1 00:00:00,060 --> 00:00:03,899 hey Peter you can't drink that outside 2 00:00:01,919 --> 00:00:05,759 you you can end up in jail and not the 3 00:00:03,899 --> 00:00:08,429 good jail like on Cinemax the man jail 4 00:00:05,759 --> 00:00:10,320 go back and pay the bill Peter you uh 5 00:00:08,429 --> 00:00:14,519 don't want to break the law I can do 6 00:00:10,320 --> 00:00:17,310 whatever I want watch this oh now you're 7 00:00:14,519 --> 00:00:22,789 just being crazy hey that's against the 8 00:00:17,309 --> 00:00:22,788 law you're coming with me can't touch me 9 00:00:23,480 --> 00:00:30,390 tension delegates decision of the United 10 00:00:26,910 --> 00:00:32,789 Nations is hereby convened man shucks 11 00:00:30,390 --> 00:00:34,739 hey podium guy hey I got a problem here 12 00:00:32,789 --> 00:00:37,289 excuse me some of us are here to learn 13 00:00:34,738 --> 00:00:38,669 no one's talking to you Albania he's 14 00:00:37,289 --> 00:00:40,350 dead a problem back there 15 00:00:38,670 --> 00:00:41,850 you bet your funny accent there's a 16 00:00:40,350 --> 00:00:44,189 problem I'm stuck up here in the 17 00:00:41,850 --> 00:00:45,239 nosebleeds I am president of Victoria I 18 00:00:44,189 --> 00:00:47,399 want a better seat 19 00:00:45,238 --> 00:00:49,589 oh of course how could we not have 20 00:00:47,399 --> 00:00:52,620 recognized the great nation of petoria 21 00:00:49,590 --> 00:00:53,129 have a seat up front well that's more 22 00:00:52,619 --> 00:00:55,169 like it 23 00:00:53,128 --> 00:00:56,759 and hey would you also like a special 24 00:00:55,170 --> 00:01:01,189 satellite that can scratch her ass with 25 00:00:56,759 --> 00:01:01,189 a laser beam from space hey have those 26 00:01:07,680 --> 00:01:14,618 hey how you doing hey you mind if I yeah 27 00:01:12,030 --> 00:01:16,689 they don't respect you what do you mean 28 00:01:14,618 --> 00:01:18,069 listen to me I used to be the 29 00:01:16,688 --> 00:01:20,439 laughingstock around here until my 30 00:01:18,069 --> 00:01:22,809 country invaded Kuwait now I have a seat 31 00:01:20,439 --> 00:01:24,759 in the third row look the only way to 32 00:01:22,810 --> 00:01:27,310 get any respect around here is to find 33 00:01:24,759 --> 00:01:28,780 something you want and just dig it wait 34 00:01:27,310 --> 00:01:30,460 a second if everybody respects you how 35 00:01:28,780 --> 00:01:34,539 come you still eating here by yourself I 36 00:01:30,459 --> 00:01:37,228 don't shower oh that's what that is take 37 00:01:34,539 --> 00:01:37,228 what I want 38 00:01:38,099 --> 00:01:43,059 morning Peter what are you doing in my 39 00:01:40,989 --> 00:01:46,149 pool this is the newest province of 40 00:01:43,060 --> 00:01:47,710 Pretoria I call it Joe hi Oh what 41 00:01:46,149 --> 00:01:49,269 you can't just come over here and annex 42 00:01:47,709 --> 00:01:51,309 my pool oh yeah 43 00:01:49,269 --> 00:01:53,228 well according to paragraph seven 44 00:01:51,310 --> 00:01:59,560 sentence three word eight of the Geneva 45 00:01:53,228 --> 00:02:02,019 Convention the so tough luck Swanson so 46 00:01:59,560 --> 00:02:04,689 as you can see patria has invaded US 47 00:02:02,019 --> 00:02:06,368 soil what are our options well a 48 00:02:04,689 --> 00:02:07,689 military strike against such a small 49 00:02:06,368 --> 00:02:09,699 nation could cause an international 50 00:02:07,689 --> 00:02:10,959 backlash true but this kind of behavior 51 00:02:09,699 --> 00:02:13,299 can't be tolerated 52 00:02:10,959 --> 00:02:15,000 agreed I suggest we start with political 53 00:02:13,300 --> 00:02:19,069 sanctions very good gentlemen 54 00:02:15,000 --> 00:02:21,049 [Music] 55 00:02:19,068 --> 00:02:23,780 well I guess the world to show me a 56 00:02:21,049 --> 00:02:26,239 little more respect now dad I tried to 57 00:02:23,780 --> 00:02:28,098 go to school but this guy won't let me 58 00:02:26,239 --> 00:02:34,420 oh yeah him in what army 59 00:02:28,098 --> 00:02:34,419 the US Army how did you cut army 60 00:02:36,269 --> 00:02:41,349 the scene outside the u.s. petorian 61 00:02:39,128 --> 00:02:44,530 border as the Sun rises on day one of 62 00:02:41,348 --> 00:02:46,929 Operation Desert clam good morning I'm 63 00:02:44,530 --> 00:02:48,370 Diane Simmons we now go to Tom Tucker 64 00:02:46,930 --> 00:02:51,310 live at the site of the u.s. blockade 65 00:02:48,370 --> 00:02:52,750 Tom diane i'm here at the petorian front 66 00:02:51,310 --> 00:02:55,420 where the US has cut off electricity 67 00:02:52,750 --> 00:02:57,818 water and gas to the tiny four-bedroom 68 00:02:55,419 --> 00:03:08,798 republic the situation is very tense and 69 00:02:57,818 --> 00:03:10,899 extremely dangerous and now sports over 70 00:03:08,799 --> 00:03:14,950 here honey I'm chopping carrots for a 71 00:03:10,900 --> 00:03:17,260 salad here he was this headlamp yeah 72 00:03:14,949 --> 00:03:19,869 where's the kids upstairs doing their 73 00:03:17,259 --> 00:03:21,878 homework i candlelight damn pig dog 74 00:03:19,870 --> 00:03:25,870 Americans messing with my family like 75 00:03:21,878 --> 00:03:29,138 this you know it's just it's just you 76 00:03:25,870 --> 00:03:30,879 know Peter I'm up here Oh sweetie maybe 77 00:03:29,139 --> 00:03:33,879 you should go over to Joe's and return 78 00:03:30,878 --> 00:03:35,018 his paw huh we're a real country and we 79 00:03:33,878 --> 00:03:37,090 deserve all the rights and privileges 80 00:03:35,019 --> 00:03:39,209 that everyone else gets but we have to 81 00:03:37,090 --> 00:03:43,120 think about the welfare of our children 82 00:03:39,209 --> 00:03:45,128 Stewie is that you look Lois my mind I'm 83 00:03:43,120 --> 00:03:47,049 not giving up an inch of petorian soil 84 00:03:45,128 --> 00:03:50,018 it's not a sign of weakness to 85 00:03:47,049 --> 00:03:52,269 compromise I just think you should Pete 86 00:03:50,019 --> 00:03:54,840 uh stop staring at my chest oh yeah 87 00:03:52,269 --> 00:03:54,840 sorry Lois 88 00:03:56,129 --> 00:04:01,319 and we're back with our roundtable 89 00:03:58,650 --> 00:04:03,390 discussion on the Praetorian crisis you 90 00:04:01,319 --> 00:04:05,489 were making a point John yes what the 91 00:04:03,389 --> 00:04:06,809 United States is doing to petoria right 92 00:04:05,490 --> 00:04:08,820 now is criminal 93 00:04:06,810 --> 00:04:12,680 nonsense forces the only thing a 94 00:04:08,819 --> 00:04:12,680 desperate like Peter Griffin understands 95 00:04:13,009 --> 00:04:17,939 oh it's oh it's ridiculous clearly I'm 96 00:04:16,050 --> 00:04:19,949 he's a factory worker not a despot 97 00:04:17,939 --> 00:04:21,389 you're missing the point our blockade is 98 00:04:19,949 --> 00:04:29,879 turning Pretoria into a third-world 99 00:04:21,389 --> 00:04:32,039 country okay 100 00:04:29,879 --> 00:04:34,889 can anybody tell me what the square root 101 00:04:32,040 --> 00:04:37,319 of a hypotenuse is when Chris is that 102 00:04:34,889 --> 00:04:39,180 amount no yes it is 103 00:04:37,319 --> 00:04:44,149 would you like to read it for the rest 104 00:04:39,180 --> 00:04:48,319 of the class no just read it lardo I 105 00:04:44,149 --> 00:04:50,849 think mrs. Griffin's hot go to your room 106 00:04:48,319 --> 00:04:52,379 damn you Rupert keep these little some 107 00:04:50,850 --> 00:04:56,520 insects away from me or you'll end up 108 00:04:52,379 --> 00:04:58,649 like mr. giraffe hi I'm Susan Sarandon a 109 00:04:56,519 --> 00:05:01,889 lot of you know me as Tim Robbins mother 110 00:04:58,649 --> 00:05:03,000 but I'm actually his girlfriend and this 111 00:05:01,889 --> 00:05:05,519 is Stewie 112 00:05:03,000 --> 00:05:07,529 the tooth for less than the ticket price 113 00:05:05,519 --> 00:05:10,049 of one of my movies about capital 114 00:05:07,529 --> 00:05:12,149 punishment or Neil feminism you can make 115 00:05:10,050 --> 00:05:14,100 sure that Stewie never goes hungry again 116 00:05:12,149 --> 00:05:17,329 yes I'm from the look of those sweater 117 00:05:14,100 --> 00:05:17,330 cows so can you 118 00:05:19,158 --> 00:05:22,218 good morning subjects what's for 119 00:05:21,738 --> 00:05:24,769 breakfast 120 00:05:22,218 --> 00:05:26,558 nothing you idiot we don't have any food 121 00:05:24,769 --> 00:05:29,389 Peter this has gotten way out of hand 122 00:05:26,559 --> 00:05:31,759 look at what for a toast to our own baby 123 00:05:29,389 --> 00:05:32,899 has to use newspapers for diapers no no 124 00:05:31,759 --> 00:05:34,610 this is fine 125 00:05:32,899 --> 00:05:37,478 one second I'm just about finished with 126 00:05:34,610 --> 00:05:37,479 Family Circus 127 00:05:39,110 --> 00:05:43,999 who did that Jeffy not me 128 00:05:42,228 --> 00:05:45,468 thank God I haven't seen everyone this 129 00:05:43,999 --> 00:05:52,399 miserable since that time we were 130 00:05:45,468 --> 00:05:53,959 tortured I'm sorry will you just 131 00:05:52,399 --> 00:05:57,379 whipping me in there just did I just get 132 00:05:53,959 --> 00:05:58,968 bit by a mosquito hey Lois if you happen 133 00:05:57,379 --> 00:06:00,408 to see the dungeon master can you can 134 00:05:58,968 --> 00:06:02,418 you tell me grandmother was just trying 135 00:06:00,408 --> 00:06:05,569 to work me over it's time to call this 136 00:06:02,418 --> 00:06:07,038 whole thing off nobody's on our side are 137 00:06:05,569 --> 00:06:08,899 you nuts look at all these telegrams 138 00:06:07,038 --> 00:06:11,778 nice going Libya 139 00:06:08,899 --> 00:06:14,658 you know man North Korea great job Iraq 140 00:06:11,778 --> 00:06:17,490 Iraq Lois you know what I'm gonna fight 141 00:06:14,658 --> 00:06:20,050 a few of these fellas over for a party 142 00:06:17,490 --> 00:06:24,408 [Music] 143 00:06:20,050 --> 00:06:24,860 Lois I told you we had allies hey you 144 00:06:24,408 --> 00:06:26,329 made it 145 00:06:24,860 --> 00:06:28,908 I didn't know what to bring so I made 146 00:06:26,329 --> 00:06:30,918 coleslaw it's made of people 147 00:06:28,908 --> 00:06:32,658 just kidding hey is mom out here yet 148 00:06:30,918 --> 00:06:34,698 yeah he's over there with Saddam and 149 00:06:32,658 --> 00:06:39,978 then Jerry guessed that her name was 150 00:06:34,699 --> 00:06:41,629 Mulva that show is so funny it really 151 00:06:39,978 --> 00:06:43,428 reminds me of me and my friends you know 152 00:06:41,629 --> 00:06:45,139 the way we just hang out before I kill 153 00:06:43,428 --> 00:06:46,878 them for worshipping the wrong God yeah 154 00:06:45,139 --> 00:06:53,209 and I love that Kramer guy he comes in 155 00:06:46,879 --> 00:06:54,218 the room like this you know Marco Marco 156 00:06:53,209 --> 00:07:02,509 Oh 157 00:06:54,218 --> 00:07:05,118 fish out of water yeah yeah Manuel 158 00:07:02,509 --> 00:07:07,579 Manuel do you want it can you ask him if 159 00:07:05,119 --> 00:07:11,869 he wants cheese Fidel no running around 160 00:07:07,579 --> 00:07:13,459 the pool I say I think Achmed what what 161 00:07:11,869 --> 00:07:15,050 is it thing you people do when you when 162 00:07:13,459 --> 00:07:18,278 you're about to assassinate an infidel 163 00:07:15,050 --> 00:07:18,278 ah you mean this 164 00:07:18,290 --> 00:07:20,600 [Applause] 165 00:07:19,290 --> 00:07:25,100 [Music] 166 00:07:20,600 --> 00:07:25,100 [Applause] 167 00:07:25,720 --> 00:07:31,520 what do you think you're going Amerika 168 00:07:28,579 --> 00:07:33,829 I've had enough you can keep this filthy 169 00:07:31,519 --> 00:07:35,120 mess you call a country come on kids 170 00:07:33,829 --> 00:07:37,069 this is treason 171 00:07:35,120 --> 00:07:39,050 Oh for god sake Peter make an example of 172 00:07:37,069 --> 00:07:40,189 her nothing says obey me like a bloody 173 00:07:39,050 --> 00:07:42,199 head or a fencepost 174 00:07:40,189 --> 00:07:45,019 let's go we're crossing the border 175 00:07:42,199 --> 00:07:46,550 goodbye president Griffin well Brian at 176 00:07:45,019 --> 00:07:46,819 least you're loyal enough to stay with 177 00:07:46,550 --> 00:07:50,710 me 178 00:07:46,819 --> 00:07:50,709 yeah I've stuck by you through worse I 179 00:07:53,889 --> 00:07:59,019 guess it's you and me against the world 180 00:07:56,600 --> 00:07:59,020 buddy 181 00:07:59,029 --> 00:08:03,859 as you may presently yourself fully be 182 00:08:01,220 --> 00:08:05,360 aware of my grammar sucks but more 183 00:08:03,860 --> 00:08:07,310 importantly we're about to commence 184 00:08:05,360 --> 00:08:09,439 operation bomb the crap out of your 185 00:08:07,310 --> 00:08:15,410 house the guy who thinks up the names is 186 00:08:09,439 --> 00:08:17,569 on vacation the answer your question 187 00:08:15,410 --> 00:08:20,900 something like that a guy who Ames was 188 00:08:17,569 --> 00:08:22,879 in the John there is what's coming right 189 00:08:20,899 --> 00:08:24,259 at you please a Peter it's over why 190 00:08:22,879 --> 00:08:26,449 don't you sit down with the mayor and 191 00:08:24,259 --> 00:08:28,459 negotiate some kind of treaty negotiate 192 00:08:26,449 --> 00:08:35,090 Peter Griffin doesn't know the meaning 193 00:08:28,459 --> 00:08:37,610 of a word negotiate thank you all for 194 00:08:35,090 --> 00:08:40,870 coming we invited Jesse Jackson to open 195 00:08:37,610 --> 00:08:43,279 our negotiations with a prayer 196 00:08:40,870 --> 00:08:46,669 unfortunately he couldn't make it so in 197 00:08:43,279 --> 00:08:50,870 his place we have la Toya Jackson Thanks 198 00:08:46,669 --> 00:08:54,079 um rub-a-dub-dub thanks for the grub yay 199 00:08:50,870 --> 00:08:56,389 God how very inappropriate thank you now 200 00:08:54,080 --> 00:08:58,639 mr. Griffin would you like to begin okay 201 00:08:56,389 --> 00:09:00,620 after much thought in consideration I 202 00:08:58,639 --> 00:09:02,000 have decided to make a concession at 203 00:09:00,620 --> 00:09:04,970 2:00 very good Peter 204 00:09:02,000 --> 00:09:07,190 first I will return Joe's pool oh you 205 00:09:04,970 --> 00:09:08,990 got that right in exchange I demand 206 00:09:07,190 --> 00:09:12,380 access to it on alternate weekends 207 00:09:08,990 --> 00:09:14,899 no accept it I also demand to remain my 208 00:09:12,379 --> 00:09:16,070 own independent nation absolutely not 209 00:09:14,899 --> 00:09:17,929 well how about you just give me your pen 210 00:09:16,070 --> 00:09:20,180 you mean this cheap a little pen we have 211 00:09:17,929 --> 00:09:22,639 millions of back at the office yeah no 212 00:09:20,179 --> 00:09:23,179 oh man so after all this I end up with 213 00:09:22,639 --> 00:09:25,549 nothing 214 00:09:23,179 --> 00:09:27,529 how about this every night when you get 215 00:09:25,549 --> 00:09:28,099 home from work I'll scratch your back 216 00:09:27,529 --> 00:09:31,159 with 217 00:09:28,100 --> 00:09:33,350 for cover like you like loris 218 00:09:31,159 --> 00:09:36,019 Oh would you call me big Rudy when you 219 00:09:33,350 --> 00:09:38,870 do it now and that's the story of 220 00:09:36,019 --> 00:09:41,210 Pattaya a little nation that 200 years 221 00:09:38,870 --> 00:09:45,169 ago seceded and repatriated in less than 222 00:09:41,210 --> 00:09:47,450 a week any questions yeah I don't get it 223 00:09:45,169 --> 00:09:49,549 so like can the family understand the 224 00:09:47,450 --> 00:09:50,340 baby or or what what's the deal with 225 00:09:49,549 --> 00:10:03,079 that 226 00:09:50,340 --> 00:10:03,080 [Music]