[00:00] - [OverSimplified] This video
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[00:18] along with some Punic War character pins.
[00:20] - [Character] Oh, wow!
[00:21] - [OverSimplified] Buy them,
or I'll marry your mother.
[00:23] It's your choice.
[00:27] - [Dad] Oh, Marcelus! You
sure have a lot of dignitas!
[00:31] Kiss me!
[00:32] Okay.
[00:33] (imitates kissing)
[00:35] - [Timulus] Hey dad?
[00:36] - [Dad] Hi son, just
reading the newspaper.
[00:37] What can I do for you?
[00:38] - [Timulus] Well, you know
how you always say Rome
[00:40] is the greatest civilization in the world?
[00:42] - [Dad] It bloody well is!
[00:44] - [Timulus] Well, I was just wondering,
[00:45] what makes us so great?
[00:47] How did we come to be?
[00:49] - [Dad] Wow. My son!
[00:52] Boy, let me take you on a
journey to this side of the room.
[00:57] The story of Rome begins with
these beautiful baby boys
[01:02] going to town on some
she-wolf mommy milkers.
[01:04] - [Timulus] That's gross.
[01:05] - [Dad] You're gross!
[01:06] Sorry, son.
[01:07] You're not gross. I love you.
[01:09] They're called Romulus and
Remus and when they grew up,
[01:13] in 753 BC, they founded Rome
[01:17] But there was just one problem.
[01:19] They couldn't agree on which
of them should be the king.
[01:21] - [Timulus] But they worked
it out peacefully, right?
[01:24] - [Dad] Oh, heavens no!
[01:25] Romulus caved Remus's
skull in with a shovel.
[01:27] Here's a picture.
[01:28] - [Timulus] Our first
king committed fratricide?
[01:31] - [Dad] I know, look at his face!
[01:33] - [Timulus] When's the
part where we become
[01:34] the greatest civilization, Dad?
[01:36] - [Dad] Well, you see, at
first Rome was full of men.
[01:39] - Oh yeah!
- I'm talking
[01:40] like a real sausage party.
[01:41] You know what I mean?
[01:42] - [Timulus] Yes, sir.
[01:43] - [Dad] So we invited some
neighboring cities over
[01:43] for a big feast and then
we literally kidnapped all
[01:47] of their women.
[01:48] Here's a picture.
[01:49] (laughs) Look at that
one. She's like, bah!
[01:54] (Dad laughs)
- This is messed up.
[01:55] - [Dad] You're messed up!
[01:56] Ugh, sorry, sorry. I'll
be a better father.
[02:00] I promise.
[02:01] So then, finally, after
centuries of monarchy,
[02:04] those tyrannical kings started
getting a little too big
[02:07] for their britches, so
we overthrew the kings
[02:09] and established Rome as a republic.
[02:11] - [Timulus] Is that when
all the killing stopped?
[02:13] - [Dad] Oh, heavens no!
[02:14] That's when the killing surged, baby!
[02:16] We went wild and conquered
the Latin League,
[02:19] the Samnites, the Etruscans!
[02:21] Woo, what a rush!
[02:22] - [Timulus] Dad, Rome
seems pretty barbaric.
[02:25] - [Dad] You're barbaric!
[02:26] Oh, I forgot to tell you
about the time a prophet
[02:28] told Saturn his son would
one day overthrow him.
[02:30] So Saturn literally ate his own son,
[02:34] seconds after he was born.
[02:36] - [Timulus] I don't wanna see a picture.
[02:37] - [Dad] Here's a picture.
[02:38] - [Timulus] Dad! Look at that!
[02:40] - [Dad] Hmm?
[02:41] - [Timulus] That's messed up, man.
[02:42] Are we really this uncivilized?
[02:43] - [Dad] Hey, hey, if
we were so uncivilized,
[02:46] would we use communal
toilets where we all fart
[02:48] and poo together in
one big stinky, steamy,
[02:50] dirty toilet room?
[02:51] - [Timulus] Yeah, dad, we would!
[02:53] - [Dad] Clean your butt
with the sponge, Timulus!
[02:55] - [Timulus] But all
these guys just used it.
[02:57] - [Roman] What's wrong with your son, bro?
[02:58] - [Timulus] I don't wanna
be Roman. This is so weird.
[03:01] - [Dad] You're weird!
[03:02] Sorry, you're not weird. I'm
sure you're probably fine.
[03:06] Huh?
[03:08] (Timulus screams)
[03:16] - [OverSimplified] The Roman
Republic, the nation that,
[03:18] since its foundation,
had been stabbing necks
[03:21] all the way down the Italian peninsula.
[03:23] But this isn't the famous Roman Empire
[03:25] that ruled the known world.
[03:26] Not yet, anyway.
[03:27] This is a relatively juvenile Rome,
[03:30] (Rome passes gas)
still just a regional power.
[03:31] In 264 BC, the big daddy of
the Western Mediterranean
[03:36] was Carthage.
[03:37] Let's rewind a bit.
[03:39] Carthage was founded in 814
BC when some Phoenicians in Tyre
[03:43] had mega surplus of goods and
decided to export those goods
[03:47] across the Mediterranean.
[03:48] They became the dominant
trading power in the region
[03:51] and to support their
growing trade network,
[03:53] the Phoenicians established
a number of colonies,
[03:56] one of which was Carthage.
[03:58] Therefore, Carthage began its life
[04:00] as a Phoenician trade colony
[04:02] and the Carthaginians
were actually Phoenicians,
[04:05] or, if you're a Latin speaking
Roman, they were Punic,
[04:09] hence the name of the video.
[04:10] - Oh!
- Over the centuries,
[04:12] Carthage gradually expanded
[04:13] and became the region's base of power.
[04:15] Just like Rome, Carthage was
a semi-democratic Republic
[04:18] with its own Senate and Judiciary.
[04:21] But there were also some
pretty hefty differences
[04:23] between the two.
[04:24] While Rome was big into
farming and stabbing people
[04:26] in the neck, the Carthaginians,
on the other hand,
[04:29] just like their Phoenician forefathers,
[04:31] had built their power through trade
[04:33] and navigating the waves.
[04:35] They went here and there,
selling ivory tusks,
[04:38] gold, and slaves.
[04:40] And as a result,
(Carthaginians cheer)
[04:41] they were rolling in it.
[04:44] Whenever they weren't busy swimming around
[04:45] in their copious hoards of
money, in their spare time,
[04:48] they also possibly enjoyed
sacrificing their children
[04:51] to Ba'al, the God of, let
me just check my notes,
[04:54] ah, yes, plant fertility.
[04:57] - [Farmer] Oh boy, these
figs aren't looking too hot.
[04:59] Maybe if I throw my son
into a burning pit of fire,
[05:02] they'll grow.
[05:03] - [Son] Have you tried watering them, Dad?
[05:05] - [Farmer] Hmm.
[05:07] No, we'll try that second.
[05:08] - [OverSimplified] As a
result of all their trading,
[05:10] Carthage had emerged as one
[05:11] of the Mediterranean superpowers.
[05:13] "But wait," they said.
[05:15] "Rome? What the heck is that?"
[05:17] Well, I know it's a pretty
obscure little country
[05:20] that you've probably never heard of,
[05:22] but this spunky young nation was about
[05:24] to upset the entire
region's balance of power.
[05:27] Initially, the two sites enjoyed
[05:28] relatively friendly relations
[05:30] and it even signed a couple treaties.
[05:32] But it was a relationship
that was practically destined
[05:35] to turn sour.
[05:37] See, Rome had a thing where they liked
[05:39] to aggressively expand their boundaries,
[05:41] often viewing such expansion
as a defensive act.
[05:44] Kind of like when you
could kill your neighbor
[05:46] because you knew eventually
they would've tried
[05:48] to kill you first.
[05:50] Meanwhile, Carthage was
extremely protective
[05:52] of its wealthy trade network.
[05:54] So if you put a very
strategically important island
[05:57] between them, well, two
plus two equals war.
[06:01] Tensions rose and the two
sides began viewing each other
[06:05] with increasing disdain.
[06:07] The hardworking Romans
looked across the water
[06:09] at the money-hungry
Carthaginians and said,
[06:11] "Look at those dishonest crooks.
[06:13] Bet they've never done an honest
day's work in their lives!"
[06:16] And the Carthaginians
looked back and said,
[06:18] "Look at those simple-minded brutes.
[06:20] Bet they've never sacrificed
a baby in their lives!"
[06:22] "Yeah!"
[06:24] While war between the two
superpowers seemed inevitable,
[06:27] the event that finally triggered
it was a little unexpected.
[06:30] The whole thing began
with a few simple mad lads
[06:33] on a wild night out.
[06:35] These mad lads are called the Mamertines.
[06:38] They were Italian mercenaries employed
[06:40] by the tyrant of Syracuse, here.
[06:42] But when he died, his successor said,
[06:45] "Sorry, fellas, we don't
need any big burly men
[06:47] with sharp sticks anymore.
[06:48] You can all go home."
[06:49] - [Mamertines] Aw.
[06:51] - [OverSimplified] The
Mamertines, as it turned out,
[06:53] didn't want to go home.
[06:54] So instead, they went to
the nearby town of Messana
[06:56] and said, "Hey man, we are
but poor little buff boys
[07:00] without a home.
[07:01] May we come in?"
[07:02] - [Guard] Aw, poor fellas. Sure thing!
[07:05] Ah, ah, just so long as you promise
[07:08] not to massacre all of us.
[07:09] - [Mamertines] (laugh) We promise!
[07:14] - [OverSimplified] The Mamertines
[07:14] then massacred all of them.
[07:15] Well, not all of them, just the men.
[07:18] And they stole their homes and families.
[07:20] - [Mamertine] Ha, this is my house now!
[07:23] This is my Best Dad Ever mug now!
[07:25] And you guys are my new family!
[07:27] Son, wanna go play catch
with your old papa?
[07:31] - [Son] You're not my real dad!
[07:32] - [Mamertine] Ugh,
teenagers, am I right, dear?
[07:35] - [Woman] You're not my real husband.
[07:37] - [Mamertine] Ugh, I'm so
trapped in this marriage.
[07:40] - [Woman] Then get out!
[07:43] - [Mamertine] No.
[07:44] - [OverSimplified]
Messana was now controlled
[07:45] by the Mamertines and they began raiding
[07:47] up and down the Syracuse coastline.
[07:49] When the new ruler of Syracuse
saw this, he wasn't happy.
[07:52] The Syracusans began fighting
back and in response,
[07:56] the Mamertines said, "Oh,
crap, they're fighting back?
[07:59] What do we do?"
[08:00] - [Mamertine] Quick, we'll
convince the Carthaginians
[08:02] to come and save us.
[08:04] Oh no! We're in trouble!
[08:07] And we need a big, strong empire to come
[08:10] and rub our bellies.
[08:12] - [Mamertine Leader] Why
are you saying it like that?
[08:14] - [Mamertine] If I was
a big, strong empire,
[08:16] I think I'd like to be seduced.
[08:18] (Carthaginians murmur)
[08:19] See, it's working!
[08:23] - [OverSimplified] The
Carthaginians had long dreamed
[08:24] of controlling all of Sicily.
[08:25] They had been fighting Syracuse
and their Greek influence
[08:28] on the island for centuries
[08:29] and now here was a great opportunity
[08:31] to get one over on them.
[08:33] So Carthage promptly answered
the Mamertines's cry for help
[08:35] and sent a force to garrison Messana.
[08:38] As it turned out, however,
some within the ranks
[08:40] of the Mamertines weren't too happy
[08:41] with the occupying Carthaginians
[08:43] and they sent out a second
cry for help to Rome.
[08:46] When it reached the Roman Senate,
[08:48] they were a little more hesitant.
[08:50] Going to help the Mamertines ran the risk
[08:52] of triggering an all-out war with Carthage
[08:55] and they had only just finished
[08:56] conquering the Italian peninsula,
[08:58] so they were kind of tired.
[08:59] Plus the Mamertines were all
the way across the water.
[09:02] They had never made a
leap like that before.
[09:05] So you would assume that
to avoid any conflict
[09:07] with Carthage, the exhausted Romans
[09:09] would probably sit this one out,
[09:11] But you would assume wrong.
[09:14] Rome just couldn't resist
a good chance for war. Why?
[09:19] Well, there's something you
gotta understand about Rome.
[09:22] See, as a Republic, they were hell-bent
[09:24] on preventing any one man from
ever gaining too much power.
[09:28] And so rather than having one leader,
[09:30] Rome had two, called
Consuls, who shared power.
[09:33] These Consuls could also only
serve for one year at a time
[09:36] before new Consuls were elected.
[09:38] These measures, to limit
the powers of the Consuls,
[09:41] were noble, but had an
interesting side effect.
[09:44] The Consuls knew they had just one year
[09:47] to try and gain as much glory
and prestige as possible,
[09:50] something that was very
important in Roman society.
[09:54] And the best way of
gaining glory and prestige?
[09:56] Military victory, of course.
[09:59] The Roman political
system basically ended up
[10:01] encouraging these Consuls to
go out and be as aggressive
[10:05] as your Italian grandmother
[10:07] when you don't eat all the spaghett.
[10:09] And so the glory-seeking
Consuls convinced the people
[10:12] to vote in favor of going to Messana.
[10:15] And in they went.
[10:17] Upon the arrival of the Romans,
[10:19] the Carthaginians in the
city, amongst the confusion,
[10:22] were forced to leave.
[10:23] Now in contrast to Roman aggression,
[10:25] the Carthaginian military
[10:26] had a slightly different philosophy.
[10:29] - [Teacher] All right, kids, listen up.
[10:31] If you wanna grow up to be
Carthaginian military leaders,
[10:33] there's a few things
you have to understand.
[10:36] If you fail to succeed on the battlefield,
[10:38] that's a crucifixion.
[10:39] Showing cowardice, that's a crucifixion.
[10:42] - [Warrior] Hello, sir.
[10:43] - [Teacher] Huh? What are you doing here?
[10:45] Aren't you meant to be in Messana?
[10:46] - [Warrior] Yeah, but
the Romans showed up.
[10:48] - [Teacher] So you just left?
[10:50] - [Warrior] Sure did.
[10:52] - [Teacher] Oh, you better
believe that's a crucifixion.
[10:55] (class cheers)
[10:57] - [OverSimplified] The
Roman Consuls were awarded
[10:58] for victory and therefore tended
[11:00] to be aggressive go-getters.
[11:02] By contrast, the Carthaginian generals
[11:04] were brutally punished for failure
[11:06] and so they tended to be
more cautious and restrained.
[11:09] This dynamic is helpful
for understanding some
[11:12] of the crazy things that
happened during the Punic Wars.
[11:15] So the Romans have crossed over to Messana
[11:18] and now there was some red on the island.
[11:21] Hit that panic button.
[11:22] (crowd screams)
[11:24] This turn of events was unacceptable
[11:26] to both Carthage and Syracuse.
[11:28] So the traditional enemies teamed up
[11:30] to kick the Romans off their island.
[11:32] They surrounded the city and said,
[11:34] "Hey, you jerks, this isn't your island!
[11:37] Come out of there at once!"
[11:39] - [Romans] Okay, we're coming!
[11:41] - [Carthaginian] See, Phil.
[11:41] You just gotta speak with authority.
[11:43] That's what being an
alpha male's all about.
[11:46] - [Romans] Hey man.
[11:48] - [Carthaginian] Oh, you
brought your weapons and armor?
[11:50] No, I didn't mean. Oh, crap.
[11:53] - [OverSimplified] Out
the Roman legions came
[11:55] to engage the Carthaginians in battle
[11:58] and they sent them packing.
[12:00] With the battle of Messana,
whether intended or not,
[12:03] by going to help the Mamertines,
[12:05] the two sides had just
slipped into an all-out war.
[12:10] With the initial Roman
victory, towns across Sicily,
[12:14] including Syracuse began
switching allegiance.
[12:17] Because being a winner is more fun.
[12:20] But the Carthaginians weren't about
[12:21] to just give up that easily.
[12:23] In 262 BC, they began
building up their forces
[12:27] at Agrigentum.
[12:28] So the Romans, being
aggressive go-getters,
[12:30] aggressively go got them.
[12:32] The Romans immediately laid siege,
[12:34] hoping to starve out the
Carthaginian garrison.
[12:37] However, because this
was the first time Rome
[12:39] had been fighting outside
the Italian peninsula,
[12:42] across the water, they struggled
to supply their forces.
[12:45] And before long, the Romans were
[12:47] as starving as the Carthaginians
they were besieging.
[12:51] They had to forage for food,
leaving them open to ambush.
[12:54] And when Carthaginian
reinforcement arrived,
[12:57] creating a double siege,
things got really bad.
[13:00] Everybody starved each other for months
[13:02] until nobody could take it anymore
[13:04] and they all finally came out
for battle, which Rome won.
[13:08] - [War Counselor] Here's the report
[13:09] from the recent siege at Agrigentum, sir.
[13:11] - [Senate Member] We killed 30,000
[13:13] while only suffering 7,000 losses?
[13:16] That's amazing! We're the best!
[13:18] - [War Counselor] Yes, sir.
[13:19] Whoops, those are the wrong way around.
[13:21] - [Senate Member] What? We lost 30,000?
[13:24] We're the worst! But we won, right?
[13:27] - [War Counselor] Yes, sir.
[13:28] - [Senate Member] But we
also got our asses kicked?
[13:31] - [War Counselor] Yes, sir.
[13:32] - [Senate Member] So are
we the best or the worst?
[13:35] - [War Counselor] Yes, sir.
[13:36] (Senate murmurs)
[13:37] - [OverSimplified] The
Romans wanted Agrigentum
[13:39] because they were aggressive go-getters
[13:41] and they now began
eyeing up the possibility
[13:43] of conquering the entire island.
[13:45] But they also suffered very heavy losses
[13:48] and it was clear they
couldn't sustain a campaign
[13:51] if they couldn't supply their troops.
[13:53] Here's the issue. Sicily was an island.
[13:56] Islands are surrounded by water.
[13:59] A strong navy would be
vital for supplying troops
[14:02] and winning the war.
[14:03] Here was Carthage's navy
and here was Rome's.
[14:08] (water splashes)
I think you
[14:09] can see the problem.
[14:10] Historians debate just how
much naval experience Rome
[14:13] had at this point.
[14:15] Presumably, they must have had something
[14:17] to defend their shoreline.
[14:18] But whatever it was, it
would've paled in comparison
[14:22] to the Carthaginian juggernaut.
[14:24] And so Rome had to figure
out exactly what to do
[14:27] about all this water.
[14:29] - [Roman General] Come on, men!
[14:30] We're not gonna let some pansy,
[14:32] candy-ass water get in the way
[14:33] of our glorious victory against Carthage!
[14:36] Charge!
[14:39] (Roman General sputters)
[14:41] Tell my kids I love them!
[14:46] - [Roman Leader] We're
gonna need a bigger boat.
[14:48] - [Roman Warrior] What's a boat?
[14:49] - [Roman Leader] I don't know.
[14:50] - [OverSimplified] If the
Romans wanted to win this war
[14:52] and obtain Sicily, there was
only one thing for them to do.
[14:56] - [Roman General] I guess
we're just gonna have
[14:57] to go ahead and build ourselves
a war fleet, aren't we?
[15:00] - [Hank] From scratch?
[15:01] - [Roman General] From scratch.
[15:02] - [Hank] But we don't even know how,
[15:04] never mind how to fight with one.
[15:05] - [Roman General] Don't worry, Hank.
[15:07] We're up to the challenge. Come on, guys.
[15:09] We're Romans and Romans aren't
afraid of anything! (screams)
[15:13] - [OverSimplified] And so the
Romans worked long and hard,
[15:15] trying to figure out how
on earth you actually built
[15:18] the latest style of warship.
[15:19] In the end, they had a
bit of luck on their side.
[15:22] A Carthaginian quinquireme ended up
[15:24] accidentally grounding on Italian soil.
[15:26] The Romans found it and copied the design.
[15:29] While the new fleet was being built,
[15:31] the Romans trained rowers on
land and, would you believe it,
[15:34] the Romans put together
a full fighting fleet
[15:37] of 120 warships in just two
months, a staggering feat.
[15:43] Now, I know what you're thinking.
[15:45] "But OverSimplified, if the
Romans can build a war fleet
[15:48] from scratch in two months,
[15:49] then why does it take you
half a year to make a video?"
[15:52] Well, my valued subscriber,
I think you should shut up.
[15:57] - [Carthaginian General] What the heck?
[15:58] How on earth did the Romans
learn how to build a war fleet?
[16:02] This shouldn't be happening!
[16:04] - [Carl] From what I hear,
[16:05] they copied the design from us, sir.
[16:07] - [Carthaginian General]
Well, how on earth
[16:08] did they get the blueprint, Carl?
[16:10] - [Carl] I don't know, sir.
[16:12] But I'll tell you what.
[16:13] If you're worried about
people stealing your data?
[16:15] - [Carthaginian General] No.
[16:16] - [Carl] And you wanna protect yourself
[16:17] from outside threats--
[16:18] - [Carthaginian General] Don't you dare!
[16:19] - [Carl] Then you, my friend--
[16:20] - [Carthaginian General]
If you mention NordVPN,
[16:21] I'll scream!
[16:23] - Should use NordVPN!
(Carthaginian General screams)
[16:26] - [OverSimplified] Do
you like corporations
[16:27] knowing everything about you
and then selling your data
[16:30] to advertisers who convince you
to buy things you don't need
[16:32] in an endless cycle over
and over until you die?
[16:35] Me neither! And that's why
I use NordVPN. (laughs)
[16:40] NordVPN allows you to connect
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[17:16] That's Nordvpn.com/oversimplified.
[17:19] And as always, you'll be
supporting my channel.
[17:22] So thank you.
[17:24] Now, where were we?
[17:26] Oh yeah, the siege at
Agrigentum, supply issues,
[17:29] and building a war fleet.
[17:32] So now the Romans have
a navy and it's time
[17:35] to put it to the test.
[17:37] But how does one wage
ancient naval warfare?
[17:40] Easy!
(bell dings)
[17:41] All of the ships had giant
bronze rams on the front,
[17:43] so all you had to do was
out-maneuver the enemy
[17:46] and give them the jimmies.
[17:47] Easy as pie.
[17:49] And so the aggressive Romans set out
[17:51] for some good old fashioned jimmy-giving.
[17:54] The Consul Gnaeus Cornelius
Scipio set out for the town
[17:58] of Lipara, believing the
garrison there wanted
[18:00] to join the Romans.
[18:01] As he entered the harbor,
however, he found himself trapped
[18:05] by a Carthaginian fleet and,
in the following skirmish,
[18:08] he was completely outmatched.
[18:11] The Romans may have had a brand new fleet,
[18:13] but when it came to
engaging in actual combat,
[18:16] their inexperience showed.
[18:18] There was just something better
[18:19] about the Carthaginian ships.
[18:21] The Carthaginian rowers had nicer abs.
[18:24] The entire Carthaginian
Empire had been built
[18:27] on expert seamanship.
[18:29] So when it came to water,
the Carthaginians were better
[18:33] and the Romans were wetter.
[18:35] In their initial skirmish, the
Romans were beaten so badly
[18:39] that the Consul, Scipio,
was given a nickname, Asina.
[18:43] And if you're wondering what
that means, just drop the -ina.
[18:46] (donkey hee-haws)
[18:47] So what were the Romans to do?
[18:49] How could they possibly stand up
[18:51] to this Carthaginian superpower?
[18:53] Well, there's something
you gotta understand
[18:57] about the Romans.
[18:58] Back when they found
that Carthaginian ship
[19:00] and copied its design, that
wasn't a one-off thing.
[19:03] Copying their enemies was as
Roman as punishing murderers
[19:07] by sewing them into a leather
pouch with a monkey, snake,
[19:09] and rooster and then
throwing them into a river,
[19:12] which is a thing they did.
[19:13] Wait, what was I talking about?
[19:15] Oh yeah, copying their enemies.
[19:17] Many of the most famous Roman inventions
[19:20] were actually borrowed.
[19:21] Aqueducts, chariot racing, their gods.
[19:24] Even in warfare, the
Romans would get pierced
[19:27] by a Sabine javelin and
they'd be like, "Wow!"
[19:30] They'd get hacked to
bits by an Iberian sword
[19:32] and they'd be like, "Wow!"
[19:34] And they'd copy the
designs for themselves.
[19:37] However, they wouldn't just copy it.
[19:39] They would advance it,
finding ways to adapt it
[19:42] as perfectly as possible.
[19:45] And in the case of naval
warfare, the Romans realized
[19:48] if they wanted to beat the
Carthaginians at their own game,
[19:51] they would have to adapt.
[19:53] The Romans excelled at
combat on land, not on water.
[19:57] "But what if," they
said, "We could somehow
[20:00] turn a sea battle into a land battle?"
[20:03] Sounds crazy, right?
[20:05] Well, they made a couple of tweaks
[20:08] to their warship and--
[20:09] - [Carthaginian General]
Look, here they come again!
[20:12] They must love getting their asses kicked!
[20:14] - [Carthaginian] Uh, sir,
almost that tall thing
[20:16] sticking out of their ships?
[20:18] - [Carthaginian General]
(laughs) They really are idiots!
[20:23] Look at that thing! That'll
make them blow over!
[20:26] I mean, look at... (laughs)
[20:30] Bob, get your camera out!
[20:34] (laughs) Take a picture of it.
[20:39] I mean, how stupid can you be?
[20:41] Let's just add a big
wooden tower to our ship
[20:44] that'll weigh us down and
blow us over in the wind!
[20:49] I mean, what does that thing even do?
[20:51] (ship crunches)
[20:52] (men yell)
[20:56] - [OverSimplified] The Romans had built
[20:57] a big swinging spiked
gangway called the Corvus.
[21:01] So when the Carthaginian
ships approached to ram them,
[21:03] the Romans would just slam them.
[21:06] The Carthaginians tried
going around. No problem.
[21:09] The Corvus could swivel.
[21:11] Try going behind, the Romans
would huddle to the coastline.
[21:14] It was foolproof.
(Romans cheer)
[21:17] Those big sexy Carthaginian rowing muscles
[21:19] could flex all they want,
but they were no match
[21:22] for the Roman mind.
[21:24] So ladies, you see?
[21:26] What really matters is
what's on the inside.
[21:30] Please go out with me.
[21:31] And with that, the Romans,
who had only just recently
[21:34] began dabbling in the art of naval combat,
[21:37] thanks to their ingenious
Corvus, had just managed
[21:40] to outclass the Mediterranean
seafaring superpower.
[21:44] The Carthaginians were stunned.
[21:46] And the general in charge
[21:48] of the defeated Carthaginian fleet?
[21:50] Well, you better believe
that's a crucifixion.
[21:54] (kids cheer)
[21:56] With their newfound control of the seas,
[21:58] the Romans could now more
easily blockade coastal cities
[22:01] and supply their legions on land.
[22:03] Surely the Romans were now free
[22:05] to unleash their aggression
all over the island.
[22:09] - [Roman General] Haha! Hey Carthaginians!
[22:11] What are you gonna do now that we're free
[22:13] to rampage across the island?
[22:15] - [Carthaginian General] We're
gonna go inside these walls
[22:17] and close this gate.
[22:20] - [Roman General] Oh, come on guys.
[22:21] Stop messing around. Come
out so we can kill you!
[22:23] - [Carthaginian General] No.
[22:24] - [Roman General] Oh, come on!
[22:25] - [Carthaginian General] No.
[22:27] - [Roman General] Oh no!
[22:29] - [OverSimplified] To counter
the new Romans supremacy,
[22:31] the Carthaginians decided to engage
[22:33] in a defensive war of attrition,
[22:35] forcing the Romans to engage
in siege after lengthy siege.
[22:38] The war in Sicily became a
long, hard, back and forth slug.
[22:43] One by one, cities slowly fell
as the Romans gained ground.
[22:47] Occasionally, the Carthaginians countered
[22:49] and even pushed them back,
[22:51] only for the Romans to rebound again.
[22:53] And whenever a city did finally fall,
[22:55] the Romans could delight
[22:57] in slaughtering the entire population
[22:59] and selling any survivors into slavery,
[23:02] which was pretty standard
procedure at the time.
[23:04] In general, the campaign on
land was progressing much slower
[23:08] than the Romans had hoped.
[23:09] And quite frankly, they
were getting sick of it.
[23:12] So in 256 BC, they decided
that something had to change.
[23:18] - [Marcus] Hey everyone, my
name's Marcus Atilius Regulus
[23:21] and I'll be one of your
Consuls for this year.
[23:23] Look as I'm sure you all know,
[23:25] Sicily's being a bit of a drag.
[23:27] Sure, I could go and spend
my entire year as Consul
[23:30] besieging one single city,
but they'll never make
[23:32] a naked statue of me for that.
[23:34] So here's the new plan.
[23:36] I'm gonna skip Sicily
entirely, take my army,
[23:39] and go right for the
heart of Carthage itself.
[23:42] I'll slaughter the men, enslave
all the women and children,
[23:45] and when I return, you'll all build
[23:48] 1,000 naked statues of me.
[23:50] (crowd cheers)
[23:53] - [Jim] Marcus, that
woman and children stuff.
[23:56] That seems pretty evil and barbaric.
[23:58] - [Marcus] No, Jim, it's perfectly normal
[24:00] in the ancient world.
[24:01] Sometimes we even chop their pets in half.
[24:03] (crowd cheers)
[24:05] - [Carthaginian General] Okay
guys, looks like the Romans
[24:07] are coming straight for us this time.
[24:09] And what will they do when they get here?
[24:10] They'll kill us all.
[24:12] (crowd gasps)
[24:13] They'll massacre each
and every last one of us.
[24:14] They may even chop our pets in half.
[24:16] - [Rob] That's barbaric!
[24:18] - [Carthaginian General] No, Rob,
[24:19] it's actually pretty normal for the time.
[24:20] We'd do the same to them.
[24:22] - [Mary] Who will protect us?
[24:23] - [Carthaginian General]
Funny you should ask, Mary.
[24:25] That's kind of why I called this meeting.
[24:27] Who will protect us?
[24:29] Protect our families,
our homes, our children?
[24:35] You guys? Ha, don't make me laugh.
[24:40] Why, you're just a bunch
of stupid and weak farmers.
[24:45] Simple-minded buffoons, cowards, fools.
[24:50] Rob here thinks enslaving
women and children is barbaric.
[24:54] You're a snowflake, Rob. Yes, you are.
[24:58] The fact is if the Romans
manage to land on African soil,
[25:03] we're all gonna die a terrifying, hideous,
[25:09] unspeakably painful death.
[25:16] - [Rob] Is that the end of that speech?
[25:19] - [Carthaginian General] Yes.
[25:20] (crowd screams)
[25:24] - [OverSimplified] The
Carthaginians had to stop the Romans
[25:26] from ever landing in Africa
because they believed
[25:29] that would be the end.
[25:30] So as the Romans were
building an invasion fleet
[25:32] the size of which the world
had never seen before,
[25:35] the Carthaginians were
preparing an even bigger one
[25:38] to stop them.
[25:39] And in 256 BC, as the Roman invasion fleet
[25:43] made its way south, the stage was set
[25:45] for a humongous battle
that saw 680 warships,
[25:50] around 300,000 men, fighting to decide
[25:53] the course of the war.
[25:55] To this day, the Battle of Cape Ecnomus
[25:57] remains possibly the largest
naval battle in human history,
[26:02] all the way back in ancient times.
[26:04] So the next time your granddad tells you
[26:06] about the time he sank a
Japanese aircraft carrier,
[26:09] kick him in the nuts.
[26:10] The Romans had a lot
riding on this battle.
[26:12] They weren't just sending their warships,
[26:14] but transports as well,
full of supplies and horses
[26:17] for their invasion of Africa.
[26:19] They therefore formed a
protective wedge-like formation
[26:22] to punch through the long,
thin Carthaginian line.
[26:25] The Carthaginian generals,
however, desperate
[26:28] to prevent the Romans
from reaching Africa,
[26:30] had a plan of their own.
[26:32] As the Roman fleet approached,
the Carthaginian center
[26:35] feigned a retreat luring the Romans in
[26:38] so their outstretched
flanks could envelop them
[26:41] and get around the Roman
Corvus, a clever plan.
[26:45] But with such a huge battle
[26:47] and so many ships crowded together,
[26:49] the Carthaginians struggled
to maneuver as hoped
[26:52] and in the chaos, three
separate battles emerged
[26:56] across the huge battle space.
[26:58] With the number of ships limiting
their ability to maneuver,
[27:01] the Carthaginians became sitting ducks
[27:04] and all the Romans had
to do was start swinging.
[27:07] The Roman center came out
on top and were then able
[27:10] to turn around and rescue
their pinned-down flanks.
[27:13] The battle of Cape Ecnomus
was a Roman victory.
[27:20] (epic music)