Hey boys. You having a midnight snack?
Mhm. I'm just going to grab something
too and go back to bed alone again.
Night.
You know, Lois has gotten kind of fat
since you guys stopped having sex. Might
be time to uh, you know, have some sex.
You know, at first I didn't want to do
it cuz of a vasectomy, but now it's just
I mean, look at her. She's got elbow
cleavage. You know that that little
wrinkle that fat people get on their
elbows that looks like a schwah. I mean,
you wouldn't have sex with her, would
you? Oh, yeah. I would. Really? Oh,
yeah. Oh, yeah. I would do everything to
her. I don't care what she looks like. I
would wreck that chick. Well, you are a
trooper.
Sorry. Fat wife coming through. Sorry.
Sorry. Excuse me, fat wife. Oh, hold on
a sec.
All right, bring her through. Peta, stop
it. For God's sakes, you're embarrassing
me. Not as embarrassed as I was when I
got that job entertaining prison
inmates. Do it again, Griffin. Oh, come
on. I just did it like five times. Do
it. My milkshake brings all the boys to
the yard and they're like, "It's better
than yours." Damn right it's better than
yours. I can teach you, but I have to
charge. Look, honey, with all due
respect, you've gained some weight
recently. It's 5 lb at the most. It's
not a big deal. It's a slippery slope,
Lois. You start with 5 lbs and then one
day, boom, you wake up and you're on the
practice with 16 rings in your ear.
You're one to talk. Look how fat you
are. Lois, men aren't fat. Only fat
women are fat. Now, if you'll excuse me,
I have to go warn the chef that you've
arrived.
He wants fat. I'll show him fat. The
only reason I'm eating anyway is because
of him. He won't touch me.
Do you think I'm fat? Only if you think
I'm a serial killer. Nothing.
This Friday on TNT, the world premiere
of Morgan Freeman in The Narrator. Ever
since I was a little boy, people have
enjoyed the sound of my voice. And I
figured you either get busy talking or
you get busy dying. The work is really
quite easy. Why, even right now, I'm
just sitting in a chair, sipping some
tea, and reading from a script. The wall
is covered with something that resembles
egg crates, except they're soft and
spongy. Like a Twinkie. Like a Twinkie.
Oh, hey, Hogzilla. You happen to see my
hot wife Lois around? No, I haven't.
Maybe she's out looking for a man who
can satisfy her. Hey, hey, hey, hey,
hey, hey, hey, do me a favor. When you
go to sleep, aim your butt the other
way. Last night, for God's sake, you
farted. I felt like somebody was
sticking me with a cigarette lighter
from the car. You're fat. Shut up and go
to sleep. Ow! Ow! Lois, you weigh a ton.
Get off me. I'm trying. Try harder. Ow!
Peter, just stop for one second and I'll
Peter, are we having sex? Uh, let's
check. Uh, just lift up that fold right
there. Uh, yep.
Lois, last night was amazing. It was,
wasn't it? Fat sex is the hottest sex
we've ever had. There were so many
boobs. I don't know whose boobs I was
grabbing. Your boobs are my boobs. I
know. It was amazing. Much better than
that night you pretended your penis was
Danny Iello. Oh, that is so interesting.
Danny Iello, you've got the best Spike
Lee stories. What's that? You want to
meet my wife? Peta, stop it. Lois, just
say hello. You're embarrassing me in
front of Danny Iello. Now come here, my
fat concubine. Hey, I'm not even hungry.
Hey, I want you bigger. I want you
fatter. It will please me. Giggity
giggity giggity goo.