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8:13
Why Don't I Vote? I'll Let George Carlin Explain It To You
John Lockwood
·
May 9, 2026
Open on YouTube
Transcript
0:00
now there's one thing you might have
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noticed I don't complain
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about
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politicians everybody complains about
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politicians everybody says they suck
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yeah well where do people think these
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politicians come from they don't fall
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out of the sky they don't pass through a
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membrane from another reality they come
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from American parents and American
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families American Homes American schools
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American churches American businesses
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and American universities and they're
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elected by American citizens this is the
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best we can do folks this is what we
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have to offer it's what our system
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produces garbage in garbage out if you
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have selfish ignorant citizens if you
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have selfish ignorant citizens you're
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going to get selfish ignorant leaders
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and term limits ain't going to do you
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any good you're just going to wind up
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with a brand new bunch of selfish
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ignorant Americans so maybe maybe maybe
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it's not the politicians who suck maybe
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something else sucks around here like
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the public
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yeah the public sucks there's a nice
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campaign slogan for somebody the public
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sucks [ __ ] hope [ __ ]
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hope because if it's really just the
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fault of these politicians then where
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are all the other bright people of
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conscience where are all the bright
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honest intelligent Americans ready to
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step in and save the nation and lead the
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way we don't have people like that in
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this country everybody's at the mall
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scratching his ass picking his nose
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taking his credit card out of his fanny
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pack and buying a pair of sneakers with
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lights in
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them so I have solve this little
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political dilemma for myself in a very
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simple way on Election Day I stay home I
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don't vote [ __ ] them [ __ ] them I don't
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vote two reasons two reasons I don't
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vote first of all it's meaningless this
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country was bought and sold and paid for
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a long time ago the [ __ ] they Shuffle
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around every four years
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doesn't mean a [ __ ]
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thing and secondly I don't vote cuz I
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believe if you vote you have no right to
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complain people like to twist that
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around I know they say they say well if
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you don't vote you have no right to
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complain but where's the logic in that
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if you vote and you elect dishonest
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incompetent people and they get into
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office and screw everything up well you
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are responsible for what they have done
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you caused the problem you voted them in
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you have no right to complain I on the
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other
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hand who did not vote who did not vote
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who in fact did not even leave the house
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on Election
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Day am in no way responsible for what
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these people have done and have every
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right to complain as loud as I want
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about the mess you created that I had
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nothing to do with so I know that a
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little later on this year you're going
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to have another one of those really
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swell presidential elections that you
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like so much you'll enjoy yourselves
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it'll be a lot of fun I'm sure as soon
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as the election is over your country
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will improve move immediately as for me
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I'll be home on that day doing
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essentially the same thing as you the
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only difference is when I get finished
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masturbating I'm going to have a little
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something to show for it folks thank you
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very much but if you talk to one of them
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about this if you isolate one of them
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you sit them down rationally you talk to
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them about the low IQs and the dumb
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Behavior and the bad decisions right
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away they start talking about education
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that's the big answer to everything
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education they said we need more money
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for Education we need more more books
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more teachers more classrooms more
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schools we need more testing for the
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kids you say to them well you know we've
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tried all of that and the kids still
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can't pass the test ah don't you worry
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about that we're going to lower the
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passing grades and that's what they do
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in a lot of these schools now they lower
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the passing grades so more kids can pass
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more kids pass the school looks good
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everybody's happy the IQ of the country
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slips another two or three points and
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pretty soon all you'll need to get into
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college is a [ __ ]
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pencil got a pencil get the [ __ ] in
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there it's
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physics then everyone wonders why 17
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other countries graduate more scientists
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than we do education politicians know
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that word they use it on you politicians
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have traditionally hidden behind three
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things the flag the Bible and children
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No Child Left Behind No Child Left
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Behind oh really well it wasn't long ago
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you were talking about giving kids a
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Head Start Head Start left behind
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someone's losing [ __ ] ground
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here but there's a reason there's a
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reason there's a reason for this is a
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reason education sucks and it's the same
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reason that it will never ever ever be
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fixed it's never going to get any better
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don't look for it be happy with what you
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got because the owners of this country
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don't want that I'm talking about the
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real owners now the real owners the big
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wealthy business interest that control
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things and make all the important
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decisions forget the politicians the
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politicians are put there to give you
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the idea that you have freedom of choice
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you don't you have no choice you have
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owners they own you they own everything
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they own all the important land they own
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and control the corporations they've
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long since bought and paid for the
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Senate the Congress the state houses the
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City Halls they got the judges in their
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back pockets and they own all the big
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media companies so they control just
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about all of the news and information
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you get to hear they got you by the
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balls they they spend billions of
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dollars every year lobbying lobbying to
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get what they want well we know what
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they want they want more for themselves
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and less for everybody else but I'll
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tell you what they don't want they don't
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want a popular ation of citizens capable
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of critical thinking they don't want
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well-informed well educated people
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capable of critical thinking they're not
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interested in that that doesn't help
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them that's against their interest
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that's right they don't want people who
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are smart enough to sit around the
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kitchen table and figure out how badly
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they're getting [ __ ] by a system that
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threw them overboard 30 [ __ ] years
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ago they don't want that you know what
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they want they want obedient workers
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obedient workers people who are just
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smart enough to run the machines and do
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the paperwork and just dumb enough to to
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passively accept all these increasingly
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shittier jobs with the lower pay the
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longer hours the reduced benefits the
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end of overtime and the vanishing
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pension that disappears the minute you
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go to collect it and now they're coming
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for your Social Security money they want
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your [ __ ] retirement money they want
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it back so they can give it to their
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criminal friends on Wall Street and you
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know something they'll get it they'll
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get it all from you sooner or later cuz
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they own this [ __ ] place it's a big
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club and you ain't in
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it you and I are not in the big club by
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the way it's the same big Club they used
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to beat you over the head with all day
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long when they tell you what to believe
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all day long beating you over the head
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in their media telling you what to
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believe what to think and what to buy
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the table is tilted folks the game is
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rigged and nobody seems to notice nobody
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seems to care good honest hardworking
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people white collar Blue Collar doesn't
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matter what color shirt you have on good
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honest hardworking people continue these
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are people of modest means continue to
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elect these rich suckers who don't give
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a [ __ ] about them they don't give a [ __ ]
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about you they don't give a [ __ ] about
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you they don't care about you at all at
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all at
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all man you
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know and nobody seems to notice nobody
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seems to care that's what the owners
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count on the fact that Americans will
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probably remain willfully ignorant of
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the big red white and blue dick that's
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being jammed up their [ __ ] every day
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because the owners of this country know
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the truth it's called called The
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American Dream cuz you have to be asleep
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to believe it
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[Music]
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[Applause]
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a
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[Music]
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[Applause]
— end of transcript —
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