WEBVTT

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[Music]

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dog driving a

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car a damn

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it morning Brian I'm afraid you ran a

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red light your license please I swear

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Joe the light was still gray when I went

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through it mhm are you aware this is

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expired what Brian step out of the

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vehicle why why what what's going on

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well the law is clear I have to

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confiscate your license and you're going

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to have to walk home can't you at least

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give me a ride no can do Amigo all right

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I guess I'll just call an

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Uber are you

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[Music]

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Brian all right class let's get started

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Stewie what are you doing and why you

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dress like that because I'm your

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driver's headed instructor Brian your

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what that's right I heard you lost your

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license and I'm going to help you get it

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back um okay

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now we've got a lot to cover but first

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let's watch a safety video designed to

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terrorize you into being a responsible

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[Applause]

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motorist come on kid with a bright

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future I'll give you a no seat belt car

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ride after this teen keger party I don't

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know I'm going to Harvard Yale tomorrow

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I'd hate to lose it all because of

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making poor choices a come on man I just

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had a couple of alcohol beers and I'm

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his girlfriend friend cuz he has great

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genitals and I'm impressed with Reckless

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Behavior so I'm going to reward him with

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my mouth while he's driving now let's

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smoke a marijuana cigarette while I'm

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speeding because of a dare hey careful

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I'd hate for you to be unresponsive to

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my pleasuring while you're driving

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because of intoxication Stewie is this

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about anything but oral stuff while

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you're driving it's about all facets of

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driving safety yes I'm going to fast

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forward l no waste I'm a grizzled seenit

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all veteran cop and I'm shaking my head

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at the senseless waste sir we've done

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our police tests the driver was being

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mouth pleased at the moment of

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impact all right Brian let's begin great

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let's do it whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa

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stop de Merit what the hell where are

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your hands Brian uh on the steering

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wheel 10 and

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two all right commence

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ipd Brian ipd what ipd identify predict

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decide execute you've got to constantly

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be iping everything in your target Zone

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I I I don't I don't know what you're

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saying ipy identify predict yeah you

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said that but it doesn't mean anything I

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that uh it's a child with a ball very

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good identify now predict predict what I

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yeah you keep saying that like it's a

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word those four letters don't make a

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word it it's not helping me remember

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anything oh now you've got an oncoming

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vehicle pay attention to your 4 to 6

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second Zone what what is that 4 to 6

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second empty the car Brian empty the car

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what does that mean now check your

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gauges with one eye while keeping your

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other eye on the road my eyes go in the

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same direction what's your tire pressure

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I I can't I don't I'm in the car stop

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demerit Stewie I know how to drive I've

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been driving for

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years ever hear of ipy

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[Music]

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Jackass so how'd we do did you pass your

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driver's test uh yeah yeah I think so

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you brought up IP as a matter of fact I

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did he was impressed no he had no idea

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what I was talking about he tried to

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Google it on his phone and ended up

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spilling hot coffee on his balls I took

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him to the ER and he said he'd pass me

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if I picked him up in an hour so it did

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work well congratulations you're getting

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your license back I know it's great now

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I'll be able to go to those dog parties

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again

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[Music]

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giggity giggity giggy goo stick around