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9:58
How to Speak So That People Want to Listen | Julian Treasure | TED
TED
·
May 10, 2026
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Transcript
0:13
The human voice:
0:16
It's the instrument we all play.
0:18
It's the most powerful sound
in the world, probably.
0:21
It's the only one that can start a war
or say "I love you."
0:23
And yet many people have the experience
0:25
that when they speak, people
don't listen to them.
0:28
And why is that?
0:29
How can we speak powerfully
to make change in the world?
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0:33
What I'd like to suggest,
0:34
there are a number of habits
that we need to move away from.
0:37
I've assembled for your pleasure here
seven deadly sins of speaking.
0:41
I'm not pretending
this is an exhaustive list,
0:43
but these seven, I think, are pretty large
habits that we can all fall into.
0:49
First, gossip.
0:51
Speaking ill of somebody
who's not present.
0:54
Not a nice habit,
and we know perfectly well
0:56
the person gossiping, five minutes later,
will be gossiping about us.
1:01
Second, judging.
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1:03
We know people who are like this
in conversation,
1:05
and it's very hard to listen to somebody
1:07
if you know that you're being judged
and found wanting at the same time.
1:12
Third, negativity.
1:14
You can fall into this.
1:15
My mother, in the last years of her life,
became very negative,
1:18
and it's hard to listen.
1:20
I remember one day, I said to her,
"It's October 1 today,"
1:22
and she said, "I know, isn't it dreadful?"
1:25
(Laughter)
1:27
It's hard to listen
when somebody's that negative.
1:29
(Laughter)
1:30
And another form
of negativity, complaining.
1:33
Well, this is the national art of the U.K.
1:37
It's our national sport.
1:38
We complain about the weather, sport,
about politics, about everything,
1:42
but actually, complaining is viral misery.
1:44
It's not spreading sunshine
and lightness in the world.
1:48
Excuses.
1:50
We've all met this guy.
1:51
Maybe we've all been this guy.
1:52
Some people have a blamethrower.
1:55
They just pass it on to everybody else
1:57
and don't take responsibility
for their actions,
2:00
and again, hard to listen
to somebody who is being like that.
2:02
Penultimate, the sixth of the seven,
2:04
embroidery, exaggeration.
2:08
It demeans our language,
actually, sometimes.
2:10
For example, if I see something
that really is awesome,
2:13
what do I call it?
2:15
(Laughter)
2:17
And then, of course,
this exaggeration becomes lying,
2:21
and we don't want to listen
to people we know are lying to us.
2:24
And finally, dogmatism.
2:27
The confusion of facts with opinions.
2:31
When those two things get conflated,
2:33
you're listening into the wind.
2:34
You know, somebody is bombarding you
with their opinions as if they were true.
2:38
It's difficult to listen to that.
2:40
So here they are, seven deadly
sins of speaking.
2:43
These are things I think we need to avoid.
2:46
But is there a positive
way to think about this?
2:48
Yes, there is.
2:50
I'd like to suggest that there are four
really powerful cornerstones, foundations,
2:55
that we can stand on if we want our speech
2:58
to be powerful and to make
change in the world.
3:02
Fortunately, these things spell a word.
3:04
The word is "hail," and it has
a great definition as well.
3:07
I'm not talking about the stuff
that falls from the sky
3:10
and hits you on the head.
3:11
I'm talking about this definition,
3:13
to greet or acclaim enthusiastically,
3:15
which is how I think
our words will be received
3:17
if we stand on these four things.
3:18
So what do they stand for?
3:20
See if you can guess.
3:22
The H, honesty, of course,
3:25
being true in what you say,
being straight and clear.
3:28
The A is authenticity,
just being yourself.
3:32
A friend of mine described it as
standing in your own truth,
3:35
which I think is a lovely way to put it.
3:37
The I is integrity, being your word,
3:40
actually doing what you say,
3:41
and being somebody people can trust.
3:44
And the L is love.
3:47
I don't mean romantic love,
3:49
but I do mean wishing people
well, for two reasons.
3:52
First of all, I think absolute honesty
may not be what we want.
3:56
I mean, my goodness,
you look ugly this morning.
3:58
Perhaps that's not necessary.
4:02
Tempered with love, of course,
honesty is a great thing.
4:05
But also, if you're really
wishing somebody well,
4:08
it's very hard to judge
them at the same time.
4:11
I'm not even sure you can do
those two things simultaneously.
4:15
So hail.
4:16
Also, now that's what you say,
4:18
and it's like the old song,
it is what you say,
4:20
it's also the way that you say it.
4:22
You have an amazing toolbox.
4:24
This instrument is incredible,
4:26
and yet this is a toolbox
that very few people have ever opened.
4:29
I'd like to have a little rummage
in there with you now
4:32
and just pull a few tools out
4:33
that you might like to take
away and play with,
4:36
which will increase
the power of your speaking.
4:38
Register, for example.
4:39
Now, falsetto register may not
be very useful most of the time,
4:44
but there's a register in between.
4:46
I'm not going to get very
technical about this
4:48
for any of you who are voice coaches.
4:50
You can locate your voice, however.
4:51
So if I talk up here in my nose,
you can hear the difference.
4:54
If I go down here in my throat,
4:56
which is where most of us
speak from most of the time.
4:58
But if you want weight,
5:00
you need to go down here to the chest.
5:03
You hear the difference?
5:04
We vote for politicians
with lower voices, it's true,
5:08
because we associate depth with power
5:11
and with authority.
5:14
That's register.
5:16
Then we have timbre.
5:17
It's the way your voice feels.
5:19
Again, the research shows
5:20
that we prefer voices
which are rich, smooth, warm,
5:24
like hot chocolate.
5:26
Well if that's not you,
that's not the end of the world,
5:29
because you can train.
5:31
Go and get a voice coach.
5:32
And there are amazing things you can do
5:34
with breathing, with posture,
and with exercises
5:36
to improve the timbre of your voice.
5:39
Then prosody. I love prosody.
5:41
This is the sing-song, the meta-language
5:43
that we use in order to impart meaning.
5:45
It's root one for meaning in conversation.
5:48
People who speak all on one note
are really quite hard to listen to
5:52
if they don't have any prosody at all.
5:54
That's where the word
"monotonic" comes from,
5:57
or monotonous, monotone.
6:00
Also, we have repetitive
prosody now coming in,
6:03
where every sentence ends
as if it were a question
6:06
when it's actually not
a question, it's a statement?
6:08
(Laughter)
6:11
And if you repeat that one,
6:12
it's actually restricting your ability
to communicate through prosody,
6:16
which I think is a shame,
6:17
so let's try and break that habit.
6:21
Pace.
6:22
I can get very excited by saying
something really quickly,
6:25
or I can slow right down to emphasize,
6:28
and at the end of that, of course,
is our old friend silence.
6:34
There's nothing wrong with a bit
of silence in a talk, is there?
6:38
We don't have to fill it with ums and ahs.
6:41
It can be very powerful.
6:43
Of course, pitch often
goes along with pace
6:46
to indicate arousal, but you
can do it just with pitch.
6:48
Where did you leave my keys?
6:50
(Higher pitch) Where did you
leave my keys?
6:52
So, slightly different meaning
in those two deliveries.
6:56
And finally, volume.
6:58
(Loud) I can get really excited
by using volume.
7:01
Sorry about that, if I startled anybody.
7:03
Or, I can have you really pay attention
by getting very quiet.
7:08
Some people broadcast the whole time.
7:10
Try not to do that.
7:11
That's called sodcasting,
7:13
(Laughter)
7:15
Imposing your sound on people around you
carelessly and inconsiderately.
7:20
Not nice.
7:21
Of course, where this all comes
into play most of all
7:23
is when you've got something
really important to do.
7:26
It might be standing on a stage like this
and giving a talk to people.
7:29
It might be proposing marriage,
7:31
asking for a raise, a wedding speech.
7:34
Whatever it is, if it's really important,
7:36
you owe it to yourself
to look at this toolbox
7:40
and the engine that it's going to work on,
7:42
and no engine works well
without being warmed up.
7:45
Warm up your voice.
7:47
Actually, let me show you how to do that.
7:49
Would you all like to stand
up for a moment?
7:52
I'm going to show you
7:53
the six vocal warm-up exercises
that I do before every talk I ever do.
7:58
Any time you're going to talk
to anybody important, do these.
8:01
First, arms up, deep breath in,
8:04
and sigh out, ahhhhh, like that.
8:07
One more time.
8:09
Ahhhh, very good.
8:12
Now we're going to warm up our lips,
8:14
and we're going to go Ba, Ba, Ba, Ba,
8:16
Ba, Ba, Ba, Ba. Very good.
8:19
And now, brrrrrrrrrr,
8:22
just like when you were a kid.
8:24
Brrrr. Now your lips
should be coming alive.
8:26
We're going to do the tongue next
8:28
with exaggerated la, la, la,
la, la, la, la, la, la.
8:32
Beautiful. You're getting
really good at this.
8:35
And then, roll an R. Rrrrrrr.
8:37
That's like champagne for the tongue.
8:40
Finally, and if I can only do one,
8:42
the pros call this the siren.
8:44
It's really good. It starts
with "we" and goes to "aw."
8:46
The "we" is high, the "aw" is low.
8:48
So you go, weeeaawww, weeeaawww.
8:54
Fantastic. Give yourselves
a round of applause.
8:56
Take a seat, thank you.
8:58
(Applause)
8:59
Next time you speak, do those in advance.
9:02
Now let me just put this
in context to close.
9:04
This is a serious point here.
9:07
This is where we are now, right?
9:09
We speak not very well
9:10
to people who simply aren't listening
9:12
in an environment that's all
about noise and bad acoustics.
9:15
I have talked about that on this stage
in different phases.
9:18
What would the world be like
9:20
if we were speaking powerfully
9:22
to people who were listening consciously
9:24
in environments which were
actually fit for purpose?
9:27
Or to make that a bit larger,
9:30
what would the world be like
9:31
if we were creating sound consciously
9:34
and consuming sound consciously
9:36
and designing all our environments
9:38
consciously for sound?
9:39
That would be a world
that does sound beautiful,
9:42
and one where understanding
would be the norm,
9:46
and that is an idea worth spreading.
9:49
Thank you.
9:50
(Applause)
— end of transcript —
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