- This video was made possible by NordVPN.
Stay safe online by clicking the link below
and get a huge discount off a two year plan
with a risk-free 30 day money back guarantee.
Also, why not grab yourself a character pin
of the little corporal himself before they sell out
and big shout out to the patrons head
on over to learn about benefits such as discord access
and maybe even a little behind the scenes content.
Okay, Mrs. Bonaparte, this is it,
one last push and we're done.
Congratulations! It's a general.
Oh, and here comes the rest of the army now.
Did you just say the rest of the army?
(fanfare music)
History is full of great conquerors
many with very impressive origin stories.
For example, Alexander The Great was the son of a king.
Julius Caesar came from an aristocratic family
that descended from a goddess.
Great conquerors don't usually come
from relatively insignificant families living
on impoverished islands, but as it just so happens
that is where our story begins.
In the early 18th century,
The Island of Corsica was a part
of the Republic of Genoa until one day Corsica said, Hey
we're declaring independence and it's probably
not worth your time to try and stop us.
So Genoa said, you're right, it isn't worth our time.
Hey France, you want to buy this island?
And France said, sure thing.
And thus Corsica became France just in time
for Napoleon to be born French.
Many Corsicans didn't appreciate their new conquers however.
And from an early age, Napoleon developed some fairly
anti French sentiments.
Napoleon's dad, however,
quickly embraced his new French overlords
which created some tension between dad and son.
Ooh. Look at me. I'm dad.
I wear powdered wigs and silver buckled shoes.
And I'm a trader to the Corsican people.
Go to your room Napoleon.
No, you go to your room, dad.
Okay.
On the other hand, Napoleon adored his mother
who was definitely the disciplinarian of the family.
And even though she would punish Napoleon severely,
he kind of respected that.
But Napoleon's parents wanted the best for their family.
And since they were a very minor nobility
they were able to have Napoleon sent
off to the shining lights
and rat-infested sewage puddles of the big city.
Napoleon went to military school in France.
Okay. Napoleon, why don't you introduce yourself
to your new classmates?
Well, I'm Napoleon, and I hate all of you.
Your farts smell like cheese.
You can't pronounce the letter R.
All you do is go on strike.
And you call eggs "oeufs" like a bunch of
big dumb idiot dingleberries.
Okay, thanks Napoleon.
I hope you like being bullied.
And bullied he was.
They picked on him for his Corsican accent,
his family's lack of wealth,
and it probably didn't help that he also had a bit of a chip
on his shoulder, but he could hold his own.
And on an average day, might be found dishing
out ratatouille sandwiches for breakfast.
He spent much of his time alone, and he loved reading
about the great conquerors of history.
He learned about Julius Caesar, and he wondered
if one day he too might have a pizza franchise named
after him,
(funky music)
He excelled at math and geography,
and when he graduated at the age of 16,
he was made second Lieutenant in an artillery regiment.
Now, Second Lieutenant might sound pretty sweet to a
screw up like you, but Napoleon had a little something
called ambition, stonks of it.
And he wasn't content being just some junior officer.
He wanted to rise the ranks.
Unfortunately for him, that would be a little difficult.
Well, Napoleon I've reviewed your application,
it's clear you're very skilled
and would be a perfect fit for the promotion.
And Simeon,
you're just about the biggest idiot I've ever seen.
Your test results suggest you have the mental aptitude
of a senile earthworm.
And in the part of the form where you list your experience,
you seem to have drawn a picture of a gerbil
giving birth to a shoe,
but your dad is the Marquis de la Foofayette,
so, you get the job.
(Simeon screams)
French society was just too closed off.
Positions were handed out based on nobility, not talent.
And the young Napoleon probably felt stuck.
Wouldn't it be nice if, say, a revolution came along,
and changed all of that?
Well, what are the chances?
The French revolution is here.
Bastille toppling, head chopping, king popping,
the revolution promised to do away
with the old social hierarchy
and make everyone a little more equal.
Napoleon may not have cared much for the violent mobs,
but if it meant he could rise the ranks, he was in.
He began fighting to defend the revolution.
He put down a British sponsored counter-revolution
into Toulon and got promoted.
He put down a royalist uprising in Paris and got promoted.
And as his military prowess became more recognized
he was even given his very own army.
It was astonishing progress
for such a young man of humble origins
and Napoleon's wildest dreams were coming true.
But Napoleon also believed he could increase
his social status if he married an older rich lady.
And so around this time, Napoleon went on the prowl.
However, if some sources are to be believed,
he was a verified creep.
He reportedly had terrible luck with woman
and most wanted nothing to do with him.
Fortunately, he eventually met Josephine
an aging single mother who was deeply in debt,
and needed stability.
So she agreed to marry him,
despite finding him intensely disgusting.
Napoleon you dirty dog, you've done it.
Unbeknownst to Napoleon however,
Josephine had a bit of a promiscuous reputation.
Hey Napoleon, I hear you're marrying Josephine.
Boy, she sure is a great kisser.
That's right.
Hey, wait, what do you mean she's a great kisser?
Hey Hugo! You hear Napoleon's marrying Josephine?
Wow. She sure is a great kisser.
Now hang on just a minute.
Hey everyone! Napoleon's marrying Josephine!
(crowd talks over each other)
Oh for goodness sake,
is there anyone here who hasn't kissed my wife?
Yeah, you.
(crowd laughs)
As Napoleon fell madly in love with his new wife.
She fell madly in love with a man named Hippolyte.
It wouldn't be long however,
before Napoleon would leave home and go to war
because while France was having its revolution,
tensions in Europe were rising.
Hey Austria, you'll never guess what we just did.
What's that France?
I got two words for you, Revo, Lution.
We totally just socked it to our monarchy!
What, dude, the rest of us are monarchies.
You've just totally threatened the balance
of power in Europe.
Now we have to worry about our stinky peasants
rising up against us.
I mean, holy hell your Queen is
Okay, France. This is pretty awkward.
And the rest of Europe is probably itching to
give you a wedgie, but you're not ready for a war yet.
So you gotta be cool man.
It's absolutely crucial that you
say something to diffuse the situation, right now.
Preposterous!
I declare war.
Sacrébleu!
So France ended up at war with basically the rest of Europe,
and the war of the first coalition began.
At first France struggled,
but then they started to do surprisingly well.
And in many conquered territories
they began to establish sister republics,
exporting their revolutionary ideas across Europe.
In 1796, they planned a three-pronged attack to take Vienna
and knock Austria out of the war with two magnificent armies
in the north to kick ass, and Napoleon in the south,
as a bit of a diversion.
For the first time, Napoleon would lead a military campaign.
This was his chance to prove himself, to be somebody,
and what a general, he proved to be.
The army he was given were demoralized,
lacking equipment, and underpaid,
but Napoleon galvanized them with inspirational speeches.
And he took them into Italy.
He was outnumbered and his campaign was partially
meant to be a sideshow, but he made it the main show.
While the two Northern armies were being held back,
Napoleon made staggering progress.
In a signature Napoleon move,
he masterfully split his enemies into two
and took them on separately,
knocking Sardinia out of the war,
and putting the Austrians on the run.
At the famous Battle of Lodi,
he was in the fray, aiming the canons himself,
getting covered in mud,
and earning the total respect of his men.
They respected him so much,
that when he ordered an almost suicidal assault
on the only bridge in town, his men threw themselves at it
and took it despite fierce Austrian resistance.
For Napoleon, it was all he needed to confirm
that he was the greatest human who had ever existed.
Wow Napoleon, you're pretty great at this military stuff.
Just be careful, your head doesn't get too big.
What did you just say to me you little prick?
And as Napoleon swept through Northern Italy,
the Italians cheered his arrival.
Yes! I'm here to liberate you from your
cruel Austrian oppressors.
And replace them with French ones.
Napoleon plundered as he went, sending riches back
to France to help its economy, but also
paying his men the first real money that's seen in years.
The Pope had been supporting the Austrians,
so Napoleon briefly went to go give him a slap.
And as he began to approach Vienna,
the exhausted Austrians were forced to make peace,
with Napoleon overseeing negotiations himself.
He had just single-handedly knocked Austria out of the war.
And by the way, he was only 28.
So maybe it's about time you moved out of your dad's attic.
In the Italian territories he had conquered,
Napoleon established new French sister republics,
even writing constitutions
and organizing governments himself.
Not something a general generally does.
When he got back to France, he was hailed as a hero
and the extremely unpopular government were concerned
he might get some power hungry ideas.
So they agreed he should go far away from France, to Egypt,
where he could maybe undermine British access to India.
Napoleon was eager to win more glory.
So he brought with him a team of scholars,
and he was like, whoa it's a freaky man cat.
Whoa, it's a big stick.
Whoa, It's an ugly horse.
Whoa, it's a stumpy little manlet.
Hey, I'm actually average height for the time.
But then British Admiral Nelson came down
and wrecked his fleet.
And an Anglo-Ottoman force defeated him at Acre.
So Napoleon abandoned his men and went back to France.
His campaign in Egypt hadn't gone quite as planned.
But one thing you should know about Napoleon was
that he was a skilled propagandist.
He published his own newspapers that sometimes
exaggerated his achievements and even commissioned paintings
that generally made him look cool.
So when he returned to Paris, he was yet again,
hailed as a hero,
and he began to get some power hungry ideas.
First however, he had a bit of a problem to deal with.
See, he had learned something shocking about his dear wife.
Really Josephine, this guy?
I'm just as tall as him.
I'm sorry.
I swear, now that you're becoming famous,
I'll never do it again.
Make sure you don't.
I've never stooped so low as to cheat on you.
Now, if you'll excuse me, I'll be in this room,
consulting my generals for the next 30 minutes.
And by consulting, I mean boinking,
by my generals, I mean this woman
and by 30 minutes, well I mean two seconds.
Having dealt with his wife, Napoleon was then approached
by a very influential politician, who said he had an idea.
He wanted to stage a coup against the deeply
unpopular government
and needed the extremely popular Napoleon's help.
And Napoleon thought that was just the darn tootin'est idea.
The plan was to trap the government
and convince them to voluntarily give up their power.
And here's how they did it.
Hey guys, oh my gosh, quick!
There's a dangerous Jacobin plot to overthrow you
which we definitely aren't just making up.
Better get inside this cage so we can protect you.
Okay.
Gentlemen, we got them.
(cheers)
In this case, the cage was an isolated palace
outside of Paris, with no one around but Napoleon
and his army.
With the government inside, Napoleon then entered
and a pretty chaotic event ensued.
During which, the government didn't seem entirely sure
what was going on, Napoleon's men didn't seem entirely sure
what was going on, and Napoleon himself
didn't seem entirely sure what was going on.
But thankfully Napoleon's brother Lucien,
President of the Lower House, managed to regain control
and the remaining councilmen were intimidated
into creating a new constitution.
And thus, a new government was formed.
This time with three Consuls in charge.
But after Napoleon did some rewriting,
in the end there was really only one man in charge,
the first Consul, him.
And over the next few years,
he worked to consolidate even more power
and essentially became a dictator
in total control of France, who, by the way, he was only 30.
So maybe it's about time you washed
your disgusting bedsheets.
France was now ruled by possibly the greatest
military leader of the time.
Possibly the greatest? Or definitely?
Well now is his chance to prove it.
See, back when Napoleon was still in Egypt,
being Indiana Jones, back home France was in France,
being France.
They had conquered even more territory and they were like
hey Piedmont, you get revolutionary ideals.
Hey Switzerland, you get revolutionary ideals.
And Rome, you get revolutionary ideals.
Everybody gets revolutionary.
Oh, Hey guys, nice sledgehammers,
and Naples, very cool nail gun.
You guys here to get some revolutionary ideals?
(screams)
Sacre bleu!
As France was still spreading the revolution,
And with Napoleon busy in Egypt,
the European powers felt the time was right for round two.
And the War of the Second Coalition, began.
And this time they're big, bad boy buddy Russia
was here to bang some French boys back to Bordeaux.
And bang them, they did.
France, got blasted.
But then Russia pulled out after stalling in Switzerland.
And now that Napoleon was in charge of the country
he was ready to start blasting right back.
He took command of The Army of the Reserve
and he brought the fight to the Austrians.
Now, there are many traits that made Napoleon
a great military leader.
I already mentioned one of them, how he was one of the boys,
and commanded the total loyalty of his men.
But now we see a second reason, the element of surprise.
In 1800, Napoleon moved to Geneva
and it looked like he was probably going to take
on the Austrian forces in Germany.
There's no way he'd be crazy enough to
move his entire army south through the Alps as
a surprise attack on the Austrians besieging Genoa.
Oh, Napoleon's moving his entire army south
through the Alps as a surprise attack
on the Austrians besieging Genoa.
Napoleon's crossing of the Alps, is legendary.
And you may have seen one of the most famous paintings
of the general popping a sick wheelie on his majestic
stallion, surrounded by dangerous mountain terrain.
Of course, in real life, he made the crossing
on a depressed mule, but that's not as cool.
When he emerged in Italy, the Austrians expected him to
come break their siege.
But Napoleon went for their supply line near Milan,
forcing the Austrians to meet Napoleon head-on
at the famous battle of Marengo.
The Austrians initially clobbered the out-numbered French.
And they were like, hooray, we won.
But then a few hours later, Napoleon showed up again
with an even bigger army and he clobbered them right back.
Holy cow this tiny little fun sized French guy
is running rings around us.
Hey! I'm average height for the time, you jerk!
Then, after General Moreau's victory at Hohenlinden,
Vienna was exposed and the Austrians again, sued for peace.
Just like the war of The First Coalition,
the Second Coalition ended in another French victory.
But in many ways
they both felt more like Napoleon victories.
Only the UK remained at war with Napoleon and
they were using their powerful Navy to blockade French ports
and were even seizing the cargoes of neutral ships.
Obviously everyone else got pretty pissed
off that the British were interfering with their trade.
So in response,
they formed a league and they embargoed the UK right back.
Neutral countries protecting their own interests?
That's offensive.
So Britain went to Copenhagen and blew a bunch of stuff up.
And the league disbanded.
But because UK's economy was pretty bust
they decided to sign a treaty with France in 1802.
For the first time in a long time, Europe was at peace.
Congratulations, Sire, you've achieved peace.
Yes, Pierre, but not for long.
I still don't trust those dirty Brits.
Did you hear they've been calling me the Boneyman?
What does that even mean?
Keep an eye on them, would you?
I can't, Sire.
Why not?
Because they use NordVPN!
How would you like to spend 12 hours a day
on your favorite website ever without the fear
of your data being stolen?
Then you need NordVPN.
NordVPN has thousands of secure servers in 59 countries,
allowing you to safely surf the net
at the fastest possible speed,
while staying away from online threats,
thanks to the anti-malware tool, CyberSec.
NordVPN comes with a 30 day money back guarantee.
And now you can take advantage
of their new password manager, NordPass,
and new encrypted cloud storage solution, NordLocker,
NordVPN lets you search for better deals
in other territories and unlock content
not available in your country.
Like some OverSimplified videos for example.
It's incredibly easy to use,
with just a click of a button,
you can head up to Canada and watch some sweet Canadian TV,
just like that.
Go to nordvpn.com/oversimplified to get a two year plan
plus one additional month with a huge discount.
That's nordvpn.com/oversimplified.
And as always, you'll be supporting my channel,
so thank you.
Now, where were we? Oh yeah.
Crossing the Alps, defeating the Austrians,
and Europe at peace.
What a meteoric rise it had been for the young Corsican.
He had just taken charge of a nation that appeared to
be losing a war and turned it all around,
securing French gains in Europe.
But there was now a big question, you see, throughout
the chaotic French revolution, French governments
had struggled to keep the economy afloat.
They often didn't have a whole lot of support
and they frequently came and went.
Would Napoleon finally be the man who could stick around?
Military victories were one thing,
but could the general also govern?
Spoiler alert, yes.
The economy's crumbling?
Well then why don't you have yourself a new national bank,
currency reform, and improve taxation and welfare systems.
The legal system is an incoherent mess?
Well then why don't we nicely wrap all those civil laws up
into one new centralized legal code?
Corrupt government officials? throw them in the trash.
Bad infrastructure? Throw it in the trash.
Women's rights? Throw them in the trash.
Wait, really?
Well, Yeah. Unfortunately, while Napoleon was building
on the equality of the revolution,
he also largely scaled back rights for certain groups
and husbands had full legal control over their wives.
But come on ladies,
maybe let men have a slice of the pie for once, okay?
Napoleon further reformed education,
ensuring a system based on individual ability.
Meaning now, Simeon had to compete with everyone else
and Napoleon could get the cream of the crop
to help him run the Republic.
But he wasn't just building on the ideas of the revolution.
The revolution had led to a lot of chaos
and Napoleon needed stability.
So he rolled back a couple of things.
Most notably with religion, the revolution had
pretty much kicked the Catholic church to the curb,
but Napoleon understood that since many French
citizens still considered themselves Catholic,
that could be a problem.
So he came to an agreement with the Pope
and brought back the church.
Only this time with some pretty hefty power limitations.
He also ensured freedom for other religions
and is often noted for his positive treatment
of Jewish people at a time of widespread antisemitism.
But while all of this may make Napoleon sound
like a pretty standup dude, it's good to note
that he believed in religious freedom
because he thought it was a powerful tool to keep the poor
from eating the rich, or something like that.
Overall, Napoleon's aim
was to end the chaos of the revolution
and finally create a stable and prospering French Republic.
And in that aim, he seemed to be largely successful
and generally popular with the people of France.
He officially declared
that the revolution is over, adding I am the revolution.
Napoleon's head could be seen for miles.
Of course, not everyone was happy with Napoleon's reforms.
Conservatives felt he was too radical.
Radicals felt he was too conservative.
But since Napoleon was a dictator,
opposition could usually be stamped out
with some good old fashioned iron fisting.
In 1804, Napoleon took one last major step.
After some failed attempts were made to assassinate him.
He wanted to strengthen his position
and ensure his dynasty could live on after him.
And so he decided being First Consul for Life
simply wasn't quite enough.
He decided he should become Emperor.
He held a vote asking the French people if they were cool
with the idea and they returned to definitely
not rigged, 99.9% in favor.
The balls on this man.
And so in the 2nd of December, 1804,
in an elaborate ceremony at Notre-dame,
Napoleon was made Emperor.
The Pope was even invited to attend
and normally he would crown an Emperor, but to
make sure everyone knew this wasn't some Charlemagne style
circular power division, Napoleon lifted the crown
and placed it on his own head.
Like I said, the balls on this man.
He was now Emperor of the French.
Well Napoleon, you were a General,
then you became First Consul for Life,
And now you're an Emperor.
Is it enough yet?
Is your ambition finally satisfied?
I don't know Pierre, what comes after Emperor?
I would say, God sire.
You want to be a God?
Yes.
I'll put it down under maybe.
Okay everyone. What the hell is going on?
This Corsican guy showed up out of nowhere
and he's kicking our ass!
He's exporting the ideas of the French revolution
wherever he goes.
And he just declared himself King of Italy and Emperor.
He can't do that, I'm the emperor!
Oh, hey fellow monarchs.
I see you're having a monarch party.
My invite must've got lost in the mail.
I'll just set up a spot right here.
Wow. You don't belong here, Napoleon.
We're coming to take you down.
I'd like to see you try.
I'm so scared, I just pooed my pants.
Hey everyone, I just pooed my pants!
(crowd laughing)
No, but I did just poo my pants.
Before Napoleon had even declared himself Emperor,
the British had already re-declared war on France,
because both sides had been violating their previous treaty.
Napoleon immediately occupied Hanover
and then began making plans for a great British invasion.
Partially paid for by selling a huge chunk of land
to the United States.
Napoleon gathered his army along the English channel.
But here was the problem,
while Napoleon's powerful army would almost certainly
obliterate the British on land,
there was very little chance he'd actually make it
across the channel because Britannia ruled the waves.
This power dynamic would keep the two traditional enemies
from engaging in much real direct combat
throughout the Napoleonic wars.
However, the British had something else up their sleeves,
copious amounts of money.
They were willing to throw cash at anyone
who would go to war against Napoleon.
And there were plenty of takers, Austria, Russia, Naples
and Sweden, hoping to put Napoleon's France back
in its place, formed The Third Coalition against France.
The coalition forces probably thought
that this time they stood a chance.
They weren't prepared for the total humiliation
they were about to suffer.
The War of the Third Coalition was Napoleon at his best.
We've already learned two ways
in which Napoleon was a great military commander
but here comes one of the biggest reasons, speed.
He had reorganized his army into corps,
which were themselves, basically small armies.
Each had their own infantry, cavalry and artillery.
And as a result was able to act more independently.
They spread out through the countryside and by living
off the land, rather than relying on heavy supply trains
they were able to move extremely quickly.
Napoleon would traverse massive distances,
outmaneuver his enemies, isolate them and then move in
for the kill before they even knew what was going on.
Lightening warfare, leading to total destruction.
Would you like to see him do it?
Here we go.
Part of the Coalition's plan was for the Russians to meet up
with the Austrians and take on Napoleon together.
Combined, they could turn the tide against him.
So Napoleon needed to stop them from ever meeting,
but he's all the way over in Bouillon.
No problem.
In a matter of weeks, Napoleon marched 200,000 men,
in secret, encircling Austrian general Mack,
and capturing his entire army.
A devastating blow.
Napoleon later remarked,
I have destroyed the Austrian army by simply marching.
Next, he turned to face the approaching Russians.
Okay. It looks like the French are coming for us,
but check this out.
I've got an amazing idea.
When they approach, We run away,
Sir, you're a genius.
The Russians began to retreat with Napoleon giving chase.
And since his tactics relied on quick victories,
this could be a problem.
Especially because the longer the war went on,
the more likely it looked
other countries may join the coalition against him.
But Napoleon knew the Russians are
Alexander The First, who was young and seeking glory.
So he came up with an idea to lure him in.
He sent him a message.
What does it say?
It says, hello. I'm just a little baby boy,
and I'm very scared.
Are you talking like that, or is he?
He is, sir.
Why's he doing that?
I don't know, but it's very cute, helpless, and vulnerable.
A little baby boy.
Very scared.
Cute?
Boris, get my crossbow, we're going hunting.
The Allied forces turned to face Napoleon,
who they now believed was in a vulnerable position.
He was set up at Austerlitz
and to make it look like he was retreating,
he had even evacuated the high ground.
A thick fog set in, obscuring Napoleon's center,
as the Allies took the bait and set up on the heights.
From there,
they spotted Napoleon's very weak looking right flank.
And they descended the Heights to go get it.
Little did they know,
it was exactly what Napoleon was hoping they'd do.
The next thing they knew, a large French force was emerging
from the fog, launching a huge central assault up the hill.
They swung around crushing the allies.
And as men attempted to flee across the frozen lakes,
Napoleon ordered his artillery to fire on the ice,
causing an unknown number to drown.
But he told me he was just a little baby boy, what happened?
He tricked you, sir.
You mean I was the little baby boy all along?
It was Napoleon's masterpiece.
And Austria were once again forced
to make peace with France.
Then, with the French conquest of Naples in 1806,
The War of the Third Coalition ended
as yet another Napoleon victory.
This was the third time Napoleon had had to
give Austrian Emperor Francis a good spanking.
And so with the peace treaty in 1805,
Napoleon was determined to punish him.
He was forced to give up territory,
hand over significant compensation,
and promised never to fight Napoleon again.
For now Russia, Sweden, and the UK
remained at war with France
but none were able to offer much of a threat.
And so Napoleon got to work
strengthening his grip over Europe.
He gave out rule of captured territories
to his family and friends.
And most notably, he established a new Confederation
in Germany with himself as its protector.
Seeing his influence in Germany being wiped away,
Emperor Francis acknowledged reality,
and officially dissolved the holy Roman empire.
An entity that had existed for over a thousand years.
But it wasn't all good news for Napoleon.
For one thing, Spain had earlier allied with France in 1804,
because the British just couldn't help themselves
from blowing up Spanish ships.
And Napoleon hoped the combined French-Spanish fleet
would eventually be able to invade England.
Unfortunately, he received word that British Admiral Nelson
had engaged his fleet at Trafalgar.
Normally Naval battles looked like this, but in this case,
Nelson did this?
Was it because he was an idiot?
No, it's because he was a genius.
He successfully punched through the Franco-Spanish line,
and unleashed hell.
His victory ensured British control of the sea and his death
during the battle made him a legend.
Napoleon's hopes for a future British invasion, were gone.
But not just that, Napoleon was also hoping to secure peace
on the continent, but that wasn't looking likely
because the Prussian king was under pressure from his wife.
Frederick, he's established a Confederation in our turf,
and he told us he'd give us Hanover
but then offered it to the British.
You have to declare war on him.
What is it with you and war?
What is it with you and being a cupcake?
Go to war.
Okay.
In October 1806, Prussia,
with its famed military tradition joined the Coalition,
and declared war beginning the War of the Fourth Coalition.
Unfortunately, Prussian King Frederick William the Third,
Wasn't the smartest tool in the shed.
Look at him over there.
Being all French, makes me sick!
Boys, will get him this time.
But here's the thing, this time we have to stick together.
Do not, under any circumstances, face Napoleon by yourself.
You all saw what happened to Austria.
Hey, where'd Fred go?
Hey you jerk, think you're some kind of big shot, huh?
Want to tango with Fred?
You don't got the cajones.
We're screwed.
Without consulting its allies,
Prussia had gone ahead and sent Napoleon an ultimatum,
Demanding he move all his forces out of Germany.
Now some of you watching this video,
probably can't even wipe your own bum bum yet,
but even you know,
you don't just send Napoleon an ultimatum.
Obviously, Napoleon went in for the kill.
Prussia's army was quite outdated.
So when they met Napoleon at the twin battles
of Jena and Auerstedt, it wasn't even close.
Even Marshall Davout's heavily outnumbered corp at Auerstedt
sent the Prussians running and Napoleon carried
out a ruthless pursuit of his fleeing enemy, taking Berlin.
And within a single month, decimating the Prussian forces.
Frederick William, and the remnants of his army,
moved to the east.
At this point, Napoleon's forces were pretty tired.
Winter had come and conditions were miserable.
He anticipated both sides would settle into winter quarters,
but Russia decided to try their hand
at an unexpected winter attack.
A series of brutal battles followed that took a heavy toll
on both sides, including the vicious Battle of Eylau,
fought in blizzard conditions.
Men froze to death, and many deserted.
The Russian artillery tore the French to shreds,
and Napoleon himself was momentarily
under risk of being captured.
In the end, the French army was saved,
thanks to a legendary cavalry charge
by Napoleon's flamboyant cavalry commander, Murat.
After the horror inflicted on both sides,
they decided it might be a good idea not to
do any more fighting until after winter.
Then after winter came and the fighting continued
the Russians were pushed back to Friedland,
where Russian general Bennigsen made a bit of a blunder
by positioning himself with the aloe river to his back.
The French artillery were able to pin the Russians
between the river and their concentrated gunfire.
A major element in Napoleon's fighting style
and many Russians drowned as they tried to escape.
War of the Fourth Coalition, victory, Napoleon.
(dramatic music)