? You're ruining the show."
2:02:01
>> They want you to be like, "Fuck that
2:02:03
guy. I'm going to take him down."
2:02:04
>> Just say, "Hey guys." Well, anyway, we
2:02:05
know what this I don't know how you
2:02:06
would do it. That's a tough part. That's
2:02:08
a hard part.
2:02:09
>> I'll do it. There's just a couple jokes
2:02:11
that I'm like, I know they're funny, but
2:02:12
it's like, man, that's going to be tough
2:02:15
to tell publicly.
2:02:16
>> You You [laughter] had a couple jokes in
2:02:18
there that were like, you can hear the
2:02:20
reaction of like laughter or like, oh,
2:02:23
>> and that's a [ __ ] mothership crowd.
2:02:25
>> Yeah, exactly. [laughter]
2:02:27
>> A bunch of people that are like, I paid
2:02:28
good money to see somebody be racist
2:02:30
tonight.
2:02:32
>> And they're like, [laughter] bro, calm
2:02:33
down.
2:02:35
>> It's hilarious.
2:02:36
>> The black jokes go hard.
2:02:37
>> The black jokes go hard. They do. But
2:02:40
hey, you know, it's a rose. This is this
2:02:41
is what we this is what we want to see.
2:02:42
>> I know, but I got to go [ __ ] first.
2:02:44
That's true.
2:02:45
>> Yeah, the MCing is tough because you
2:02:46
haven't MCed in forever.
2:02:47
>> But is is Kevin Hart going to be there?
2:02:49
>> MCing. I've never done anything. But
2:02:51
like when he's when he's out%
2:02:54
he has to be there.
2:02:54
>> If he's laughing, you're golden.
2:02:56
>> He'll laugh. Oh, he'll laugh at
2:02:57
everything.
2:02:58
>> Yeah. So the black jokes with the black
2:03:00
guy laughing, you're you're good to go.
2:03:01
>> Yeah. I'm not It's more the
2:03:04
>> internet.
2:03:04
>> How you guys doing?
2:03:05
>> The crowd.
2:03:06
>> Oh,
2:03:07
>> cuz it's in LA. I am going to be it's
2:03:09
going to be live and I'm going to say
2:03:10
some pretty offensive things and then
2:03:12
I'm going to have to stay in the pocket
2:03:13
of being like I know the people at home
2:03:15
like this.
2:03:16
>> Yes.
2:03:16
>> But now an entire room of famous people
2:03:19
don't like me.
2:03:21
>> Dude, they're going to kill.
2:03:23
>> On paper it sounds easy.
2:03:24
>> I get it. I get it,
2:03:25
>> bro. I know people in the WNBA like
2:03:27
people that work in like management and
2:03:29
the and the and the players
2:03:30
>> and I was going to war over your SP
2:03:33
thing.
2:03:34
>> Yeah. What were they saying?
2:03:35
>> They were not happy with it at all.
2:03:37
Well, they seem like not happy with it.
2:03:38
>> They seem like a grumpy bunch anyway.
2:03:40
[laughter]
2:03:40
>> Not happy with They go, "You got to know
2:03:42
you're playing for it." And I was like,
2:03:43
"Right to me at home watching." Yeah.
2:03:45
And they go, "That's not. We're the
2:03:46
audience." I'm like, "No, you're in the
2:03:48
in the room. We're all at home
2:03:49
laughing." And we thought it was
2:03:50
hilarious.
2:03:51
>> Like, she didn't even know this lady's
2:03:53
name. It was like,
2:03:54
>> "Well, that's the point of the day."
2:03:56
>> But the the ESP was a good training
2:03:58
ground.
2:03:59
>> Is great. I was nervous and awkward on
2:04:00
that.
2:04:01
>> No, but it got 10 million views or
2:04:03
whatever. Anyway, it's for the internet.
2:04:05
America.
2:04:07
[ __ ] yeah.
2:04:10
The [ __ ] day.
2:04:12
>> What night is the roast? Just so
2:04:14
>> Sunday.
2:04:14
>> Uh, Sunday.
2:04:15
>> Oh, [ __ ] I want
2:04:16
>> I'm going.
2:04:17
>> Damn.
2:04:17
>> Where you at? The first one?
2:04:18
>> I'm getting there Tuesday.
2:04:20
>> Oh, no. Next.
2:04:21
>> Why don't you go there early?
2:04:22
>> What do you get?
2:04:23
>> I get there Sunday and then
2:04:24
>> it's the 10th.
2:04:25
>> It's the next Sunday.
2:04:26
>> Oh, okay. Okay. All right.
2:04:29
>> I think I have a gig.
2:04:30
>> Me and Lewis got matching Legion of
2:04:31
Skanks outfits.
2:04:32
>> Oh. Oh, you're on the team now. You're
2:04:35
you're a member of the gangst
2:04:37
with with Jay.
2:04:38
>> Does this stop you from moving to UK?
2:04:41
>> Unfortunately, it does.
2:04:42
>> Good. Thank God. [ __ ] those lines.
2:04:44
>> Not even unfortunately. This is a
2:04:46
massive opportunity for me creatively.
2:04:48
I've This is like a dream. I've been
2:04:50
gone for the [ __ ] Mossad plant to got
2:04:52
out of there.
2:04:53
>> The MSAD [laughter] couple.
2:04:55
>> So, I was like, oo,
2:04:57
>> yeah, maybe I'll stab.
2:04:58
>> Yeah, it'll be fun.
2:04:58
>> Yeah, you have to. [ __ ] going to
2:05:00
England. They were going to stab you
2:05:01
anyway.
2:05:01
>> You left enough. [laughter]
2:05:04
That's true. They'll stab you. They do
2:05:06
get stabby overab.
2:05:07
>> Getting stabbed would [ __ ] blow dick.
2:05:10
>> Suck. You're right there with the guy,
2:05:12
too. At least a gunshot.
2:05:13
>> Gunshot could be like, "Where did it
2:05:14
even come from?"
2:05:14
>> Some distance like, "I know.
2:05:17
>> It's you. I hate you." [laughter]
2:05:19
>> Right.
2:05:22
>> Yeah. Anyway,
2:05:23
>> you're better off.
2:05:23
>> Yeah, you're better off. I think it's
2:05:25
good. It's divine.
2:05:26
>> Well, nothing's better off than skanks.
2:05:28
>> Yeah.
2:05:28
>> There you go. It's What is it? 15 years
2:05:30
running.
2:05:32
>> Yeah. This is perfect for you, Ari.
2:05:33
>> It's the It's my show.
2:05:35
>> England's not perfect for you.
2:05:36
>> Vice president.
2:05:36
>> Although, it's weird seeing you tied
2:05:38
down to something.
2:05:39
>> Yeah, [clears throat] it is.
2:05:39
>> I've never seen you.
2:05:41
[laughter]
2:05:41
>> Well, you got to do it once a week.
2:05:43
>> When Shane and I ran for president and
2:05:44
vice president, we'll get into another
2:05:46
episode, but it was the log line was
2:05:48
until one of us betrays the other. Until
2:05:50
[laughter] one of us double crosses the
2:05:51
other one. [gasps]
2:05:52
>> We didn't.
2:05:53
>> We didn't. Only because you found out
2:05:56
Lewis was going to [ __ ] with me and you
2:05:57
double crossed him.
2:05:58
>> Yes,
2:05:59
>> dude. That was nice.
2:06:00
>> Of course. I would never do I'm not
2:06:01
going to let my present go down like
2:06:03
that. I'm JD Vance, bro. [laughter]
2:06:05
>> I'm Vance.
2:06:06
>> Underrated something that happened in co
2:06:07
is Shane. Uh, we're like we're making a
2:06:10
[laughter]
2:06:11
>> I you guys were making the biggest
2:06:13
mistake comedically.
2:06:15
>> I was so mad. There was a video going
2:06:17
around of of all these stars singing
2:06:19
some like Beatles song. Imagine. Yeah.
2:06:22
Imagine there's no heaven.
2:06:24
>> So Louis's idea was like, let's do
2:06:26
something making fun of it. We'll all
2:06:28
sing a song with the sickness. down with
2:06:30
the sickness and we'll make a video. And
2:06:32
I was like, "Oh, I'll I'll edit it."
2:06:33
>> So, we just got to sing,
2:06:35
>> but I need every single one of you to
2:06:36
sing the full song
2:06:37
>> and I can choose
2:06:38
>> and then I'll pick and then I just have
2:06:40
a full video of every single one of
2:06:42
these dumb asses singing that [laughter]
2:06:43
song. And I was like, first off, the
2:06:44
idea was not funny. That is gay. I will
2:06:46
not.
2:06:47
>> I was doing it as a favor to Lewis. I
2:06:49
was like, if you think this is good, and
2:06:51
then Shane Shane called me goes, how how
2:06:54
bad will your retaliation be if I
2:06:56
release your video?
2:06:57
>> [laughter]
2:06:57
>> I was like, "Dude, I didn't put anyone's
2:06:59
videos." I was like, "Bro,
2:07:01
>> you have right now. Send it to
2:07:02
>> J comedian. You should do it. I will
2:07:05
scorch the earth to get back.
2:07:06
>> Send to Jamie right now."
2:07:09
>> Do you have it categorized?
2:07:11
>> I was. And I kept trying to like like
2:07:14
[snorts] it was hard to make sure they
2:07:16
did it seriously. So, I was like, "No,
2:07:18
like don't [ __ ] around. It would be
2:07:19
funnier if you guys are like really
2:07:20
singing as the best you can." You [ __ ]
2:07:23
around in yours.
2:07:24
>> I did. Oh, thank God. But I mean it's
2:07:27
still a horrific and embarrassing video.
2:07:29
>> That whole thing was karaoke.
2:07:31
>> Imagine there's no heaven while granny
2:07:34
just died of co.
2:07:35
>> Also, it's like this is this is like
2:07:37
it's a war song.
2:07:39
>> Yeah.
2:07:40
>> It's a war and religion song.
2:07:41
>> Yeah.
2:07:42
>> What are we doing?
2:07:43
>> Very that was a very strange time where
2:07:45
people just got into smelling their own
2:07:47
farts.
2:07:49
>> Well, the co hit and actors had no juice
2:07:51
anymore. They were like, "Oh, we got to
2:07:52
stand out.
2:07:53
>> Please don't." Oh my god. The real one,
2:07:55
the one that I imagine video.
2:07:57
>> I can't watch this.
2:07:58
>> Throwing it up for you guys to see.
2:07:59
>> Actors really made themselves worthless.
2:08:02
>> Yeah, I can't.
2:08:03
>> Okay, we can't sing it.
2:08:04
>> The Beatles are probably
2:08:05
>> Sarah Silverman being all serious.
2:08:07
>> She's like, "What stars are in this?
2:08:08
I'll do it."
2:08:09
>> Oh, she was being joked.
2:08:10
>> I don't know who that is.
2:08:11
>> Who is that?
2:08:13
>> Timothy Shalomé.
2:08:14
>> What's wrong with his teeth?
2:08:15
>> Oh, Fallon. Oh, Fallon.
2:08:17
>> He's an opener now.
2:08:20
[laughter]
2:08:21
>> You can kind of hear it. Oh, [ __ ]
2:08:24
insane.
2:08:24
>> This is worse than being like Epste.
2:08:26
>> Get an iPhone clamp.
2:08:27
>> God, actors.
2:08:30
>> So [ __ ] weird.
2:08:31
>> Well, they're not as important as they
2:08:32
used to be. So they're like, "Oh, this
2:08:34
will be about they were like, I'm not
2:08:36
getting attention. Let's just do it
2:08:37
ourselves." And you're like, "You guys
2:08:38
can't do this."
2:08:39
>> The worst was the black and white one
2:08:41
when they're like, "I am ashamed of my
2:08:43
whiteness."
2:08:44
>> Yeah.
2:08:44
>> That wasn't even a song. That was just
2:08:46
them talking.
2:08:47
>> The blackm
2:08:50
BLM Brian. There's so many good ones.
2:08:52
>> You do.
2:08:53
>> It's so good. Da da da. I gota going.
2:08:58
[laughter]
2:08:58
>> Send that to Jamie right now. Send that
2:09:00
to Jamie right now.
2:09:01
>> D. Roa will get sincere.
2:09:02
>> D. Roa gets sincere. Especially when
2:09:04
he's drunk. Dude, you're such a good
2:09:05
friend. I'm like, "Shut up, cat.
2:09:08
>> You're [laughter] adopted. Shut up.
2:09:09
>> Shut up. I would never be friends with
2:09:10
an adopted guy.
2:09:12
>> You Egyptian weirdo."
2:09:13
>> Everybody was like trying to be silly,
2:09:15
but the bit sucked so bad.
2:09:17
>> I was so happy when you guys were doing
2:09:18
I was at Stan Hopes when this was going
2:09:20
on. Oh my god. I didn't get the drunken
2:09:22
like you guys suck.
2:09:24
>> You [laughter] killed us.
2:09:25
>> Me and Stan over hammered.
2:09:27
>> You killed how much these dudes suck.
2:09:32
>> That [ __ ] blew, dude. I can't believe
2:09:34
you guys did that.
2:09:35
>> How much you got left in there?
2:09:36
>> It's such a weird thing where people
2:09:37
decide to do things to make themselves
2:09:39
look like they care.
2:09:41
>> Look like they care. That's the thing
2:09:43
about Hollywood. They want to look like
2:09:44
they care
2:09:45
>> and it's so [ __ ] transparent. That's
2:09:48
always a bummer you get that text like,
2:09:49
"Hey, can you make a video for this?"
2:09:50
I'm like, "Ah, it's going to ruin my
2:09:52
whole day because you like have to think
2:09:54
about it and spend time on it.
2:09:55
>> It's a nightmare."
2:09:56
>> Change your number.
2:09:57
>> Yeah. Like, can you help me with this?
2:09:59
>> You get You get one or two of those.
2:10:00
Change your number.
2:10:01
>> There we go. Jojo Rabbit.
2:10:04
>> Music, please.
2:10:04
>> Music, please.
2:10:06
>> Oh, it's going to be cold. [music]
2:10:08
>> Woo! He's back, baby.
2:10:11
>> I
2:10:15
mushroom. Yeah. Congrats. Congrats on
2:10:17
the Ivy game, bro. That's sick,
2:10:18
>> dude. That is such a win. That is such a
2:10:21
gigantic win.
2:10:23
>> They're going to reschedule the
2:10:24
psychedelics and have them available to
2:10:26
people.
2:10:27
>> But what's interesting is that all this
2:10:29
was done during the Nixon administration
2:10:30
to squash the civil rights movement,
2:10:33
>> civil rights movement, and the anti-war
2:10:34
movement.
2:10:34
>> Black people don't even like mushrooms.
2:10:36
>> And that was also one of the things that
2:10:37
I got to say.
2:10:38
>> Yeah, this is one of the things that I
2:10:39
got to say during the whole Trump thing.
2:10:41
>> You said black people don't like
2:10:42
>> I said, no, I didn't say that.
2:10:43
>> Okay. [laughter]
2:10:45
Black people don't like modern. I said
2:10:48
they love certain foods, but you can't
2:10:49
bring them up. I uh I said the these
2:10:53
things weren't made illegal. It was like
2:10:55
because it was all live. They couldn't
2:10:56
stop me from saying it. And Trump just
2:10:57
let me talk. So I said, "These aren't
2:11:00
illegal because they're harmful. They're
2:11:01
illegal because of the sweeping um
2:11:04
controlled substances act of the 1970s
2:11:06
and the Richard Nixon administration to
2:11:08
target the civil rights movement and the
2:11:09
anti-war movement.
2:11:10
>> That's why they made them illegal.
2:11:12
They're not illegal because they're
2:11:13
harmful. And the idea that they were
2:11:15
schedule one for all these years when so
2:11:17
many people are using them to quit
2:11:18
smoking, to quit drinking, to quit
2:11:20
drugs, to get their life together, to
2:11:22
like relax before they're dying. Like so
2:11:25
many people that are like filled with
2:11:26
anxiety cuz they're dying of cancer.
2:11:28
They take mushrooms and they're like, I
2:11:29
think I'm going to be okay.
2:11:30
>> Can you get [ __ ] up on Ibaane?
2:11:32
>> No, it's not recreational at all.
2:11:34
>> Oh, really? It's bad.
2:11:35
>> It's a bad experience.
2:11:37
>> What?
2:11:37
>> Yeah. It's not like a fun time,
2:11:38
>> but it's it's neurogenerative. like it
2:11:41
it helps people that have like Rick
2:11:42
Perry the the governor he had some sort
2:11:45
of like natural atrophy of his brain
2:11:47
that happens when you get older
2:11:49
>> within 6 weeks or so after doing it 25%
2:11:53
of the atrophy was gone 6 months later
2:11:55
100% of it was gone
2:11:57
>> what it's nuts it's it's very positive
2:12:01
but a bad feeling when you're doing it
2:12:03
>> who is this Perry Rick Perry the former
2:12:06
governor of Texas Republican governor
2:12:08
who is a staunch anti-drug guy his whole
2:12:10
life. And then he talked to all these
2:12:12
veterans that were using it to get off
2:12:14
of whatever opiates that they were on.
2:12:16
>> Let me try it in secret. Let me try it
2:12:18
in secret.
2:12:19
>> I don't know if it was, let me try it in
2:12:21
secret cuz he was open about talking
2:12:22
about it. And and he did it and he said
2:12:24
it changed his life, too. And he says,
2:12:26
"This is my life now. I'm dedicated to
2:12:28
trying to make this stuff legal."
2:12:30
>> So, it's kind of like Ozic. It makes you
2:12:31
stop doing stuff.
2:12:33
>> Well, Ompic is weird because it does
2:12:34
make you stop doing addictive things,
2:12:36
too. It does,
2:12:37
>> but it cuts down your sex drive, too. It
2:12:39
cuts down love. Like, you don't get
2:12:41
excited about stuff. Yeah. People are
2:12:43
saying it keeps you from being
2:12:44
passionate about it.
2:12:46
>> Cuts down love.
2:12:46
>> It's just weird when you see, we were
2:12:48
talking about that lady, some of these
2:12:50
hot actresses that are doing it and they
2:12:52
don't need to do it. Drink it.
2:12:53
>> Be fat and horny.
2:12:55
>> Fat and horny. Yeah,
2:12:57
>> that's a good radio team. Fat and horny
2:12:58
in the morning. It's also girls don't
2:13:01
realize like a little bit of fat on them
2:13:03
is hot.
2:13:04
>> Yeah. Little jiggle. When girls are like
2:13:06
10 lb overweight, it's like when they
2:13:08
think they're overweight, you're like,
2:13:09
"Yeah."
2:13:10
>> Especially if they're confident with it.
2:13:12
Just gives them curves, makes sexy.
2:13:15
>> When you when they lose all that weight
2:13:17
and get that ompic face, it's like,
2:13:18
"What are you doing?"
2:13:19
>> Pull up Olivia Wild. You see her? She
2:13:21
looks like before you got here.
2:13:23
>> Oh man. [laughter]
2:13:25
>> Pull up her and a lemur. It's dead. The
2:13:27
eyes. It's dead on.
2:13:29
>> Who's Olivia Wild? She's a really
2:13:30
beautiful actress.
2:13:34
>> She's so fat at all, man. But she's been
2:13:38
>> Look how hot.
2:13:39
>> Gorgeous.
2:13:40
>> But now look at the most recent video of
2:13:42
her where Yeah. Look at that.
2:13:44
>> Now pull up a ringtail lemur if you can
2:13:46
find one.
2:13:46
>> I know exactly what a lemur looks like,
2:13:48
bro.
2:13:48
>> It's a cute little little nugget.
2:13:51
[snorts]
2:13:51
>> LOOK AT THAT. SAME EYES. [laughter]
2:13:54
>> SAME EYES.
2:13:55
>> WAIT, what happened to her? Did she just
2:13:57
hit the wall? No, there's no way. She
2:13:59
just hit the wall. She's She's still
2:14:01
fairly young.
2:14:01
>> How old is she?
2:14:02
>> And she was really hot. She was on a
2:14:04
some 42. She's
2:14:06
>> She was in house in 2007. She's older.
2:14:08
She's 20 years older than she was on
2:14:09
House.
2:14:10
>> Yeah, but dude, recently she looked
2:14:11
really hot.
2:14:12
>> Also, she's gorgeous.
2:14:14
>> Gorgeous.
2:14:15
>> No, I don't think it's the wall, dude.
2:14:16
>> Her real name is Cockburn. That's funny.
2:14:18
>> Okay, but does anybody know if she's
2:14:20
taken that stuff?
2:14:21
>> No, I don't think so.
2:14:22
>> That's not even Obzimpic. That's the
2:14:24
eyes. That's a different thing. Look at
2:14:26
the giant eyeballs.
2:14:28
>> We She might feel bad doing this.
2:14:30
>> I don't want to the lady epic.
2:14:34
>> It's still
2:14:36
I think it's a little bit of it is just
2:14:37
like just women have this thing where
2:14:40
they think they're supposed to be
2:14:41
skinny.
2:14:42
>> Yeah.
2:14:42
>> Oh, 42.
2:14:43
>> Well, they are.
2:14:44
>> Yeah, but dude, 42. Look at look at
2:14:46
[ __ ] what's her name? Jennifer Lopez.
2:14:49
>> Yeah. Yeah. Look at Outliers.
2:14:50
>> She's hot as [ __ ] That's a Puerto
2:14:52
Rican. Yeah. Look at LeBron, but
2:14:53
everybody else it goes out at 38.
2:14:56
>> Could you hand me one of those bruskies?
2:14:58
>> Absolutely, buddy. What are you
2:14:59
[laughter] looking for?
2:15:00
>> A bottle.
2:15:01
>> Hey, bottle rust.
2:15:02
>> This is sad that so many of these women
2:15:04
think that they have to be way.
2:15:09
I think it's just a bad picture. Bad
2:15:10
night or night.
2:15:13
>> I thought that was a great picture.
2:15:14
>> She's still beautiful. And she doesn't
2:15:16
even look remotely overweight.
2:15:17
>> Dude, Seth Rogan looks like a troll next
2:15:19
to her.
2:15:19
>> That's from two weeks ago. [snorts]
2:15:21
>> Two weeks. What?
2:15:22
>> Oh, no. That's just
2:15:23
>> fine. That was what
2:15:24
>> she might have been bad video.
2:15:26
>> Let's leave her alone. Leave her alone.
2:15:28
Leave her alone lady. Yeah, I was wrong.
2:15:30
You didn't hit the wall at all. A lot of
2:15:32
[ __ ]
2:15:32
>> You know what I like is uh the big fat
2:15:33
guys that need the ompic.
2:15:35
>> Need it.
2:15:36
>> Yeah.
2:15:36
>> Yeah.
2:15:36
>> I like that,
2:15:37
>> my friend. He's on the fat pill.
2:15:39
>> Some of them defeat it.
2:15:40
>> Yeah, I know a guy. We know a guy fully.
2:15:42
I didn't want to say plowed right
2:15:44
through.
2:15:45
>> How [laughter] did he do that? He just
2:15:46
keeps eating.
2:15:47
>> He has habits, dude. When we were doing
2:15:49
the 999,
2:15:50
>> he he three hot dogs in. We had nine hot
2:15:54
dogs, nine beers, and nine innings. And
2:15:55
by the way, pitch clock, so it's way
2:15:57
harder than when it was invented.
2:15:58
>> Although we did get there early. We got
2:15:59
there. Okconor had seven hot dogs before
2:16:02
the national anthem.
2:16:03
>> Conor Conor [laughter]
2:16:04
Okconor like what's your strategy? I'm
2:16:07
going to just chug these hot dogs. Chug
2:16:09
hot dogs. Passed out till the sixth.
2:16:11
[laughter]
2:16:11
Woke up. You didn't wake him up in the
2:16:13
night to be like, dude, you're too late.
2:16:14
You got to get it.
2:16:15
>> He got it. He was like, [laughter]
2:16:18
>> I'm a champion.
2:16:19
>> It's the bread. The salt gets you.
2:16:21
>> It's disgusting.
2:16:22
>> Yeah, but H Foley, three hot dogs in,
2:16:24
you look over, he's eating a cheese
2:16:26
steak.
2:16:27
>> He's getting other grare
2:16:34
[ __ ] how full I am. If you put a
2:16:37
cheese steak in front of me, I'm eating
2:16:39
that [ __ ]
2:16:39
>> It's like
2:16:40
>> There's a new place in Austin. There's a
2:16:42
food truck that Tony turned me on to
2:16:44
that has cheese steaks. Air just had
2:16:47
one. What is that place, Jamie? Do you
2:16:49
know the place?
2:16:50
>> Do you know what it is, Jamie?
2:16:51
>> Don't say it. We'll never get in again.
2:16:53
>> What's that?
2:16:53
>> No, not at all.
2:16:55
>> I think I think I saw it on uh on
2:16:57
Seamless. I almost got it all day. So
2:16:59
legit.
2:16:59
>> Is it on Sixth Street? Cuz the food
2:17:01
sucks over there.
2:17:01
>> This food sucks on Six. You got to go.
2:17:04
>> Yeah, it's a weird spot because it used
2:17:06
to be the Dirty Six. It was all just
2:17:07
like drunk people food. It didn't have
2:17:10
to be good.
2:17:10
>> Still, it's getting worse, dude.
2:17:12
>> But
2:17:12
>> you got Black Rabbit. That's it. But
2:17:14
there's a fog to chow a block away.
2:17:16
>> I think it might be R&B.
2:17:17
>> There's a Fogo de Chow block away from
2:17:18
the club.
2:17:19
>> Where?
2:17:20
>> It's It's down the street.
2:17:22
>> It's R&B.
2:17:23
>> It's on like second or third. I've never
2:17:25
seen Fogo. It's on Congress. So, it's
2:17:28
two blocks away.
2:17:29
>> Yeah. But it's not 36. It's way off.
2:17:31
>> Right. Right. But but it's it's not far.
2:17:34
I get what you're saying. It's still
2:17:35
downtown.
2:17:35
>> These are the guys. These are the guys.
2:17:37
>> I'm going there tonight. So, uh what is
2:17:39
it? What's the name of it?
2:17:40
>> R&B. R&B.
2:17:41
>> R&B Steak and Fries. Bro, I'm telling
2:17:44
you, their [ __ ] cheese steaks are so
2:17:46
legit. These guys brought them to the
2:17:49
the club and I was like and Tonyy's
2:17:52
like, "Dude, you got to try this." I was
2:17:53
like, "I'm not I'm not really hungry,
2:17:54
but let me I start one bite and I
2:17:57
scarfed it. I scarfed it."
2:17:59
>> Oh, they got the [ __ ] sauteed onions.
2:18:00
>> Oh, it's so good, dude. It's so good.
2:18:03
These guys are so And they're cool,
2:18:05
dudes.
2:18:06
>> Very, very, very legit.
2:18:07
>> Wait, go back up. I want to see his
2:18:08
nickname.
2:18:09
>> Boo.
2:18:09
>> Boo. [laughter]
2:18:11
>> Black guys rule.
2:18:13
Boo Bradley.
2:18:16
>> Man, it's almost time for Jeremiah Love
2:18:17
highlights.
2:18:19
>> Easy.
2:18:19
>> It's almost time, dude.
2:18:21
>> Jeremiah Love.
2:18:22
>> Oh, yeah.
2:18:22
>> Who that is?
2:18:23
>> I love that you're asking who that is.
2:18:25
>> What are we talking about here?
2:18:26
>> Is that politics?
2:18:28
>> No.
2:18:28
>> No. Football running back.
2:18:30
>> Jeremiah Love sounds like a football
2:18:32
player.
2:18:32
>> Yeah, it does.
2:18:33
>> He certainly is.
2:18:33
>> Yeah.
2:18:34
>> If he was a fighter, he'd probably quit
2:18:35
in the third round.
2:18:36
>> I don't know if a guy with that name
2:18:38
>> if he had autism or I think he does.
2:18:41
He's got at least OCD, but they they did
2:18:43
a nice docu like a before the game they
2:18:45
always like college game day always runs
2:18:47
like a a heartwarming story, but he had
2:18:50
like autism as a kid and they were like
2:18:52
we don't know what to do. And then we
2:18:53
got him in football and he was just a
2:18:55
[ __ ] animal. [laughter]
2:18:56
>> Oh wow.
2:18:56
>> He's just
2:19:00
so fast.
2:19:00
>> Wow. Look at him go.
2:19:01
>> Wow.
2:19:02
>> Look at looking at his own sideline.
2:19:04
>> Dude, autism is a superpower.
2:19:06
>> Well, you just got to channel it.
2:19:08
>> Tell me about it. You're going to like
2:19:09
this one. Norman talk speak on it.
2:19:12
>> Find a piano or comedy. I can speak
2:19:14
about Neanderl jeans. You can speak
2:19:16
about autism.
2:19:17
>> These guys are tackling wrong.
2:19:18
>> Look at him go, dude. Wow.
2:19:20
>> Trying to catch a guy.
2:19:21
>> You see him jumping over people.
2:19:23
>> These guys are tackling wrong. He's like
2:19:25
the correspondent shooter. Hey Jamie,
2:19:26
who is that guy that they just signed
2:19:28
from Africa? He's a 21-year-old guy
2:19:30
who's never played football before.
2:19:32
>> Philly did.
2:19:33
>> Yeah, he's with the Eagles. Football
2:19:35
[laughter] Football does that where
2:19:36
you're like, "As long as you got As long
2:19:38
as you got the skills, we got you."
2:19:40
>> That was a nice rolling for a second.
2:19:42
Look at that.
2:19:42
>> What a wiggle.
2:19:43
>> Oh my goodness.
2:19:44
>> All they got to do to tackle him is look
2:19:46
him directly in the eyes.
2:19:47
>> No.
2:19:47
>> Why?
2:19:48
>> Cuz autism hates that [ __ ] Don't you
2:19:50
ever shut the [ __ ] up. You look an
2:19:52
autistic guy in the eyes, please.
2:19:54
>> They don't look at you back though. It's
2:19:55
not going to work if he doesn't look at
2:19:56
you back.
2:19:57
>> He's just dodging. Do
2:19:58
>> you hate hugs? [laughter]
2:19:59
>> He's dodging a hug.
2:20:00
>> Hate a hug,
2:20:01
>> bro. HE GET AWAY FROM [screaming] GET
2:20:05
HIM. Get him. Get him. Take him down.
2:20:10
>> Right in the lips. He got tongue there
2:20:11
for the listeners.
2:20:12
>> Assault, brother. [laughter]
2:20:15
>> You should sue Joe.
2:20:18
>> His whole body was vibrating when I was
2:20:20
hugging him.
2:20:21
>> Good [laughter] lord. I mean,
2:20:22
>> that's how sick is touching,
2:20:25
>> bro. I love a great show. Show Joe him
2:20:28
jumping over some people.
2:20:29
>> Hey, what are you boys doing next
2:20:30
weekend?
2:20:31
>> Oh, I think I got a gig. What do you got
2:20:33
to next week is a roast?
2:20:35
>> Next Saturday. Next Saturday.
2:20:36
>> Oh yeah. At Netflix TD Garden
2:20:39
>> in Boston. Damn.
2:20:40
>> What are you doing?
2:20:41
>> UFC. The UFC in New Jersey.
2:20:44
>> Sean Strickland. Hamza Chamayv.
2:20:48
>> Bro, they they're not even going to have
2:20:49
a face off.
2:20:50
>> They're worried about putting them close
2:20:51
to each other cuz Shawn has talked so
2:20:54
much [ __ ]
2:20:55
>> He's a wild dude.
2:20:56
>> He's a wild dude. And that [ __ ] talking
2:20:58
that he does, it's emotional warfare cuz
2:21:02
like you'll think about the [ __ ] He
2:21:03
calls him a goat [ __ ] He's like he he
2:21:06
won't stop talking [ __ ]
2:21:08
>> No filter.
2:21:09
>> Sean Strickland said that he said if
2:21:11
those three goat [ __ ] he comes up to me
2:21:14
with three of his goats goats.
2:21:17
>> He said he Sean was like I'll shoot
2:21:18
them. I'll pull out my gun. I'll shoot
2:21:20
all three of them. And he's going like
2:21:21
this. Boom boom boom. Jesus.
2:21:22
>> He's talking so much [ __ ] But that it's
2:21:26
emotional warfare. It's like what Connor
2:21:28
used to do. What Connor did with Jose
2:21:30
Aldo. He had him so [ __ ] up before
2:21:33
that fight and he was just like so emo
2:21:35
because Aldo was a legend. Nobody talked
2:21:38
[ __ ] about him. Everybody was terrified
2:21:40
of him. And Connor was just constantly
2:21:42
talking [ __ ] about him. Stole his belt
2:21:45
at a press conference and like was
2:21:47
holding [laughter] it up. And by the
2:21:48
time the fight happened, Aldo was just
2:21:50
so worked up and Connor was just like
2:21:52
super relaxed and smiling. That's how
2:21:55
Roberto Duran beat Robinson because he
2:21:57
called his wife a horror.
2:21:58
>> Who's Robinson?
2:21:59
>> Sugar. Noonard. No, Leonard. Leonard.
2:22:02
Sorry, wrong. Dare you. It was he talked
2:22:05
Sugar Ray into fighting his kind of
2:22:07
fight. He literally like Do you think
2:22:10
Strickland can do that?
2:22:11
>> No.
2:22:11
>> Strickland is a
2:22:12
>> He's good, but he's not.
2:22:15
Strickland is one of the best fighters
2:22:17
on planet Earth. Make no mistake about
2:22:19
it. So is Hamza. But Strickland is also
2:22:22
a legitimate world champion. He's a guy
2:22:24
who's accustomed to five rounders. He's
2:22:26
got phenomenal cardio. He's one of the
2:22:28
hardest guys to hit in the sport.
2:22:29
>> But can he
2:22:31
>> 100% he has underrated grappling? Listen
2:22:36
to me as an expert. He's allegedly he's
2:22:38
one of the best take down. He's got some
2:22:40
of the best takedown defense in the
2:22:42
game. Underrated grappling. Strickland
2:22:44
has a legit chance.
2:22:45
>> Can I Can I just say this as someone
2:22:46
who's heard you talk about this kind of
2:22:49
stuff for many, many years. You give it
2:22:51
up more for the person you think is not
2:22:54
gonna win.
2:22:55
>> Oh, interesting.
2:22:56
>> Because you didn't say about Hamza in
2:22:58
this. You just said
2:22:59
>> No, no. I will tell you a lot about it's
2:23:01
obvious. So, you go, but don't count out
2:23:04
the underdog.
2:23:05
>> No, I'll say that eventually if you give
2:23:06
me a chance, you [ __ ] blabber out.
2:23:08
>> You stopped talking. [laughter]
2:23:09
>> Jesus, you stopped. You already made
2:23:12
your point. No, Tom's 100% can win. He
2:23:15
looked he dominated Drekus Dupacy like
2:23:17
he didn't even belong in there with him
2:23:19
and Drius was the world champion and
2:23:21
Drius had beaten Stron Sean Strickland
2:23:23
but the last time he beat Strickland in
2:23:25
the second fight Strickland they made
2:23:27
him fight he had a shoulder injury like
2:23:29
Strickland's a wild boy and he crashed
2:23:31
his dirt bike and [ __ ] his shoulder up
2:23:34
they oh he's an Strickland's an animal
2:23:36
and they allowed him I mean they forced
2:23:39
him I should say to fight
2:23:41
>> plus 340 damn
2:23:43
>> listen man I'm telling
2:23:44
He can win. Not only did he beat Adagna,
2:23:47
but the guy does not get tired.
2:23:49
Strickland has some of the best [ __ ]
2:23:50
cardio in the sport. He's one of the
2:23:52
hardest guys to hit. He's very clever
2:23:54
with his boxing. He's got one of the
2:23:56
best jabs in the sport. Strickland can
2:23:58
win this fight.
2:23:59
>> It's not saying he's going to win.
2:24:01
Hamzad is the best grappler at 185,
2:24:04
period.
2:24:04
>> If he gets him on the ground
2:24:05
>> and Hamzot can [ __ ] strike, too. It's
2:24:08
not just a grappler. He's an animal.
2:24:09
>> Well, I mean, that's what I mean with
2:24:10
the [ __ ] talk. He's maybe he's trying to
2:24:12
talk him into standing,
2:24:13
>> right? Or talk him into a war or talk
2:24:16
him into hitting the gas. Full clip
2:24:18
trying to take Aljine Sterling Aljine
2:24:21
Sterling did a video about this and
2:24:22
Aljine said, "Here's the thing. If
2:24:24
Hamzot tries to just run him over, tries
2:24:28
to just take him down, run him over,
2:24:29
submit him, and can't do it, then that's
2:24:32
a problem because then he gasses himself
2:24:34
out in the first round. This is a five
2:24:36
round fight. Strickland is notoriously
2:24:38
durable, notoriously in incredible
2:24:41
shape, and he's calm. He knows how to
2:24:44
fight in wars. Like he's he's like
2:24:46
accustomed to that, you know? He had a
2:24:49
very abusive childhood. He doesn't like
2:24:51
bullies. Like Strickland's he's a tough
2:24:53
nut, dude. Oh, yeah. In my mind, this is
2:24:56
like I would give Hans on fire me up.
2:24:58
>> Yeah, dude. This is a great fight, dude.
2:25:00
>> Have you heard his trans rant? This is
2:25:02
one Strickland is the best at [ __ ]
2:25:06
just talking wild [ __ ] at press
2:25:07
conferences.
2:25:08
>> He's a wild fellow. He was on the
2:25:11
podcast, too. He's fun, man. He's fun.
2:25:13
>> He gets so angry and worked up about
2:25:15
[ __ ] but he's [ __ ] fun.
2:25:16
>> You know what's fun?
2:25:17
>> Like now back. Fun whites.
2:25:20
>> Fun whites are coming back. Oh, he's one
2:25:22
of the funnest whites ever.
2:25:23
>> I I blame Ched Hanks. He brought it. He
2:25:25
broke it open.
2:25:26
>> Chad Hanks.
2:25:26
>> Yeah. White boy summer. The whites.
2:25:30
>> He's got a new accent. He broke that
2:25:31
accent. What's his new one?
2:25:32
>> I don't know. He dropped his old one. He
2:25:33
was like, "I'm done with that fakeness.
2:25:34
I got a new fakess."
2:25:35
>> Can you imagine it was Tom Hanks as your
2:25:37
dad?
2:25:37
>> That's wild.
2:25:38
>> You got that shadow.
2:25:40
>> Colin and Chad, they couldn't be more
2:25:41
opposite.
2:25:43
>> Collins's other son. You've seen he's in
2:25:44
a ton of movies.
2:25:45
>> Less of a phony.
2:25:46
>> Well, he's more straight laced.
2:25:48
>> Yeah.
2:25:49
>> Uh, Shia Labou, he's getting drunk,
2:25:52
going to jail, coming back out. Is Shia
2:25:54
Le famous?
2:25:55
>> No, I'm just saying looks just like Tom.
2:25:59
>> He's in a ton of movies.
2:26:01
>> God, he looks just like Tom. That's
2:26:02
crazy. He could be Forest Gump, too.
2:26:04
>> Good actor.
2:26:05
>> He looks more Forest Gumpy than Forest
2:26:06
Gump.
2:26:07
>> He looks more Philadelphia.
2:26:08
>> What is this? What? Chad is singing. Oh,
2:26:11
he's singing now.
2:26:11
>> He's doing country music.
2:26:12
>> Oh boy.
2:26:13
>> Oh god. He can't.
2:26:14
>> I thought he was a rapper.
2:26:15
>> He was, but country's big now.
2:26:17
>> He's just swinging at every goes
2:26:19
wherever is popular. [snorts]
2:26:20
>> Renaissance.
2:26:21
He doesn't suck. That guy sucks. Kind of
2:26:23
jacked by
2:26:26
Ted Higs Jamaican accents.
2:26:27
>> Could you imagine what it's like having
2:26:30
Tom Hanks as a dad and trying to find
2:26:31
your own identity?
2:26:32
>> I'm sure it's tough if your father was a
2:26:34
molester, but it doesn't she's
2:26:35
molestation. [screaming]
2:26:38
>> Come on. You're talking about [ __ ]
2:26:40
>> J time stamp. How [laughter] dare you
2:26:44
>> talking about Woody here.
2:26:48
>> Jesus,
2:26:50
>> he was [laughter] he was good. He was
2:26:52
good in Atlanta and that's about it.
2:26:54
>> Atlanta. Atlanta. Philadelphia.
2:26:56
>> Did an episode of Atlanta. He was good.
2:26:58
>> Oh, which which one? Oh,
2:27:00
>> Chad.
2:27:01
>> Chad rules. He was also great in uh
2:27:03
Curb.
2:27:04
>> Yes.
2:27:04
>> Played the soldier.
2:27:05
>> That's right.
2:27:06
>> I didn't see that one.
2:27:07
>> You want to talk great athletes? What
2:27:08
about the uh ampute cornhole guy?
2:27:12
>> What?
2:27:12
>> What? Where'd that come from?
2:27:14
>> You haven't seen this guy.
2:27:15
>> What kind of a [ __ ] transition was
2:27:17
that?
2:27:18
>> I know it. We're talking about athletes.
2:27:20
The guy got in trouble for shooting
2:27:22
someone.
2:27:22
>> He's got no arms, no legs
2:27:25
on the window with his legs.
2:27:26
>> He shot a guy.
2:27:27
>> Did he really shoot somebody
2:27:28
>> with a nub?
2:27:29
>> 100% he shot him.
2:27:31
>> What's cornhole? I thought he's playing
2:27:32
cornhole.
2:27:32
>> What does he have to do? Does he have to
2:27:33
attach like a stick to the nub so he
2:27:35
could pull the trigger?
2:27:35
>> He's got a little tiny thumb right on
2:27:38
the stump
2:27:39
>> and he could trigger
2:27:40
>> and he pulled a trigger and killed a
2:27:41
guy.
2:27:41
>> Whoa.
2:27:42
>> Yeah.
2:27:42
>> Why did he kill the guy?
2:27:43
>> I think he [ __ ] his stump. I don't
2:27:45
know what happened. Actually, [laughter]
2:27:46
I remember reading the story.
2:27:47
>> Son of a [ __ ]
2:27:48
>> He was driving the car, too. There was
2:27:49
three other GUYS IN THE CAR AND he's the
2:27:51
one driving it.
2:27:52
>> What an alpha.
2:27:53
>> Drove the car.
2:27:54
>> Wow.
2:27:54
>> This guy's a badass.
2:27:55
>> Was it down a straight road?
2:27:56
>> And he was a professional cornhole
2:27:58
player.
2:27:58
>> He was number one cornhole.
2:27:59
>> No. Was he a bag?
2:28:01
>> Here's a video of him [laughter] again.
2:28:02
There's a video of him CLIMBING A
2:28:03
LADDER.
2:28:04
>> CLIMBING A LADDER.
2:28:05
>> YEAH, I'LL show you that after this.
2:28:06
>> He's getting passed around in prison
2:28:08
like a cornhole bag.
2:28:09
>> Juan on suspicion of shooting and
2:28:10
killing a pastor in his car during an
2:28:12
argument.
2:28:13
>> Look at this badass.
2:28:14
>> Oh, he can shoot guns. Shoot. Well,
2:28:16
>> you got to hand it to him.
2:28:17
>> Well,
2:28:18
>> okay. [snorts] Maybe if you
2:28:20
>> leg to stand on there, Mark.
2:28:21
>> Less [laughter] limbs, less movement.
2:28:23
>> Less less limbs. It's not this endless.
2:28:26
>> It's more stable.
2:28:27
>> I went out on a limb.
2:28:28
>> Oh, you son of a [ __ ]
2:28:30
>> There's his cornhole strategy.
2:28:31
>> He's unbelievable.
2:28:32
>> He's really good.
2:28:33
>> Look at this. HE'S JUST SINKING THEM.
2:28:35
>> CRAZY.
2:28:36
>> BAGS.
2:28:38
>> And now he's in jail. Poor guy. He could
2:28:40
have been a hero of our generation.
2:28:42
>> Um, so did he
2:28:44
>> kill the guy for a reason? Sure.
2:28:48
>> Lost his limbs, bacterial infection at
2:28:50
10 years old, demonstrating shooting.
2:28:52
So, what is the story?
2:28:54
>> Accused of shooting a guy during a
2:28:56
driving argument.
2:28:58
>> He he wanted the two guys in the car to
2:28:59
help him get rid of the body. They
2:29:01
refused. And then he dropped them
2:29:03
[laughter] out of the car. Went and
2:29:04
dropped the body somewhere. Someone
2:29:06
found the body and then they came after.
2:29:08
>> [ __ ] That'd be tough to dig a hole.
2:29:09
>> Bro, the way I think he died
2:29:11
astonishing.
2:29:13
>> Ari leaves like a ghost in the night.
2:29:15
>> Well, he's old. They got a piss every 10
2:29:16
minutes.
2:29:17
>> More than him.
2:29:18
>> He drinks prune juice. [laughter]
2:29:20
>> Goes right through you.
2:29:23
>> So, uh, so is an argument. He just shot
2:29:26
the guy. It would, you think it would
2:29:28
take so long for him to pull out the
2:29:29
gun, you would just smack it out of his
2:29:31
stub.
2:29:32
>> You'd think, but I think when that guy
2:29:33
comes up to you, you're like, what are
2:29:34
you going to do? You're not scared. So,
2:29:36
the guy's got all the time in the world.
2:29:37
>> I see a gun. I'd be so scared if I saw
2:29:39
that guy.
2:29:39
>> Climb a hunting blind with a rifle on
2:29:41
his back.
2:29:41
>> Look at this psycho.
2:29:43
>> Oh, wow. God, he's like a slug. Very
2:29:45
capable.
2:29:47
>> Toe jam. Tow jam and Earl. Toe jam and
2:29:49
[laughter] Earl.
2:29:50
>> What a pull.
2:29:52
>> Wow. I mean, you got to hand the guy for
2:29:53
just being independent.
2:29:55
>> Yeah. I mean, we're being mean to him. I
2:29:56
want to make sure he's a murderer before
2:29:57
I make fun of him for being
2:29:58
>> Maybe the guy in the back seat was a
2:30:00
real disabled.
2:30:00
>> He's definitely a murderer.
2:30:02
>> He's in jail.
2:30:03
>> I wonder he's in jail right now.
2:30:05
>> You better believe it.
2:30:06
>> Huh? Found a nearby yard.
2:30:09
>> That's who you want as your bunk mate.
2:30:10
He's not ready.
2:30:11
>> Dead at the scene. He was tracked to
2:30:12
Virginia hospital and arrested set to be
2:30:14
he was in a hospital. Why was he in a
2:30:16
hospital?
2:30:16
>> Maryland.
2:30:18
>> Well, did they get in a fight?
2:30:20
>> Yeah. Witnesses said they got
2:30:21
>> so rarely in the news.
2:30:22
>> So the guy punched him and he had to go
2:30:24
to the hospital.
2:30:25
>> So he was he was tracked to a hospital.
2:30:26
So the guy who he shot was the guy
2:30:29
punching him.
2:30:30
>> Sounds about right. You know what I'm
2:30:32
saying?
2:30:32
>> If you're punching a guy with no arms
2:30:34
and no legs, he's got to do something to
2:30:35
fight back.
2:30:37
>> Shoot you.
2:30:37
>> But that's what's weird. It's like it
2:30:39
says that
2:30:40
>> he looks so happy. But it say if it says
2:30:41
he went to a hospital, like why did he
2:30:43
have to go to a hospital? [laughter]
2:30:45
>> Mad ride.
2:30:46
>> Mad rifle.
2:30:47
>> Mad rifle.
2:30:47
>> That's what they say.
2:30:49
>> Riding high in April.
2:30:51
>> Yeah. It says officer tracked him in the
2:30:52
hospital. That's all it says.
2:30:53
>> Yeah, but why was he in the hospital?
2:30:55
So, did they get in a fist fight and he
2:30:56
pulled the gun
2:30:58
beating his ass?
2:30:59
>> [ __ ] Let's get him to a hospital.
2:31:01
>> Probably fine. They were like, "Holy
2:31:03
[ __ ] take him to an ER."
2:31:04
>> But it's a weird situation. If he was at
2:31:06
a hospital, like, why was he at a
2:31:08
hospital?
2:31:08
>> Yeah.
2:31:10
We don't know the whole story.
2:31:11
>> I don't know.
2:31:12
>> Anyway, he can the part I read.
2:31:14
>> He plays a mean cornhole. Ask
2:31:16
>> them to pull the car out of the or pull
2:31:18
the body out of the car. They said no.
2:31:20
They got out of the car instead and he
2:31:22
drove off with the body still in the
2:31:23
car.
2:31:24
>> Oh boy.
2:31:24
>> How's he going to get him out of the
2:31:25
car? He's got no arms. Damn. Is that
2:31:27
Bieber in the middle?
2:31:28
>> It's Bieber.
2:31:28
>> Oh, I thought it was the same crime. I
2:31:30
was like, wait.
2:31:31
>> Celebrity. What did Bieber get arrested
2:31:32
for?
2:31:33
>> By the way, go back up. Look how dashing
2:31:34
Bieber is in his mug shot.
2:31:36
>> Did Bieber get arrested for looking
2:31:37
cute? Perfectly straight teeth.
2:31:39
>> Lowan's not bad either.
2:31:41
>> Lowan's not bad there.
2:31:43
>> Rules, dude.
2:31:43
>> Lowan's hot again.
2:31:44
>> I co-starred in a movie.
2:31:45
>> She's back.
2:31:46
>> Oh, good. Low.
2:31:47
>> You co-starred in a movie with Lohan.
2:31:48
>> Yeah. Worst movie of all time.
2:31:50
>> Who was that?
2:31:51
>> Inappropriate comedy star directed by
2:31:53
the Shamwell guy.
2:31:55
>> Low. You're in that
2:31:57
>> Lohan. We had an Academy Award winner.
2:31:59
ADRIEN BRODY.
2:32:00
>> WHAT?
2:32:01
>> WHAT?
2:32:02
>> Adrien Brody. The pianist.
2:32:04
>> Uh, who's the chick who got drunk
2:32:05
driving? Who was in the Avatar? Boom.
2:32:07
That one at the end. Rodriguez.
2:32:09
>> What?
2:32:09
>> Oh, I don't know. She got a DUI.
2:32:11
>> Rob Schneider's in that.
2:32:12
>> Oh, but everybody.
2:32:13
>> Who's the middle lady with the
2:32:15
>> Is that really the worst movie ever?
2:32:17
>> It's on It was on Rotten Tomatoes as the
2:32:19
worst movie of all time. And for a while
2:32:20
it had zero.
2:32:22
>> How did Adrian Brody get roped into
2:32:24
that?
2:32:24
>> How? Yeah. What happened to him? Did he
2:32:26
get roped into that?
2:32:27
>> He was on a downturn of his career. He
2:32:29
came back. He was on a down swing.
2:32:31
>> You know what's crazy about Brody? He's
2:32:32
banging Harvey.
2:32:33
>> Wait, am I in there? Oh, you know who
2:32:34
else in there? Oh. Oh. Oh, oh, oh. Uh,
2:32:37
uh, Theo Vaughn, mountain climber. All
2:32:39
right. Wow.
2:32:40
>> Ari Shafir. There we go. The amazing
2:32:43
racist
2:32:43
>> with some writing. Uh, Christina Paziski
2:32:46
did some writing on this.
2:32:47
>> Okay. How about
2:32:48
>> Dante as the racist assistant.
2:32:51
>> Rob Schneider is JD.
2:32:52
>> That's when I was offering black people
2:32:54
a free trip back to Africa. [laughter]
2:32:58
>> You really did it, man.
2:32:59
>> You really went for it back then.
2:33:01
>> So, when you got the script, did you
2:33:03
realize it was going to be that bad?
2:33:04
There was no script. Vince came to me
2:33:06
was like, "Hey, those amazing races you
2:33:08
did, can we make more of those?" And I'm
2:33:09
like, "I don't own them." And he goes,
2:33:11
"Can we make new ones?" And I was like,
2:33:12
"Yeah, if you want to."
2:33:13
>> Hey, it earned 172K
2:33:17
[laughter]
2:33:18
>> for a $725. It's over.
2:33:24
>> All these like pictures of one person in
2:33:26
the theater.
2:33:27
>> I like how it says inappropriate, but
2:33:29
for some reason AP was about apps.
2:33:32
>> Dude, it was all about apps. There's a
2:33:34
whole backstory line. None of it made
2:33:36
any sense.
2:33:36
>> Like dating apps.
2:33:37
>> Yeah.
2:33:38
>> But wait, what year was this?
2:33:39
>> Oh, okay.
2:33:40
>> It's a good question.
2:33:41
>> 2013. I remember I saw this by myself.
2:33:44
>> 2013.
2:33:44
>> It was getting a match. It was a
2:33:46
>> big 625. [laughter]
2:33:48
>> Dude, this movie was so fun.
2:33:50
>> I've never heard of this in my life.
2:33:51
>> We went to the border and I was doing a
2:33:52
setup scene and some people were [ __ ]
2:33:54
running and crossing.
2:33:56
>> But it's so crazy. Like Adrien Broer is
2:33:58
a [ __ ] legit actor.
2:33:59
>> He was he was down and then back up.
2:34:02
They gave him who gets why did he go
2:34:04
down
2:34:05
>> do a movie with you
2:34:06
>> well he was in a separate scene he was
2:34:08
in dirt flirty Harry
2:34:10
>> Flirty Harry
2:34:12
>> flirty Harry so but why
2:34:14
>> what the [ __ ] is going on
2:34:17
guys
2:34:17
>> he went to jail
2:34:19
>> Theo
2:34:20
>> oh my god look at [laughter]
2:34:23
>> Wow.
2:34:24
>> Oh my god. Bro, we should have a
2:34:25
screening of this on the next Protect
2:34:27
Our Parks.
2:34:28
>> I would love to see this.
2:34:29
>> Let's Let's watch it and talk. Bro, this
2:34:31
looks so bad.
2:34:34
>> It's so bad.
2:34:35
>> Who's the girl? The girl with the the
2:34:36
brunette right there.
2:34:37
>> Rodriguez.
2:34:38
>> Oh, the girl from Aliens.
2:34:40
>> Isn't she in Aliens, too?
2:34:42
>> I don't Maybe.
2:34:43
>> See if she's in Aliens.
2:34:44
>> She's Vin Diesel's lady.
2:34:46
>> That's crazy. They got her in this.
2:34:48
>> Yeah. Kids in cages
2:34:49
>> getting arrested.
2:34:50
>> How does this How does this Shamwow guy
2:34:52
talk everybody into this?
2:34:55
>> Money, bro. GS gave me advice. He was
2:34:57
like, "Hey, do you want me to do this
2:34:58
thing?" I think he goes Ari every once
2:34:59
in a while. So people in H [laughter]
2:35:02
>> Oh, there he is.
2:35:03
>> Shane, you can't laugh at this.
2:35:04
>> Young Ari,
2:35:06
>> should I send this one out? Uh,
2:35:09
>> I will say, [laughter]
2:35:10
so like you guys were making dog [ __ ]
2:35:12
like this.
2:35:12
>> Yeah.
2:35:13
>> And then I was like, cuz I wasn't really
2:35:15
around for that.
2:35:16
>> Yeah.
2:35:16
>> And then it's like, man, I can't believe
2:35:18
cancel culture exists. It's like, oh,
2:35:20
now I get it.
2:35:21
>> Yeah.
2:35:22
>> Like, put an end to this horseshit.
2:35:24
[laughter]
2:35:25
>> That's so bad.
2:35:26
>> 2000. with the lit
2:35:31
inspire everybody. [laughter]
2:35:33
>> 2013.
2:35:35
>> Yeah.
2:35:36
>> Wow.
2:35:36
>> Those Amazing Races videos were probably
2:35:37
like 2005, six, seven.
2:35:39
>> Yeah. Five, I think. Cuz it was before I
2:35:42
think those videos were before the whole
2:35:44
Mensia thing at the store.
2:35:46
>> That's right. Because he was like, "Why
2:35:48
do Who are you to say anything about
2:35:49
racial jokes?" Somebody like, "Amazing
2:35:51
racist."
2:35:51
>> Yeah. [laughter]
2:35:53
>> Before that. Yeah.
2:35:55
>> Wow. Oh, that's crazy. They got Adrien
2:35:57
Brody because
2:36:00
>> he's probably paid money to try to get
2:36:01
that released like deleted.
2:36:03
>> I've never heard of it.
2:36:04
>> No one even knows about it.
2:36:05
>> They do now.
2:36:06
>> They do now. That's right. You have a
2:36:07
million platform.
2:36:08
>> People are currently listening.
2:36:10
>> Yeah. You guys [laughter] are actually
2:36:11
going to make a [ __ ] ton of money on
2:36:13
that movie.
2:36:15
>> Oh yeah. Tony
2:36:19
got caught biting that hook. No, the
2:36:20
hooker was biting his tongue and he had
2:36:22
to like get off my [ __ ] tongue and he
2:36:23
was like
2:36:24
>> like I he did something like
2:36:26
arrested.
2:36:27
>> That's not so bad.
2:36:28
>> What was he doing with his tongue? She
2:36:29
bit it.
2:36:30
>> He was
2:36:30
>> Why would you have your tongue involved
2:36:32
in a hooker at all?
2:36:33
>> What's happening?
2:36:34
>> Yeah, you don't kiss a hooker.
2:36:35
>> What do you do if you're drunk?
2:36:36
>> Passionately.
2:36:36
>> Yeah.
2:36:37
>> Let's go.
2:36:37
>> You pay for just kisses.
2:36:39
>> Let's go. I wish you were my girlfriend.
2:36:41
>> We knew a guy We knew a guy at the
2:36:43
comedy store who would pay extra. I'm
2:36:45
not going to say who, but but uh who
2:36:46
would pay extra to [ __ ] to go down on
2:36:50
hookers um
2:36:52
>> without uh Really? Yes. to go down.
2:36:55
>> You don't know him.
2:36:57
>> Wow.
2:36:57
>> He would pay for that
2:37:01
[ __ ] dumb man.
2:37:02
>> He's the funniest.
2:37:03
>> He would be open about it. He's like,
2:37:05
"Nah, they won't let you."
2:37:06
>> Wow. Guy is running for Congress.
2:37:08
>> I'll vote for it.
2:37:09
>> Make America grow some balls again.
2:37:11
>> Like here, it's like Cedar Park.
2:37:13
>> What?
2:37:14
>> Yeah.
2:37:14
>> What is his first nine bills in
2:37:16
Congress?
2:37:17
>> With a headset.
2:37:18
>> No tax on social security. That's
2:37:20
reasonable.
2:37:20
>> Great.
2:37:21
>> Parental class view.
2:37:22
>> Don't know what that What does that
2:37:23
mean? Ring cameras to protect our homes.
2:37:26
We do not Oh, in classes.
2:37:27
>> Woke buster.
2:37:28
>> Oh, ring cameras in classes. That's not
2:37:30
a bad idea. NX on X. Pornography on Oh,
2:37:34
boo.
2:37:35
>> It sounds like this guy wants to jerk
2:37:37
off the kids [laughter]
2:37:38
>> and he's pretending to be a congressman
2:37:40
to go, we should set up cameras in
2:37:41
schools.
2:37:42
>> Healthy screen act.
2:37:43
>> I like number five.
2:37:44
>> Cowboy code.
2:37:45
>> Has to be a human at customer service.
2:37:47
>> I like [laughter] that. That's annoying
2:37:49
like agent. AGENT. YEAH, that'll ruin
2:37:53
India.
2:37:54
>> Oh, interesting. Children need to pray.
2:37:56
Oh, come on.
2:37:57
>> Lot of kids stuff coming out of this
2:37:58
guy.
2:37:59
>> Yeah. Does he have children?
2:38:01
>> Cowboy codes for kids.
2:38:02
>> We'll find out if he actually has
2:38:03
children.
2:38:05
>> Let's find out the Shamwell guy.
2:38:06
>> We got here.
2:38:09
>> He sent me a Shamwell jacket.
2:38:12
>> Did you wear out of Shamwell?
2:38:14
[clears throat]
2:38:15
He is a charming fellow.
2:38:17
>> He must be great when it rains out and
2:38:18
that thing weighs 80 lbs. [laughter]
2:38:21
wear that for the roast.
2:38:22
>> I go, great. Now I weigh 375 lbs.
2:38:25
[laughter]
2:38:26
>> Wait, find out if that guy has a family.
2:38:28
>> His story is actually kind of odd that
2:38:30
he's concentrating so much.
2:38:31
>> He would just sell [ __ ] in Atlantic City
2:38:32
like on the streets. Boardwalk and he
2:38:34
was just great at it. And he goes, I'll
2:38:36
take out like Byron Allen like late
2:38:37
night spots and just sell to more
2:38:39
people.
2:38:40
>> He must have made so much money. Great
2:38:42
money. Shamwow was nice. I'll tell you,
2:38:43
I got a good Shamwow story. One time I
2:38:46
was staying at my buddy's house and uh I
2:38:48
stood up in the middle of the night. I
2:38:50
was He gave me his bed, so I was in
2:38:52
that, but his roommate was in the other
2:38:53
bed. It was in college, and I just stood
2:38:56
up and pissed on the other guy's bed
2:38:58
while he was in it.
2:38:59
>> Oh, damn.
2:39:00
>> And then in the morning, I got a
2:39:02
shamwow. [laughter]
2:39:03
>> Soaked it all up.
2:39:04
>> He just pressed it against this guy.
2:39:06
>> Is that what it does? It soaks.
2:39:07
>> Yeah. Soaks really well.
2:39:09
>> It's a shammy cloth. A shammy cloth is a
2:39:11
thing they used to wash cars with
2:39:12
forever.
2:39:13
>> He said he said he went to seven
2:39:14
companies in Korea. He goes, "Send me
2:39:16
each one." He goes, "This one's the best
2:39:18
one." or I put my name on that and run
2:39:19
them out.
2:39:20
>> So, is it like a synthetic version of a
2:39:22
shammy cloth? Cuz a shammy cloth is like
2:39:24
an animal skin cloth that you use to
2:39:26
clean cars with.
2:39:27
>> No, I do.
2:39:28
>> Yeah. Shammy cloth is like you wash the
2:39:29
car and then the car has all this water
2:39:31
on it. You use the shammy cloth first
2:39:33
and then you polish it with like
2:39:35
microfiber cloths.
2:39:36
>> That's what it is actually. Uh yeah,
2:39:38
it's very absorbent. So, I use I like
2:39:41
the shammy thing. Yeah,
2:39:43
>> you bring them up. Reminds me of Yeah,
2:39:45
>> I used to do that. I used to work at a
2:39:47
car wash for the studio.
2:39:48
>> I used to work in an auto auction in a
2:39:50
dealership in a garage.
2:39:51
>> Oh, there you go. I used to do it all
2:39:52
the time.
2:39:52
>> Which is why tires is so good.
2:39:54
[laughter]
2:39:54
>> Insider knowledge for sure.
2:39:56
>> You're right. What you know,
2:39:56
>> bro. You need a muscle car.
2:39:58
>> You need a muscle car, Shane. I
2:40:01
>> Hey, Shane, you know this purchase made
2:40:03
>> doing it wrong.
2:40:04
>> No, no, no, he's not doing it wrong.
2:40:05
>> I'm happy with that one. That's the
2:40:06
one's great. But how about also How
2:40:08
about also you get like a modern muscle
2:40:10
car that works really well. Do you know
2:40:12
Do you know about Revology Mustangs?
2:40:15
Have you ever seen my 68 Mustang? Yes.
2:40:17
>> My bullet Mustangs rocks, right? There's
2:40:20
a company, this company, Revology.
2:40:21
They're the [ __ ] They make a brand new
2:40:25
1969.
2:40:26
>> That's what I wanted.
2:40:28
>> I wanted I wanted an old You know what I
2:40:30
wanted?
2:40:30
>> Look at that. This is Revology. What do
2:40:32
>> you mean brand new?
2:40:33
>> So, this is No, it's a The guy Tom
2:40:36
Scarpello. He worked at Ford. He made
2:40:39
the Ford GT.
2:40:40
>> Can you imagine me getting out of that
2:40:41
in [ __ ] gym shorts?
2:40:42
>> Me. I do it all the time. You look cool.
2:40:44
I I would look
2:40:45
>> You look cool. YOU LOOK LIKE A [ __ ]
2:40:47
AMERICAN.
2:40:49
>> YOU DO LOOK AMERICAN. You look American.
2:40:51
So that's what I have. I have that car.
2:40:53
I have that car on the left. [laughter]
2:40:55
>> I have that car on the left.
2:40:57
>> I have um
2:40:58
>> What? You have that one? The the blue.
2:41:00
>> I have the Well, mine is actually green
2:41:03
like Steve McQueen's.
2:41:04
>> I have a green one 68. But but point is
2:41:07
he makes the new one which is even
2:41:08
cooler looking. The 69. The six. Go to
2:41:11
models, Jamie. 67 is the one.
2:41:13
>> Go to models. And this is a half.
2:41:16
>> No, no, no, no, no, no. The new 69 is
2:41:18
the [ __ ] That one. The boss. The boss
2:41:20
429. Click on that.
2:41:22
>> So, it's just a old body with a new car.
2:41:24
>> Ex. But it's not an old body. It's a
2:41:26
brand new.
2:41:26
>> So, he makes the metal version. Yes.
2:41:28
It's a factory. It's a full factory, but
2:41:31
it's completely reliable.
2:41:33
>> I can't drive that. Jordan ones.
2:41:36
>> I will force you at gunpoint to drive
2:41:37
that. You need one of those. You need a
2:41:40
black one.
2:41:40
>> No, I need a 97 Land Cruiser.
2:41:42
>> Oh, that's a 95.
2:41:44
>> Oh, you do? That's what That's what I
2:41:46
was
2:41:46
>> I have a 95 with my car charged Corvette
2:41:49
engine
2:41:49
>> and I need a new car. I couldn't wait
2:41:51
long enough to get one. What you got is
2:41:52
perfect. What you got is Buick Regal.
2:41:55
>> You want to tell people what you got?
2:41:56
>> You need a Leber. Don't tell me what you
2:41:58
got. But what you got So that's what I
2:42:02
real car.
2:42:02
>> I love those.
2:42:04
>> Jamie, pull up mine. I have a 1995 that
2:42:07
TLC made me and I had to put a
2:42:09
supercharged Corvette engine in it and
2:42:10
then I had Culvin Automotive change the
2:42:13
supercharger jack it up to 800
2:42:15
horsepower.
2:42:17
>> It's got dual exhaust now. Oh, it's a
2:42:18
total apocalypse car. It's got a gun
2:42:20
safe in it. It's got everything.
2:42:22
>> Who's the nerd?
2:42:23
>> That's my friend Jonathan Ward who
2:42:24
[ __ ] built the car for me. He's the
2:42:26
man.
2:42:27
>> Now Jamie, call the 20 [laughter] Call
2:42:29
the 2017 Toyota Corolla.
2:42:30
>> That guy needs a wedge.
2:42:31
>> But you need you need a 69 boss. That's
2:42:34
what you need. 69.
2:42:36
>> Oh, you got the winch.
2:42:37
>> Yeah. Oh, it's got everything. Well, I
2:42:39
got this when I was worried that Well, I
2:42:41
had a family and I was worried that at
2:42:43
one point in time, LA was going to
2:42:44
experience an apocalypse and I had to be
2:42:45
able to drive somewhere where there's no
2:42:47
roads. So, I got an extra large gas tank
2:42:49
on that thing.
2:42:51
>> I have steel bumpers all around, rock
2:42:53
sliders on the side. I wanted to make it
2:42:55
so I could just go run over protest.
2:42:57
>> I can't wait to get away.
2:42:58
>> I can't wait to die at the gates in
2:43:00
front of your house when the apocalypse
2:43:02
happens.
2:43:02
>> You're not going to die. I can't wait
2:43:03
for
2:43:04
>> let
2:43:06
I'm going to let you in. Come on, dog.
2:43:08
Please, please, come in. How dare you
2:43:10
save [laughter] me?
2:43:12
>> You're parked there like do not get out
2:43:13
of your car.
2:43:14
>> By then, we'll be at the ranch. We'll
2:43:16
have the ranch. We'll have the ranch
2:43:17
fully operational by now. But between
2:43:19
then, now and then, you need a [ __ ]
2:43:21
Mustang. You need a boss, brother.
2:43:23
>> Is it Mustang the only one they make?
2:43:25
>> Can we get like an old Porsche? Can I
2:43:26
get an old
2:43:27
>> Well, there's plenty of cont.
2:43:28
>> I'm too big for an old Porsche.
2:43:29
>> You're too big for a Porsche. Land
2:43:32
Cruiser is another company called RSR
2:43:35
Recreations. They make a 911. It you can
2:43:38
get it with no [ __ ] AC, no nothing.
2:43:40
It only weighs 2,000 lbs.
2:43:43
[laughter]
2:43:45
>> Dancing shoes.
2:43:46
>> I knew about it on 910.
2:43:48
>> Dancing Israelis.
2:43:50
>> Don't Google Dancing Israelis. Whatever
2:43:53
you do, don't read into that story.
2:43:55
You'll go, "Hey, what?
2:43:57
>> Wait a second.
2:43:59
Apac.
2:44:00
>> Okay, back. All right, there's there's
2:44:02
my [ __ ] platform.
2:44:03
>> Okay, what about Let's get rid of AP
2:44:04
pack. Let's get rid all those [ __ ]
2:44:08
lobbies.
2:44:08
>> Yeah, all lobbies.
2:44:10
>> The ones that are convenient.
2:44:11
>> You need a muscle car.
2:44:13
>> If you don't want to get that, how about
2:44:14
a new muscle car? How about a Shelby?
2:44:19
>> A Shelby Super Snake R.
2:44:21
>> Brother, I'm never driving that,
2:44:23
brother. I bet you should.
2:44:25
>> You need one car.
2:44:26
>> You need No. What? You need one car.
2:44:28
>> I need one car. I have a pretty small
2:44:30
house in a tiny garage.
2:44:31
>> What are you a communist? [laughter]
2:44:33
>> You need to get a new house. First of
2:44:35
all, you need to do your [ __ ]
2:44:38
>> baller now. So, you need a new Look at
2:44:40
that. That's a Shelby Super Snake. He
2:44:42
can't drive that.
2:44:43
>> You know what that would look like? Me
2:44:44
getting out or bringing I got Look, I'm
2:44:47
not going to get hard.
2:44:48
>> 850 [ __ ] horsepower. That's
2:44:50
>> going to be great to pull into a parking
2:44:51
lot.
2:44:52
>> Shut up, Ari.
2:44:55
>> Shut up. I was telling Ari back when Ari
2:44:57
started making money. I go, Ari, please
2:44:59
[laughter] get a nice car. Please just
2:45:01
get a nice car. How about a Cadillac
2:45:03
Blackwing?
2:45:04
>> 2022.
2:45:04
>> How about one of these? How about a CT5V
2:45:08
Blackwing? How about that?
2:45:09
>> Can't have a Caddy.
2:45:10
>> Come on.
2:45:11
>> I agree. If I saw someone [ __ ] my
2:45:14
dad's car,
2:45:16
that is not your dad's car. That's a
2:45:18
black. That thing has almost 700. Very
2:45:22
cord.
2:45:22
>> Very reliable.
2:45:23
>> You can solder the [ __ ] hood shut for
2:45:25
5 years.
2:45:26
>> Why would you do that, Ari? You have You
2:45:28
have money, too, Ari. You drive me
2:45:29
crazy. I was trying to get him to buy a
2:45:31
BMW M3 in like 2008.
2:45:33
>> Oo, that'd be nice. I love a BMW.
2:45:34
>> Why didn't you do it?
2:45:36
>> Because I had to put all my money to
2:45:37
this goddamn storytelling show. I put my
2:45:40
money into that.
2:45:40
>> Yeah, but you made it back already. You
2:45:42
made it back.
2:45:42
>> You spent more money. Yeah, I did make
2:45:43
the budget back. The end available right
2:45:45
now.
2:45:46
>> I've tried for years, maybe decades, to
2:45:48
try to talk you into buying a nice car.
2:45:50
Yeah,
2:45:50
>> he can't. Look at that hat.
2:45:52
>> It's New York. You can't have a nice car
2:45:53
anymore.
2:45:53
>> Yeah, you can't have a nice car.
2:45:55
>> You got enough money to have a house
2:45:56
other places.
2:45:58
>> You should get a house out here.
2:46:00
>> Get a house out here with a garage and
2:46:01
keep some nice cars in it so you could
2:46:03
[ __ ] roll.
2:46:03
>> Do you have enough money for that?
2:46:05
>> You spent all your money in.
2:46:07
>> I'll give you the [ __ ] money. Tell me
2:46:09
what car you want to buy.
2:46:10
>> Hold on a second. You buying houses?
2:46:11
>> Lamborghini.
2:46:12
>> I'm buying him [laughter] a car, not a
2:46:13
house.
2:46:13
>> I'm still waiting to get a watch.
2:46:15
>> I held out. He said watch. I'm like I'll
2:46:16
hold out for car.
2:46:17
>> He gave you a watch. You wear it. You
2:46:19
wear that piece of [ __ ] It's a Rolex.
2:46:21
>> I would buy you a watch if you'd wear
2:46:22
it. If I bought you a watch, will you
2:46:24
wear it?
2:46:24
>> Sure.
2:46:25
>> How many times?
2:46:26
>> Every day.
2:46:26
>> I'm thinking the same.
2:46:27
>> I shower with this.
2:46:29
>> Right. But if I bought you a real watch,
2:46:30
would you
2:46:31
>> I mean, Rolex, one of those astronaut
2:46:33
[ __ ]
2:46:34
>> Rolex.
2:46:36
Yeah. But I don't want to I don't want
2:46:37
to protect our parks. I'm going to get
2:46:39
you a Speed Master.
2:46:40
>> Hold on. Omega's Can I tell you what he
2:46:42
wants?
2:46:42
>> Sham was a Speed Master.
2:46:43
>> He wants that size watch, not a bulky
2:46:45
one. He wants a thinner watch.
2:46:47
>> All right. Listen. I like a small watch.
2:46:49
>> This is not too big. This is a a Rolex,
2:46:52
but it's on a but it's on a a rubber
2:46:54
strap. It's a little understated.
2:46:56
>> Ghock.
2:46:58
Would you wear that?
2:46:59
>> Indiglow.
2:47:00
>> Would you wear that?
2:47:00
>> I like a a metal band. But yeah, it's a
2:47:03
good looking watch.
2:47:05
>> What did What did Louis get you?
2:47:06
>> He got me the uh Oyster face or what do
2:47:09
you call it? Okay.
2:47:10
>> It's really nice and it's inscribed in
2:47:12
the back. Thanks for working with me,
2:47:13
LC.
2:47:14
>> You don't even wear it.
2:47:15
>> I It's on my shelf. It's propped up.
2:47:17
Okay. So, if I buy you an Omega, you're
2:47:19
gonna wear it.
2:47:20
>> Hell yeah.
2:47:21
>> No, you don't have to buy me an Omega.
2:47:23
Just [ __ ] around. It's over.
2:47:24
>> Norman. Norman, you're gonna love this.
2:47:26
>> Eat gave me the coolest thing that I
2:47:28
have, which was Nor McDonald's
2:47:31
>> cup on the late night with Letterman.
2:47:34
>> The actual mug from the late night.
2:47:37
>> Gave me this pull that from uh Norm
2:47:40
doing uh
2:47:42
>> talk show. Oh, letter.
2:47:43
>> So, he had that. He brought it home.
2:47:45
That's cool.
2:47:45
>> Wow. Oh, that's a great one. Best gift I
2:47:48
got.
2:47:48
>> That's I would protect that.
2:47:51
Break that.
2:47:52
>> Imagine if a chick comes over your house
2:47:53
and drops that.
2:47:54
>> Can I have a cup of tea? I would punch
2:47:56
it.
2:47:56
>> Whoopsies.
2:47:57
>> Oh, I protect it. It's on my mantle.
2:47:58
It's in the middle of It's above my
2:48:00
face.
2:48:00
>> That's great.
2:48:01
>> I put like ring ropes around it to
2:48:03
cushion it.
2:48:04
>> Yeah, I probably should.
2:48:04
>> Mickey Man.
2:48:05
>> Yeah, Mickey [laughter] M.
2:48:07
>> That's a That's a good one.
2:48:09
>> That's the best one.
2:48:10
>> Those Rodney notes are great.
2:48:11
>> Oh my god. Isn't that amazing in the
2:48:13
green room? those handwritten Rodney
2:48:14
notes from his Tonight Show special.
2:48:17
>> Whitney got us those. Rodney's wife
2:48:19
donated. She found out about the club.
2:48:20
She knew we were doing it and she
2:48:22
donated it to us.
2:48:23
>> Wow. Very cool. So, we had them all
2:48:25
framed in there. It's amazing. And you
2:48:27
get to read them and you see how like
2:48:29
would like make the punchlines bold and
2:48:31
all the notes then bold punchline.
2:48:34
>> Oh yeah.
2:48:34
>> It's cool. Just it's like the feeling
2:48:36
the spirit of like jokew writing is in
2:48:38
that room.
2:48:38
>> He was he was a drug addict
2:48:41
>> allegedly. No, I was
2:48:42
>> the coolest thing about Robbie was that
2:48:44
when weed was illegal,
2:48:45
>> he enjoyed drugs. I don't know if he was
2:48:47
a drug addict.
2:48:48
>> When weed was illegal and cops would
2:48:50
come into a club he was in, he was just
2:48:51
smoking weed. He would just go up to him
2:48:52
like, "Hello, officer. How you doing?"
2:48:54
Just holding. He knew he was immune. No
2:48:56
one's going to touch him.
2:48:57
>> I told you guys when I worked as a
2:48:58
security guard, when I got to see Rodney
2:49:00
perform, when I worked as a security
2:49:01
guard.
2:49:02
>> Whoa.
2:49:03
Beat up a guy with a walkie-talkie.
2:49:05
>> No, I didn't beat him up. No, that was
2:49:07
Alleycat. That was my boss. Alley
2:49:09
[laughter]
2:49:10
first day.
2:49:11
>> That was the first thing I heard you
2:49:13
say. That was I was like, damn, Joe's
2:49:15
old [laughter]
2:49:16
boy. He was like, "No, that was my boy,
2:49:18
Alicat."
2:49:18
>> That was the boss. Alley Cat was the
2:49:20
boss.
2:49:21
>> So, what happened was uh one of the guys
2:49:23
from my Taekwondo gym got uh hired to be
2:49:27
security and they were like, "Bro, it's
2:49:28
like 50 bucks an hour. It's really cool.
2:49:30
You get to see concerts." So, we all
2:49:32
went and I got to see Rodney there.
2:49:34
Rodney was backstage with nothing on but
2:49:37
a bathrobe.
2:49:38
>> He was completely naked. No, I didn't
2:49:40
see that. I saw him walking around with
2:49:42
slippers and a bathrobe and then he went
2:49:44
on stage with nothing but a bathrobe.
2:49:46
>> Bathrobe naked underneath it.
2:49:48
>> Went on stage that way.
2:49:50
>> 1986.
2:49:51
Okay. And [ __ ] destroyed. I was 19. I
2:49:56
was mesmerized. And back then I wasn't
2:49:58
even thinking about doing comedy. I was
2:50:00
just fighting and I was enjoying it. And
2:50:02
I was like, "This is this guy's so
2:50:03
free." I remember thinking that like
2:50:05
this guy's on stage with a I mean
2:50:08
destroying.
2:50:10
I got no respect. No respect at all. And
2:50:12
the [ __ ] place is going nuts. He was
2:50:14
killing punchline after punchline after
2:50:17
punchline. I was 19. I mean, I was blown
2:50:20
away.
2:50:20
>> Wow. And you were working?
2:50:21
>> I was working. I was a security guard.
2:50:23
>> That's a good gig. Got to see the shows.
2:50:25
Well, that was also the job that I quit
2:50:27
when, you know, the whole thing with
2:50:28
happened with co where Neil Young pulled
2:50:30
his music off Spotify cuz I was giving
2:50:31
out vaccine misinformation.
2:50:33
>> Wait, is that until he couldn't get it
2:50:34
played elsewhere?
2:50:35
>> Yeah, it was not real. He didn't even
2:50:37
own his music. It's all [ __ ] But
2:50:39
anyway, I I didn't [ __ ] on him at the
2:50:41
time, even though he's trying to ruin my
2:50:42
life because I was a Neil Young fan. And
2:50:45
I told the story about how when I was a
2:50:46
security guard, the last day on the job
2:50:48
was a Neil Young concert cuz a riot
2:50:50
broke out. And a riot broke out and I
2:50:52
was like, I'm not fighting for 50 bucks
2:50:54
an hour. I [ __ ] zipped up my hoodie
2:50:56
and I just walked out and I never even
2:50:58
got my last check. It was cold out and
2:51:01
Great Woods in Mansfield has a whole
2:51:03
lawn. It's an amphitheater. So the the
2:51:05
the front part that's all seated has a
2:51:07
cover over it and then the back part's a
2:51:09
lawn and it was a little cold out. So
2:51:11
these [ __ ] animals at the Neil Young
2:51:13
concert started lighting bonfires and so
2:51:15
the security guys had to come over and
2:51:17
tell him, "Hey, put out the fires." And
2:51:19
drunk guys were like, "Fuck you." And my
2:51:21
friend Larry punched some guy and
2:51:22
Larry's like the nicest guy in the
2:51:23
world. I'm like, "Oh my god, we're
2:51:24
having a war." And so the fight started
2:51:27
breaking up. And as soon as like my
2:51:28
friends were safe and we were I'm like,
2:51:30
"Let's get the [ __ ] out of here." I put
2:51:32
[laughter] on my hoodie and I just quit.
2:51:33
I just I'm like I'm not fighting these
2:51:35
[ __ ] people. And that was my last day
2:51:37
on the job as a security guard.
2:51:38
>> Bonfires and fist fighting at a [ __ ]
2:51:40
Neil Young.
2:51:42
It's so crazy
2:51:45
[laughter]
2:51:47
10 taekwond do black belts including
2:51:49
like national level competitors that
2:51:51
were all security guards. They were just
2:51:53
waiting to kick somebody into house and
2:51:54
Neil Young fans.
2:51:56
>> We never I mean Joe
2:51:59
>> D Roa one guy. Okay, let's hear this.
2:52:02
>> Hold on. Hold on. Hold on. Hold on.
2:52:04
[laughter]
2:52:05
All right. Go.
2:52:08
>> Uh, hold on. Where's the volume?
2:52:10
>> I don't know. There's no sound before.
2:52:12
>> I remember that was his co time, huh?
2:52:14
>> I remember you'd wear that.
2:52:15
>> Oh my gosh. [ __ ]
2:52:17
>> Oh, yeah. Yeah. I was like, I was like,
2:52:19
I'll add the song.
2:52:21
>> What's the with the glasses?
2:52:22
>> I don't know. I was doing something.
2:52:23
[clears throat]
2:52:24
Oh my god.
2:52:25
>> This is brutal.
2:52:26
>> I forgot that was my best part is I
2:52:28
said, I'll add the music. [laughter]
2:52:32
This is like a hostage video.
2:52:36
>> Please turn this off.
2:52:37
>> This is horrific.
2:52:39
[screaming]
2:52:42
>> I love the roast.
2:52:44
>> WHERE DID YOU GO?
2:52:45
>> OH MAN, HE TOOK IT SO SERIOUS.
2:52:49
>> That's not as fun as Rodney naked.
2:52:52
[laughter]
2:52:53
>> God damn Shane, you killed me.
2:52:55
>> Tough.
2:52:55
>> I did not enjoy that at all.
2:52:57
>> That was bad. I'll turn it. Did you see
2:52:59
the Scientology speedruns that were
2:53:01
going around that week or two? Kids are
2:53:03
breaking into Scientology places all
2:53:05
over the country, mostly LA.
2:53:07
>> They're breaking into them. Why
2:53:09
>> they're called speedruns?
2:53:10
>> Speeduns. No, let me see this.
2:53:12
>> They're trying to get as deep as they
2:53:14
can possibly get into a Scientology
2:53:15
building removed all the door secret.
2:53:19
>> Speeduns.
2:53:21
>> Wow.
2:53:21
>> That guy at the White House corresponds.
2:53:24
>> Yeah. So cold.
2:53:26
>> Oh, you want to play games?
2:53:27
>> No, I don't.
2:53:29
[laughter]
2:53:30
Wow.
2:53:31
>> Damn.
2:53:32
>> Speed runs is such a great way to go
2:53:34
through something. Just run as fast as
2:53:36
>> they'll kill you. Those guys are right
2:53:38
now that they've like uh they've taken
2:53:40
the the handles off the doors on the
2:53:42
outside.
2:53:43
>> I went [laughter]
2:53:44
>> I went me and Natasha went to a to a
2:53:46
Scientology once on Vine. Yeah. And and
2:53:49
I was they kind of got me a little. They
2:53:51
were like, "Can we get some information
2:53:52
for you?" I'm like, "I mean my home
2:53:53
address if you want." And she was like,
2:53:54
"What the [ __ ] are you doing?" And I'm
2:53:56
like, "I don't know. They're getting me.
2:53:58
The book they saw was it's good for ages
2:54:00
8 to 8. Wow.
2:54:02
>> So this kid just ran through.
2:54:03
>> Yeah. So they're just busting through
2:54:05
noise.
2:54:06
>> Maybe whites are coming back as much as
2:54:08
they can in like 10 seconds. They're not
2:54:10
really doing anything other than just
2:54:11
>> all these other people behind them. Are
2:54:13
they Scientologists or these just all
2:54:14
the kids?
2:54:16
>> The kids running.
2:54:16
>> So there's more than one kid. There's
2:54:18
multiple kids.
2:54:18
>> 30 of them.
2:54:20
>> Some will get through.
2:54:21
>> Oh, look how deep they're going.
2:54:22
>> Yeah, they're just trying to like What's
2:54:23
inside? What are you guys hiding?
2:54:24
>> I love these guys. No one really has
2:54:26
ever seen inside those buildings.
2:54:27
>> They're having fun.
2:54:28
>> Oh, how weird.
2:54:28
>> They just run out the exit.
2:54:30
>> Well, they're like the second biggest
2:54:32
real estate holders in Los Angeles, I
2:54:34
think.
2:54:34
>> Yeah, they're crazy.
2:54:35
>> Oh my god, look at this guy trying.
2:54:37
>> I think it's like China and then
2:54:38
Scientology raid with Jesus. They're
2:54:40
trying to open the door.
2:54:41
>> Oh, I love it.
2:54:42
>> Oh, this is
2:54:43
>> Dude, it's over. They got you.
2:54:44
>> They deserve this. Those guys are [ __ ]
2:54:46
I mean, look at the inside though, too.
2:54:48
I've never seen
2:54:48
>> Scientology has a voting block in Los
2:54:50
Angeles.
2:54:51
>> Pretty cool inside.
2:54:52
>> It's like a museum.
2:54:53
>> Look at that.
2:54:53
>> Wow. I want to go in there. Wow. Yeah.
2:54:56
Kind of want to take you take a photo
2:54:58
outside their building, they'll they'll
2:54:59
tackle you.
2:54:59
>> Well, I remember during the '9s, a lot
2:55:01
of people were thinking about joining
2:55:03
Scientology because it was really good
2:55:04
for your career. They had acting class
2:55:07
some
2:55:09
West,
2:55:10
>> Tom Cruz, Talon was in an acting class
2:55:13
with a Scientology guy.
2:55:14
>> And I remember he was like telling me
2:55:16
that like a lot of these Scientologists,
2:55:18
they like get really far in acting
2:55:20
because like you get connected,
2:55:22
>> right? Damn, they just recorded
2:55:24
Scientology run. [laughter]
2:55:26
>> Just started recently. I think like this
2:55:28
month. Good for them.
2:55:30
>> Look at this guy moving. Look at this
2:55:32
guy with the [ __ ] suits trying to
2:55:34
stop him. [laughter]
2:55:34
>> Put a hand out as if that's going to do
2:55:36
it.
2:55:36
>> Very unenthusiastic.
2:55:38
>> Hey, did you guys see the fat principal
2:55:40
who stopped the school shooting?
2:55:41
>> Yeah,
2:55:42
>> that was amazing.
2:55:44
>> I think it was in Virginia. He got shot.
2:55:46
The guy came into the building with a
2:55:48
gun and this [ __ ] principal just
2:55:49
rushes him, grabs him, tackles him,
2:55:52
holds on the gun. He got shot in the leg
2:55:54
apparently.
2:55:54
>> Badass.
2:55:56
And then he went into a party. It was
2:55:58
like the Yeah, it was the prom like a
2:56:01
week later and everybody went crazy and
2:56:03
cheered.
2:56:03
>> He became very emotional.
2:56:05
>> Very emotional. He stopped 20 deaths.
2:56:07
>> Yeah. I mean, stopped it in its tracks
2:56:09
as the guy came in through the front
2:56:10
door.
2:56:11
>> You do have one moment where like you
2:56:13
see it, you realize, and you're like,
2:56:14
"Let's go." school principal injured in
2:56:16
school shooting. Shooter identified as
2:56:18
former student.
2:56:19
>> This is in Oklahoma.
2:56:19
>> Former student
2:56:20
>> Oklahoma. That's where it is.
2:56:22
>> Coin.
2:56:22
>> Yeah.
2:56:23
>> Wow. Look at the guy. That's the guy.
2:56:25
>> But if you watch the video, the guy
2:56:26
[ __ ] literally threw himself on the
2:56:29
guy with the gun. Completely heroic.
2:56:31
>> Show me his face again, dude. That's a
2:56:32
guy who loves bruskies.
2:56:34
>> Oh yeah.
2:56:34
>> Oh yeah.
2:56:36
Give me a barbecue.
2:56:38
>> This [ __ ] weirdo.
2:56:39
>> Oh, he's probably not worried about his
2:56:41
death.
2:56:41
>> Hey Mark, I can't even drink that yet.
2:56:43
worry about. You know what I'm saying?
2:56:45
He's ready to go to Val. He's a Viking.
2:56:47
[laughter]
2:56:48
>> That's an American Viking, dude. You get
2:56:50
fed [ __ ] you drink beers, you go [ __ ]
2:56:52
it. I've been waiting for somebody,
2:56:54
brother.
2:56:54
>> He's a hero. Godamn it.
2:56:57
>> Didn't Cash Patel say that about
2:56:58
somebody? See you about Charlie Kirk.
2:57:00
The corniest [ __ ] [ __ ] ever.
2:57:03
>> That's a rough one.
2:57:04
>> Your watch is over. We'll see you in
2:57:05
Valhalla, brother. Shut up. I was
2:57:08
watching a video on what a 30 odd six
2:57:11
round actually would do to a neck.
2:57:15
>> Yeah. They showed like what the actual
2:57:17
rifle round would do to a person's neck
2:57:20
versus like what you saw from Charlie
2:57:21
Kirk. There's a lot of people that don't
2:57:23
think it was really that guy on the roof
2:57:25
that shot him. That was something else.
2:57:26
Some people think it was a microphone.
2:57:28
>> But I the problem with the Yeah, the
2:57:30
microphone shot him in the neck like
2:57:31
there was some sort of an implemented
2:57:33
destruction device. Oh,
2:57:35
>> the problem I have with that is you
2:57:36
don't see any fire coming off of the
2:57:38
microphone. Like if a microphone is
2:57:39
going to kill you, it's going to shoot
2:57:40
you somehow or another. It's got to be
2:57:42
an explosive charge and then you'll see
2:57:44
a flash and then something will
2:57:46
projectile from that into your neck.
2:57:48
>> You say a microphone in the Yeah,
2:57:50
somebody shot him, right? Somebody shot
2:57:52
him. If a rifle shoots your neck,
2:57:53
wouldn't it go far away?
2:57:54
>> You would imagine it would. And in these
2:57:56
videos that I saw, it like shows massive
2:57:59
destruction. So what they're using is
2:58:00
ballistic gel. And so they have like a
2:58:02
fake neck and a fake head and like a
2:58:04
spine. They show ballistic gel what it
2:58:06
looks like. And it just blows the neck
2:58:09
completely apart. It's just splatter, a
2:58:12
giant opening wound cuz this tissue is
2:58:15
very soft. I mean, this is not durable
2:58:17
tissue. And he got shot and it was not
2:58:19
even an exit hole.
2:58:20
>> Did they catch the guy
2:58:22
>> supposedly? You know that you
2:58:26
guys are so
2:58:27
>> I remember at a bar in Guatemala
2:58:28
someone's like who's Charlie Kirk? I'm
2:58:30
like, I think he makes I think he makes
2:58:31
fun of college kids.
2:58:33
>> You're right about that. That's not
2:58:34
wrong.
2:58:35
>> And then I was like, why? Like, I think
2:58:37
he got killed. And I was like, oh,
2:58:39
>> bro, there's many many many many layers
2:58:42
to that story.
2:58:42
>> Pass the weed.
2:58:43
>> And his wife
2:58:46
outdoor bar like Yeah. Anyway, bro, that
2:58:48
over
2:58:49
>> pass the weed. So, yeah,
2:58:51
>> this many levels.
2:58:52
>> I don't mean to come down on you, but
2:58:54
that's weed.
2:58:56
>> Oh, man. I don't even know. Pass the
2:58:57
weed,
2:58:58
>> dude. I was looking for weed and the
2:58:59
time was smoking. I'm like I'm looking
2:59:01
for that weed
2:59:02
>> in Guatemala.
2:59:03
>> Yeah. At a bar.
2:59:03
>> What is the legality of weed in
2:59:05
Guatemala?
2:59:06
>> Same as like 5 years ago here. Like do
2:59:10
>> Oh, you can get arrested though.
2:59:12
>> And you wind up in a Guatemalan jail.
2:59:15
Imagine if we had to bail you out like
2:59:16
[ __ ]
2:59:18
>> You wouldn't even know.
2:59:18
>> We would never bail you out.
2:59:19
>> I would.
2:59:20
>> I'd go there.
2:59:21
>> I can sit there for a little Guatemala
2:59:24
>> 100%. [laughter] 100%.
2:59:26
>> Yeah. Yeah, if he was in jail in
2:59:27
Guatemala, 100% we get him out.
2:59:28
>> No, that'd be fun though to let him sit
2:59:30
for a few days.
2:59:31
>> Yeah,
2:59:31
>> he needs to learn his lessons.
2:59:33
>> Of course I'm going to get weed. I'm the
2:59:35
guy who gets weed. The lesson is keep
2:59:36
getting weed, man.
2:59:38
>> We'd have to go get him.
2:59:39
>> I'd make you guys come with me.
2:59:40
>> We'd have to film [laughter] it.
2:59:42
>> Yeah. Protect our parts from
2:59:43
>> from a [ __ ] national park in whoever
2:59:46
filmed your [ __ ] that whole run that
2:59:48
you did that guy. He'll put some witty
2:59:51
quotes three.
2:59:52
>> Get him in there. Get Ari in there.
2:59:54
>> Look at this. state of emergency because
2:59:56
>> gang prisons prison riots and the gangs.
2:59:58
You'd be in that gang getting [ __ ]
3:00:00
>> Good to get you back in the camps.
3:00:02
>> I can't have you in there, Ari getting
3:00:03
[ __ ] by these Guatemalans.
3:00:04
>> Dude, those guys who gave me weed who
3:00:05
told me about Charlie Kirk, he they were
3:00:07
like, "What do you think about Trump?"
3:00:08
I'm like, "I I don't really know." And
3:00:10
then I figured out how to turn it away
3:00:11
from that conversation. I go, "How how's
3:00:13
your guy?" And they go, "OUR GUY SUCKS.
3:00:16
HE'S SO CROOKED." MADURO. Our guy. No,
3:00:18
it was somebody in Guatemala.
3:00:19
>> Oh, sorry. Wrong country.
3:00:20
>> You just turn it on their guy. They love
3:00:22
talking about it. [laughter] Yeah, I'm
3:00:24
far away. Like, he's crooked. He takes
3:00:27
money from corporations. I'm like,
3:00:29
"Yeah, we do that."
3:00:30
>> Boo.
3:00:31
>> Better than El Salvador. That place is
3:00:33
even crazier.
3:00:34
>> No. What they rules?
3:00:36
>> They stopped all
3:00:38
ton of gangs.
3:00:39
>> They threw them all giant prisons and
3:00:42
stopped all the crime.
3:00:43
>> They drove them out, killed the rest.
3:00:45
>> Can we do that?
3:00:46
>> Their crime dropped off
3:00:49
here, Mark.
3:00:49
>> I guess [laughter] so.
3:00:50
>> No, that guy is a hero to everyone
3:00:52
there. They all love him.
3:00:54
>> Look at this.
3:00:54
>> Agreed.
3:00:56
>> Everyone who was there loves him.
3:00:57
Everyone who came in later was like,
3:00:58
"Oh, so
3:00:59
>> that's El Salvador's prison. We should
3:01:01
do that to our civilians."
3:01:02
>> Look at the guy in the back. He's kind
3:01:03
of fat.
3:01:05
>> Well, couple chunks.
3:01:06
>> I bet there's a few guys in there that
3:01:07
don't belong.
3:01:08
>> Uh, no. There's a story here that anyone
3:01:11
with a tattoo get arrested. And they're
3:01:12
like, "No, no, it's anyone with a tattoo
3:01:14
of a cop you've killed with his badge
3:01:16
number. You get arrested."
3:01:18
>> All the Nate Diaz's.
3:01:19
>> All Nate Diaz.
3:01:20
>> Yeah, they do look like Nate.
3:01:22
Nate,
3:01:23
>> they're all going to stand up and go.
3:01:24
What's up?
3:01:25
>> You got their country back.
3:01:26
>> Damn. The tattoo guys are see cleaning
3:01:28
up out there.
3:01:29
>> Wait, wait. Let's see if we can see
3:01:31
tattoos. When you tattoo your face up
3:01:33
like that, that you are not [ __ ]
3:01:34
around.
3:01:35
>> So, a lot of the face tattoos are loved
3:01:36
ones they've raped.
3:01:38
>> No.
3:01:39
>> You get extra No, I didn't just make it
3:01:41
up.
3:01:41
>> You get extra points for raping a mom, a
3:01:44
sister, an aunt.
3:01:45
>> Your own mom.
3:01:45
>> Yeah, buddy.
3:01:47
>> This can't This
3:01:48
>> It wasn't a great situation. Where are
3:01:50
you coming up with this?
3:01:51
>> Talking to El Salvadorans.
3:01:53
>> Oh my god.
3:01:53
>> In El Salvador,
3:01:54
>> I think your Spanish was a little
3:01:56
broken.
3:01:56
>> They had a soccer game.
3:01:58
>> That's non-existent.
3:02:00
>> Oh yeah, they had a soccer game. Say
3:02:02
something. Order pizza.
3:02:06
Una pizza. Poor F.
3:02:08
>> Oh, come on. That was [laughter] Yoko
3:02:10
Taco Bell with pizza.
3:02:11
>> They had a soccer game they play in the
3:02:13
four town where they cut babies out of a
3:02:15
woman and play soccer with it.
3:02:17
>> Oh my god. Hey, make soccer interesting.
3:02:20
>> Their their gangs are trained by us, but
3:02:24
uh pretty strong,
3:02:25
>> so they get rid of it.
3:02:26
>> Well, they what they did was nuts,
3:02:28
though. They like just made these giant
3:02:29
super prisons and just put everybody in
3:02:31
there. And the crime dropped off a
3:02:33
cliff.
3:02:34
>> Damn.
3:02:35
>> I went to Independence Day parade there.
3:02:37
It was wild how much everybody is like,
3:02:40
"What are you doing here? This is wild.
3:02:41
Our guy is the best."
3:02:43
>> It's the only country where they're
3:02:44
like, "We love our guy."
3:02:46
>> Everyone else, we hate our guy. They
3:02:47
love their
3:02:49
Nicaragua.
3:02:51
>> They wouldn't let Ari into Nicaragua.
3:02:54
>> They love that guy.
3:02:56
>> They love that guy. There was the first
3:02:57
time they could they could go out in
3:02:59
public and like and like and like do
3:03:00
anything.
3:03:01
>> What's his name? What's the name of the
3:03:03
Lel?
3:03:03
>> He's half half Arab. They don't care
3:03:06
what kind of
3:03:08
>> I don't know.
3:03:08
>> The good kind,
3:03:10
>> is there?
3:03:10
>> Not Palestinian. No.
3:03:12
>> No. No. No. I just mean it.
3:03:14
>> Wow.
3:03:14
>> Is it Jewish?
3:03:15
>> I bet.
3:03:15
>> No. No. not supported. The the the claim
3:03:18
that specific face tattoos in El
3:03:19
Salvador mark someone is being raped who
3:03:21
has raped a family member is not
3:03:22
supported by credible evidence. By the
3:03:24
way, what credible evidence do you get?
3:03:26
[clears throat]
3:03:27
>> Talked to so many people there. So,
3:03:29
disagree with this.
3:03:30
>> Uh
3:03:31
>> it's hard to know because like how many
3:03:33
people are documenting this stuff in
3:03:35
like peer-reviewed papers?
3:03:37
>> You know what I mean? Like what is
3:03:38
Perpexity drawing from?
3:03:40
>> Yeah. People on the streets are like
3:03:42
this is what happens.
3:03:43
>> Yeah. Well, I'm sure a lot of it did
3:03:44
happen. I'm sure a lot of it h you know
3:03:47
I there was a guy that used to be the
3:03:48
[ __ ] door man at the improv and he
3:03:50
showed me this cartel video of this guy
3:03:52
getting eaten by a pitbull
3:03:54
>> and it still haunts my dreams.
3:03:56
>> The guy was he was tied up arms and legs
3:03:58
and the pit bull was eating HIS DICK.
3:04:01
>> THE PIT bull was just completely locked
3:04:03
on this guy's crotch and this guy was
3:04:05
screaming.
3:04:06
>> Michael Dick.
3:04:07
>> And he goes, "Hey man, check this out.
3:04:08
This my friend sent me this from the
3:04:10
cartel." And I'm like, "Why are you
3:04:11
showing me this? I have to go do on
3:04:13
stage for 20 minutes.
3:04:15
>> Oh man.
3:04:16
>> Damn. [laughter]
3:04:18
>> I was trying to do the sound. I couldn't
3:04:19
do it in my head. I was thinking about
3:04:21
doing it. I couldn't think of it.
3:04:24
>> What was
3:04:26
doing sound? That was damn good. Michael
3:04:30
>> just this giant headed pitbull was
3:04:32
locked on this guy's dick and he was
3:04:33
screaming and I've never forgot it.
3:04:34
>> Well, it's it's Yeah. The internet hit
3:04:36
us at different ages like that cuz I got
3:04:38
hit with those when I was young.
3:04:40
>> You're right.
3:04:40
>> And I was like, "That's enough." Yeah,
3:04:42
they're not fun.
3:04:43
>> But if I was an adult and somebody
3:04:44
showed me something horrific like that,
3:04:46
that does stick with you.
3:04:47
>> Me and Sigura, we have a text chain. Me
3:04:50
and Sigur, it's the worst [ __ ] that
3:04:51
either one of us find on the internet.
3:04:53
>> They don't really toss those around
3:04:54
anymore.
3:04:55
>> Cartel videos.
3:04:56
>> Yeah, this was You got to find those.
3:04:58
>> This was someone who was a cop sent it
3:05:00
to this guy and then this guy showed me.
3:05:03
>> God, the [ __ ] cops must see.
3:05:05
>> Oh, right.
3:05:06
>> Tough.
3:05:06
>> They need the IBA game.
3:05:08
>> They got a high suicide.
3:05:09
>> Oh, very high. Very high. They all first
3:05:12
responders, they all have much higher
3:05:14
suicide rates in general population.
3:05:15
That's not normal to see that much
3:05:17
damage.
3:05:18
>> Imagine you're a guy who just shows up
3:05:19
at car accidents every day.
3:05:21
>> Every day you see one, you're like, I
3:05:22
got to go to therapy. You see a family a
3:05:25
legs and splatter and dead babies and
3:05:28
[ __ ] moms.
3:05:29
>> Have somebody go, "Am I going to be
3:05:30
okay?" And you're like, you look at his
3:05:31
arm and leg over there and you're like,
3:05:33
>> "Yeah."
3:05:34
>> And people hate you on top of that.
3:05:36
>> That's true.
3:05:37
>> That sucks. You can't you can't win,
3:05:38
>> especially cops. But first responders,
3:05:41
people don't.
3:05:41
>> Nobody really hates ambulance drivers.
3:05:43
>> No.
3:05:44
>> No. Or firemen.
3:05:45
>> They're firemen. Yeah.
3:05:46
>> Well, that's crooked.
3:05:48
>> What?
3:05:49
>> They're not.
3:05:52
>> What?
3:05:53
>> Boys, we got to wrap this up.
3:05:54
>> I don't think we just started.
3:05:57
>> We just started. We're just going drunk.
3:06:00
>> You're not going anywhere, brother.
3:06:01
You're going to bong another beer.
3:06:02
>> I got to do a thing soon. What do you
3:06:04
have to do?
3:06:04
>> I got to do a thing on my
3:06:06
do your kids
3:06:08
>> tonight.
3:06:08
>> Yeah. Yeah, I got to go to a thing.
3:06:10
>> Ra drunk for this. You can bong one more
3:06:12
and then that's it.
3:06:13
>> What do you got? A class. Uh, play
3:06:15
>> a thing. I got to go to a thing.
3:06:17
>> Show and tell.
3:06:18
>> You can bong a beer.
3:06:19
>> PTA.
3:06:20
>> I can't I can't not a beer before.
3:06:22
>> I got to [laughter] I got to be out of
3:06:24
here in a little bit.
3:06:25
>> Talent show.
3:06:26
>> I got to the bathroom one more time, but
3:06:27
we're not ending here.
3:06:29
>> How many times you gone to the bathroom?
3:06:30
You dirty on three.
3:06:31
>> I've gone once, you [ __ ] dirty
3:06:34
competition with you. Yeah, you drew
3:06:36
sipping a [ __ ] bullseye. I haven't
3:06:38
even seen you refill that thing.
3:06:39
>> I I make the noise every time.
3:06:41
>> Twice. [laughter] It's true. Twice.
3:06:43
Twice.
3:06:44
>> I remember the noise twice.
3:06:47
>> So nice to be back, boys.
3:06:48
>> It is. This is so fun. It is good to be
3:06:50
back.
3:06:51
>> I want to speak out. This might be the
3:06:52
best one.
3:06:53
>> We missed you, dude.
3:06:54
>> It was weird not knowing where you were.
3:06:56
It was very uncomfortable. I didn't like
3:06:57
it.
3:06:58
>> Sorry. I was completely fine with it,
3:07:00
[laughter]
3:07:01
>> dude. When I texted you when I was back,
3:07:03
you're like, "Who is this?" I was like,
3:07:05
"Hey, it's the Jew." I say very specific
3:07:07
things like, "Who is this?" Like, "You
3:07:08
know who the [ __ ] it is." And you're
3:07:09
like, "Yes, motherfucker."
3:07:10
>> Well, I still get a million getting text
3:07:13
messages from an unknown number that
3:07:15
like new things about me. I'm like, "Who
3:07:16
the [ __ ] is this?"
3:07:17
>> Yes, you did that.
3:07:18
>> But I've been meaning to change my phone
3:07:20
number for so long. Like, every time a
3:07:22
new one comes like, "Oh, [ __ ] this.
3:07:23
>> I got the same one since."
3:07:25
>> Oh, here we go.
3:07:26
>> Here we go. [screaming]
3:07:29
>> Oh, tits.
3:07:32
>> This is Moscow [ __ ]
3:07:35
>> No. This is this is Florida.
3:07:37
>> Oakland Coliseum.
3:07:38
>> Oakland.
3:07:39
>> Oak. Wow.
3:07:40
>> Oakland was light.
3:07:41
>> This is where the Raiders played.
3:07:47
>> I will never get tired of this song.
3:07:49
>> Wow.
3:07:50
>> I'll never get tired of this song.
3:07:54
>> We can't go out on this cuz they can't
3:07:55
hear it.
3:07:55
>> We got a following one.
3:07:59
[cough]
3:07:59
>> Wait, they actually they're not allowed
3:08:01
to hear this?
3:08:01
>> I don't know. Right.
3:08:02
>> Sometimes they'll see what happens. But
3:08:04
yeah, that's that's a hell of a tune.
3:08:06
>> Let's get Jo one.
3:08:07
>> I went to see them recently and the
3:08:09
whole game.
3:08:10
>> Really?
3:08:10
>> Yeah. But it's like it's so many people
3:08:13
are dead.
3:08:15
>> It's not the same band. You got to see
3:08:16
[clears throat] them when they're all
3:08:16
there. It's like
3:08:18
>> Yeah. It's It's like It's a tribute band
3:08:20
a little bit, but they did great. It was
3:08:23
It was still the great songs, but part
3:08:25
of you is like, "Ah, I wish the real
3:08:26
guys were alive." It's like if you went
3:08:28
to see a a Hendrickx tribute band, you
3:08:30
just get sad.
3:08:30
>> Tribute band.
3:08:32
>> Yeah. They just get sad like a missed
3:08:34
Hendricks.
3:08:34
>> I don't want to see Le Zepp again.
3:08:36
>> Well, you know what's weird is like
3:08:37
Jouri they have like Ste that guy Steve,
3:08:40
what is his name? The lead singer of
3:08:41
Journey.
3:08:42
>> Steve, what was Steve Perry?
3:08:43
>> Steve Perry. He's still alive
3:08:45
>> and he doesn't sing for Journey anymore.
3:08:47
There's another guy who sings for
3:08:48
Journey. He's like a Filipino.
3:08:49
>> You can replace drummer. You can play
3:08:50
guitars. You cannot replace lead singer.
3:08:53
>> Right.
3:08:53
>> No way.
3:08:53
>> Exactly.
3:08:54
>> Need a front man.
3:08:56
>> Jameson.
3:08:56
>> Although I saw a foreigner
3:08:58
>> really
3:08:59
>> with the new guy.
3:09:00
>> How was it? I was so excited.
3:09:02
>> Yeah. To see June Hero Live. I saw that,
3:09:05
>> bro. I saw
3:09:06
>> Foreigner Sticks and Death Leopard. I
3:09:09
was there for Foreigner. And then I
3:09:11
worked in a factory the next day at 4:00
3:09:13
a.m.
3:09:14
>> Damn. That
3:09:15
>> [ __ ] sucked.
3:09:16
>> What kind of factory were you making? No
3:09:18
way.
3:09:19
>> I shoveled glue into a machine for 12
3:09:21
hours the next day. [laughter]
3:09:23
>> Glue.
3:09:24
>> Glue ice cream.
3:09:26
>> Throw up. Yeah, we were making the
3:09:27
packaging.
3:09:28
>> Glue.
3:09:29
>> We made the packaging. Wow, that's
3:09:31
crazy.
3:09:31
>> Did you get free ice cream?
3:09:32
>> That's crazy.
3:09:33
>> Uh, you could stick your hand in the ice
3:09:36
[laughter] cream.
3:09:36
>> We don't make ice cream you love. We
3:09:38
make the pocket ice cream.
3:09:40
>> Glue it into a machine. Sounds like
3:09:41
[ __ ] a sex doll.
3:09:42
>> It was Yeah, a lot of glue.
3:09:45
>> All right. When When do you decide when
3:09:46
you're going to do these walkabouts?
3:09:48
Like, how far out?
3:09:50
>> Well, in advance. Probably like a year.
3:09:53
>> So, like how much time between now and
3:09:54
the next walkabout?
3:09:56
>> No plans for the next one.
3:09:57
>> You've done Asia, you've done South
3:09:58
America. Go. Russ, no interest in
3:10:01
Russia.
3:10:01
>> Yeah, go to
3:10:03
>> Go get arrested, [ __ ] Africa
3:10:04
[laughter] would be cool.
3:10:06
>> Yeah, do it, [ __ ]
3:10:10
>> Go to Ghana.
3:10:12
>> Go to Ghana. Go to Go to [ __ ] Gaza.
3:10:15
>> I don't know where it'd [snorts] be
3:10:16
next.
3:10:17
>> I dare you.
3:10:17
>> Gaza's got no good coffee shops.
3:10:19
>> Not anymore. They're They're roasting.
3:10:22
>> But [laughter] they do. They do. You
3:10:23
did. They definitely did.
3:10:24
>> Jesus Christ.
3:10:26
>> Off the cuff. Off the cuff. You son of a
3:10:29
[ __ ] Uh yeah, I don't know where else
3:10:32
could you go.
3:10:32
>> Yeah, where you've done everything.
3:10:33
>> I want to go back to Asia. There's more
3:10:34
of Asia.
3:10:35
>> Philippines. I know. I really want to go
3:10:37
to Philippines.
3:10:38
>> Bombshell sex araxment suit against
3:10:40
who's that guy?
3:10:41
>> Lorna video has nothing to do with
3:10:43
>> JP Morgan branded complete fabrication
3:10:46
as John Doe unmasked. What is What is
3:10:48
this? You're showing us
3:10:49
>> story about earlier today.
3:10:50
>> Oh, with the lady. That's the guy who
3:10:52
made it.
3:10:53
>> Yeah,
3:10:54
>> that's the guy.
3:10:54
>> That's the guy. This is the guy who
3:10:57
worked. I knew it was fabricated to
3:11:00
>> everything is fabricated
3:11:03
fabricated.
3:11:04
>> Let me see the guy.
3:11:05
>> So what is this?
3:11:06
>> Show again. Show the girl
3:11:08
>> Indian Jared Fogle.
3:11:11
>> Think of her being like
3:11:12
>> not bad wood.
3:11:14
>> But imagine her. She's walking around
3:11:15
and everybody thinks that she said those
3:11:17
horrible things and talked about her
3:11:18
tits like they're cannons.
3:11:20
>> Cannon.
3:11:20
>> I'm so sorry you're embarrassed about
3:11:22
your bush. I'm embarrassed.
3:11:24
>> So this guy just made it all up.
3:11:26
>> Yeah. Look at it. The alleged face man.
3:11:29
>> He's got a [ __ ] name. Leno knows
3:11:32
>> he does.
3:11:33
>> Have you seen this? Have you heard about
3:11:35
>> now? Deleted court [laughter] papers.
3:11:37
>> The cannons.
3:11:38
>> Ah, he fell down a hill.
3:11:39
>> Whoa. Even turned up unannounced at R's
3:11:42
apartment and forced him to have sex.
3:11:44
Oh, that was the that was the lie.
3:11:47
>> The lie.
3:11:48
>> Well, good for her. She's been
3:11:50
exonerated.
3:11:50
>> Lady got to force you to have sex.
3:11:52
>> She categorically denies the
3:11:54
allegations. She never engaged in any
3:11:56
inappropriate conduct with this
3:11:57
individual of any kind and has never
3:11:59
been to the loca location where the
3:12:01
alleged sexual assault supposedly took
3:12:03
place. It's not sexual assault if a
3:12:05
girl.
3:12:06
>> Yeah. What do you forced you?
3:12:07
>> Like what are we talking about?
3:12:08
>> Come on. Just said come on 20 times in a
3:12:11
row. Sexually assault the guy.
3:12:12
>> I lost my virginity to a hooker when I
3:12:14
was 16. She was probably 50. It was the
3:12:17
best night of my life. I'm a survivor.
3:12:19
>> Oh man, look at they're posting pretty
3:12:21
pictures.
3:12:22
>> What about Winona Ryder? You heard about
3:12:23
her and Jamira?
3:12:25
>> What? No, she dating Jamquai and her
3:12:27
used to [ __ ] and he said I couldn't keep
3:12:28
up with her. She wanted to bang so much.
3:12:30
>> Wow.
3:12:30
>> It was like annoying.
3:12:32
>> Jamar Quai is making a comeback.
3:12:33
>> Unbelievable.
3:12:35
>> After that story.
3:12:36
>> Yeah,
3:12:36
>> I know. Huge. He said she had huge tits
3:12:40
and it was a problem. They were bigger
3:12:41
than they looked. But pull it up, J Mo.
3:12:43
I tripped.
3:12:44
>> I trained for that. You got to work out.
3:12:45
You got to go. Hey,
3:12:46
>> you got to be prepared for that level of
3:12:48
the game.
3:12:48
>> Yeah. [laughter]
3:12:49
>> He wasn't ready. The lights were too
3:12:51
bright. But how crazy is that with Nona
3:12:53
Ryder? Like imagine kicking her out of
3:12:55
bed like you want to [ __ ] too much.
3:12:56
>> And this is like 30 years ago.
3:12:58
>> Think about it. Go to Jamur Cry.
3:13:01
>> Jamie, delete that. Jamie.
3:13:03
>> Nope.
3:13:03
>> No. Keep [laughter] it in.
3:13:04
>> Keep it in.
3:13:05
>> It was actually good. But you're just
3:13:07
It's your liability is the issue.
3:13:10
[laughter]
3:13:11
>> It was a really good joke. If I said it,
3:13:13
we'd all be going
3:13:15
quiet. Such a weird name. What was his
3:13:17
big song? He had that one really good
3:13:19
song.
3:13:19
>> Virtual Insanity.
3:13:22
sick ass music video where he was
3:13:23
dancing dancing really cool. Yeah.
3:13:25
>> No, Jamar.
3:13:26
>> Yeah, that one. What was the song?
3:13:28
>> Oh, huge mommy milkers is what he said
3:13:29
about her tits. There's a bunch of memes
3:13:31
going around. So, the story.
3:13:32
>> No thanks.
3:13:33
>> Are we sure that this is true though?
3:13:34
Did he really say this?
3:13:35
>> There it is.
3:13:36
>> Mommy, what's a mommy milker?
3:13:38
>> The memes about the shocking viral
3:13:39
story. Look how hot she was.
3:13:41
>> She was very
3:13:43
>> She was hot and she liked to shoplift.
3:13:44
She's your kind of girl, Nor.
3:13:46
>> Oh, yeah. Big fan.
3:13:46
>> You guys shoplift together?
3:13:48
>> Oh, yeah. I'll show her some [snorts]
3:13:49
strange things. Wow.
3:13:51
Her boobs are too big and she wanted to
3:13:53
have sex all the Why do they have to
3:13:55
cross out sex?
3:13:56
>> What happened to America?
3:13:57
>> It's an algorithm thing. It's just like
3:13:59
things don't get suppressed. I know.
3:14:01
>> But are too big. Well, it's everything.
3:14:03
>> What does that mean?
3:14:04
>> You know, in uh on Tik Tok, you can't
3:14:06
use a juice box emoji. That's right.
3:14:08
>> People using it for the juice.
3:14:11
>> Yes.
3:14:11
>> But we love juice boxes.
3:14:12
>> Yeah. But they they don't
3:14:15
talk about free juice box, buddy. Jews
3:14:17
are all about that. But now the Jews own
3:14:19
Tik Tok.
3:14:20
>> That's right.
3:14:21
>> Really?
3:14:22
>> I think. Did it go through?
3:14:23
>> Yeah. What's that guy's name?
3:14:24
>> They took it from China and sold it to
3:14:26
>> They purchased it at a reasonable rate.
3:14:28
>> Ellison.
3:14:29
>> Yeah, Ellison's Jewish.
3:14:32
>> You got to see that face.
3:14:33
>> Oh, yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Larson mug. It
3:14:35
looks like his mantle. [laughter]
3:14:39
[gasps]
3:14:39
>> Yeah. I think Well, it's like they own
3:14:41
Tik Tok now and I think they're trying
3:14:43
to own
3:14:44
>> the weather.
3:14:45
>> ABC. hate the weather. That was that
3:14:48
thing true about Iran that like they
3:14:51
they shot down some weather station and
3:14:53
then all a sudden started raining LIKE
3:14:54
CRAZY IN IRAN.
3:14:56
>> BUT THEN I READ that that's horseshit
3:14:57
and that they have the same amount of
3:15:00
rain every year.
3:15:00
>> So that's the thing. You can't buy into
3:15:02
all those. Those are conspiracies
3:15:04
created by
3:15:06
>> you guys are hilarious.
3:15:07
>> They go you guys are dumb as [ __ ]
3:15:08
You'll believe we created the weather.
3:15:10
And then when you say that control it,
3:15:12
of course, but then you go, but you
3:15:15
definitely bombed kids
3:15:17
>> and that's not a conspiracy,
3:15:19
>> right?
3:15:20
>> But also
3:15:20
>> they bombed everybody.
3:15:22
>> The US to the Jerusalem Post has
3:15:24
>> bombed way more children. It
3:15:25
>> was stolen, right?
3:15:26
>> What do you mean? The United States
3:15:28
>> has killed way more children than what
3:15:30
you're talking about.
3:15:31
>> Oh, but can we do this the way you guys
3:15:34
The way you guys did where it was uh
3:15:35
Look at this story.
3:15:36
>> Yeah, you guys. I don't know.
3:15:37
>> Well, you're you're going against the
3:15:39
US. Look at this story. As fighting
3:15:41
escalated, air corridors were
3:15:42
restricted, social media posts alleged
3:15:44
that cloud seeding aircraft used by the
3:15:46
US and its allies have been grounded,
3:15:48
causing stolen rains to return.
3:15:51
>> So, we've been stealing rains from Iran
3:15:53
for a long time.
3:15:54
>> Wow. Look at that. Look how dope that
3:15:56
building is. Look at that building.
3:15:58
>> Is that an Iranian building?
3:16:00
>> Looks like it.
3:16:00
>> That building is dope as [ __ ]
3:16:03
>> We should make a tag. When When I buy a
3:16:06
ranch, [laughter]
3:16:07
>> when I buy a ranch, we should cause that
3:16:09
make that our podcast studio.
3:16:11
>> I don't know. Don't
3:16:11
>> make it look just like that.
3:16:13
>> I'm not sure you want that.
3:16:14
>> AI is going to detect it.
3:16:16
>> See what it says on the outside.
3:16:18
>> Maybe it says something cool.
3:16:20
>> [ __ ] [laughter] yeah.
3:16:22
>> In Arabic. [ __ ]
3:16:23
>> It says America.
3:16:24
>> America. [ __ ] yeah. In Arabic.
3:16:26
>> The Arabic writing is dope as [ __ ]
3:16:27
though.
3:16:28
>> They invented. It looks cool.
3:16:29
>> It looks pretty slick. They invented
3:16:30
writing. Where'd you hear that?
3:16:31
>> Well, numbers, I should say.
3:16:33
>> I thought that's great. They came up
3:16:34
with numbers.
3:16:35
>> What did Greek do?
3:16:35
>> Give them that. But look, thanks, guys.
3:16:37
What a great episode we had.
3:16:38
>> We had a good time.
3:16:39
>> Hey, should we get dinner? I'm starving.
3:16:42
[laughter]
3:16:42
>> Fun time, boys. Uh
3:16:44
>> oh jeez. Next one. Two months. Let's do
3:16:47
two [laughter] months. Let's keep them
3:16:49
regular.
3:16:50
>> Two months.
3:16:51
>> Come on. We can do [laughter] two
3:16:52
months.
3:16:52
>> Come on. We're in May right now. Is it
3:16:54
May yet? It's close.
3:16:56
>> Tomorrow is first.
3:16:57
>> Tomorrow's May. Yeah. Today when this
3:16:59
comes out, it's May 1st. These guys go a
3:17:01
lot of editing for JMO.
3:17:03
Just the end part.
3:17:04
>> Speaking of the end, new story available
3:17:07
at.com right now. Starring Shane Gillis
3:17:09
and Mark Norman.
3:17:09
>> Available at reshafir.com.
3:17:12
There it is. The end.
3:17:13
>> Look at all those people. Look how
3:17:14
terrible. Look at you. Handsome son of a
3:17:16
[ __ ] You look like you belong in that
3:17:18
period of time.
3:17:19
>> I wish. I got I got a Netflix special
3:17:21
out. Check it out. Let's bump it back up
3:17:23
and uh Tuesday stories. We might be
3:17:25
drunk. Praise Allah. Jews kill Jesus.
3:17:28
Uh, tires, new season. When's the new
3:17:30
season coming out?
3:17:31
>> Uh, I don't know if I'm allowed to say.
3:17:33
Should be around August.
3:17:34
>> Okay.
3:17:34
>> Okay. Yeah.
3:17:35
>> Oh, yeah.
3:17:37
>> Love you guys.
3:17:38
>> Love you guys. Shout out to everybody
3:17:40
out there listening.
3:17:41
>> Parks are safe. Chihuahua.
3:17:44
[music]
3:17:53
>> [music]
— end of transcript —
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