[00:00] hey Peter you can't drink that outside
[00:01] you you can end up in jail and not the
[00:03] good jail like on Cinemax the man jail
[00:05] go back and pay the bill Peter you uh
[00:08] don't want to break the law I can do
[00:10] whatever I want watch this oh now you're
[00:14] just being crazy hey that's against the
[00:17] law you're coming with me can't touch me
[00:23] tension delegates decision of the United
[00:26] Nations is hereby convened man shucks
[00:30] hey podium guy hey I got a problem here
[00:32] excuse me some of us are here to learn
[00:34] no one's talking to you Albania he's
[00:37] dead a problem back there
[00:38] you bet your funny accent there's a
[00:40] problem I'm stuck up here in the
[00:41] nosebleeds I am president of Victoria I
[00:44] want a better seat
[00:45] oh of course how could we not have
[00:47] recognized the great nation of petoria
[00:49] have a seat up front well that's more
[00:52] like it
[00:53] and hey would you also like a special
[00:55] satellite that can scratch her ass with
[00:56] a laser beam from space hey have those
[01:07] hey how you doing hey you mind if I yeah
[01:12] they don't respect you what do you mean
[01:14] listen to me I used to be the
[01:16] laughingstock around here until my
[01:18] country invaded Kuwait now I have a seat
[01:20] in the third row look the only way to
[01:22] get any respect around here is to find
[01:24] something you want and just dig it wait
[01:27] a second if everybody respects you how
[01:28] come you still eating here by yourself I
[01:30] don't shower oh that's what that is take
[01:34] what I want
[01:38] morning Peter what are you doing in my
[01:40] pool this is the newest province of
[01:43] Pretoria I call it Joe hi Oh what
[01:46] you can't just come over here and annex
[01:47] my pool oh yeah
[01:49] well according to paragraph seven
[01:51] sentence three word eight of the Geneva
[01:53] Convention the so tough luck Swanson so
[01:59] as you can see patria has invaded US
[02:02] soil what are our options well a
[02:04] military strike against such a small
[02:06] nation could cause an international
[02:07] backlash true but this kind of behavior
[02:09] can't be tolerated
[02:10] agreed I suggest we start with political
[02:13] sanctions very good gentlemen
[02:15] [Music]
[02:19] well I guess the world to show me a
[02:21] little more respect now dad I tried to
[02:23] go to school but this guy won't let me
[02:26] oh yeah him in what army
[02:28] the US Army how did you cut army
[02:36] the scene outside the u.s. petorian
[02:39] border as the Sun rises on day one of
[02:41] Operation Desert clam good morning I'm
[02:44] Diane Simmons we now go to Tom Tucker
[02:46] live at the site of the u.s. blockade
[02:48] Tom diane i'm here at the petorian front
[02:51] where the US has cut off electricity
[02:52] water and gas to the tiny four-bedroom
[02:55] republic the situation is very tense and
[02:57] extremely dangerous and now sports over
[03:08] here honey I'm chopping carrots for a
[03:10] salad here he was this headlamp yeah
[03:14] where's the kids upstairs doing their
[03:17] homework i candlelight damn pig dog
[03:19] Americans messing with my family like
[03:21] this you know it's just it's just you
[03:25] know Peter I'm up here Oh sweetie maybe
[03:29] you should go over to Joe's and return
[03:30] his paw huh we're a real country and we
[03:33] deserve all the rights and privileges
[03:35] that everyone else gets but we have to
[03:37] think about the welfare of our children
[03:39] Stewie is that you look Lois my mind I'm
[03:43] not giving up an inch of petorian soil
[03:45] it's not a sign of weakness to
[03:47] compromise I just think you should Pete
[03:50] uh stop staring at my chest oh yeah
[03:52] sorry Lois
[03:56] and we're back with our roundtable
[03:58] discussion on the Praetorian crisis you
[04:01] were making a point John yes what the
[04:03] United States is doing to petoria right
[04:05] now is criminal
[04:06] nonsense forces the only thing a
[04:08] desperate like Peter Griffin understands
[04:13] oh it's oh it's ridiculous clearly I'm
[04:16] he's a factory worker not a despot
[04:17] you're missing the point our blockade is
[04:19] turning Pretoria into a third-world
[04:21] country okay
[04:29] can anybody tell me what the square root
[04:32] of a hypotenuse is when Chris is that
[04:34] amount no yes it is
[04:37] would you like to read it for the rest
[04:39] of the class no just read it lardo I
[04:44] think mrs. Griffin's hot go to your room
[04:48] damn you Rupert keep these little some
[04:50] insects away from me or you'll end up
[04:52] like mr. giraffe hi I'm Susan Sarandon a
[04:56] lot of you know me as Tim Robbins mother
[04:58] but I'm actually his girlfriend and this
[05:01] is Stewie
[05:03] the tooth for less than the ticket price
[05:05] of one of my movies about capital
[05:07] punishment or Neil feminism you can make
[05:10] sure that Stewie never goes hungry again
[05:12] yes I'm from the look of those sweater
[05:14] cows so can you
[05:19] good morning subjects what's for
[05:21] breakfast
[05:22] nothing you idiot we don't have any food
[05:24] Peter this has gotten way out of hand
[05:26] look at what for a toast to our own baby
[05:29] has to use newspapers for diapers no no
[05:31] this is fine
[05:32] one second I'm just about finished with
[05:34] Family Circus
[05:39] who did that Jeffy not me
[05:42] thank God I haven't seen everyone this
[05:43] miserable since that time we were
[05:45] tortured I'm sorry will you just
[05:52] whipping me in there just did I just get
[05:53] bit by a mosquito hey Lois if you happen
[05:57] to see the dungeon master can you can
[05:58] you tell me grandmother was just trying
[06:00] to work me over it's time to call this
[06:02] whole thing off nobody's on our side are
[06:05] you nuts look at all these telegrams
[06:07] nice going Libya
[06:08] you know man North Korea great job Iraq
[06:11] Iraq Lois you know what I'm gonna fight
[06:14] a few of these fellas over for a party
[06:17] [Music]
[06:20] Lois I told you we had allies hey you
[06:24] made it
[06:24] I didn't know what to bring so I made
[06:26] coleslaw it's made of people
[06:28] just kidding hey is mom out here yet
[06:30] yeah he's over there with Saddam and
[06:32] then Jerry guessed that her name was
[06:34] Mulva that show is so funny it really
[06:39] reminds me of me and my friends you know
[06:41] the way we just hang out before I kill
[06:43] them for worshipping the wrong God yeah
[06:45] and I love that Kramer guy he comes in
[06:46] the room like this you know Marco Marco
[06:53] Oh
[06:54] fish out of water yeah yeah Manuel
[07:02] Manuel do you want it can you ask him if
[07:05] he wants cheese Fidel no running around
[07:07] the pool I say I think Achmed what what
[07:11] is it thing you people do when you when
[07:13] you're about to assassinate an infidel
[07:15] ah you mean this
[07:18] [Applause]
[07:19] [Music]
[07:20] [Applause]
[07:25] what do you think you're going Amerika
[07:28] I've had enough you can keep this filthy
[07:31] mess you call a country come on kids
[07:33] this is treason
[07:35] Oh for god sake Peter make an example of
[07:37] her nothing says obey me like a bloody
[07:39] head or a fencepost
[07:40] let's go we're crossing the border
[07:42] goodbye president Griffin well Brian at
[07:45] least you're loyal enough to stay with
[07:46] me
[07:46] yeah I've stuck by you through worse I
[07:53] guess it's you and me against the world
[07:56] buddy
[07:59] as you may presently yourself fully be
[08:01] aware of my grammar sucks but more
[08:03] importantly we're about to commence
[08:05] operation bomb the crap out of your
[08:07] house the guy who thinks up the names is
[08:09] on vacation the answer your question
[08:15] something like that a guy who Ames was
[08:17] in the John there is what's coming right
[08:20] at you please a Peter it's over why
[08:22] don't you sit down with the mayor and
[08:24] negotiate some kind of treaty negotiate
[08:26] Peter Griffin doesn't know the meaning
[08:28] of a word negotiate thank you all for
[08:35] coming we invited Jesse Jackson to open
[08:37] our negotiations with a prayer
[08:40] unfortunately he couldn't make it so in
[08:43] his place we have la Toya Jackson Thanks
[08:46] um rub-a-dub-dub thanks for the grub yay
[08:50] God how very inappropriate thank you now
[08:54] mr. Griffin would you like to begin okay
[08:56] after much thought in consideration I
[08:58] have decided to make a concession at
[09:00] 2:00 very good Peter
[09:02] first I will return Joe's pool oh you
[09:04] got that right in exchange I demand
[09:07] access to it on alternate weekends
[09:08] no accept it I also demand to remain my
[09:12] own independent nation absolutely not
[09:14] well how about you just give me your pen
[09:16] you mean this cheap a little pen we have
[09:17] millions of back at the office yeah no
[09:20] oh man so after all this I end up with
[09:22] nothing
[09:23] how about this every night when you get
[09:25] home from work I'll scratch your back
[09:27] with
[09:28] for cover like you like loris
[09:31] Oh would you call me big Rudy when you
[09:33] do it now and that's the story of
[09:36] Pattaya a little nation that 200 years
[09:38] ago seceded and repatriated in less than
[09:41] a week any questions yeah I don't get it
[09:45] so like can the family understand the
[09:47] baby or or what what's the deal with
[09:49] that
[09:50] [Music]