but say what you want about America land
of the free home of the brave we got
some dumbass floating
around this country dumb ass
you
know now obviously that doesn't include
this audience I understand that you seem
intelligent and perceptive but the rest
of them holy jumping
dumber than a second coat of
paint and this ain't just ranting and
Raven this ain't just blowing off steam
I got little evidence to support my
claim it just seems to me seems to me
that only a really low IQ population
could have taken this beautiful
continent This Magnificent American
landscape that we
inherited well actually we stole it from
the Mexicans and the Indians but hey it
was nice when we stole it it looked
pretty good it was
pristine Paradise have you seen it
lately have you taken a good look at it
lately is embarrassing only a
nation of unenlightened half wits could
have taken this beautiful place and
turned it into what it is today a
shopping mall a big shopping
mall you know
that that's all you got that's all
you've got here folks mile after mile of
mall after Mall many many malls major
malls and mini malls they put the mini
malls in between the major malls and in
between the mini malls they put put the
mini Marts and in between the mini Mars
you got the car lots gas stations
muffler shops laundr mats cheap hotels
fast food joints strip clubs and dirty
bookstores America the beautiful one big
transcontinental commercial Cesspool and
how did the people feel about all this
how do the people feel about living in a
coast to coast shopping mall well they
think it's just
Dandy they think it is cool as can be
cuz Americans love the mall they love
them allall that's where they get to
satisfy their two most prominent
addictions at the same time shopping and
eating millions of semiconscious
Americans dayf today shuffling through
the malls shopping and eating especially
eating Americans love to eat they are
they are fatally attracted to the slow
death of fast food hot dogs corn dogs
triple bacon cheeseburgers deep fried
butter dipped in pork fat and cheese
whiz mayonnaise soak barbecue mozzarella
Patty melts Americans will eat anything
anything anything if you were selling
sauted raccoons on the
stick Americans would buy them and eat
them especially if you dipped them in
butter and put a little salsa on
them this country is Big Time Pig time
forget the bald eagle you know what the
national emblem of this country ought to
be a big bowl of macaroni and cheese a
big bowl cuz everything in this country
is king size king size extra large in
super jumbo especially the
people have you seen some some of the
people in this country have you taken a
good look at some of these big fat
walking around big fat
oh my God huge piles of
redundant
protoplasm lumbering through the malls
like a fleet of Interstate buses the
people in this country are immense
massive bellies monstrous thighs and big
fat
asses and if you stand there for a
minute and you look at one of them you
look at one of them you you you begin to
wonder how does this woman take a
how does she
and even more frightening how does
she wipe her
ass can she even locate her
she must require
assistance are paramedics trained in
this
field and standing right next to her of
course with a plate full of nachos and a
mouthful of Pie as her clueless
husband Joe sixpack
with his monstrous swollen beer belly
hanging dangerously out over his Bel
beer belt buckle this guy ain't seen his
dick since the Nixon
Administration and if you stand there
and you look at the two of them you
begin to wonder to
yourself do these people
is this man actually capable of
this woman it doesn't seem
structurally
possible that these two people could
achieve
penetration maybe they're in that cir do
so play or
something telling you the people in this
country are every half every every one
of them is 50 lbs overweight they are
gargantuan and in the summertime God
help
us in the summertime they all want to
wear short pants Jesus Lord protector of
all that is good and holy deliver me
from fat people in short pants they all
got short pants big bellies fat thighs
and dumb kids short pants big bellies
fat thighs and dumb kids every one of
them's got two dumbass kids with them
and the whole family is wearing t-shirts
and every one of them's got the same
t-shirt I'm with
stupid apparently in this country the
stupids are an extended family and
besides wearing them t-shirts everyone
in the family's got on a backpack they
got a backpack strapped to their back so
they can carry around lots of stupid
and the reason they got to carry
their stupid strapped to their
backs is because their hands must remain
free at all times to hold
food and to get that food up to the
mouth where it gets shov in with all the
rest of the disgusting they ate
that
day
and another reason for the backpacks is
these people are going to buy even more
stupid they ain't got enough stupid
at home they just had a stupid
sale they going to buy more they're
going to go out in the parking lot and
stuff this stuff into the big fat ugly
oversized
SUV that's got plenty of room in it
plenty of room in it for stupid and
lots of room left over for these big fat
ugly to get them home
stopping of course for jelly roll and
fried
dough these people these people are
efficient professional compulsive
consumers it's their civic duty
consumption it's the new National
Pastime baseball it's consumption
the only true lasting American value
that's left buying things buying things
people spending money they don't have on
things they don't need money they don't
have on things they don't need so they
can max out their credit cards and spend
the rest of their lives paying 18%
interest on something to cost
$1250 and they didn't like it when they
got it home anyway not too bright folks
not too bright but if you talk
to one of them about this if you isolate
one of them you sit them down rationally
you talk to them about the low iq's and
the dumb Behavior and the bad decisions
right away they start talking about
education that's the big answer to
everything education they said we need
more money for Education we need more
more books more teachers more classrooms
more schools we need more testing for
the kids you say to them well you know
we've tried all of that and the kids
still can't pass the test ah don't you
worry about that we're going to lower
the passing grades and that's what they
do in a lot of these schools now they
lower the passing grades so more kids
can pass more kids pass the school looks
good everybody's happy the IQ of the
country slips another two or three
points and pretty soon all you'll need
to get into college is a
pencil got a pencil get the in
there it's
physics then everyone wonders why 17
other countries graduate more scientists
than we do education politicians know
that word they use it on you politicians
have traditionally hidden behind three
things the flag the Bible and children
No Child Left Behind No Child Left
Behind oh really well it wasn't long ago
you were talking about giving kids a
Head Start Head Start left behind
someone's losing ground
here but there's a reason there's a
reason there's a reason for this there's
a reason education sucks and it's the
same reason that it will never ever ever
be fixed it's never going to get any
better don't look for it be happy with
what you got because the owners of this
country don't want that I'm talking
about the real owners now the real
owners the big wealthy business interest
that control things and make all the
important decisions forget the
politicians the politicians are put
there to give you the idea that you have
freedom of choice you don't you have no
choice you have owners they own you they
own everything they own all the
important land they own and control the
corporations they've long since bought
and paid for the Senate the Congress the
state houses the City Halls they got the
judges in their back pockets and they
own all the big media companies so they
control just about all of the news and
information you get to hear they got you
by the balls they they spend billions of
dollars every year lobbying lobbying to
get what they want well we know what
they want they want more for themselves
and less for everybody else but I'll
tell you what they don't want they don't
want a population of citizens capable of
critical thinking they don't want
well-informed well-educated people
capable of critical thinking they not
interested in that that doesn't help
them that's against their interest
that's right they don't want people who
are smart enough to sit around the
kitchen table and figure out how badly
they're getting by a system that
threw them overboard 30 years
ago they don't want that you know what
they want they want obedient workers
obedient workers people who are just
smart enough to run the machines and do
the paperwork and just dumb enough to
passively accept all these increasingly
shittier jobs with the lower pay the
longer hours the reduced benefits the
end of overtime and the vanishing
pension that disappears the minute you
go to collect it and now they're coming
for your Social Security money they want
your retirement money they want
it back so they can give it to their
criminal friends on Wall Street and you
know something they'll get it they'll
get it all from you sooner or later cuz
they own this place it's a big
club and you ain't in
it you and I are not in the big club by
the way it's the same big Club they used
to beat you over the head with all day
long when they tell you what to believe
all day long beating you over the head
in their media telling you what to
believe what to think and what to buy
the table is tilted folks the game is
rigged and nobody seems to notice nobody
seems to care good honest hardworking
people white collar Blue Collar doesn't
matter what color shirt you have on good
honest hardworking people continue these
are people of modest means continue to
elect these rich who don't
give a about them they don't give a
about you they don't give a
about you they don't care about you at
all at all at
all man you
know and nobody seems to notice nobody
seems to care that's what the owners
count on the fact that Americans will
probably remain willfully ignorant of
the big red white and blue dick that's
being jammed up their every day
because the owners of this country know
the truth it's called The American Dream
cuz you have to be asleep to believe it