(explosion sound)
- [Narrator] After the gigantic battle at Cape Ecnomus
the Romans were now free to land on African soil,
and so they did.
The Carthaginians chose to focus on
defending the city of Carthage itself.
So the Romans immediately took the city of Aspis
and were then free to raid and plunder the countryside.
They took over 20,000 slaves and a ton of booty
but then some orders arrived from the Senate.
Send home the booty.
D'oh!
But I want to stay.
No, Steve not you.
They mean the treasure.
Well, we are not watching anymore this filth.
- [Kids] Aww.
- [Narrator] So the other consul left with the booty,
leaving Regulus and his forces on their own,
and they began advancing towards Carthage.
Along the way, according to the ancient writer, Livy,
they encountered a literal dragon.
Now Livy was a Roman historian,
so his account may be slightly exaggerated.
But this, I believe.
As the Romans continued to plunder,
the Carthaginian people flooded into the city.
Now, not only was it in a major panic,
but it was so crowded, the people began to starve.
Don't panic, everyone.
Look, I know you're all starving
but I still have food for me.
So, you know, it's not all bad.
(crowd boos)
Whoa, you're wasting your tomatoes
and you idiots wonder why you're starving?
Oh, well it's just more food for me.
(emperor makes chewing sounds)
Things weren't looking good for Carthage.
They had to do something to stop the Romans
rampaging throughout their land.
So they decided, finally, it was time to put an end to it.
They headed out and set up on rough, hilly terrain
overlooking the Roman camp
and they prepared for battle.
Now, while the Carthaginians were the
traditional masters of the sea, on land,
they weren't always the brightest.
Case in point, setting up in this position
overlooking the Roman camp was just about
the stupidest thing they could have done.
Why?
Well, there's something you gotta understand about Carthage.
The Carthaginian land forces actually suffered
from a multitude of different issues.
First of all, since the Carthaginians were
rich, rich, rich, they could afford to pay
a huge number of foreign mercenaries to fight for them.
These mercenaries actually made up the vast majority
of Carthage's forces and therefore
Carthage's land armies were a melting pot
of many different cultures.
This, however, meant that if a battle wasn't
going their way, there could be loyalty issues.
Man, I ain't getting paid enough for this.
You Balearic slingers better not be
thinking of running away.
What did he say?
I don't know, man.
I don't speak Venetian.
Let's get outta here.
Clearly, there were also language issues.
The military generals tended to be Carthaginian
but they made a lot of strange decisions.
For example, one of the most feared assets
of the Carthaginian army were the war elephants.
To a Roman soldier who had never even
seen an elephant before, this was like
fist fighting a literal monster.
Yet the Carthaginians continually kept placing
the elephants in the rear where they were no use.
In a similar fashion, the neighboring region
of Numidia provided Carthage with
the most skilled cavalry men in the world.
But the Carthaginians often chose to fight
on rough, uneven terrain where horses
and elephants were less effective.
And so in this case, when the Carthaginians
again chose the rough terrain near the Roman camp,
the Romans easily sent them packing.
Wow, Regulus.
We're mere miles from Carthage.
You sure are amazing.
Yes, Steve.
I know.
(Steve sighs)
Steve, what's the matter?
We've almost won.
I just wish I could be as great as you Regulus.
Steve, you're amazing.
I mean, look at this thing.
It's unbelievable.
I know, but I mean like at war stuff.
I'm such a noob, my tanks always get blown up.
I can't even fly an aircraft straight.
Tanks, aircraft?
What are you talking about Steve?
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Mow, where were we?
Oh yeah, invading Africa, getting some booty
and sending the Carthaginians packing.
Everything was looking up for Regulus.
A Roman victory seemed like it was only a matter of time,
but then Regulus realized something.
He had been consul for almost a year and his term
was coming to an end.
He knew that if his successor took over
and he finished the job, then he would get
the naked statues, not Regulus,
and there was no way Regulus was going to allow that.
So he jumped the gun.
You there, Carthaginian boy.
I want you to deliver a message to your elders.
I Marcus Atilius Regulus, demand the total
and unconditional surrender of Carthage.
Unconditional surrender?
Geez, at least lay siege and starve us all to death first.
Just deliver the message, punk.
He demands your total surrender.
What?
Geez at least lay siege and starve us all to death first.
Hey, that's what I said.
Well, boys, this Roman thinks we're out,
but we're not out, are we boys?
No.
We'll do what we always do in times like this.
Hire somebody else to solve our problems for us.
Darren, bring in the Spartan.
(dramatic musical trill)
Regulus' overly harsh demands had had the
unintended effect of reinvigorating Carthaginian resolve.
They brought in a mercenary from the famed land of Sparta
named Xanthippus to help dig them out of this situation.
And we all know what Spartans are like.
(crowd cheers)
Xanthippus showed up and immediately took charge.
He had a look around and said, you idiots.
Put the elephants in front of the army
so they can smash into the Romans and
stop fighting on rough, uneven terrain.
Find a big, flat field so your superior cavalry
can do their job.
And what's this I hear about you giving a speech,
telling everyone they're gonna die?
Hey, I was just telling the people the truth.
You're a politician.
Lie to the people.
(crowd gasps in agreement)
And so Xanthippus led out the newly reformed
Carthaginian army to meet Regulus
in the battle of the Bagradas River.
The elephants, now in the front,
smashed into the Roman lines, causing disarray.
The cavalry, with total freedom of movement,
out flanked the Roman infantry.
Thanks to this impressive Spartan,
the battle was a total Carthaginian victory.
And Xanthippus, for his stunning victory,
was forced to flee Carthage
because the leadership got jealous.
Regulus, the Roman consul was captured during the battle.
Legend has it, he was brought before the
Carthaginian council and they made a proposition.
Well, Reggie, not looking so good anymore is it?
Looks like we beat you pretty bad, huh?
(spitting noise)
Up yours, your Punic pansies.
Now, now Regulus, nobody likes a sore loser, do they?
No.
How about this?
We're gonna send you back to Rome
and you convince the Roman Senate to surrender to us.
If you fail though, you gotta come back
so we can torture you to death, okay?
Okay.
You promise?
I promise.
Hey guys.
Whoa, Regulus.
We thought you got captured.
I did.
But they sent me back to convince you to surrender.
Well, should we surrender?
No, never surrender.
Give them hell, boys.
They're at the end of their rope.
Anyway, I gotta go be tortured to death now.
What?
Yep. Part of a deal I made.
It's a long story.
Oh, Hey wait, Regulus.
No, no, it's cool guys, I promised.
Regulus, this is ancient times.
We massacre entire populations.
We chop pets in half.
You can break a promise.
No, Tim!
You never break a promise.
That's too far.
And so Regulus went back to Carthage
and was tortured to death.
And for keeping his promise, he was immortalized
as the leading symbol of Roman virtue.
Meanwhile, after their defeat in Africa,
the remaining Roman survivors, still in Africa,
were still in Africa and they needed to be rescued.
So the Romans sent their fleet to pick 'em up
and bring 'em home.
They successfully fended off a Carthaginian fleet,
grabbed the survivors and made their way to Sicily.
A great success.
But then things took a turn for the worse.
Sir, that cloud looks kind of angry.
Fear not, coward.
If we Romans can build a war fleet from scratch
and defeat the Carthaginian empire at their own game,
why then, even mother nature herself will crumble before us.
I laugh in the face of mother nature.
Haha.
See?
Come on guys, laugh at mother nature with me.
Ha ha!
(all laugh)
(thunder crashes)
(soldiers screaming)
284 ships, nearly 80% of the Roman fleet, was destroyed.
As many as a hundred thousand men drowned
in a terrifying act of nature.
Never before had Rome lost so many men
in a single incident.
A hundred thousand casualties for any other nation
would be crippling.
Any other nation would hastily sue for peace.
Any other nation would spend decades trying to recover.
But Rome was not just any other nation.
Infamous for its unrelenting determination
in the face of overwhelming odds,
Rome said, well, I guess we'll just
have to build another fleet.
And they did.
In just three months, they built 220 more ships,
an astonishing feat.
The Romans sent out their brand spanking new
war fleet and they got caught in another storm.
This time a whole 'nother fleet was lost
and still the Romans did not give up.
The Carthaginians couldn't believe it.
Their enemy had just lost hundreds of thousands of men,
had two fleets almost entirely destroyed
and they still wouldn't surrender.
As one Roman poet put it, the victor is not victorious
if the vanquished does not consider himself so.
In typical Roman fashion, after a short break,
they were once again building another fleet.
However, for now, after all the disasters at sea,
the focus began shifting back to the
land campaign in Sicily.
The Carthaginians, overconfident from recent successes,
attempted to retake Panormus,
but the Romans countered the terrifying war elephants
by throwing stuff at them and scaring them away.
Having stopped the Carthaginian advance,
the road was now open to the final
Carthaginian stronghold on the island, Lilybaeum.
Lilybaeum was an extremely well fortified city.
In 250 BC, the Romans laid siege.
The Carthaginian defense however, was fierce
and skilled blockade runners kept the city supplied.
Progress was so slow that the siege would last
another nine years.
To make matters worse, the Carthaginians
later sent possibly the greatest military general
of the time, a man named Hamilcar Barca, to the island.
He engaged in a skillful campaign of guerrilla warfare
behind enemy lines and for the remainder of the war
he was a major thorn in the Roman's side.
For now, with the deadlocked siege at Lilybaeum
and the new Roman fleet at sea,
things seem to be at a standstill
and the Romans had to do something to break the deadlock.
Thankfully, the Roman consul, Clodius Pulcher, had an idea.
He tried to get things moving by attacking
the Carthaginian fleet at Drepana.
Now before a battle, to predict if they would win,
it was common for the Romans to look
for signs from the gods.
This could mean observing the weather
or inspecting some cow livers, you know,
typical religion stuff.
In this case, Pulcher reportedly tried to
feed some sacred chickens,
but unfortunately for him they wouldn't eat a crumb.
A very bad sign.
Well, he said if they won't eat, then let them drink.
Stupid chickens.
We'll observe the weather instead.
Gods, give me a sign.
(thunder crashes)
Ignore that.
Okay, how about this?
If I can get this piece of paper
into that trash basket, we'll win.
Okay, if I can stand here silently
for five seconds and do nothing, we'll win.
(Pulcher farts)
Ah, dagnammit.
Pulcher chose to ignore the signs from the gods
and in the following battle, the superior Carthaginians
tore them to shreds.
It also didn't help that by now the Romans had
removed the Corvus to stabilize their ships
and without their secret weapon, it was a disaster
and Pulcher was disgraced.
To make matters worse, the victorious Carthaginian fleet
then went on to intercept a Roman supply fleet
on its way to Lilybaeum.
As they approached, however, they saw the signs
of an incoming storm, so they took shelter.
The Romans on the other hand said, onward men, set sail.
We've gotta deliver these supplies stat.
But sir, those clouds.
Don't you think we ought to have learned our lesson by now?
Yes, Brian, we ought to have, but we haven't.
Another fleet and 50,000 men lost in another storm.
Disaster.
Now at this point there still really isn't a clear winner.
Sure, the Romans have captured most of Sicily
and cornered the Carthaginian land forces at Lilybaeum.
But the continued disasters at sea were
critically depleting their resources.
And without a strong fleet, Rome could not win.
Meanwhile, Hamilcar Barca was still knocking about
and creating even more problems.
So where do we go from here?
How does this war finally end?
By now, the two sides had been fighting for 23 years.
They were exhausted.
Their money, their resources, their strength
were all utterly spent.
The Carthaginians, in particular, were eager to see
the war end so they could get back to
trading and making money.
So after the latest Roman disaster at sea,
they said, look, there ain't no way in heck
the Romans can come back again.
They can't possibly afford to build another fleet.
They're done.
That's it.
Recall the Navy, repurpose them as merchant ships
and let's get back to making some money.
(crowd cheers)
Assuming the Romans would soon make peace,
an anti-war faction within the government
recalled a large portion of the Navy,
leaving Hamilcar on his own.
The victors appeared to be declaring themselves victorious.
Meanwhile, the vanquished we're getting ready
for round five.
The Romans built another fleet.
This time heavily relying on patriotic donations
from the upper classes to afford it.
And once again they put to sea.
Sir, the Romans have built another fleet.
Oh, for goodness sake, Clarence.
Can't you see I'm busy rolling around
in this pile of money?
But sir.
I don't care anymore, Clarence.
I just don't care.
The Carthaginian politicians made a
fairly lackluster final effort
with a poorly built fleet to supply their forces in Sicily.
But when the brand new Roman fleet caught them
at the battle of the Aegates, even without their
signature Corvus, they dealt them the final blow.
And that was that.
23 years of war.
Neither side could afford to keep fighting.
But the Romans showed that they intended to anyway.
The Carthaginians had no choice, but to throw in the towel.
The war had been long and hard for both sides
but in the end it was Roman determination
that won the fight.
The Romans had spent the entire war
trying to find a way to deliver the knockout blow.
They learned how to build a fleet
and engage in Naval combat.
They developed ingenious, new ways of waging war.
They attempted an invasion of the Carthaginian heartland
and whenever disasters struck them,
they always came back again, and again.
The Carthaginians, on the other hand,
spent the entire war watching whatever Rome did
and then figuring out how to respond.
They were much more passive.
And so it's no wonder then,
that when both sides were close to collapse
Rome was the one who figured out how
to go that little bit further.
In 241 BC, the Carthaginian politicians
sent word to Hamilcar Barca that he was on his own
and could choose to make peace with the Romans if he wished.
Hamilcar was stunned.
He felt betrayed by the politicians.
Some sources say he refused to even negotiate.
Nevertheless terms had to be drawn up.
Well Hammy, I'm glad you Carthaginians
have finally come to your senses and
recognized who the true winner is.
How many fleets did you lose?
Blah, blah, blah.
Okay, here are our terms.
You leave Sicily to us and return all of our prisoners.
You're not allowed to make war against Syracuse
or her allies and you have to pay us
2200 talents of silver over the next 20 years.
What's a talent of silver?
Well, to put it in perspective,
in the year 2022, that'll be worth around,
let's say 40 million U.S. dollars.
Ay caramba!
That will cripple us.
Wow, we got a real smart guy over here.
Yeah, that's kind of the point, you dingus.
Ugh.
I guess I have no choice.
I accept.
Great.
Oh, by the way, we changed our minds.
You actually have to pay us 3,200 talents
of silver over 10 years.
Thanks for accepting.
Dude!
See you later.
Hey, you didn't let me say uncool.
He didn't let me say uncool.
The treaty was extremely punishing,
and by switching up the terms at the last minute
they enraged the Carthaginians,
but still one of the longest and deadliest
wars at the time was finally over.
The Romans had won.
They achieved their aim of gaining Sicily.
And even though it wasn't part of the peace deal
they took advantage of a weakened Carthage
and grabbed Corsica and Sardinia as well.
Roman expansion beyond the Italian peninsula had just begun.
The Romans hoped that now the Carthaginians
would forever be under their thumb.
Unfortunately, the harsh terms they placed
on the Carthaginians at the end of the war
left a growing anger.
One that would come back to haunt them.
One day, Carthage will have its revenge.
That's nice dear.
I'm serious woman.
Maybe not in my lifetime, but perhaps in his.
My beautiful son, you are born into a momentous destiny.
You shall be Rome's greatest enemy.
You'll tear Rome limb from limb.
You'll burn their pathetic city into the ground.
You'll slaughter their people, men, women and children.
My child, you are vengeance.
Stop telling our baby he's vengeance.
But he is Barbara, he's vengeance.
That may be so someday, but for now our son has a name
and you should call him that instead.
His name is...
(dramatic music)
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(upbeat music)
(upbeat music continues)