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now there's one thing you might have

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noticed I don't complain

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about

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politicians everybody complains about

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politicians everybody says they suck

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yeah well where do people think these

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politicians come from they don't fall

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out of the sky they don't pass through a

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membrane from another reality they come

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from American parents and American

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families American Homes American schools

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American churches American businesses

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and American universities and they're

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elected by American citizens this is the

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best we can do folks this is what we

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have to offer it's what our system

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produces garbage in garbage out if you

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have selfish ignorant citizens if you

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have selfish ignorant citizens you're

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going to get selfish ignorant leaders

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and term limits ain't going to do you

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any good you're just going to wind up

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with a brand new bunch of selfish

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ignorant Americans so maybe maybe maybe

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it's not the politicians who suck maybe

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something else sucks around here like

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the public

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yeah the public sucks there's a nice

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campaign slogan for somebody the public

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sucks [ __ ] hope [ __ ]

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hope because if it's really just the

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fault of these politicians then where

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are all the other bright people of

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conscience where are all the bright

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honest intelligent Americans ready to

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step in and save the nation and lead the

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way we don't have people like that in

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this country everybody's at the mall

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scratching his ass picking his nose

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taking his credit card out of his fanny

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pack and buying a pair of sneakers with

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lights in

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them so I have solve this little

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political dilemma for myself in a very

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simple way on Election Day I stay home I

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don't vote [ __ ] them [ __ ] them I don't

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vote two reasons two reasons I don't

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vote first of all it's meaningless this

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country was bought and sold and paid for

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a long time ago the [ __ ] they Shuffle

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around every four years

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doesn't mean a [ __ ]

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thing and secondly I don't vote cuz I

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believe if you vote you have no right to

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complain people like to twist that

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around I know they say they say well if

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you don't vote you have no right to

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complain but where's the logic in that

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if you vote and you elect dishonest

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incompetent people and they get into

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office and screw everything up well you

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are responsible for what they have done

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you caused the problem you voted them in

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you have no right to complain I on the

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other

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hand who did not vote who did not vote

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who in fact did not even leave the house

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on Election

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Day am in no way responsible for what

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these people have done and have every

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right to complain as loud as I want

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about the mess you created that I had

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nothing to do with so I know that a

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little later on this year you're going

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to have another one of those really

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swell presidential elections that you

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like so much you'll enjoy yourselves

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it'll be a lot of fun I'm sure as soon

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as the election is over your country

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will improve move immediately as for me

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I'll be home on that day doing

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essentially the same thing as you the

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only difference is when I get finished

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masturbating I'm going to have a little

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something to show for it folks thank you

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very much but if you talk to one of them

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about this if you isolate one of them

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you sit them down rationally you talk to

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them about the low IQs and the dumb

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Behavior and the bad decisions right

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away they start talking about education

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that's the big answer to everything

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education they said we need more money

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for Education we need more more books

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more teachers more classrooms more

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schools we need more testing for the

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kids you say to them well you know we've

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tried all of that and the kids still

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can't pass the test ah don't you worry

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about that we're going to lower the

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passing grades and that's what they do

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in a lot of these schools now they lower

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the passing grades so more kids can pass

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more kids pass the school looks good

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everybody's happy the IQ of the country

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slips another two or three points and

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pretty soon all you'll need to get into

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college is a [ __ ]

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pencil got a pencil get the [ __ ] in

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there it's

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physics then everyone wonders why 17

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other countries graduate more scientists

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than we do education politicians know

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that word they use it on you politicians

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have traditionally hidden behind three

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things the flag the Bible and children

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No Child Left Behind No Child Left

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Behind oh really well it wasn't long ago

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you were talking about giving kids a

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Head Start Head Start left behind

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someone's losing [ __ ] ground

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here but there's a reason there's a

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reason there's a reason for this is a

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reason education sucks and it's the same

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reason that it will never ever ever be

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fixed it's never going to get any better

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don't look for it be happy with what you

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got because the owners of this country

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don't want that I'm talking about the

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real owners now the real owners the big

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wealthy business interest that control

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things and make all the important

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decisions forget the politicians the

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politicians are put there to give you

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the idea that you have freedom of choice

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you don't you have no choice you have

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owners they own you they own everything

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they own all the important land they own

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and control the corporations they've

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long since bought and paid for the

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Senate the Congress the state houses the

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City Halls they got the judges in their

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back pockets and they own all the big

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media companies so they control just

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about all of the news and information

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you get to hear they got you by the

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balls they they spend billions of

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dollars every year lobbying lobbying to

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get what they want well we know what

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they want they want more for themselves

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and less for everybody else but I'll

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tell you what they don't want they don't

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want a popular ation of citizens capable

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of critical thinking they don't want

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well-informed well educated people

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capable of critical thinking they're not

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interested in that that doesn't help

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them that's against their interest

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that's right they don't want people who

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are smart enough to sit around the

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kitchen table and figure out how badly

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they're getting [ __ ] by a system that

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threw them overboard 30 [ __ ] years

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ago they don't want that you know what

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they want they want obedient workers

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obedient workers people who are just

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smart enough to run the machines and do

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the paperwork and just dumb enough to to

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passively accept all these increasingly

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shittier jobs with the lower pay the

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longer hours the reduced benefits the

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end of overtime and the vanishing

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pension that disappears the minute you

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go to collect it and now they're coming

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for your Social Security money they want

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your [ __ ] retirement money they want

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it back so they can give it to their

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criminal friends on Wall Street and you

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know something they'll get it they'll

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get it all from you sooner or later cuz

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they own this [ __ ] place it's a big

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club and you ain't in

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it you and I are not in the big club by

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the way it's the same big Club they used

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to beat you over the head with all day

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long when they tell you what to believe

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all day long beating you over the head

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in their media telling you what to

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believe what to think and what to buy

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the table is tilted folks the game is

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rigged and nobody seems to notice nobody

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seems to care good honest hardworking

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people white collar Blue Collar doesn't

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matter what color shirt you have on good

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honest hardworking people continue these

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are people of modest means continue to

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elect these rich suckers who don't give

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a [ __ ] about them they don't give a [ __ ]

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about you they don't give a [ __ ] about

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you they don't care about you at all at

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all at

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all man you

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know and nobody seems to notice nobody

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seems to care that's what the owners

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count on the fact that Americans will

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probably remain willfully ignorant of

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the big red white and blue dick that's

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being jammed up their [ __ ] every day

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because the owners of this country know

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the truth it's called called The

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American Dream cuz you have to be asleep

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to believe it

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[Music]

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[Applause]

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a

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[Music]

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[Applause]