WEBVTT

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hey Peter you can't drink that outside

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you you can end up in jail and not the

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good jail like on Cinemax the man jail

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go back and pay the bill Peter you uh

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don't want to break the law I can do

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whatever I want watch this oh now you're

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just being crazy hey that's against the

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law you're coming with me can't touch me

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tension delegates decision of the United

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Nations is hereby convened man shucks

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hey podium guy hey I got a problem here

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excuse me some of us are here to learn

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no one's talking to you Albania he's

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dead a problem back there

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you bet your funny accent there's a

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problem I'm stuck up here in the

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nosebleeds I am president of Victoria I

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want a better seat

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oh of course how could we not have

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recognized the great nation of petoria

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have a seat up front well that's more

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like it

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and hey would you also like a special

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satellite that can scratch her ass with

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a laser beam from space hey have those

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hey how you doing hey you mind if I yeah

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they don't respect you what do you mean

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listen to me I used to be the

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laughingstock around here until my

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country invaded Kuwait now I have a seat

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in the third row look the only way to

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get any respect around here is to find

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something you want and just dig it wait

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a second if everybody respects you how

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come you still eating here by yourself I

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don't shower oh that's what that is take

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what I want

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morning Peter what are you doing in my

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pool this is the newest province of

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Pretoria I call it Joe hi Oh what

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you can't just come over here and annex

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my pool oh yeah

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well according to paragraph seven

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sentence three word eight of the Geneva

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Convention the so tough luck Swanson so

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as you can see patria has invaded US

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soil what are our options well a

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military strike against such a small

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nation could cause an international

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backlash true but this kind of behavior

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can't be tolerated

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agreed I suggest we start with political

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sanctions very good gentlemen

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[Music]

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well I guess the world to show me a

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little more respect now dad I tried to

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go to school but this guy won't let me

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oh yeah him in what army

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the US Army how did you cut army

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the scene outside the u.s. petorian

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border as the Sun rises on day one of

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Operation Desert clam good morning I'm

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Diane Simmons we now go to Tom Tucker

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live at the site of the u.s. blockade

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Tom diane i'm here at the petorian front

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where the US has cut off electricity

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water and gas to the tiny four-bedroom

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republic the situation is very tense and

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extremely dangerous and now sports over

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here honey I'm chopping carrots for a

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salad here he was this headlamp yeah

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where's the kids upstairs doing their

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homework i candlelight damn pig dog

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Americans messing with my family like

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this you know it's just it's just you

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know Peter I'm up here Oh sweetie maybe

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you should go over to Joe's and return

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his paw huh we're a real country and we

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deserve all the rights and privileges

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that everyone else gets but we have to

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think about the welfare of our children

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Stewie is that you look Lois my mind I'm

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not giving up an inch of petorian soil

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it's not a sign of weakness to

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compromise I just think you should Pete

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uh stop staring at my chest oh yeah

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sorry Lois

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and we're back with our roundtable

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discussion on the Praetorian crisis you

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were making a point John yes what the

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United States is doing to petoria right

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now is criminal

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nonsense forces the only thing a

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desperate like Peter Griffin understands

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oh it's oh it's ridiculous clearly I'm

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he's a factory worker not a despot

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you're missing the point our blockade is

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turning Pretoria into a third-world

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country okay

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can anybody tell me what the square root

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of a hypotenuse is when Chris is that

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amount no yes it is

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would you like to read it for the rest

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of the class no just read it lardo I

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think mrs. Griffin's hot go to your room

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damn you Rupert keep these little some

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insects away from me or you'll end up

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like mr. giraffe hi I'm Susan Sarandon a

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lot of you know me as Tim Robbins mother

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but I'm actually his girlfriend and this

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is Stewie

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the tooth for less than the ticket price

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of one of my movies about capital

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punishment or Neil feminism you can make

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sure that Stewie never goes hungry again

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yes I'm from the look of those sweater

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cows so can you

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good morning subjects what's for

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breakfast

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nothing you idiot we don't have any food

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Peter this has gotten way out of hand

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look at what for a toast to our own baby

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has to use newspapers for diapers no no

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this is fine

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one second I'm just about finished with

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Family Circus

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who did that Jeffy not me

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thank God I haven't seen everyone this

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miserable since that time we were

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tortured I'm sorry will you just

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whipping me in there just did I just get

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bit by a mosquito hey Lois if you happen

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to see the dungeon master can you can

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you tell me grandmother was just trying

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to work me over it's time to call this

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whole thing off nobody's on our side are

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you nuts look at all these telegrams

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nice going Libya

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you know man North Korea great job Iraq

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Iraq Lois you know what I'm gonna fight

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a few of these fellas over for a party

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[Music]

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Lois I told you we had allies hey you

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made it

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I didn't know what to bring so I made

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coleslaw it's made of people

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just kidding hey is mom out here yet

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yeah he's over there with Saddam and

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then Jerry guessed that her name was

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Mulva that show is so funny it really

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reminds me of me and my friends you know

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the way we just hang out before I kill

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them for worshipping the wrong God yeah

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and I love that Kramer guy he comes in

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the room like this you know Marco Marco

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Oh

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fish out of water yeah yeah Manuel

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Manuel do you want it can you ask him if

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he wants cheese Fidel no running around

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the pool I say I think Achmed what what

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is it thing you people do when you when

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you're about to assassinate an infidel

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ah you mean this

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[Applause]

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[Music]

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[Applause]

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what do you think you're going Amerika

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I've had enough you can keep this filthy

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mess you call a country come on kids

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this is treason

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Oh for god sake Peter make an example of

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her nothing says obey me like a bloody

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head or a fencepost

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let's go we're crossing the border

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goodbye president Griffin well Brian at

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least you're loyal enough to stay with

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me

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yeah I've stuck by you through worse I

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guess it's you and me against the world

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buddy

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as you may presently yourself fully be

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aware of my grammar sucks but more

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importantly we're about to commence

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operation bomb the crap out of your

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house the guy who thinks up the names is

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on vacation the answer your question

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something like that a guy who Ames was

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in the John there is what's coming right

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at you please a Peter it's over why

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don't you sit down with the mayor and

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negotiate some kind of treaty negotiate

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Peter Griffin doesn't know the meaning

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of a word negotiate thank you all for

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coming we invited Jesse Jackson to open

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our negotiations with a prayer

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unfortunately he couldn't make it so in

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his place we have la Toya Jackson Thanks

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um rub-a-dub-dub thanks for the grub yay

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God how very inappropriate thank you now

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mr. Griffin would you like to begin okay

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after much thought in consideration I

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have decided to make a concession at

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2:00 very good Peter

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first I will return Joe's pool oh you

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got that right in exchange I demand

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access to it on alternate weekends

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no accept it I also demand to remain my

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own independent nation absolutely not

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well how about you just give me your pen

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you mean this cheap a little pen we have

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millions of back at the office yeah no

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oh man so after all this I end up with

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nothing

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how about this every night when you get

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home from work I'll scratch your back

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with

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for cover like you like loris

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Oh would you call me big Rudy when you

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do it now and that's the story of

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Pattaya a little nation that 200 years

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ago seceded and repatriated in less than

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a week any questions yeah I don't get it

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so like can the family understand the

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baby or or what what's the deal with

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that

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[Music]