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10:01
Transcript
0:00
hey Peter you can't drink that outside
0:01
you you can end up in jail and not the
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good jail like on Cinemax the man jail
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go back and pay the bill Peter you uh
0:08
don't want to break the law I can do
0:10
whatever I want watch this oh now you're
0:14
just being crazy hey that's against the
0:17
law you're coming with me can't touch me
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0:23
tension delegates decision of the United
0:26
Nations is hereby convened man shucks
0:30
hey podium guy hey I got a problem here
0:32
excuse me some of us are here to learn
0:34
no one's talking to you Albania he's
0:37
dead a problem back there
0:38
you bet your funny accent there's a
0:40
problem I'm stuck up here in the
0:41
nosebleeds I am president of Victoria I
0:44
want a better seat
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0:45
oh of course how could we not have
0:47
recognized the great nation of petoria
0:49
have a seat up front well that's more
0:52
like it
0:53
and hey would you also like a special
0:55
satellite that can scratch her ass with
0:56
a laser beam from space hey have those
1:07
hey how you doing hey you mind if I yeah
1:12
they don't respect you what do you mean
1:14
listen to me I used to be the
1:16
laughingstock around here until my
1:18
country invaded Kuwait now I have a seat
1:20
in the third row look the only way to
1:22
get any respect around here is to find
1:24
something you want and just dig it wait
1:27
a second if everybody respects you how
1:28
come you still eating here by yourself I
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don't shower oh that's what that is take
1:34
what I want
1:38
morning Peter what are you doing in my
1:40
pool this is the newest province of
1:43
Pretoria I call it Joe hi Oh what
1:46
you can't just come over here and annex
1:47
my pool oh yeah
1:49
well according to paragraph seven
1:51
sentence three word eight of the Geneva
1:53
Convention the so tough luck Swanson so
1:59
as you can see patria has invaded US
2:02
soil what are our options well a
2:04
military strike against such a small
2:06
nation could cause an international
2:07
backlash true but this kind of behavior
2:09
can't be tolerated
2:10
agreed I suggest we start with political
2:13
sanctions very good gentlemen
2:15
[Music]
2:19
well I guess the world to show me a
2:21
little more respect now dad I tried to
2:23
go to school but this guy won't let me
2:26
oh yeah him in what army
2:28
the US Army how did you cut army
2:36
the scene outside the u.s. petorian
2:39
border as the Sun rises on day one of
2:41
Operation Desert clam good morning I'm
2:44
Diane Simmons we now go to Tom Tucker
2:46
live at the site of the u.s. blockade
2:48
Tom diane i'm here at the petorian front
2:51
where the US has cut off electricity
2:52
water and gas to the tiny four-bedroom
2:55
republic the situation is very tense and
2:57
extremely dangerous and now sports over
3:08
here honey I'm chopping carrots for a
3:10
salad here he was this headlamp yeah
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where's the kids upstairs doing their
3:17
homework i candlelight damn pig dog
3:19
Americans messing with my family like
3:21
this you know it's just it's just you
3:25
know Peter I'm up here Oh sweetie maybe
3:29
you should go over to Joe's and return
3:30
his paw huh we're a real country and we
3:33
deserve all the rights and privileges
3:35
that everyone else gets but we have to
3:37
think about the welfare of our children
3:39
Stewie is that you look Lois my mind I'm
3:43
not giving up an inch of petorian soil
3:45
it's not a sign of weakness to
3:47
compromise I just think you should Pete
3:50
uh stop staring at my chest oh yeah
3:52
sorry Lois
3:56
and we're back with our roundtable
3:58
discussion on the Praetorian crisis you
4:01
were making a point John yes what the
4:03
United States is doing to petoria right
4:05
now is criminal
4:06
nonsense forces the only thing a
4:08
desperate like Peter Griffin understands
4:13
oh it's oh it's ridiculous clearly I'm
4:16
he's a factory worker not a despot
4:17
you're missing the point our blockade is
4:19
turning Pretoria into a third-world
4:21
country okay
4:29
can anybody tell me what the square root
4:32
of a hypotenuse is when Chris is that
4:34
amount no yes it is
4:37
would you like to read it for the rest
4:39
of the class no just read it lardo I
4:44
think mrs. Griffin's hot go to your room
4:48
damn you Rupert keep these little some
4:50
insects away from me or you'll end up
4:52
like mr. giraffe hi I'm Susan Sarandon a
4:56
lot of you know me as Tim Robbins mother
4:58
but I'm actually his girlfriend and this
5:01
is Stewie
5:03
the tooth for less than the ticket price
5:05
of one of my movies about capital
5:07
punishment or Neil feminism you can make
5:10
sure that Stewie never goes hungry again
5:12
yes I'm from the look of those sweater
5:14
cows so can you
5:19
good morning subjects what's for
5:21
breakfast
5:22
nothing you idiot we don't have any food
5:24
Peter this has gotten way out of hand
5:26
look at what for a toast to our own baby
5:29
has to use newspapers for diapers no no
5:31
this is fine
5:32
one second I'm just about finished with
5:34
Family Circus
5:39
who did that Jeffy not me
5:42
thank God I haven't seen everyone this
5:43
miserable since that time we were
5:45
tortured I'm sorry will you just
5:52
whipping me in there just did I just get
5:53
bit by a mosquito hey Lois if you happen
5:57
to see the dungeon master can you can
5:58
you tell me grandmother was just trying
6:00
to work me over it's time to call this
6:02
whole thing off nobody's on our side are
6:05
you nuts look at all these telegrams
6:07
nice going Libya
6:08
you know man North Korea great job Iraq
6:11
Iraq Lois you know what I'm gonna fight
6:14
a few of these fellas over for a party
6:17
[Music]
6:20
Lois I told you we had allies hey you
6:24
made it
6:24
I didn't know what to bring so I made
6:26
coleslaw it's made of people
6:28
just kidding hey is mom out here yet
6:30
yeah he's over there with Saddam and
6:32
then Jerry guessed that her name was
6:34
Mulva that show is so funny it really
6:39
reminds me of me and my friends you know
6:41
the way we just hang out before I kill
6:43
them for worshipping the wrong God yeah
6:45
and I love that Kramer guy he comes in
6:46
the room like this you know Marco Marco
6:53
Oh
6:54
fish out of water yeah yeah Manuel
7:02
Manuel do you want it can you ask him if
7:05
he wants cheese Fidel no running around
7:07
the pool I say I think Achmed what what
7:11
is it thing you people do when you when
7:13
you're about to assassinate an infidel
7:15
ah you mean this
7:18
[Applause]
7:19
[Music]
7:20
[Applause]
7:25
what do you think you're going Amerika
7:28
I've had enough you can keep this filthy
7:31
mess you call a country come on kids
7:33
this is treason
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Oh for god sake Peter make an example of
7:37
her nothing says obey me like a bloody
7:39
head or a fencepost
7:40
let's go we're crossing the border
7:42
goodbye president Griffin well Brian at
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least you're loyal enough to stay with
7:46
me
7:46
yeah I've stuck by you through worse I
7:53
guess it's you and me against the world
7:56
buddy
7:59
as you may presently yourself fully be
8:01
aware of my grammar sucks but more
8:03
importantly we're about to commence
8:05
operation bomb the crap out of your
8:07
house the guy who thinks up the names is
8:09
on vacation the answer your question
8:15
something like that a guy who Ames was
8:17
in the John there is what's coming right
8:20
at you please a Peter it's over why
8:22
don't you sit down with the mayor and
8:24
negotiate some kind of treaty negotiate
8:26
Peter Griffin doesn't know the meaning
8:28
of a word negotiate thank you all for
8:35
coming we invited Jesse Jackson to open
8:37
our negotiations with a prayer
8:40
unfortunately he couldn't make it so in
8:43
his place we have la Toya Jackson Thanks
8:46
um rub-a-dub-dub thanks for the grub yay
8:50
God how very inappropriate thank you now
8:54
mr. Griffin would you like to begin okay
8:56
after much thought in consideration I
8:58
have decided to make a concession at
9:00
2:00 very good Peter
9:02
first I will return Joe's pool oh you
9:04
got that right in exchange I demand
9:07
access to it on alternate weekends
9:08
no accept it I also demand to remain my
9:12
own independent nation absolutely not
9:14
well how about you just give me your pen
9:16
you mean this cheap a little pen we have
9:17
millions of back at the office yeah no
9:20
oh man so after all this I end up with
9:22
nothing
9:23
how about this every night when you get
9:25
home from work I'll scratch your back
9:27
with
9:28
for cover like you like loris
9:31
Oh would you call me big Rudy when you
9:33
do it now and that's the story of
9:36
Pattaya a little nation that 200 years
9:38
ago seceded and repatriated in less than
9:41
a week any questions yeah I don't get it
9:45
so like can the family understand the
9:47
baby or or what what's the deal with
9:49
that
9:50
[Music]
— end of transcript —
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