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4:15
Transcript
0:00
[Music]
0:06
dog driving a
0:09
car a damn
0:13
it morning Brian I'm afraid you ran a
0:16
red light your license please I swear
0:19
Joe the light was still gray when I went
0:20
through it mhm are you aware this is
0:23
expired what Brian step out of the
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0:25
vehicle why why what what's going on
0:27
well the law is clear I have to
0:29
confiscate your license and you're going
0:30
to have to walk home can't you at least
0:32
give me a ride no can do Amigo all right
0:35
I guess I'll just call an
0:41
Uber are you
0:44
[Music]
0:47
Brian all right class let's get started
0:49
Stewie what are you doing and why you
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0:51
dress like that because I'm your
0:52
driver's headed instructor Brian your
0:54
what that's right I heard you lost your
0:56
license and I'm going to help you get it
0:58
back um okay
1:00
now we've got a lot to cover but first
1:02
let's watch a safety video designed to
1:04
terrorize you into being a responsible
1:08
[Applause]
1:11
motorist come on kid with a bright
1:14
future I'll give you a no seat belt car
1:17
ride after this teen keger party I don't
1:20
know I'm going to Harvard Yale tomorrow
1:22
I'd hate to lose it all because of
1:24
making poor choices a come on man I just
1:26
had a couple of alcohol beers and I'm
1:29
his girlfriend friend cuz he has great
1:31
genitals and I'm impressed with Reckless
1:33
Behavior so I'm going to reward him with
1:35
my mouth while he's driving now let's
1:37
smoke a marijuana cigarette while I'm
1:40
speeding because of a dare hey careful
1:43
I'd hate for you to be unresponsive to
1:45
my pleasuring while you're driving
1:46
because of intoxication Stewie is this
1:48
about anything but oral stuff while
1:50
you're driving it's about all facets of
1:52
driving safety yes I'm going to fast
1:58
forward l no waste I'm a grizzled seenit
2:02
all veteran cop and I'm shaking my head
2:04
at the senseless waste sir we've done
2:06
our police tests the driver was being
2:08
mouth pleased at the moment of
2:13
impact all right Brian let's begin great
2:16
let's do it whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa
2:18
stop de Merit what the hell where are
2:21
your hands Brian uh on the steering
2:23
wheel 10 and
2:26
two all right commence
2:31
ipd Brian ipd what ipd identify predict
2:35
decide execute you've got to constantly
2:37
be iping everything in your target Zone
2:40
I I I don't I don't know what you're
2:41
saying ipy identify predict yeah you
2:44
said that but it doesn't mean anything I
2:45
that uh it's a child with a ball very
2:48
good identify now predict predict what I
2:52
yeah you keep saying that like it's a
2:53
word those four letters don't make a
2:55
word it it's not helping me remember
2:57
anything oh now you've got an oncoming
2:58
vehicle pay attention to your 4 to 6
3:00
second Zone what what is that 4 to 6
3:02
second empty the car Brian empty the car
3:04
what does that mean now check your
3:06
gauges with one eye while keeping your
3:08
other eye on the road my eyes go in the
3:09
same direction what's your tire pressure
3:11
I I can't I don't I'm in the car stop
3:14
demerit Stewie I know how to drive I've
3:16
been driving for
3:18
years ever hear of ipy
3:22
[Music]
3:27
Jackass so how'd we do did you pass your
3:30
driver's test uh yeah yeah I think so
3:32
you brought up IP as a matter of fact I
3:34
did he was impressed no he had no idea
3:37
what I was talking about he tried to
3:38
Google it on his phone and ended up
3:39
spilling hot coffee on his balls I took
3:41
him to the ER and he said he'd pass me
3:43
if I picked him up in an hour so it did
3:45
work well congratulations you're getting
3:48
your license back I know it's great now
3:50
I'll be able to go to those dog parties
3:52
again
3:53
[Music]
4:11
giggity giggity giggy goo stick around
— end of transcript —
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