of course I'm not the only one who
benefited from last week's big payoff
our state schools got their share too
here lottery officials present
Springfield Elementary with a brand new
eraser one eraser oh I'm used to my
government betraying me I was in Nam aye
sir for 3 other principals try to unload
problem cases that way lord knows I do
I'm a good student Principal Skinner
yes sir and they told me I'd get a big
parade when I got back from Nam instead
they spat on me I can still feel it's
searing so let's just see what the
permanent record house design Charlie
hmm no detention fairly good attendance
record now I see you beat that
bedwetting problem in the second grade
don't worry they'll forget just like
they forgot about me and a tiger cage
for 18 agonizing months every night I
wake up screaming well let's meet your
classmates and I haven't seen such
unfettered early Burley since the fall
of Saigon well William another school
year going by listen to your mother
ELISA
I owe everything I have to my mother's
watchful eye and Swift and oh there's
mother now
watching me with that mother well they
have a right to be here
it's school business I mother that
sailor suit doesn't fit anymore
I think we should go
[Music]
Principal Skinner the happiest place on
earth
is a registered Disneyland copyright
well gentlemen it's just a small school
carnival and it's heading for a great
big lawsuit you made a big mistake
Skinner well so did you
you got an ex-green beret mad copyright
expired where is nur - for 600 100 I
wore this for two years in a Vietcong
internment centre never thought I'd see
the old girl again still fits small
where it is is really really used
everyone misses Principal Skinner some
student possibly Bart Simpson has been
circulating candy hearts featuring crude
off-color sentiments well let me tell
you something
valentine's Day is no joke
[Music]
Sunday yurchikhin Valentine huh yeah
Donny Donny cool I broke his brain so we
meet again Mad Magazine
the year was 1968 we were on recon in a
steaming Mekong Delta and overheated
private removed his flak jacket
revealing a t-shirt with an iron on
sporting the mad slogan up with
miniskirts we all had a good laugh even
though I didn't quite understand it but
our momentary lapse of concentration
allowed Charlie to get the drop on us I
spent the next three years in a POWs
camp forced to subsist on a thin stoom
and of fish vegetables prawns coconut
milk in four kinds of rice it came close
to madness trying to find it here in the
States but they just can't get the
spices race my punishment oh that's my
old unit for Vietnam I was there
sergeant
they were my loyal troops that photo was
taken shortly before I was shot in the
back which was very strange because it
was during a Bob Hope show I was trying
to get Joey Heatherton to put on some
pants for God's sake I've been hoping I
could find something that would be named
after me and you've never found anything
once but by the time I got to a phone my
discovery had already been reported by
Principal Kohoutek I got back at him
though even that little boy it is anyway
back in man like a demand respect
Sarge let's make a break for it while
the guards your party with Jane Fonda
nope too dangerous we're all gonna sit
tight and reminisce about candy bars oh
well one time I'm eating a candy bar at
the beach and a girl starts taking off
her bathing suit get back to the candy
bar the hell with this I'm getting out
of here no you fool
that elephant ate my entire platoon this
is the worst thing I've ever done even
worse than what I did in Nam
[Music]
you're gonna get your parade down my
esophagus