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3:51
Transcript
0:02
Hey boys. You having a midnight snack?
0:05
Mhm. I'm just going to grab something
0:06
too and go back to bed alone again.
0:10
Night.
0:12
You know, Lois has gotten kind of fat
0:14
since you guys stopped having sex. Might
0:16
be time to uh, you know, have some sex.
0:20
You know, at first I didn't want to do
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0:21
it cuz of a vasectomy, but now it's just
0:23
I mean, look at her. She's got elbow
0:26
cleavage. You know that that little
0:28
wrinkle that fat people get on their
0:29
elbows that looks like a schwah. I mean,
0:31
you wouldn't have sex with her, would
0:33
you? Oh, yeah. I would. Really? Oh,
0:35
yeah. Oh, yeah. I would do everything to
0:36
her. I don't care what she looks like. I
0:38
would wreck that chick. Well, you are a
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0:40
trooper.
0:44
Sorry. Fat wife coming through. Sorry.
0:46
Sorry. Excuse me, fat wife. Oh, hold on
0:49
a sec.
0:53
All right, bring her through. Peta, stop
0:55
it. For God's sakes, you're embarrassing
0:57
me. Not as embarrassed as I was when I
0:59
got that job entertaining prison
1:00
inmates. Do it again, Griffin. Oh, come
1:03
on. I just did it like five times. Do
1:05
it. My milkshake brings all the boys to
1:08
the yard and they're like, "It's better
1:10
than yours." Damn right it's better than
1:12
yours. I can teach you, but I have to
1:15
charge. Look, honey, with all due
1:17
respect, you've gained some weight
1:19
recently. It's 5 lb at the most. It's
1:21
not a big deal. It's a slippery slope,
1:23
Lois. You start with 5 lbs and then one
1:25
day, boom, you wake up and you're on the
1:27
practice with 16 rings in your ear.
1:29
You're one to talk. Look how fat you
1:31
are. Lois, men aren't fat. Only fat
1:33
women are fat. Now, if you'll excuse me,
1:36
I have to go warn the chef that you've
1:37
arrived.
1:40
He wants fat. I'll show him fat. The
1:42
only reason I'm eating anyway is because
1:44
of him. He won't touch me.
1:48
Do you think I'm fat? Only if you think
1:50
I'm a serial killer. Nothing.
1:54
This Friday on TNT, the world premiere
1:56
of Morgan Freeman in The Narrator. Ever
1:59
since I was a little boy, people have
2:02
enjoyed the sound of my voice. And I
2:04
figured you either get busy talking or
2:07
you get busy dying. The work is really
2:10
quite easy. Why, even right now, I'm
2:12
just sitting in a chair, sipping some
2:14
tea, and reading from a script. The wall
2:17
is covered with something that resembles
2:19
egg crates, except they're soft and
2:22
spongy. Like a Twinkie. Like a Twinkie.
2:26
Oh, hey, Hogzilla. You happen to see my
2:28
hot wife Lois around? No, I haven't.
2:30
Maybe she's out looking for a man who
2:32
can satisfy her. Hey, hey, hey, hey,
2:34
hey, hey, hey, do me a favor. When you
2:36
go to sleep, aim your butt the other
2:37
way. Last night, for God's sake, you
2:39
farted. I felt like somebody was
2:40
sticking me with a cigarette lighter
2:41
from the car. You're fat. Shut up and go
2:44
to sleep. Ow! Ow! Lois, you weigh a ton.
2:48
Get off me. I'm trying. Try harder. Ow!
2:50
Peter, just stop for one second and I'll
2:58
Peter, are we having sex? Uh, let's
3:00
check. Uh, just lift up that fold right
3:02
there. Uh, yep.
3:08
Lois, last night was amazing. It was,
3:11
wasn't it? Fat sex is the hottest sex
3:13
we've ever had. There were so many
3:15
boobs. I don't know whose boobs I was
3:17
grabbing. Your boobs are my boobs. I
3:19
know. It was amazing. Much better than
3:21
that night you pretended your penis was
3:23
Danny Iello. Oh, that is so interesting.
3:27
Danny Iello, you've got the best Spike
3:29
Lee stories. What's that? You want to
3:32
meet my wife? Peta, stop it. Lois, just
3:35
say hello. You're embarrassing me in
3:37
front of Danny Iello. Now come here, my
3:40
fat concubine. Hey, I'm not even hungry.
3:43
Hey, I want you bigger. I want you
3:45
fatter. It will please me. Giggity
3:48
giggity giggity goo.
— end of transcript —
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